Why Do We Act Harshly in Online Discussions?

[TylerH]

You come across threads every once and a while where there is an obviously belligerent poster, who seems to want to shame anyone for anything incorrect they say. I just caught myself doing this at another forum, but, upon realization of the fact I was being a total douche bag, I went back and edited out anything nonfactual. Why is it that people, such as myself, feel a want to do that?

Is there some complex or something that I'm likely to have? Or, am I just a douche bag?

 

[Pengwuino]

Because you're a JERK. I hope you get into a car accident.

JK :P

 

[TylerH]

I was just thinking the same thing...

JK :P

 

[micromass]

I'm also worrying that I might be too mean on forums. Don't know why that is. Sometimes I say things on a forum that I would never dream of saying in real life. I'm not proud of it...

What really gets me mad is people being mean to others on forums. I can act like a real jerk then. Oh yeah, and stupid crackpots, I don't like them either... But I'll try to change.

I don't know why people behave this way. Maybe because we *can*, I mean: being mean doesn't have consequences here. In real life, you would get an angry look or a punch in the face. But here, you're considered funny when you're mean. That's probably it

And yes, the OP should totally die in a car accident!

 

[TylerH]

I also get mad when others are being mean. Particularly mad when it's over grammar or something similar and the victim is obviously not a native speaker, but the aggressor is. The thought of someone's ideas being suppressed because they can't convey them fluently is probably the cause of my dislike, in that case.

But that's not always the cause; I too play the role of aggressor, when confronted with, as you say, "stupid crackpots." I wonder why it is that I care enough to do it though. I spent ~10min looking up facts and checking my words just to make sure my rebuttal was air tight, and for what?

BTW, his exact statement, in a discussion about the death of Bin Laden, which diverged to his motives, which further diverged to the cause of war in general: ''Let's not forget that factor that started the World Wars... Natural Resources." He obnoxiously bolded "Natural Resources."

It's so inconsolably incorrect... I just couldn't help it at first. In light of my provocation, am I still a douche bag? :P

 

[micromass]

I also get mad when others are being mean. Particularly mad when it's over grammar or something similar and the victim is obviously not a native speaker, but the aggressor is. The thought of someone's ideas being suppressed because they can't convey them fluently is probably the cause of my dislike, in that case.

But that's not always the cause; I too play the role of aggressor, when confronted with, as you say, "stupid crackpots." I wonder why it is that I care enough to do it though. I spent ~10min looking up facts and checking my words just to make sure my rebuttal was air tight, and for what?

BTW, his exact statement, in a discussion about the death of Bin Laden, which diverged to his motives, which further diverged to the cause of war in general: ''Let's not forget that factor that started the World Wars... Natural Resources." He obnoxiously bolded "Natural Resources."

It's so inconsolably incorrect... I just couldn't help it at first. In light of my provocation, am I still a douche bag? :P

I think this cartoon is an uncomfortable truth for us forumers...

 

[Dembadon]

It could be a form of catharsis for you. Do you exercise or do anything else that might help you relieve stress?

 

[Pengwuino]

But that's not always the cause; I too play the role of aggressor, when confronted with, as you say, "stupid crackpots." I wonder why it is that I care enough to do it though. I spent ~10min looking up facts and checking my words just to make sure my rebuttal was air tight, and for what?

The reason I get so upset is that these people ( for example physics crackpots) think that they, with 0 formal education and no mathematical understanding, know more and are smarter than hundreds of years worth of scientists. It's basically saying "Hey, you know how you went to school for years or have been working as a professional physicist for decades? Yah, I'm smarter than you despite having just finished my first semester of calculus".

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

There are several physics books with my name in the acknowledgments because I wrote to the author about typos in an earlier edition. The typical reaction when I contact an author is gratitude. When I point out an error on the net I usually meet with the same reaction. Better to have someone correct your errors than to have them hanging out there for all to see. When I correct an error I try to make my own post matter of fact, not mean or insulting to the errorer. When someone corrects one of my errors I'll probably thank them I suppose.

 

[lisab]

I used to come across as harsh, but not intentionally. Too often, after someone necroposts, I read something I wrote a long time ago and think, dang! I didn't mean it to sound like that! It's embarrassing.

