What are some of the funniest things said on PF?

[BoulderHead]

I think there was a list once.

I do not recall such a thing at all.


Here is something I noticed. Scroll down a post and look at Mr. Parson’s username;
https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=12163

Now compare and contrast the above with the name of Confutatis;
https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=15294

Do you see it? I have not seen this with any other x-member’s username. My guess is that Confutatis had it done by special request. I must confess when I saw this shortly after it was first changed I was absolutely sick with envy, lol. Confutatis went out like a man, even having his username altered in the process. That’s a class act to follow as it shows style, real style!

Well, the best I can now hope for now is imitation because nothing has come to mind to top that. Be it known, therefore, I [no longer] secretly would like to be banned. Being banned would go a long way towards making me feel as if I were a part of history; I might even adopt a martyr complex. I’ve tried certain measures to have this happen but the best I could get was someone telling me to behave. I feel like a patient on life support who can't even get a friend to kindly pull the damn plug. It’s, it’s humiliating!

 

[franznietzsche]

If Mr RObin parsons was blocked, then why does he still have a user profile?

And what's the thing with confutatis? I don't see it...

 

[honestrosewater]

But I thought you were an evil genius. I think that's an entirely different category, and subject to special rules.

Congratulations, you are now my nemesis.

BoulderHead, you are a part of PF history. No one will ever figure out what two Deities you are named after. It will drive us crazy. Then you can reveal it on your deathbed just like in Citizen Kane...rosebud...

 

[BoulderHead]

If Mr RObin parsons was blocked, then why does he still have a user profile?

And what's the thing with confutatis? I don't see it...

The difference is his name is smaller and less bold than Mr. P’s. The norm for banned members would seem to be putting their user name in a thinner font. Witness Gandalf;
https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=234

Mr. P. was supposedly banned (though the typeface has not changed), but Confutatis simply quit, which is why I suspect he requested his username to be ‘fixed’. Confusion ensues when members don’t get to see a list of the ousted and/or when procedures are not applied consistently, which is why on more than one occasion I have expressed desire for having it made public knowledge. Following that, I’d like to see the actual event televised so I can eat my bread while watching the circus.

Even Mr. Bill seems to have been banned;
https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=2040

Poor Mr. Bill, he(?) Treated me nice the best I recall.

[deit]
the thin, little usernames look delightful. I want one!

 

[BoulderHead]

BoulderHead, you are a part of PF history. No one will ever figure out what two Deities you are named after. It will drive us crazy. Then you can reveal it on your deathbed just like in Citizen Kane...rosebud...

I heard story rosebud was the name he gave her genitals, hmmm, boulderHEAD. Do not fret about the name, it may come to you in a dream.

 

[franznietzsche]

I heard story rosebud was the name he gave her genitals, hmmm, boulderHEAD. Do not fret about the name, it may come to you in a dream.

Actually rosebud was Hearst called his mistress's genitals. In the movie it was the name of Kane's childhood sled. Of course, Hearst was none too happy about all this...

 

[jimmy p]

I remember the good ol' days. Who else was banned? David Ben Ariel. That dude was a scream. Seriously.

 

[Artman]

Actually rosebud was Hearst called his mistress's genitals. In the movie it was the name of Kane's childhood sled. Of course, Hearst was none too happy about all this...

People that name genitals are just wierd. (Looking down) Isn't that right Blinky?

 

[Nereid]

Hey, can we have some more members 'funniest hits'? I thought honestrosewater's (start of this thread) was great!

 

[quantumdude]

You can be banned for being a genius? Surely that's just professional jelousy.

They all thought so.

Yes, 'pottery magician' was a truly inspired coining.

Yes, and right around that same time in the Feedback Forum, Moonbear came up with "mental diarrhea" when we were discussing the new Philosophy Forums Guidelines.

Infact I can't remeber anyone ever being banned from physics forums.

Really? It happens fairly frequently! Except now we have a lot of temporary (21 day) bans, that are dished out via the warning system.

 

[jcsd]

Really? It happens fairly frequently! Except now we have a lot of temporary (21 day) bans, that are dished out via the warning system.

I think it's 'cos you don't annouunce that you've banned them plus physicsforums is aalot more tolerant than other forums, but despite being here I'd guess for about two years I couldn't rember anyone ever being banned once.

 

[BobG]

The question was about a comet's hyperbolic orbit. Only, the question was very poorly asked (you shouldn't rely on the title to pass critical info, for one thing). At least one 'helpful' person completely missed what was being asked - his answer was ... well, very strange. He never went back and reread the original question, setting up a very humorous back and forth with neither person having the slightest clue what the other was talking about. Eventually, the thread originator just couldn't take it anymore.

the particles follow geodesics in spacetime---the spacetime created by the massive central body, the black hole. approximately the same paths as photons of light
if you think about it in an open-minded fashion, I believe you will come to the conclusion that the maximum radial velocity (what you asked about in your question) is c {speed of light}

italicized brackets mine

What the balls are you talking about? There is no black hole here and this problem has nothing to do with relativity AT ALL. There are no speeds even close to c anywhere in this problem. Please stop saying retarded things in my thread.

In fact, just about everyone had trouble figuring out what was being asked. I don't know if we finally figured out and answered his question or if he just decided we all must be on drugs.

