What is the International Standard for Quantifying Funk?

[Hornbein]

The only criterion for judgement of funk is whether it makes you wanna dance. To this end I propose an international standard for quantification of funk. Give Up The Funk is hereby considered the benchmark by which all funk is measured. It is assigned the quantity of one Funk. If some other piece induces half as much dance urge, then it is rated one half a funk, or 50 centifunks (50 cF), or 500 millifunks (500 mF). In actual practice millifunks are the most popular units, possibly because of the evocative nature of the mF abbreviation. So it is more commonly said that Give Up The Funk has a rating of one thousand mF.

Controversy remains over whether peak funk (PFunk) ratings should be preferred, but I think that's ridiculous. Dance isn't a peak thing. The highest peak rating yet measured is the intro to Flashlight at an awesome 1839 pmF. But they couldn't keep it up. That's the challenge. Keepin' it going. Five minutes is a long time in Funkworld.

The proper measure should be very simple. Such is the median value after the first five minutes. The result damps out peak ratings, arguably giving it an advantage over the otherwise similar but overly complex total funk integral. The median usually occurs halfway through (2:30), which makes it particularly easy to estimate without elaborate equipment.

It is true that music with high peak funk can be useful for reviving the near dead and other important applications. But that's not dance. What you really want is something that "just won't quit."

Honors to Jerome "Bigfoot" Brailey for the trap drums on Give Up The Funk. I could dance to that all night. And to the late Bernie Worrell for the Flashlight Minimoog. Peak funk has its value. As the man said, "Try staying still when the bass kicks in."

 

[pinball1970]

The only criterion for judgement of funk is whether it makes you wanna dance. To this end I propose an international standard for quantification of funk. Give Up The Funk is hereby considered the benchmark by which all funk is measured. It is assigned the quantity of one Funk. If some other piece induces half as much dance urge, then it is rated one half a funk, or 50 centifunks (50 cF), or 500 millifunks (500 mF). In actual practice millifunks are the most popular units, possibly because of the evocative nature of the mF abbreviation. So it is more commonly said that Give Up The Funk has a rating of one thousand mF.

Controversy remains over whether peak funk (PFunk) ratings should be preferred, but I think that's ridiculous. Dance isn't a peak thing. The highest peak rating yet measured is the intro to Flashlight at an awesome 1839 pmF. But they couldn't keep it up. That's the challenge. Keepin' it going. Five minutes is a long time in Funkworld.

The proper measure should be very simple. Such is the median value after the first five minutes. The result damps out peak ratings, arguably giving it an advantage over the otherwise similar but overly complex total funk integral. The median usually occurs halfway through (2:30), which makes it particularly easy to estimate without elaborate equipment.

It is true that music with high peak funk can be useful for reviving the near dead and other important applications. But that's not dance. What you really want is something that "just won't quit."

Honors to Jerome "Bigfoot" Brailey for the trap drums on Give Up The Funk. I could dance to that all night. And to the late Bernie Worrell for the Flashlight Minimoog. Peak funk has its value. As the man said, "Try staying still when the bass kicks in."

For me its all about rhythm, I am biased though as I am drummer!

You can rock, snare on two and four, bass drum on one , three-and, stick in a quaver on the snare before the three you go funk!

Take it away DEEE, straight rock rhythm until 2.45

 

[BWV]

No, there is a stringent two-part test that must be met:
A) does it have soul?
B) is it superbad?

 

[pinball1970]

No, there is a stringent two-part test that must be met:
A) does it have soul?
B) is it superbad?

Ok I have read your post and considered your position.

I think point A is not as strong the B claim, we would have to define, bad, super bad and the general form of "Badness," of course.
This is super bad, they have "Funk" in their name, they have soul BUT this track to me is rock/Blues rock.

 

[BWV]

Ok I have read your post and considered your position.

I think point A is not as strong the B claim, we would have to define, bad, super bad and the general form of "Badness," of course.
This is super bad, they have "Funk" in their name, they have soul BUT this track to me is rock/Blues rock.

but Grand Funk Railroad was neither grand, funky, nor a railroad...

 

[pinball1970]

This is funk but it is Jazz funk.

 

[pinball1970]

Stevie Wonder, this is not bad, it's "badass" that's a product of bad and...well you're pf and can see factors, no need to spell it out.

A rock beat though. My initial claim falls to the ground, I'll take the hit, the truth is more important.

 

[pinball1970]

Last Stevie with another straight rock beat, some shuffle on the hi hats.

 

[pinball1970]

Oh ok I found the concert I went to in 2008, It would be cool as hell to say this was the best part of the show.
Unfortunately I decided to go to the bar and missed 70-80% of the track.
He must have played something I didn't like and I took that chance, that window.
I was disappointed.
Anyway everyone is dancing to I wish so danceable should be a factor.