It takes a while to get your tone the way you want it. Mine's a work in progress .

 

[narrator]

Why? It's cheap and easy..
Why does one religion say all others are wrong?
Why do creationists and evolutionists each insist the other is wrong?
Why is my view more valid than yours?
Why do the Left and the Right demonize each other?
Tolerance tends to be not much more than tolerance.

But the keyboard gives us an easy opportunity to let our intolerance free, a side of our thinking we perhaps hide even from ourselves. The question is, to what degree is that ok? Without conflicting differences would we be less motivated, individually and collectively? Is controlled conflict like the opposing forces in an engine, which makes it function?

And as one boss said to me a long time ago, if you're not making mistakes, then you can't be working. Similarly, how can we learn if our behavior is always perfect?

 

[Pythagorean]

internet: no facial expressions, no pheromones, no body language, no chance of getting licked for being a wise-guy. Easy to feel brave.

 

[Darken-Sol]

i used to be really mean in real life. bullying, fighting, and very disrespectful. i had issues. i try to live my life properly now. when some one is mean on the internet i just laugh. i know if we were in the same room they would be very respectful.

 

[Grep]

I think this cartoon is an uncomfortable truth for us forumers...

I love that one! If you ever really need help and nobody is answering, just post something totally incorrect with an air of authority. Works almost every time!

I should add that I would never do that on purpose!

I mostly chalk up people being mean to each other on forums (and places like MMOs, FPSs, etc) to this:

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/3/19/

I'd type what it's called, but the f word will just get it censored.

 

[S_Happens]

internet: no facial expressions, no pheromones, no body language, no chance of getting licked for being a wise-guy. Easy to feel brave.

This is it.

It's two fold. People are free to interpret the post as they feel, without the supporting vocalization and nonverbal communication. You don't really know HOW the person said it.

On the other side, the poster is free from physical repurcussions (at least immediate ones). Being banned from the forum is about the extent of the consequences, and that's not likely unless it violates the forum rules. Who cares, the other posters aren't real people anyway.

Edit- This is why it is (seems) more prevalent on the internet. Even face to face, we interpret the communication differently, or have different tolerances of what we would consider to be "mean" or not.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

The internet changes people. I have watched it happen to many, many members over the last eight years; myself included. Consider that I was once accused of being the nicest person at PF. LOL!

Beyond the limitations of text, people get fed up with all of the crap.

 

[SamirS]

I ask myself the opposite question - why are so many people too nice in real life? People tell me I'm too "direct" and too "objective" because if someone tells me about a problem they have I tend to look for a solution.

People get by with spouting so much random nonsense without anyone correcting them because people want to be "nice". I haven't decided yet if that is actually being "nice" (i.e. an act to heighten social acceptance) or basically a subtle form of backstabbing.

 

[UMyronGaines]

Lack of accountability.

 

[Pythagorean]

I ask myself the opposite question - why are so many people too nice in real life? People tell me I'm too "direct" and too "objective" because if someone tells me about a problem they have I tend to look for a solution.

People get by with spouting so much random nonsense without anyone correcting them because people want to be "nice". I haven't decided yet if that is actually being "nice" (i.e. an act to heighten social acceptance) or basically a subtle form of backstabbing.

lighten up man, sheesh. sometimes people just want to talk, they're not looking for a problem-solver. especially the ladies.

 

[Borg]

You come across threads every once and a while where there is an obviously belligerent poster, who seems to want to shame anyone for anything incorrect they say. I just caught myself doing this at another forum, but, upon realization of the fact I was being a total douche bag, I went back and edited out anything nonfactual. Why is it that people, such as myself, feel a want to do that?

Is there some complex or something that I'm likely to have? Or, am I just a douche bag?

My first reaction to a post where someone has posted something dumb is usually not nice either. I find that taking my time to respond usually weeds out bad behavior. I try to treat my posts like work emails - how would I feel if my boss read what I just wrote? If I don't like the answer to that question, I rewrite it or I don't post it.

