Does the following thought experiment illustrate your concern?
First, perform this experiment in a remote region of space far from detectable gravitational fields.
Second, *temporarily* forget about special and general relativity. This is a *relatively* simple Newtonian experiment.
Consider two equal masses, say cannon balls. Place between them a large coil spring. Press the balls towards one another compressing the spring tightly and tie with a cord so that the spring remains compressed and motionless. The spring now has a finite potential energy of compression, a quantity equal to the chemical energy lost by your muscles in compressing it.
Now cut the cord. What happens?
The spring expands to full size, and accelerates both balls in opposite directions. When the spring reaches its maximum size, it stops expanding, the acceleration ends, both balls simultaneously separate from the spring to fly in opposite directions at constant speed, and the spring is left quivering, but at rest.
- The duration from the moment the cord was cut to the moment the spring reaches its maximum size is your "acceleration time", and is the *same* for both masses.
- The distance traversed by the balls during their acceleration is your "acceleration distance" and is the same for both balls for an observer at rest with respect to the spring. Since your question is about forces, we need not discuss it further.
- The average force applied by the spring to the ball is the ball's change in momentum divided by the acceleration time. Since the spring applies equal and opposite forces, the changes in momentum of the two balls are likewise equal and opposite.
Now for an observer moving relative to the spring and parallel to the path of the two balls, the observed changes in momentum are the same, the acceleration time is the same, and therefore the magnitude of the average force on each ball (the ratio of these quantities) is unchanged. In other words, the force applied during acceleration to each ball is completely independent of the speed of the spring in the observer's frame of reference.
Now let's restore special relativity. Because (and only because) all motions and forces in this problem are parallel to the direction of the spring, we can continue for now to use the definition of average force as change in momentum divided by acceleration time into the relativistic case. And as with the Newtonian case, the average force of the spring on each ball is unchanged. So, once again, the force applied during acceleration to each ball is always equal and opposite and *
completely independent* of the speed of the spring in the observer's frame of reference. This is the point upon which I believe you have been in doubt.