What are the 9 words women use that can drive men crazy?

[Evo]

I saw this and it's pretty close to the truth.

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response, refer to #3.

 

[chroot]

*Yawn* Another email forward applauding women for being obtuse and controlling. Lovely.

- Warren

 

[Evo]

*Yawn* Another email forward applauding women for being obtuse and controlling. Lovely.

- Warren

I stole it from someone's journal. Phhttbbtttt

 

[berkeman]

This is too funny. I've only seen the version of this from a man's perspective. The phrases are the same, but the explanations are a bit different. Wonder if I can dig up the male perspective version of the list somewhere for a juxtaposition... little help here?

 

[Evo]

What's funny, is that I actually use most of those expressions exactly that way.

 

[moose]

A common compound is 5-1-8.

Loud sigh - Fine - Whatever.

 

[Smurf]

this is stupid.

 

[Moonbear]

Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

I've certainly heard that one before. One of my long-time friends is really bad about that. I used to have to translate to her boyfriends all the time that "nothing" didn't mean "nothing," it meant, "If you can't figure it out for yourself, I'm not going to help explain it to you." Needless to say, none of those boyfriends lasted long.

A common compound is 5-1-8.

Loud sigh - Fine - Whatever.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Remember the magic words guys:
You're right, I'm wrong, I'm slime.

Anything else is just a waste of time.

 

[Moonbear]

Remember the magic words guys:
You're right, I'm wrong, I'm slime.

Anything else is just a waste of time.

Hmm...Zenmaster hasn't tried that combination, but I did yell at him once for saying, "I'm sorry" one too many times, so you all can give up on that one being a guaranteed "get out of jail free card."

 

[Evo]

this is stupid.

Fine...whatever.

 

[berkeman]

Fine...whatever.

Uh-oh. Run for cover!

 

[ranger]

I can't find the thread with the words and how males interpret them. Anyone know the thread title or can find it?

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

You (they) left out this one:

You decide: I'll override.

 

[K.J.Healey]

Here's what I hear as a male:
1. Fine: "I disapprove, but since I know I can't say "no" I'll say "fine" dissapprovingly that way you feel guilt about doing something I don't approve of."
2. Five Minutes: Means "Some time in the future because I'm selfish and don't consider that other people have things to do and don't want to wait around for me. But if I say 20 minutes they'll get mad and/or leave without me, so I'll lie instead, and avoid confrontation. If they do say something I'll just get mad at them for complaining and nagging, or start crying about not having anything to wear. Either works."
3. Nothing: "By being unclear, and knowing that you KNOW its not 'nothing' I can get you to pressure me to find out what that 'nothing' really is, thus making you be the catalyst that allows me to complain for a good hour about something I've been dying to complain about. Its YOUR fault that I complained, not mine :)"
4. Go Ahead: "Do it. This allows me to at the same time be mad that you don't do what I wish, and to be happy that you're an independent person that won't do everything I ask. This is good, I want both."
5. Loud Sigh: "I need those around me to realize how frustrated/upset I am, and how bad I have it, and how much better off everyone else is compared to me. "
6. That's Okay: "I'm to proud to forgive you outright, so I'll do it in a condescending way that shows I'm better than you."
7. Thanks: "I didn't need your help."
8. Whatever: "You can't expect me to admit I'm wrong, so whatever."
9. Don't worry about it, I got it: "Look how much you need me. You'd be helpless without me and your life would be a complete mess. You probably don't appreciate me either, I mean, you never take me out anymore and we never do the things I want to do. I don't know why I do this stuff for you; you don't deserve it. But I do it anyway. That makes me a good person, right? right?"


I'm not as bitter as I sound :) But sometimes women are so transparent, they don't even realize it. Maybe I just have a good grasp on the psyche of my women friends.

