Where do Babies Come From? A Scientific Explanation for Curious Kids

  • Thread starter lisab
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In summary: All of them are speaking.In summary, this creeped out the author, and she has mixed feelings about it. She thinks that if fathers try to take home someone else's date, it's not okay. She does not see anything wrong with the dancing contest show or family functions. There is a line that should not be crossed, but she doesn't think it's being crossed here.
  • #71
GeorginaS said:
I can teach kids about sex and love and responsibility and respect and how those things are all tied together without walking them through it personally
No, you can instruct. That's intellectual. What about the actual guidance / hand-holding part of learning?
 
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  • #72
MotoH said:
You have to teach the kids things before it becomes awkward to do so. Getting the sex talk at 8 years old was a lot easier then at 14.

Okay, granted, I don't have children of my own, so maybe it's more difficult to have those conversations with your own kids because -- perhaps -- you're not comfortable perceiving them as sexual beings. Which, I totally understand that. For me, though, I don't have the least bit of problem discussing the mechanics of sex or relationships in age-appropriate ways with kids. I'd have no more problem with an 8 year-old than 14. And those are two different discussions, anyway, and you'd likely need to have both.
 
  • #73
DaveC426913 said:
You got it twice? What? Like a refresher?

The 14 one was more of a "don't get a girl pregnant or you'll end up paying for it" and the all important "if she is needy and you dump her, she will say you either raped her, or her child is yours."

Which are words to live by in my opinion.
 
  • #74
DaveC426913 said:
No, you can instruct. That's intellectual. What about the actual guidance / hand-holding part of learning?

So, are you then suggesting that parents should hand-hold children through dates and dating? That means waiting until they're an appropriate age to date. Because, you know, they already know how to behave around their parents in public places, so you'd have to be role-playing for it to have any use at all and then you've wandered squarely back in squick territory.
 
  • #75
MotoH said:
The 14 one was more of a "don't get a girl pregnant or you'll end up paying for it" and the all important "if she is needy and you dump her, she will say you either raped her, or her child is yours."

Which are words to live by in my opinion.

Good thing they invented paternity testing, huh? That way all you guys won't get stuck with all of those needy girls out there who blame the wrong fellow for her circumstances.
 
  • #76
I should state for the record that I am playing Devil's Advocate.

I do not presonally ascribe to this (especially since I have boys), but I do grant that these people have a valid case to doing this, and I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt.

Mostly because - if and when I decide to take responsbility for my life (or my family's lives) in some fashion - it would sicken me if peers of mine beat me with 'it works for us, it should work for everyone!'
 
  • #77
GeorginaS said:
...I don't have the least bit of problem discussing the mechanics of sex or relationships in age-appropriate ways with kids...
By whose accounting? Yours? Or the parents of the kids?
 
  • #78
You may not have a problem talking about sex, but the people you are talking to most likely will, especially if they are a young teenager.
 
  • #79
My daughter and I never went out on a date, and I turned out all right.
 
  • #80
GeorginaS said:
So, are you then suggesting that parents should hand-hold children through dates and dating? That means waiting until they're an appropriate age to date.
If the parents want their child to be safely able to ride around the block once they're old enough to do so, they have every right to be holding the sissy bar until the kid can ride on his own. Waiting until the kid is old enough to go around block and then trying to teach him is a little late, don't you think?

GeorginaS said:
Because, you know, they already know how to behave around their parents in public places...
Ah, but do they know how to behave when they are not with their parents (or at least practicing as if they weren't)?

Different set of rules.

"Little Annie, do you think it might be time to call it an evening?"
is very different from:
"We are going home now."
 
  • #81
Again, it's the wording that is a really bad idea. That a father figure and small female child should have a "couple on a date" night is just sick. We're not talking about what went on, it's the image this discription brings about. It's wrong. What's wrong with calling it "father/daughter night"? "Daddy Daughter Date Night" with emphasis on being a "couple"?? At the age of 4-10? What is this telling this child?
It's ok to think of daddy as a romantic partner?
 
  • #82
MotoH said:
You may not have a problem talking about sex, but the people you are talking to most likely will, especially if they are a young teenager.

I'm more concerned about whether that 8-year-old child's parents thought it was OK for her to be talking with her about sex.
 
  • #83
DaveC426913 said:
If the parents want their child to be safely able to ride around the block once they're old enough to do so, they have every right to be holding the sissy bar until the kid can ride on his own. Waiting until the kid is old enough to go around block and then trying to teach him is a little late, don't you think?

That's an inane comparison to dating. You aren't riding on the bike on the same seat with the child, are you? Further, you don't sit a four-year-old on a ten speed (do they even make those any more?) when she should still be on a little kid's bike, maybe even with training wheels on it.


DaveC426913 said:
Ah, but do they know how to behave when they are not with their parents (or at least practicing as if they weren't)?

Did you just corner yourself, here? They know full well they are out with their parents, so they are going to behave as they know they should. If they're pretending that their parent is in fact a "date" -- as in a romantic pairing -- then we're right back at squickhood.