 

[Hornbein]

Stevie Wonder, this is not bad, it's "badass" that's a product of bad and...well you're pf and can see factors, no need to spell it out.

A rock beat though. My initial claim falls to the ground, I'll take the hit, the truth is more important.

I used to play bass in a black band in Roxbury, 1973. The band included Delmar Brown. He called Stevie Wonder "the church sound" because of the emphasis on the one and suggested I play more like that. Delmar didn't sing back then. He went on to a successful career but somehow never made it big. Gotta have that hit record.

 

[Hornbein]

Oh ok I found the concert I went to in 2008, It would be cool as hell to say this was the best part of the show.
Unfortunately I decided to go to the bar and missed 70-80% of the track.
He must have played something I didn't like and I took that chance, that window.
I was disappointed.
Anyway everyone is dancing to I wish so danceable should be a factor.

Drummer Stanley Randolph is really good and the heart of the groove. I'm most impressed by people who can make simple stuff sound great because they got The Feeling. I'd give this 800 mF.

I saw Stevie in 1985 or something, it was pretty damn good.

 

[Hornbein]

Was/Not Was -- Walk The Dinosaur

Ratings above 1 Funk are always controversial, but nevertheless I give this 1200 mF.

I bet that's Marcus Miller on ebass.

 

[Hornbein]

I give this the coveted rating of one Funk.

 

[symbolipoint]

The only criterion for judgement of funk is whether it makes you wanna dance.

That's a tough thing to match. Funk music could be just one kind among other kinds which may make someone want to dance. Then again, Funk may make one individual want to dance but may make another individual want to do something entirely different than to dance.

 

[Hornbein]

That's a tough thing to match. Funk music could be just one kind among other kinds which may make someone want to dance. Then again, Funk may make one individual want to dance but may make another individual want to do something entirely different than to dance.

It's pretty easy to distinguish funk grooves from polka and such.

Other here-unnamed activities may also fall under the auspices of the Academy of Funk.

 

[DennisN]

A somewhat slow song, but ultragroovy...

The Meters - Just Kissed My Baby
(categorized as Funk/Bayou Funk/Soul on Discogs)

 

[sbrothy]

The only criterion for judgement of funk is whether it makes you wanna dance. To this end I propose an international standard for quantification of funk. Give Up The Funk is hereby considered the benchmark by which all funk is measured. It is assigned the quantity of one Funk. If some other piece induces half as much dance urge, then it is rated one half a funk, or 50 centifunks (50 cF), or 500 millifunks (500 mF). In actual practice millifunks are the most popular units, possibly because of the evocative nature of the mF abbreviation. So it is more commonly said that Give Up The Funk has a rating of one thousand mF.

Controversy remains over whether peak funk (PFunk) ratings should be preferred, but I think that's ridiculous. Dance isn't a peak thing. The highest peak rating yet measured is the intro to Flashlight at an awesome 1839 pmF. But they couldn't keep it up. That's the challenge. Keepin' it going. Five minutes is a long time in Funkworld.

The proper measure should be very simple. Such is the median value after the first five minutes. The result damps out peak ratings, arguably giving it an advantage over the otherwise similar but overly complex total funk integral. The median usually occurs halfway through (2:30), which makes it particularly easy to estimate without elaborate equipment.

It is true that music with high peak funk can be useful for reviving the near dead and other important applications. But that's not dance. What you really want is something that "just won't quit."

Honors to Jerome "Bigfoot" Brailey for the trap drums on Give Up The Funk. I could dance to that all night. And to the late Bernie Worrell for the Flashlight Minimoog. Peak funk has its value. As the man said, "Try staying still when the bass kicks in."

A little like beauty is measured in "milli-Helen" (after Helen of Troy, how many ships would you employ for her?), and evil is measured in "kilo-nazis"?

Incidentally, I have a "friend", let's call him Peter, who would be livid when I added the rule that inebriation could be measured in milli-Peters, as us, normal people, could never reach one "full Peter"...

Sorry, carry on.

 

[Vanadium 50]

That's a tough thing to match.

I agree. One of the funkiest songs ever was Quincy Jones' The Streetbeater. It doesn't make me want to dance. But it does make me want to dress up like Bootsy Collins.

 

[Hornbein]

This is funk but it is Jazz funk.

This was popular in Roxbury (black Boston) when I was there. I'd give it about 300 mF, which is pretty darn good. The drummer was the star but died very young.

There are many covers. I'd give Candy Dulfer 500 mF.

Also worthy of note is the Phil Collins Big Band version. Maybe 50mF but has some amazing solos.

 

[Hornbein]

I agree. One of the funkiest songs ever was Quincy Jones' The Streetbeater. It doesn't make me want to dance. But it does make me want to dress up like Bootsy Collins.

Oh that is nice. It is though a bit derivative of Cold Sweat. I'm pretty sure that's Bootsy and Catfish. The best band James ever had. They quit because of low pay.



900 mF!