 

[pallidin]

My first reaction to a post where someone has posted something dumb is usually not nice either. I find that taking my time to respond usually weeds out bad behavior. I try to treat my posts like work emails - how would I feel if my boss read what I just wrote? If I don't like the answer to that question, I rewrite it or I don't post it.

You arrogant, snippy meanie.
Why is it dumb for me to suggest that it was exploding popcorn in the cupboards of the twin towers that caused the collapses.
And what about the rights of those corn kernals? They have feelings too, you know.

Jeeze, your such a douche bag because I am A LOT smarter than you.
In fact, I'm smarter than ANYONE, especially a low-life like YOU.
I'll bet you didn't even know that 2+3=17

You are such a loser. You are ALL losers. I am the only one who is right.
Pay heed to each and every post by me; perhaps your simple, stupid minds might learn something. Though I doubt it you MORONS.

Jeeze, I'm so disgusted that I'm pucking on my keyboard, so I must stop typing.

Later...

"KNOCK, KNOCK"
pallidin: Who is it?
"DELIVERY"
pallidin: For what?
delivery: we have your meds.

 

[Proton Soup]

the truth is that the internet used to be great until AOL and WebTV ruined it. if that hadn't happened, it'd be a much nicer place.

 

[Char. Limit]

They're forums. Anonymity brings out the worst in people, and a forum is one place where you are truly anonymous.

Also, I feel less of a need to care about someone's feelings when they're just an avatar and some words, or even worse when they dare suggest that I am wrong about something.

 

[TylerH]

I should clarify: I don't hesitate to correct people in person; it's not isolated to forums only. The difference is that I'm an a**hole about it on the internet, whereas in person, I leave out personal attacks. eg In person: "Yeah, that seems right, but, [point out logical fallacy here]." or, if in a playful mood, I basically say the internet version, but jokingly. :) On internet: "That's the dumbest thing I've ever read; how could you possible be so stupid? [Completely destroy any false statement they made]."

Which, as before, can still be explained by the lack of expression and threat-of-being-hit-in-the-face on the internet.

 

[GW:2]

.


Lots of "monsters from the id " roaming the internet.





Id


" In Freudian theory, the division of the psyche
that is totally unconscious and serves as the source
of instinctual impulses and demands for immediate
satisfaction of primitive needs. "

http://www.answers.com/topic/id-1





Monsters from the Id


Phrase from the classic Sci-Fi film, "Forbidden Planet."


The long extinct aliens on the planet had built a supermachine
that could project and materialize their thoughts... but instead
of it being their greatest achievement, it was their final destruction.

The unintended consequence was a machine able to project, materialize
and unleash their darkest, cruelest, most primitive and basic instincts...
that roamed the planet unchecked as horrible, destroying "monsters from the id."




.

 

[SpringCreek]

Why is my view more valid than yours?

Them's fightin' words...

I'm following this topic with interest because I just had this experience on another forum. Many professionals frequent that forum and some seem to think that their views are indeed more valid.

I had posted what I thought was a well reasoned argument. The first reply quoted my post in part but with the addition of a [sic] after some minor grammatical error as if that invalidated my entire argument. The poster then took one of my sentences out of context and twisted it so he could then disdainfully disprove the logic of it while completely ignoring the main points of my argument.

So yeah, I wondered why he was being such a jerk. Well, since hostility is a manifestation of fear, I think the professional felt threatened by my argument and lashed out in defense.

But in other cases I think a mean reply is often transference, just as it often is in face to face interactions.

 

[Zantra]

pretty obvious.. no one's going to punch you in the nose or kick you in the nutz on the internet if you say nasty insulting things. I'm betting most of the "highly vocal" folks on the net are actually pretty meek in person.

 

[rootX]

I haven't come across "mean" people either here (only internet place I go to) or in real life.

I believe it takes some self-work (emotional intelligence) to understand people. If you decide to be emotional in response to a small insult that's pretty much closing your mind IMO.

I wouldn't agree that someone can have two personalities such that anonymity make them behave different.

 

[pallidin]

I wouldn't agree that someone can have two personalities such that anonymity make them behave different.

Two? I have seven. And we are all anonymous.

