- #526
zoobyshoe
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?What do you do if you wake up in a perpendicular universe where your favorite website is suddenly some sort of cyber-billboard?
?What do you do if you wake up in a perpendicular universe where your favorite website is suddenly some sort of cyber-billboard?Originally posted by phoenixthoth what do you do if you're debra messing and you have no ass?
Originally posted by phoenixthoth
what do you do if someone answers a "what do you do if" question with "?"?
Learn to spell, properly, and keep the Faith!Originally posted by Andy
What do you do if you don't beleive?
Find out for yourself that sometimes you just have to admit you were wrong, and go on living...Originally posted by MSI
what do you do if you know that you will die the next week?
Realize that you are on a "comedy page"!Originally posted by physicskid
What do you do if you find yourself in a rubbish dump with all sorts of rotten stuff?
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Realize that you are on a "comedy page"!
What do you do if you live in a rubbish dump on the belief that "Ones man's trash is another man's treasure", and you are still waiting for that 'man" to show up??
Give yourself up for adoption..Originally posted by physicskid
What do you do if your mom threaten you with a knife to marry a beggar?
Ans: Don't answer them.What do you do if people keep asking psychologically un-balanced questions?
SpreadEagle and FLY!Originally posted by physicskid
What do you do if you woke out and found yourself plunging down a 5km high cliff?
Start singing "Me, and my Shadow"!Originally posted by Andy
What do you do if you where like a fish and when you ****, it was longer than your entire body and you couldn't shake it off?
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if you have gone off quietly, and died, with a minimal fuss?
You know, it's funny you should ask that question because once, back before optics were understood as they are today, there was a young man who ws very bored at 6:26 AM and couldn't wait for the sun to fully rise so he could examine the palm of his hand under a magnifying glass. Some think he was about to debunk the whole arena of palm reading, others that he was on the verge of discovering everyone's fingerprints are unique, others thought he was just going to burn himself. A large crowd gathered, impatiently awaiting the results of the experiment. When at last he raised the magnifying glass to his eye and looked through it at his palm, he said: "I spent 20 minutes composing a fascinating and byzantine response to Mr. Robin Parson's last question, but before I could post it, someone jumped in with a bit of fluff they had carelessly tossed off, and now I got nothin'."What do you do if, while you're crawling on all fours toward a gutter or ditch you frequent in your spare time you find an envelope addressed to Mr. Robin Parsons, and, upon holding it up to the sun you can read through the paper to see that it is a request from the CIA that he stop sending them doctored photographs showing the current Prime Minister of Canada peering out of the corner sixth floor window of the Texas School Book Depository holding a Mannlicher Carbine rifle?Originally posted by one_raven What do you do if you find yourself so utterly bored at 6:26 AM that you not only read, but actually respond to this thread?
Blackmail him to cover the hefty fee they charge at the Betty Ford Clinic.What do you do if, while you're crawling on all fours toward a gutter or ditch you frequent...Mannlicher Carbine rifle?
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
You know, it's funny you should ask that question because once, back before optics were understood as they are today, there was a young man who ws very bored at 6:26 AM and couldn't wait for the sun to fully rise so he could examine the palm of his hand under a magnifying glass. Some think he was about to debunk the whole arena of palm reading, others that he was on the verge of discovering everyone's fingerprints are unique, others thought he was just going to burn himself. A large crowd gathered, impatiently awaiting the results of the experiment. When at last he raised the magnifying glass to his eye and looked through it at his palm, he said: "I spent 20 minutes composing a fascinating and byzantine response to Mr. Robin Parson's last question, but before I could post it, someone jumped in with a bit of fluff they had carelessly tossed off, and now I got nothin'."
Consider the following course of action a person in that situation might take: he might crawl on all fours toward the closet where he keeps a large store of theatrical costumes, and select his tried and true, historically accurate, Leo Slizzard costume. Having donned it he might then fly to Princeton, N.J., USA, and wander the campus muttering to himself "I must find Professor Einstein and warn him." This would be a very entertaining time killer indeed. Then, when the bored and careless respondent has gone off line, he could then sit and compose a long, creative response, in the hope that someone will respond in kind.Originally posted by one_raven What do you do if THAT happens?
Stop and ask him where did he get that exquisite outfit, and who tailored it to fit sooooooooo well for him! (and NO! you don't get NO chocolate!)Originally posted by the Assitant to the Prime Minister of Canada (HUH?? what??) Zoo-by-shoe-d
What do you do if, while dressed up as Forest Gump you go out and sit at a bus stop with a box of chocolates, but instead of being joined on the bench by a little old lady you are joined on the bench by Mr. Robin Parsons dressed up as a little old lady?
