What do girls/women look for in men?

[Topher925]

And Cristo, if you see a guy like in that picture I posted who has four popped collars and don't think he's a douche bag, then no offense, but you need to get out more.

 

[cristo]

Why are my assumptions so outlandish? I see a guy clearly treating his girlfriend like crap out in public which would lead me to believe it would happen anywhere and probably on a regular basis. I also see this frequently, by no means is it an odd occurrence like you have stated. You are correct in saying that I don't have all the background information for MOST cases but I do have it for a few. I also know many guys who would never treat a girlfriend like crap but they are all single and have been for a while. Based on this evidence, what would make my statement illogical?

Are you really listening to what you're saying here? You see a guy tell his gf to shut up in a library, and not only extrapolate that to implying that he treats her like crap all the time, but that she likes it. You also say that this happens often: well, perhaps the people that frequent that library are like that, or perhaps they just like working in silence, but you can't say that thusly every girl likes to be treated like crap.

And to add a little bit more to my argument, female friends of mine agree with me and suggest that if I want a girl to like me, I should treat her poorly. This may not be the best course of action for a long-term serious relationship, but in terms of getting a date I believe it will work in most cases.

To be honest, that says something about your female friends. This sort of attitude may work if you're young, and of course you may only be 15 or 16 years old, but it is not true of girls, in general, who are adults.

And Cristo, if you see a guy like in that picture I posted who has four popped collars and don't think he's a douche bag, then no offense, but you need to get out more.

No doubt that he looks stupid, but again, extrapolating that to saying he treats girls badly is nonsensical.

 

[DaveC426913]

Seriously, Topher, this is telling us a lot about you.

One thing I've learned - and one thing one can ONLY learn as one ages - is that everything appears obvious and black & white when you're young. Everything is easy to judge. Only as you get older do you realize how incedibly grey everything really is. And you look back on your youth (or someone else's inexperience) and realize how small their world is that everything seems so clear cut.

Unfortunately, there's no way of explaining this to someone. The phrase "You don't know what you don't know." is apt - but is lost on them.

 

[Topher925]

Only as you get older do you realize how incedibly grey everything really is. And you look back on your youth (or someone else's inexperience) and realize how small their world is that everything seems so clear cut.

Maybe that's it. I'm only 22 which I think to be fairly young and inexperienced. The majority of this behavior I witness in people around my age, never really over 30 but that's probably because I don't hang out with many people over the age of 30. In my experience, which yes is limited, I have really only witnessed this specific type of behavior so I have no evidence to convince me other wise. Many of my peers agree with my stance on this which further reinforces my hypothesis. Maybe when I get older I will see that I am wrong but as of right now, nice guys finish last.

 

[DaveC426913]

Maybe that's it. I'm only 22 which I think to be fairly young and inexperienced. The majority of this behavior I witness in people around my age, never really over 30 but that's probably because I don't hang out with many people over the age of 30. In my experience, which yes is limited, I have really only witnessed this specific type of behavior so I have no evidence to convince me other wise. Many of my peers agree with my stance on this which further reinforces my hypothesis. Maybe when I get older I will see that I am wrong but as of right now, nice guys finish last.

I suggest that perhaps you are looking at the wrong type of girl. If you took an objective cross-section of your school/grade, I'll bet you'd find that the type of girls you're concentrating on represents less than 10% of the population. I'll bet 90% of the girls are not cheerleader material, and I'll bet half of those are going completely under your radar.

Whenever I've watched a movie set in Elizabethan times, friends would always talk about how they'd love to live in those giant mansions, riding horses and going to the opera. They would completely miss the fact that they're only looking at he upper crust. 90% of the population lived in squalor. but they don't make movies about them...

 

[FrancisZ]

And Cristo, if you see a guy like in that picture I posted who has four popped collars and don't think he's a douche bag, then no offense, but you need to get out more.

Somehow this immediately comes to mind...

http://screenrant.com/images/awesome-kirk.jpg

Shatner! You don't need a collar to look totally conceited.

 

[Selfhelp]

The personality of a person is the main thing for attracting girls/women, It also plays an important role in the career and personal life.

 

[Moonbear]

Why are my assumptions so outlandish? I see a guy clearly treating his girlfriend like crap out in public which would lead me to believe it would happen anywhere and probably on a regular basis. I also see this frequently, by no means is it an odd occurrence like you have stated. You are correct in saying that I don't have all the background information for MOST cases but I do have it for a few. I also know many guys who would never treat a girlfriend like crap but they are all single and have been for a while. Based on this evidence, what would make my statement illogical?

And to add a little bit more to my argument, female friends of mine agree with me and suggest that if I want a girl to like me, I should treat her poorly. This may not be the best course of action for a long-term serious relationship, but in terms of getting a date I believe it will work in most cases.

So, by your logic, all married men are obnoxious jerks? Afterall, if you think that women only want the jerks and would discard the nice guys, and all the nice guys are left single, then that must mean the ones getting married are all the lowlifes of the earth.

I really don't know where you hang out or who with, but if this is all you're seeing, then you REALLY need to broaden your circle of acquaintances.

Layered, popped shirt collars? Are you stuck in the 80s? If someone is still wearing that look, it doesn't mean they're a jerk, it means their style is hopelessly stuck in the past...or maybe they're homeless and wearing all their shirts so nobody steals them.

It sounds more like you might just be jealous of the guys who have the guts to actually ASK a woman out on a date. That's really all there is to it. The guys with the confidence to ask women out go on a lot of dates, whether they work out or not. The guys who sit around whining about all the jerks getting dates while they fester in their jealousy rather than just growing a pair and asking the women out will remain single. It's not the nice guys being left out, it's the wimps who would rather whine than take action.

Are you really listening to what you're saying here? You see a guy tell his gf to shut up in a library, and not only extrapolate that to implying that he treats her like crap all the time, but that she likes it. You also say that this happens often: well, perhaps the people that frequent that library are like that, or perhaps they just like working in silence, but you can't say that thusly every girl likes to be treated like crap.

I don't know how you'd even know they were boyfriend and girlfriend if you just saw them in a library. They could have been brother and sister bickering, or she could have been some annoying classmate he really DIDN'T want to talk to, or they might have been assigned to some team project for a class and really couldn't stand each other but were just putting up with one another to get the project done.

And, even if they were dating, there's the assumption that she won't dump him like a hot potato later that day.