 

[BobG]

Here's what I hear as a male:
1. Fine: "I disapprove, but since I know I can't say "no" I'll say "fine" dissapprovingly that way you feel guilt about doing something I don't approve of."
2. Five Minutes: Means "Some time in the future because I'm selfish and don't consider that other people have things to do and don't want to wait around for me. But if I say 20 minutes they'll get mad and/or leave without me, so I'll lie instead, and avoid confrontation. If they do say something I'll just get mad at them for complaining and nagging, or start crying about not having anything to wear. Either works."
3. Nothing: "By being unclear, and knowing that you KNOW its not 'nothing' I can get you to pressure me to find out what that 'nothing' really is, thus making you be the catalyst that allows me to complain for a good hour about something I've been dying to complain about. Its YOUR fault that I complained, not mine :)"
4. Go Ahead: "Do it. This allows me to at the same time be mad that you don't do what I wish, and to be happy that you're an independent person that won't do everything I ask. This is good, I want both."
5. Loud Sigh: "I need those around me to realize how frustrated/upset I am, and how bad I have it, and how much better off everyone else is compared to me. "
6. That's Okay: "I'm to proud to forgive you outright, so I'll do it in a condescending way that shows I'm better than you."
7. Thanks: "I didn't need your help."
8. Whatever: "You can't expect me to admit I'm wrong, so whatever."
9. Don't worry about it, I got it: "Look how much you need me. You'd be helpless without me and your life would be a complete mess. You probably don't appreciate me either, I mean, you never take me out anymore and we never do the things I want to do. I don't know why I do this stuff for you; you don't deserve it. But I do it anyway. That makes me a good person, right? right?"


I'm not as bitter as I sound :) But sometimes women are so transparent, they don't even realize it. Maybe I just have a good grasp on the psyche of my women friends.

You must be a lot better listener than me. Here's what I think when I hear those things said:
1. Fine: "Yes!" (I won an argument for a change)
2. Five Minutes: "Yes!" (I'll be able to watch the entire game!)
3. Nothing: "Yes!" (I was almost worried.)
4. Go Ahead: "Yes!" (I was going to do it anyway, but now I'm not in trouble for it.)
5. Loud Sigh: "Yes!" (She thinks I'm sexy when I do that.)
6. That's Okay: "Yes!" (I'd have a heck of a time fixing it now anyway.)
7. Thanks: "Yes!" (I did something right for a change)
8. Whatever: "Yes!" (We can finally stop arguing about it)
9. Don't worry about it, I got it: "Yes!" (I didn't want to do it anyway.)
10. Do you ever listen to me?" "Yes!" (I should buy a winch)

 

[Schrodinger's Dog]

Try taking women literally, it might not get you anywhere but feigning ignorance is a fine way to get what she really means out of her, if not just say fine you're right honey I'll get my coat and retire.

Roughly translated this means I don't want to be in the blast vicinity when you go off

 

[mbrmbrg]

Then there's this milk commercial that sums things up pretty nicely.

 

[Schrodinger's Dog]

is that accurate?

Well suffice to say never mention it in conversation, just ask if your lady wants more milk with her Weetabix?

Seriously though it is a game that's hard to figure out, and there are no rules- just well... hope that you will at some point make the right move, because there is just no means to know how and when you are right absolutely, it's a head scratcher; just hope you marry the woman you can figure out vaguely and vice a versa. :!) The rest no doubt is coming to terms with a rule system both of you can figure out :/

 

[mbrmbrg]

is that accurate?

Well suffice to say never mention it in conversation, just ask if your lady wants more milk with her Weetabix?

Tip: Calcium may or may not help, but chocolate causes an immediate release of endorphins.

 

[Schrodinger's Dog]

Tip: Calcium may or may not help, but chocolate causes an immediate release of endorphins.

Ah yes thanks for the advice *Notes chocolate in his diary* Food to tame the savage beast, got you

I'm guessing milk chocolate will work double? Yes/No?

 

[mbrmbrg]

You'd think... But best bet is to ask that woman in your life what kind of chocolate she likes when she's feeling down. If she loves dark chocolate and can only just tolerate milk chocolate, you giving her a bar of milk chocolate ain't going to cheer her up as much as you thought it might.

 

[K.J.Healey]

Just squish some hershey bar around a calcium pill and feed it to her. She'll never know the difference!

 

[Gokul43201]

Nine words women don't use: "When I said 'nine words' I really meant 'nineteen'."

 

[Argentum Vulpes]

Uh-oh. Run for cover!