What you do is pull your mind together and realize that he seems to be speaking your words because he is you, you are he, the walrus is Paul, and Mr. Robin Parsons is simply one of the many alter egos invented by the Prime Minister during his years of suffering from muliple personality disorder.What do you do if, when crawling on all fours from your tent toward the Prime Minister's palace to take your rightful place as leader of Canada, now that your personality confusion has cleared up, you suddenly remember that the last time you left the palace a few years before, you forgot to unplug your little water heater that you used to make tea in the second floor office?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons What do you do if you keep writing the Prime Minster of Canada, not only does he never respond, but you see him on television, and you hear him speaking something you wrote to him, presenting it to the press, as if it were his own work!?
Call my aide, blame them, and have them F-I-R-E-D for it!Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if, when crawling on all fours from your tent toward the Prime Minister's palace to take your rightful place as leader of Canada, now that your personality confusion has cleared up, you suddenly remember that the last time you left the palace a few years before, you forgot to unplug your little water heater that you used to make tea in the second floor office?
Clearly you have a major power to put words in people's mouths. Therefore, write an essay containing the line "Send all your money to Mr. Robin Parsons", cede the copywrite, and deliver it to the very same above politicians. Soon the line will be repeated all over Canada.Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons What do you do if you cede copyright in a piece of writing entitled "Qualifieing Quantifiable Democray" to the Prime Minster of Canada, this particular piece of writting involves the referendum, (and the calculable math involved in that) soon to be held in Quebec as to cede it from the rest of Canada, is now before the Supreme Court of Canada, as they decide the legalities of the proposed referendum, your words are holding to the logic of mathematics as it pertains to the outcome of referendum voting, the piece makes it certain and clear that the operative need is for a "Clear Majority", (based upon proper mathematical accounting of persons voting) and, after the Court rules, all you hear in the news, for days, weeks, months on end are your words being repeated, over, and over again, "Clear Majority" "Clear Majority" "Clear Majority" "Clear Majority" "Clear Majority", what do you do?
P.S. the names have not been changed, as to protect the innocent!
Hope that this 'policy' winds up having the same effect as their past policy efforts at getting all Canadians to paint their cars Pink! (so that they could tell everyone that they all lived in a Pink Carnation)Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if recent solar flares cause a widespread outbreak of bad posture leading the Canadian Government to replace the phrase "Clear Majority" with the phrase "Hunchbacked Majority"?
It would become vital to kidnap him and subject him to sodium pentathol interrogation given the importance of the state of Romanian floors, and indeed all horizontal planes in Romania, to the continued well being of humanity.Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons What do you do if you find yourself following zoobyshoe around, for a day in his life, and you find out that he is actually the Assitant Undersecretary to the "Chief of Statistical Infloormation" at the bureau of "Past/Present/Futur Floors" in Romania?
Thats Jerry! I know him, Ya, that's exactly what he said to me last week, he's such a joker, he had actually placed some sort of "carcass" looking thing, that really did resemble your 'Prez' slightly, (he musta done a pretty good job come to think of it, it really did look a bit like that guy on TV) but he was a rollin on the floor laughing his buttocks off as he saw me standing at the back of my truck looking in, so I knews he was "just a joking" so I shot that 'gimic' into the crusher, and watched it squish that pile of rubbish into the smallest little thing you ever did see...Humm, come to think of it, anyone seen President Bush around...lately?Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if, while bringing a truckload of refuse to the local landfill, you are waiting in line and the man in the truck behind you gets out of his vehicle, startles you by rapping on your window, and says "Did you know you have President Bush in the back of your truck?"
Recall how much better everything was in "The Good old days"Originally posted by phoenixthoth
what do you do if you're in a worse situation?
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Recall how much better everything was in "The Good old days"
What do you do if your an amnesiac, and cannot remember "The good old days"??
I spent the day on the phone calling people for advice about this problem: two auto mechanics, three machinists, five welders, and one professor of medieval history. They're thinking it over. In the meantime grab the person by the nose with the pliers and hold them until this issue is resolved.What do you do if, as a member of an FBI swat team, you burst into Phoenixthoth's garage to find him whipping up a batch of C4, only to have him throw his hands up in surrender saying "I wasn't going to use it for evil! I wasn't going to use it for evil!"?Originally posted by phoenixthoth what do you do if instead of a pair of pliers and a blowtorch, you just have a pair of pliers?
Both at the same time = End of Story!Originally posted by phoenixthoth
what do you do if when you're in a similar situation and after killing your doppleganger, are about use his explosives, and another version of you working for the fbi shows up? would you get the hint or would you (meaning the new one from the fbi) continue this cycle of violence?
This would be a good opportunity to wash all the floors n Romania.What do you do if a singer of sad songs with a hurdy gurdy and a monkey with a pegleg, comes down your street one day, coasting along in his autogiro, parks outside your house, and knocks on the door asking if you have any spare diesel fuel?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons What do you do if, the stories over?