And again, I go back to what Evo reiterated about the wording of the ad for the function, which you aren't addressing at all, Dave.

And I'll add, yet again, that 4 - 10 is a wee bit young to be thinking about/addressing how to behave in public with a member of the opposite sex, even for hands-on/teaching opportunity purposes.
 
  • #84
DaveC426913 said:
I'm more concerned about whether that 8-year-old child's parents thought it was OK for her to be talking with her about sex.

Have you never had someone else's kid corner you with questions about life and stuff? Weirdly, people trust me with their kids -- they even will them to me -- so I spend time with other people's children in my care. Kids talk; they ask questions about stuff. I've had some fascinating discussions about ethics with kids. And yes, sometimes the answer is, "I think you should talk to your mom about that."
 
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  • #85
GeorginaS said:
That's an inane comparison to dating. You aren't riding on the bike on the same seat with the child, are you? Further, you don't sit a four-year-old on a ten speed (do they even make those any more?) when she should still be on a little kid's bike, maybe even with training wheels on it.
I just can't believe how judgemental this all is.

Surely the default applies. Responsible people have the right to act how they think best.

Unless you think this site is actually promoting pedophilia, surely you're knee-jerking here.

GeorginaS said:
Did you just corner yourself, here? They know full well they are out with their parents, so they are going to behave as they know they should.
It's not an exam. They're not adversaries! You teach your child to make her bed by doing it with her. You don't assume that the moment you turn you back they'll rebel.


GeorginaS said:
And I'll add, yet again, that 4 - 10 is a wee bit young to be thinking about/addressing how to behave in public with a member of the opposite sex, even for hands-on/teaching opportunity purposes.
I grant that. I also grant that people believe in God even though I don't - and that's OK..
 
  • #86
GeorginaS said:
Have you never had someone else's kid corner you with questions about life and stuff? Weirdly, people trust me with their kids -- they even will them to me -- so I spend time with other people's children in my care. Kids talk they ask questions about stuff. I've had some fascinating discussions about ethics with kids. And yes, sometimes the answer is, "I think you should talk to your mom about that."

OK, well I did say I would be concerned, not that I actually am concerned. :wink:
 
  • #87
DaveC426913 said:
Unless you think this site is actually promoting pedophilia, surely you're knee-jerking here.

I didn't suggest that either. I said -- and Evo said -- their wording is squicky because that what it sounds like they're promoting. Not that we believe it or think that, but they have terrible copy writers, because that's what it sounds like.

P.S. 4 - 10 is still too young to think/talk/play-act dating. Have a tea party, yes. Date, no.


DaveC426913 said:
It's not an exam. They're not adversaries! You teach your child to make her bed by doing it with her. You don't assume that the moment you turn you back they'll rebel.

The range of options available in behaviour choices not related to dating your parents in public places is not limited to rebelling.
 
  • #88
ideasrule said:
That's a big "if". Have you asked your daughter whether she would ever go to the "date night" discussed in this thread? I don't know anything about your family or where you live, but I feel 99% certain the answer will be "no".

That's a big "it depends" If we're talking about now, you're probably right. My daughter at 8 or 9.. might not be such a big deal It's all about context. If I'm at a wedding and I dance with my daughter, it's perfectly acceptable. If her and I go out to a movie or to eat no one calls me a child molester, but if I go to a daddy daughter dance I'm raping my child. I think if they just removed the word "date" from the Ad, this thread wouldn't even exist. If the organizers of this even are a bit dense, we can't go on the assumption that this event is a get together for pedophiles, and I think that's the inferred assumption here.

And let's face it, a lot of little girls do go through that competition phase with mommy around this age, so I could see where a girl around 5-10 who was close with her dad wouldn't have too big of a problem with this, especially if she was competing with mommy or say, a sibling for her dad's attention.

Is that always the case? No it depends on the relationship the dad and daughter have, it depends on how close the family as a whole is. It depends on how old the daughter is, and it depends on how well adjusted she is psychologically.

But I think it's safe to assume the intent here was purely innocent, in any case.
 
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  • #89
GeorginaS said:
I didn't suggest that either. I said -- and Evo said -- their wording is squicky because that what it sounds like they're promoting. Not that we believe it or think that, but they have terrible copy writers, because that's what it sounds like.

P.S. 4 - 10 is still too young to think/talk/play-act dating. Have a tea party, yes. Date, no.

I think that the wording is just an easy focal point. It brings to the fore the uncomfortable undertones that some of us perceive in 'dressing up pretty to go out dancing with daddy' which may be more easily ignored if it weren't being referred to as a 'couple' on a 'date'.


And I do not think that the point of the exercise has much to do with 'date training' as Dave suggests. I think it is only meant to promote closer father and daughter relationships. Calling it a 'date' and the two a 'couple' I believe is just meant to be cute.
 
  • #90
TheStatutoryApe said:
And I do not think that the point of the exercise has much to do with 'date training' as Dave suggests. I think it is only meant to promote closer father and daughter relationships. Calling it a 'date' and the two a 'couple' I believe is just meant to be cute.

This is sort of more where I was going. I don't think its primary function is date-training.
 
