You can synchronize clocks either by light or by piece of sh,. It is important that its velocity in different directions would be the same for every observer, if you need "relativity of simultaneity".
It would be a little bit better to consider relativity of simultaneity this way:
To make proper conclusion, at what time certain event will take place in certain place (coordinate) of reference frame, you must to have a clock in that place. Procedure for every observer looks like this thought experiment. An observer in a train and observer on the platform allocate (place) clocks along platform and along the train. For example, any observer can put synchronized clocks in his reference frame every feet. Then each observer synchronizes all clocks in his own reference system by means of Einstein technique, admitting that speed of light in each direction for every inertial frame is the same. Then all clocks in his reference system show the same time, a clock on observer’s wrist and a clock a million miles away from the observer. If event happens in that place one million miles away, now he knows time of event in his frame. Since frames are in relative motion, that leads to so-called relativity of simultaneity. Simultaneous evens in reference frame K will be not simultaneous in reference frame K’. Adjacent clocks of different frames will show different time. This way of thinking puts thoughts in order.
It also quite important to note, that in this case observer in special relativity is not quite a single person, who turns his head and looks by eyes. It is often said, that a team of observers does measurements. Every observer possesses clock and takes readings of other clock (from another reference frame) in immediate vicinity (straight in front of him).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Observer_(special_relativity)
Very good article with very clear definitions:
https://arxiv.org/ftp/physics/papers/0512/0512013.pdf
Important note on time dilation: single clock moves in a reference frame, which is “filled” with synchronized clocks. Single clock dilates, not vice versa.
Please look at “reference frames”, “time dilation”
http://isites.harvard.edu/fs/docs/icb.topic455971.files/l09.pdf
It should be noted, that every observer uses his own reference frame while measures moving clock rate and length of a moving in his reference frame measuring rod. We call this frame "rest frame", since an observer is "at rest" in this frame and other material bodies and clocks move in it.
John is at rest first and Bob moves in his frame. John measures that Bob contracts and dilates.
Then Bob is at rest and John moves in his frame. Bob measures that John contracts and dilates.
Bob shorter than John, John shorter than Bob. This is Special Relativity.
Special relativity claims, that state of proper motion is no different from the state of proper rest. That's why every observer may consider himself being "at rest" and to conduct measurements in his own rest frame.
However, there are other ways to observe relativistic effects without introducing Einsteins measuring technique by means of synchronized clocks (which ADMITS that speed of light in different direction is the same for ever observer. Good to know that nobody has ever measured one way speed of light). For example, you can simply look at a relatively moving lamp. If you look at the lamp at right angle to direction of it’s motion, you will see, that lamp changes color, because for you it oscillates slower due to time dilation. Blue lamp will turn green and green lamp will turn red. This is so - called Transverse Doppler Effect, which has no analogue in classical mechanics.
You can also measure length contraction by photo camera. You can make a picture of moving object and to look how it appears on it. The moving object (measuring rod, or better a moving square) must attach lamps at the ends and to release a flash simultaneously in his reference frame. For example, a square can put a lamp at each corner ABCD. These lamps will flash simultaneously, if the flashes are synchronized by means of a beam from the center.
I mean center of the square is in the origin and the square is in xz plane.
By magnitude of distortions you can evaluate relativistic contraction. Side BC will be gamma times shorter than AB.