Old Farts: Share Your Experiences Here

[singleton]

fvck getting old... I have enough problems as it is!

Monday I will be groped by the doc for testicular cancer. Big lump, 95% chance that it is malignant (if it is a tumor I mean...if it isn't a tumor *knock on wood* then it will be okay). I'm scared out of my f'ing mind! My brother already died from leukemia (at age 11).

People die all around me already, who needs to grow up? Fvck! Get high, get high, get high is all I think.

Why try!

I'm not suicidal, but I ain't out to live right now!

 

[zoobyshoe]

Monday I will be groped by the doc for testicular cancer. Big lump, 95% chance that it is malignant (if it is a tumor I mean...if it isn't a tumor *knock on wood* then it will be okay). I'm scared out of my f'ing mind!

Shiiiiiiit! I don't blame you one bit for being scared.

 

[Math Is Hard]

fvck getting old... I have enough problems as it is!

Monday I will be groped by the doc for testicular cancer. Big lump, 95% chance that it is malignant (if it is a tumor I mean...if it isn't a tumor *knock on wood* then it will be okay). I'm scared out of my f'ing mind! My brother already died from leukemia (at age 11).

People die all around me already, who needs to grow up? Fvck! Get high, get high, get high is all I think.

Why try!

I'm not suicidal, but I ain't out to live right now!

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. I can't even imagine how tough this must be for you. Try not to panic until you see the doc. Seriously, it could be nothing.
But- worst case scenario - if it helps any, I have a friend who was diagnosed with testicular cancer about 7-8 years ago, but he got treated and he's doing great. In fact he just sent me an email last week to let me know that he and his new wife are expecting a baby girl.

 

[Moonbear]

fvck getting old... I have enough problems as it is!

Monday I will be groped by the doc for testicular cancer. Big lump, 95% chance that it is malignant (if it is a tumor I mean...if it isn't a tumor *knock on wood* then it will be okay). I'm scared out of my f'ing mind! My brother already died from leukemia (at age 11).

I can totally understand being scared! Testicular cancer has a good success rate for treatment. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, and knock on wood, and send good thoughts and karma your way, and whatever else you can think of that might help make this lump totally benign.

 

[singleton]

Thanks guys. I do appreciate good thoughts. I too hope that it is nothing.

Believe me that dying isn't the worst part. I clearly recall hearing my brother gasp for air...choking and through primal instinct just trying to stay alive. Look into their eyes... you want to say its okay, right? You want to say "hey, I can take it all away! don't worry!" But you can't. You can't do a thing. You hear them wheeze and struggle for days on end. By this point you can't communicate with them (verbally) but their eyes convey it all. They are so f'ing scared and so are you. You cant' do **** and that is what it comes down to.

I am just so fearful I will degrade to that point and someone else will have to witness it.

To be so powerless and see someone you care about suffer. You are so weak and have no control over it.

Big brother? Big nothing!

To live to be 50 and have a reasonably healthy life for myself and those around me, that would be absolutely amazing! Don't get upset over your body breaking down (slowly). Believe me, I'd much prefer that than the hand I was dealt. I do hope to live to at least 80

Cherish every single day you have. Who cares about a little bodily function loss in the whole scheme of things?

 

[Moonbear]

I am just so fearful I will degrade to that point and someone else will have to witness it.

That's the aspect of death that I'm most fearful of as well. Not that I'm planning to get there anytime soon, but I've watched the lingering, slow death, and I'd much rather go quickly so those I love don't have to suffer through watching my death.

But, gosh darn it, you're going to have a long time to wait before you have to worry about that! On Monday, you might be the first ever to report back here cheering that you've been diagnosed with a hernia.

 

[singleton]

That's the aspect of death that I'm most fearful of as well. Not that I'm planning to get there anytime soon, but I've watched the lingering, slow death, and I'd much rather go quickly so those I love don't have to suffer through watching my death.

But, gosh darn it, you're going to have a long time to wait before you have to worry about that! On Monday, you might be the first ever to report back here cheering that you've been diagnosed with a hernia.

Hernia is abdominal pain caused by exertion, correct?

I have a lump and some abnormal lower back pain (and there has been no back trauma)

:(

Even if it is TC, I hope that it is an early stage seminoma

 

[Math Is Hard]

I am just so fearful I will degrade to that point and someone else will have to witness it.

To be so powerless and see someone you care about suffer. You are so weak and have no control over it.

Like my mom likes to say, "no one gets out alive". At some point, we are all going to do this to someone. You could not help your brother in his last moments, but you were there to comfort him and that means something. We should all be so lucky to have a loving sibling by our side when we leave this world.