 

[Zantra]

I haven't come across "mean" people either here (only internet place I go to) or in real life.

I wouldn't agree that someone can have two personalities such that anonymity make them behave different.

Hard to believe you've never come across people like that because they are so prevalent...

2 true personalities, no, but anonymity emboldens people to throw aside social graces in a way that would most likely get them into trouble in real life. It's not a different personality' just a revalation about who you truly are.

Of course everyone has different motivations, so ymmv

 

[Ken Natton]

I wouldn't agree that someone can have two personalities such that anonymity make them behave different.

There is another obvious example of people behaving differently with a removal of immediate contact that is much less than that achieved with contact over the internet – I am talking about driving on the public roads. It has, of course, been pointed out before how people are prepared to behave with an aggressiveness and an ignorance of others when behind the wheel of a car that they would never dream of in immediate contact with other people. Contact over the internet amplifies that disattachment several fold and that is a primary cause of some of the very odd behaviour you come across on forums, it seems to me.

To the greatest extent, the fact that we know nothing of each other on forums is actually a positive thing. It is a great leveller and a remover of so many prejudices and other barriers that plague ordinary human contact. And of course, its main advantage is the opportunity it offers to connect with a much wider group of people who share a common interest in whatever it is that is being discussed. But it is a shame that it sometimes tends to the kind of exchange that is likely to be of little interest to anyone other than the actual participants. I for one wouldn’t advocate us all being overly nice to each other, or worse in any way insincere. The whole point of the discussion, it seems to me, is different perspectives and even open disagreement. But it might help to improve the general standard if people always kept in mind that their contribution is likely to have little value if there is no prospect of it being of any interest to third party readers.

 

[Darken-Sol]

i have been thinking about the anonymity thing. i used to telemarket, selling providian gold cards, even sweet old ladies can be pretty rude over the phone. in a verbatim script i had little control in my rebuttles, but occasionally i would just wing it. id ask "is this such and such at...?" then read them their adress. this would usually be followed by silence then a distinct change of tone. it seems the idea that i knew their wherabouts and even their middle name robbed them of the desire to spout profanity and insults.

 

[SamirS]

lighten up man, sheesh. sometimes people just want to talk, they're not looking for a problem-solver. especially the ladies.

Yeah well I have no problems with the ladies. I'll just start correcting them after I got what I want. If she, however, starts talking about her sign, well...

I'm in a relationship that's lasted 11 years so far and I'm rather proud that my girlfriend is much harder to fool than she was before she knew me. If less people would "lighten up" in the face of esoteric babble, more people would actually think about what they say before they say it.

 

[VikFloyd]

I think people are mean on forums because they have low self esteem. I think correcting someone when it comes to having incorrect information is normal but when they keep correcting someone for grammatical errors is annoying. Like this is the internet not a formal English essay that is being sent to a formal environment...

 

[DanP]

You come across threads every once and a while where there is an obviously belligerent poster, who seems to want to shame anyone for anything incorrect they say. I just caught myself doing this at another forum, but, upon realization of the fact I was being a total douche bag, I went back and edited out anything nonfactual. Why is it that people, such as myself, feel a want to do that?

Is there some complex or something that I'm likely to have? Or, am I just a douche bag?

- anonymity
- diffusion of responsibility
- aggressiveness in various forums, this is a important prerequisite, it may be aggressiveness caused by something another person online did, or simply displacement agression.
- in spite of popular belief that humans are nice creatures, we often harbor aggressive and transgressive feelings.
- lack of fear of social rejection (some ppl identify with a virtual group. Others don't give a dime. Their social identity do not resides with the on-line group hence the fear of rejection is in-existent and conformity does not operates at full strength)
- authority has low power against large numbers (more jerks in the system, less power to do anything)
- low relationship with authority (after all, is internet. What they can do to you ? Ban you from a forum? For a punishment to mean anything, it has to be relevant. If you don't care ... well. )

Online behavior is pretty much the resultant of an interaction between authority (or total lack thereof in some cases) and competing impulses present in all of us. To answer you question, I have no freaking idea if you a re a douche bag or a nice person. Nor do I care. What I can say with certainty is that you are human :P