  • #91
GeorginaS said:
I didn't suggest that either.
I know. That's why I raised the point. I'm suggesting that your repulsion is really only appropriate if that was what you were thinking.


GeorginaS said:
I said -- and Evo said -- their wording is squicky because that what it sounds like they're promoting. Not that we believe it or think that, but they have terrible copy writers, because that's what it sounds like.
What wording exactly? Where do you think they're misrepresenting anything?

GeorginaS said:
P.S. 4 - 10 is still too young to think/talk/play-act dating. Have a tea party, yes. Date, no.
Well ... OK, some kids like to tea party, some like to dance.


GeorginaS said:
The range of options available in behaviour choices not related to dating your parents in public places is not limited to rebelling.
They would be rebelling if they knew how their parents wished them to behave and they didn't behave that way.
 
  • #92
Evo said:
Again, it's the wording that is a really bad idea. That a father figure and small female child should have a "couple on a date" night is just sick. We're not talking about what went on, it's the image this discription brings about. It's wrong. What's wrong with calling it "father/daughter night"? "Daddy Daughter Date Night" with emphasis on being a "couple"?? At the age of 4-10? What is this telling this child?
It's ok to think of daddy as a romantic partner?
Even as a kid, I thought that "going on a date" with my mom, or my sister "going on a date" with my dad was just a facetious way of saying they're going out and spending some time together.
I'd be more afraid of what it's telling the dad, if the guy is a sicko.
 
  • #93
Borg said:
I don't see the harm unless he tries to take home someone else's date. :-p



:smile:




LOL...!
 
  • #94
parkland said:
:smile:




LOL...!

this is where date training becomes important, learning to "dance with the one who brung ya"
 
  • #95
DaveC426913 said:
I just can't believe how judgemental this all is.

Surely the default applies. Responsible people have the right to act how they think best.

Unless you think this site is actually promoting pedophilia, surely you're knee-jerking here.

Paidofilia is Hellènic for kid-friendship, which it is. Ye mean paiderastia.

I grant that. I also grant that people believe in God even though I don't - and that's OK..

Hah, I fand a http://thepostsearchlight.com/news/2010/feb/16/kiss-and-dance/ after refutare some Georgian's gossip about Peter's testimony of Christ
 
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  • #96
GeorginaS said:
P.S. 4 - 10 is still too young to think/talk/play-act dating. Have a tea party, yes. Date, no.
Eh, at what age is it appropriate?
 
  • #97
Could be I've seen Chinatown too many times, but I think the advertizement for this dance has "CREEPY" written all over it, festooned with a forest of fluttering red flags.
 
  • #98
Actually, pedophilia (paedophilia? I've seen it both ways, not sure which one is right) comes from the ancient Greek for child-love. It isn't sexual, really, but current connotations make it so.
 
  • #99
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  • #100
Oh, great, someone brought in Pedobear...

Did you ever, as a kid, ask your parents "where do babies come from?" You didn't get a real answer. I wonder why?

Because they(parents) don't want them(children) to know!
 
  • #101
Char. Limit said:
Oh, great, someone brought in Pedobear...

Did you ever, as a kid, ask your parents "where do babies come from?" You didn't get a real answer. I wonder why?

Because they(parents) don't want them(children) to know!

I don't understand that. Why hide something like that from a child? It's something that they're eventually going to learn, so why not tell them the truth? Only when you hide it does it become an improper topic. Same deal with showing breasts on TV. Breasts are only taboo because people have MADE them taboo.

I believe the same thing about Santa Clause. Why even lie to a child? Just tell them you bought the gifts and that Santa isn't real. Because it makes it more fun for the child? It's better to lie and give them a little fun, yet make them devastated when they find out it's not true, than to just tell them the truth from the beginning?

Also, I don't get the baby talk crap people do with babies. Just talk to them normally, they don't know you're talking in a cute way, so it's not like they enjoy it more.
 
  • #102
I see that I'm not the only one who thinks this way, although I'm not sure if I want my five-year-old to know about sex.
 
  • #103
Char. Limit said:
Did you ever, as a kid, ask your parents "where do babies come from?" You didn't get a real answer. I wonder why?

Because they(parents) don't want them(children) to know!

My parents bought us this book:
51QxxjRlppL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA240_SH20_OU01_.jpg

The cartoon images of the naked people and sperm are fantastically funny. (If you image-google "where do I come from" you can get to blogs that discuss how this book gave the writer complexes and how the book is more from the man/sperm point of view... with more images from the book, but we always thought it was great.)
 
  • #104
leroyjenkens said:
Also, I don't get the baby talk crap people do with babies. Just talk to them normally, they don't know you're talking in a cute way, so it's not like they enjoy it more.

As a mom to a now seven-month old, I talk to her both ways... and the baby-talk way DOES get a bigger smile. She knows it's a way of being playful (especially if it's being used in "peekaboo" games, which is useful if I'm disappearing out of sight briefly in the process of doing a household chore).
 
  • #105
Oh brother, it's amazing how people can interpret things in a perverted manner.
 

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