Or call in the bomb squad. And by bomb squad I mean http://www.godiva.com/catalog/product.aspx?id=1347&SE_Section=Shop&SE_Category=89, or http://www.godiva.com/catalog/product.aspx?id=1348&SE_Section=Shop&SE_Category=89, or http://www.godiva.com/catalog/product.aspx?id=1348&SE_Section=Shop&SE_Category=89, and if you really screwed up get http://www.godiva.com/catalog/product.aspx?id=1345&SE_Section=Shop&SE_Category=89.

 

[moe darklight]

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response, refer to #3.

this is why divorce rates are so high:

9 WORDS MEN USE

1. Fine: Fine (man is saying it is fine)

2. Five Minutes: Five minutes (man chooses short form of 300 seconds)

3. Nothing: man feels no words are needed to enhance the quality of the situation being presently experienced

4. Go Ahead: Go ahead (man is saying it is acceptable to engage or continue to engage in act being discussed)

5. Loud Sigh: man is tired

6. That's Okay: That's Okay (man is implying subject or situation being presently discussed is acceptable as is)

7. Thanks: Thanks (man is thanking you)

8. Whatever: Whatever (man is implying current topic of conversation is unimportant and/or that it would be more interesting to change to a different topic)

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Don't worry about it (man thinks you should not worry about it)

 

[Mk]

9 WORDS MEN USE

1. Fine: Fine (man is saying it is fine)

2. Five Minutes: Five minutes (man chooses short form of 300 seconds)

3. Nothing: man feels no words are needed to enhance the quality of the situation being presently experienced

4. Go Ahead: Go ahead (man is saying it is acceptable to engage or continue to engage in act being discussed)

5. Loud Sigh: man is tired

6. That's Okay: That's Okay (man is implying subject or situation being presently discussed is acceptable as is)

7. Thanks: Thanks (man is thanking you)

8. Whatever: Whatever (man is implying current topic of conversation is unimportant and/or that it would be more interesting to change to a different topic)

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Don't worry about it (man thinks you should not worry about it)

Hahaha, I thought that this was funny.

 

[ranger]

this is why divorce rates are so high:

9 WORDS MEN USE

1. Fine: Fine (man is saying it is fine)

2. Five Minutes: Five minutes (man chooses short form of 300 seconds)

3. Nothing: man feels no words are needed to enhance the quality of the situation being presently experienced

4. Go Ahead: Go ahead (man is saying it is acceptable to engage or continue to engage in act being discussed)

5. Loud Sigh: man is tired

6. That's Okay: That's Okay (man is implying subject or situation being presently discussed is acceptable as is)

7. Thanks: Thanks (man is thanking you)

8. Whatever: Whatever (man is implying current topic of conversation is unimportant and/or that it would be more interesting to change to a different topic)

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Don't worry about it (man thinks you should not worry about it)

haha. Words should always have their literal meanings. The way women use them confuses the sh*t out of me.

 

[Evo]

this is why divorce rates are so high:

9 WORDS MEN USE

1. Fine: Fine (man is saying it is fine)

2. Five Minutes: Five minutes (man chooses short form of 300 seconds)

3. Nothing: man feels no words are needed to enhance the quality of the situation being presently experienced

4. Go Ahead: Go ahead (man is saying it is acceptable to engage or continue to engage in act being discussed)

5. Loud Sigh: man is tired

6. That's Okay: That's Okay (man is implying subject or situation being presently discussed is acceptable as is)

7. Thanks: Thanks (man is thanking you)

8. Whatever: Whatever (man is implying current topic of conversation is unimportant and/or that it would be more interesting to change to a different topic)

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Don't worry about it (man thinks you should not worry about it)

Now THAT'S funny.

 

[radou]

Hell, no. When my dad says "five minutes", it means an hour.

 

[Smurf]

Hell, no. When my dad says "five minutes", it means an hour.

Now now, Radou, there's something your parents haven't been telling you about your 'father'.

 

[radou]

Now now, Radou, there's something your parents haven't been telling you about your 'father'.

Oh so thaaat's the reason why I've seen him wear a skirt occasionally?!

 

[Mk]

Oh so thaaat's the reason why I've seen him wear a skirt occasionally?!

Hey, don't make fun of the Scots!

 

[radou]

Hey, don't make fun of the Scots!

Every skirt is not a kilt.