 

[Moonbear]

Yes, and right around that same time in the Feedback Forum, Moonbear came up with "mental diarrhea" when we were discussing the new Philosophy Forums Guidelines.

Oh, I can't take credit for that one. I heard it somewhere else before using it here (I think it was originally used by an English instructor of mine years ago, but am not sure anymore). I was just the one to share that gem with PF.

 

[Evo]

Infact I can't remeber anyone ever being banned from physics forums.

I think the reason people don't realize how many people get banned is because the majority of the people that are banned aren't very memorable. They're not likely to be missed. Kind of like a cold sore. There are exceptions, of course.

chroot & Tom Mattson have come up with some of the funniest one liners I've read. I wish there was some way to find them!

 

[quantumdude]

Here's a good'un from PF2.

Saint: Do you prefer cats or dogs?

Boulderhead: Oh, I'd eat either one in a pinch.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I grabbed this one a long time ago. I think it was Hurkyl...

But I simply refuse to consider myself of the same species as those disgusting hairless hominids!

Now give me that banana!

 

[Ivan Seeking]

One of my all time favorites, from Artman.
"'I want to sit with the rich dummies.' Quote from my brother following a dinner discussion on the nature of light".

 

[BoulderHead]

I grabbed this one a long time ago. I think it was Hurkyl...

Huh, how soon they forget!

Just for that, try this on for size;
http://www.moviesoundscentral.com/sounds/tombstone/association.wav

 

[franznietzsche]

Huh, how soon they forget!

Just for that, try this on for size;
http://www.moviesoundscentral.com/sounds/tombstone/association.wav

That was by far Val Kilmer's (and kurt russell's, and anyone else who was in there) best movie. It was just great. And Kilmer's Doc Holiday--Godly. Love it. Just love it.

"I'm your huckleberry."

 

[honestrosewater]

This one is fresh.

The brain is not a homogenous pudding.

mmm... homogenous pudding...

 

[honestrosewater]

Another one hot off the press:

Bah, why do English letters have to always look the same

 

[honestrosewater]

Tom Edit:Mattson,
what kind of cleaner does one use on their "personal mental toilet"?

 

[BoulderHead]

what kind of cleaner does one use on their "personal mental toilet"?

Clean it? If nobody else goes potty there, what makes you think it would need cleaning?

 

[tribdog]

not to toot my own horn, but since nobody else is, one of my favorite lines was from a long long time ago.
someone: the Pentagon isn't square
me: I know the pentagon isn't square, it's octagonal.

 

[the number 42]

not to toot my own horn, but since nobody else is, one of my favorite lines was from a long long time ago.
someone: the Pentagon isn't square
me: I know the pentagon isn't square, it's octagonal.

I'd be careful about tooting your own horn on a public forum, dude.

One of the funniest things I can recall is:

I'm not joking at all about this, it is very sad, but I would imagine my friends as [a deck of playing] cards.

Thanks for pointing out that this is not one of your jokes. It's hard to tell with you sometimes. That's why I make my jokes funny, it distinguishes them from normal conversation. You should try it sometimes...

... And as if that wasn't enough...

...As far as your friends being cards, that's how I always pictured you. Square and flat and can't tell your top from your bottom.

Good one!

 

[quantumdude]

Tom Edit:Mattson,
what kind of cleaner does one use on their "personal mental toilet"?

A special sanitary cocktail: 1 part logic, 1 part evidence, and 1 part common sense.

And if one doesn't see to one's personal mental toilet, then a Mentor has to clean it.

 

[Moonbear]

I just found another tribdog gem over in the book reviews!

5)It is written like a textbook, only without the drama.

 

[Les Sleeth]

A recent comment to Selfadjoint in a philosophy thread:

"It seems some of the other patrons in here take you seriously, but seriously I thought you were a high school kid copying and pasting things in here. You may have read some books in your life and you seem like you have a decent vocabulary but you are rather odd."

 

[The_Professional]

SelfAdjoint's the bomb diggity. But that comment made me laugh neverthless

 

[BoulderHead]

A recent comment by selfAdjoint in a philosophy thread:

Conspiracy theory. Protocols of the Elders of Physicalism!

 

[Les Sleeth]

A recent comment by selfAdjoint in a philosophy thread:

Conspiracy theory. Protocols of the Elders of Physicalism!

I consider this akin to harassment. Besides, he was finally confessing.

 

[the number 42]

Apart from most of Russ Watters' contributions, Dave's Tragic Life - Tell us what you know was one of the most funny and disturbing things I've seen on PF in a while. Any chance of a revival?

 

[Evo]

Dave's Tragic Life - Tell us what you know was one of the most funny and disturbing things I've seen on PF in a while. Any chance of a revival?

It's been added to the classics sticky. Hopefully the story will continue, they can't leave us hanging this way!

 

[Les Sleeth]

A recent comment to Selfadjoint in a philosophy thread:

"It seems some of the other patrons in here take you seriously, but seriously I thought you were a high school kid copying and pasting things in here. You may have read some books in your life and you seem like you have a decent vocabulary but you are rather odd."

In case anyone didn't realize who I was poking fun at, it was the poster (i.e., not selfAdjoint) who may have slightly underestimated SA's intellectual ability.

 

[The_Professional]

In case anyone didn't realize who I was poking fun at, it was the poster (i.e., not selfAdjoint) who may have slightly underestimated SA's intellectual ability.

I know

(wont let me post less than 10 letters!)