 

[Moonbear]

Hernia is abdominal pain caused by exertion, correct?

Depends. Sometimes you can catch it before it starts causing pain. It's when a loop of intestine slips down through an opening or weak area in the inguinal canal. So, depending where you feel the lump, and whether it feels soft or hard, and if it feels attached to the tissue below it or like it can move around all would factor into an initial screening. I'm not an M.D. though, so don't start letting me diagnose you.

I have a lump and some abnormal lower back pain (and there has been no back trauma)

:(

Even if it is TC, I hope that it is an early stage seminoma

I too hope that if it is TC, that it's early stage and responds well to treatment.

Lower back pain could be totally unrelated...just sitting too long with the wrong posture can do that.

For now, just try to stay as positive as you can and just wait for the diagnosis before you make yourself completely crazy. I wish there was something more I could do to ease your mind until then.

 

[singleton]

Depends. Sometimes you can catch it before it starts causing pain. It's when a loop of intestine slips down through an opening or weak area in the inguinal canal. So, depending where you feel the lump, and whether it feels soft or hard, and if it feels attached to the tissue below it or like it can move around all would factor into an initial screening. I'm not an M.D. though, so don't start letting me diagnose you.



I too hope that if it is TC, that it's early stage and responds well to treatment.

Lower back pain could be totally unrelated...just sitting too long with the wrong posture can do that.

For now, just try to stay as positive as you can and just wait for the diagnosis before you make yourself completely crazy. I wish there was something more I could do to ease your mind until then.

Don't worry Moonbear, I've had 9 pints and I still can't ease it at this hour ;)

Thanks again.

But again, my point of posting was to remind everyone that you must value everything. Being old isn't a problem...it is a blessing! I realize just the same that your years pass too fast. I'm only 22, but tomorrow I'll be 42 and won't know where it went. No one should die but, yeah, what was I going to say? :D

Just value it all. You're lucky if you get to the point your hearing starts to fail

 

[Gale]

ok first of all... this is entirely inappropriate but... singleton was talking about testicular cancer and said "knock on wood," c'mon, that's kinda funny, eh? wood... c'mon...
anyways, sorry to hear buddy. but maybe you'll think that wood thing is funny eh? cause laughing is usually what i do when I'm depressed. i can make a few more penis related jokes if you'd like.

i'm just a kid... and its weird. i read everyone's things... wow... I'm amazed by the whole aging thing in general. honestly, its riddiculously weird... I'm such a young kid. but I've gone through so much stuff i can't believe it. i still clearly remember what it was like to be an 8 year old. i remember wishing i could kiss a boy, or drive a car, or be in college! holy cow! I've done all that! i remember reading science books, and reading about these crazy concepts, like forces and all that, and now i actually can derive all sorts of crazy formulas. i can't believe that i understand what i do, and that i know what i know, that I've learned so much. I'm just a kid, and i can't believe I'm so old.

i've actually been thinking about my age a lot lately. i'll be a 17 yr old sophomore in college next semester... i was planning on being married by then... holy cow! i feel like a 20 something... but i got 3 years yet... wow. time and i have our differences, and i wonder how that'll all be resolved in the end.

i look forward to aging, but i think I'm pretty happy to be a kid right now. I'm finally starting to be comfortable with things actually, and that's nice. i look forward to learning more, and then sharing what i learn. i really look forward to teaching young kids about life. i think about all the different stages of life, and none of it seems too bad sounding. it makes me really happy to see kids happy. it also makes me really happy to see the elderly happy. its really comforting really i guess. i like thinking that you can start with a clean slate and end it all and still be happy with life.

i'm sorry, i have no idea what I'm saying right now. I'm super tired, and emotional maybe. growing up sounds awesome though. someday maybe time will let me do it. meanwhile i just keep flying through everything waiting for time to catch up. makes me feel like I'm cheating, like i get to stay young for longer. but its funny. I'm just happy that I'm alive i guess, or something... and i don't think i'll lose that feeling... so that's cool...

 

[singleton]

Gale17: you got a laugh out of me on the first part

 

[Math Is Hard]

singleton's 22?? Oh, for Pete's sake! I've been worried over nothing. $20 says it's an ingrown hair!

 

[singleton]

singleton's 22?? Oh, for Pete's sake! I've been worried over nothing. $20 says it's an ingrown hair!

Well, you can't have hair internally

I won't go into explicit detail as this is an all-ages oriented forum. But yeah, I'll just wait till Monday ;)

Luckily tomorrow is another BBQ so I'll be drunk out of my mind enough that I won't be too overly worried hehe.

Edit: and testicular cancer (unlike others) is a young man's cancer. I'm at the exact age where it strikes worst believe it or not.

When you saw 22 you probably thought to yourself "oh crap, not even 40?". TC is different in that it attacks younger ones :(

 

[Gale]

Gale17: you got a laugh out of me on the first part

SCORE!
does that mean you want me to tell some more penis jokes? or does that mean they're unnecessary? hmm... perhaps penis jokes are immature, thus they don't belong in the old people's thread. man, this is hard... heh... hard... penises... I'm SUCH a kid... hehe...

alright, you guys can have your thread back, this kiddo won't disgust you all with her gall and guff or whatever... but so you know, there's no way you can get me to cover up me bum! don't tell me that it has no shock value anymore... i will wear my pants around my knees, and you will be amazed at the things you see!

heh... ok I'm gone...

 

[Math Is Hard]

singleton, I'm glad to hear you have a full weekend planned. That will certainly help keep your mind off things. I'm going to bed now. I am going to say some prayers for you before I go to sleep. Maybe they will be a little helpful. Maybe not as much as Gale's wise cracks, but I'll try! (Hey, have you seen her "I'm Pillow Head" thread, by the way? Awesome!)

 

[Astronuc]

Believe me that dying isn't the worst part. I clearly recall hearing my brother gasp for air...choking and through primal instinct just trying to stay alive. Look into their eyes... you want to say its okay, right? You want to say "hey, I can take it all away! don't worry!" But you can't. You can't do a thing. You hear them wheeze and struggle for days on end. By this point you can't communicate with them (verbally) but their eyes convey it all. They are so f'ing scared and so are you. You cant' do **** and that is what it comes down to.

Singleton, I went through the same thing with my youngest brother (8.5 years younger), who died from acute myelogenous leukemia (AML), M5, the most aggressive. It sucked!

Not a thing could be done in the end, except wait for the inevitable.

The situation was made worse by the medical treatment. After 8 months of chemo and one month of radiation (lifetime's worth in one month), his body had pretty much had it. The doctor tried one last 'magic bullet', a new drug. The contra-indication was 'do not use if there is liver damage', but the doctor prescribe 'full strength'. Well my brother's liver had been damaged from chemo and radiation. So his liver basically shutdown - and no chance of a liver transplant because he had no immune system left.

I saw may brother in an isolatio ward just before he passed into unconsciousness. He could not speak because of all the tubes, and dry oxygen which caused his tongue to swell, and both his tongue and lips to crack. All he could do was moan.

When I left that morning to go home (I lived out of town), I kissed him good-bye. That day was my father's birthday, and my birthday was the next day. My brother died 4 days later. I called his hospital room and the attendant answered. I could hear my brother struggling to breath (agonal breathing) as his lungs filled with fluid. I ended the short conversation because there was nothing to say to the attendant - I had hoped to talk to my parents or my sister who were there. I got a phone call later from my father to say that my brother would be moved to hospice in the morning, but it was unlikely that he would live more 24-48 hrs. That was about 8pm my time.

I got a call one hour later from my father who informed my that my brother had just died. That hurt big time! He was only 34, and left behind a wife and 3-yr old son.

Life is precious - cherish it and the people you love!

Where there is life, there is hope. Singleton, I hope you pull through this and make it to 80.

 

[Evo]

But- worst case scenario - if it helps any, I have a friend who was diagnosed with testicular cancer about 7-8 years ago, but he got treated and he's doing great. In fact he just sent me an email last week to let me know that he and his new wife are expecting a baby girl.

A guy I work with had it years ago and was treated and is fine.

Let us know what happens singleton!

 

[Danger]

Damn kids and their hip-hop music and their tongue piercings and their butt-cracks hanging out all over the place!

I actually like most of that (well, the butt thing only on girls). Maybe it's just because of the people I associate with, and definitely due in large part to that 19 year-old that I was with for a while. The piercing and tattoo part has always been something I liked. I guess it just goes along with the leather kink. (I like leather so much that I stop just short of getting turned on by cows.)

Hernia is abdominal pain caused by exertion, correct?

I have a lump and some abnormal lower back pain (and there has been no back trauma)

I've had 2 hernias, both surgically repaired long ago. It doesn't have to be caused by undue exertion. If the weakness is there, it can be triggered by something as simple as coughing too hard or moving the wrong way. I can definitely tell you, though, that having one feels exactly like getting kicked in the 'nads. The attendant lump, however, doesn't extend below the pelvic bone.
No prayers from this atheist, but I'm definitely hoping for a 'best-case scenario'. You have a lot of friends here; keep us informed.