Why people have so many children?

[Choppy]

I've never understood why anyone would chose not to have children, provided they have the means and a partner with whom to raise them. I respect that decision, but I don't understand it.

 

[pallidin]

There is an idea floating around that minorities can increase significant legal change simply by having more of minority population(in the effort to raise it to a majority)
That type of idea works extremely well in a democratic society.

Very disturbing, but totally legal.

 

[rootX]

there is an idea floating around that minorities can increase significant legal change simply by having more of minority population(in the effort to raise it to a majority)
that type of idea works extremely well in a democratic society.

Very disturbing, but totally legal.

bs ²

 

[pallidin]

bs ²

It's a true story. You know that.
Don't call something that's common sense BS.

 

[MotoH]

Just like the Labour party wants more immigration in conservative voting towns to increase the labour party vote.

 

[lisab]

There is an idea floating around that minorities can increase significant legal change simply by having more of minority population(in the effort to raise it to a majority)
That type of idea works extremely well in a democratic society.

Very disturbing, but totally legal.

But, in the US at least, by the second and definitely by the third generation they've totally integrated into mainstream culture.

Some of the most adamant people I know for tough immigration standards are the kids of immigrants, at least among my friends.

 

[rootX]

It's a true story. You know that.
Don't call something that's common sense BS.

Yes, immigrants tend to segregate and promote laws favorable towards them but it is bit more complicated than that. There are far too many variables to consider e.g. their contributions. And, there are differences between different immigrants' generations. A big and complicated topic IMO that is not related to this thread.

 

[leroyjenkens]

I've never understood why anyone would chose not to have children, provided they have the means and a partner with whom to raise them. I respect that decision, but I don't understand it.

Weighing the pros against the cons, it's not even close. I can't see why anyone would choose to have children. I can think of very few pros while on the other hand, I can make a list of cons that doesn't end.

What's not to understand?

 

[MotoH]

Weighing the pros against the cons, it's not even close. I can't see why anyone would choose to have children. I can think of very few pros while on the other hand, I can make a list of cons that doesn't end.

What's not to understand?

I am going to assume you have never had a child. Children aren't the "problems" you think they are.

 

[Kerrie]

Weighing the pros against the cons, it's not even close. I can't see why anyone would choose to have children. I can think of very few pros while on the other hand, I can make a list of cons that doesn't end.

What's not to understand?

Just because you have decided to not have children doesn't mean that it's the best decision for everyone.

 

[Huckleberry]

Having children is also very, very frequently an unintended consequence.

Pregnancy is frequently an unintended consequence. Having children, and raising them, is less unintentional than an unplanned pregnancy.

 

[thack45]

I don't understand why someone in the first world would want more than 1-2 children. Even now, some people prefer to have more than 3 children.

How is it logical that one or two children are acceptable but more than three children are not?

 

[Borg]

How is it logical that one or two children are acceptable but more than three children are not?

Because the Earth has limited resources. If every couple has one or two, the population stays stable or shrinks. More than that and the population grows. Eventually there will be so many people that the Earth will not be able to support them all.

 

[leroyjenkens]

I am going to assume you have never had a child. Children aren't the "problems" you think they are.

I don't have to have a child to see lots of other people raise children, or know how hard of a time my parents had with my sister.

Just because you have decided to not have children doesn't mean that it's the best decision for everyone.

Everyone should do what they want. I never want to tell anyone what to do. But I can express my opinion on the advantages and disadvantages of those choices.
People always say how children are a miracle and a blessing and how wonderful and glorious and whatever else it is. But that's not saying anything. If someone wants to list the advantages of having a child, they'd have to use more quantifiable terms. Even saying it's their "best" decision, isn't saying anything. "Best" is vague and almost always needs to be elaborated on.

 

[GeorginaS]

Pregnancy is frequently an unintended consequence. Having children, and raising them, is less unintentional than an unplanned pregnancy.

You're kidding me, right? You're busting out semantics suggesting that by "having" you meant "raising" children rather than "pregnancy/bearing" children?

So in here

Having a child is a conscious choice, not merely a selfish or subconscious one.

I know a few thirty-something women who had decided earlier in their life to not have children and now are pulling their hair out about finding the right guy to have them with.

(emphasis mine)

you meant "rear" not "bear". If your intended use of language is so precise, maybe you'd like to use that precision when you write so you're clearly understood. Just a suggestion.

 

[GeorginaS]

Because the Earth has limited resources. If every couple has one or two, the population stays stable or shrinks. More than that and the population grows. Eventually there will be so many people that the Earth will not be able to support them all.

Eventually there would be. But! Spiffy new research:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0807085839/?tag=pfamazon01-20

 

[thack45]

Because the Earth has limited resources. If every couple has one or two, the population stays stable or shrinks. More than that and the population grows. Eventually there will be so many people that the Earth will not be able to support them all.

Then wouldn't it be logical to have no children to make up for those among us who aren't aware of this?

 

[quickme]

I want to have more than 5 children
Because I do not want be alone when I am old
I don't want to waste my life for lonely death and fade
I would love to see my next generation
I can stay alive without food, water and shelter, but I can not live in loneliness

 

[Huckleberry]

You're kidding me, right? You're busting out semantics suggesting that by "having" you meant "raising" children rather than "pregnancy/bearing" children?

So in here

(emphasis mine)

you meant "rear" not "bear". If your intended use of language is so precise, maybe you'd like to use that precision when you write so you're clearly understood. Just a suggestion.

I did assume the OP meant the bearing to term and rearing of children in the use of the word 'have'. I thought it was more germane to the topic to discuss children that are a part of the population, rather than ones that died in infancy or were terminated during pregnancy. I'm sorry if I misunderstood the OP's use of the word 'have'.

Unplanned pregnancies may happen frequently as a result of subconscious drives, but at some point bearing a child becomes a conscious choice that is not unintentional. Hopefully you understand why I thought we were applying the word 'have' to different meanings. I was trying to clarify a misunderstanding, not trying to be semantic.

 

[bp_psy]

I can stay alive without food, water and shelter, but I can not live in loneliness

You should go out on the streets, don't eat and drink for a weak and then come and share the result.

 

[Office_Shredder]

You should go out on the streets, don't eat and drink for a weak and then come and share the result.

What? He said he can't stay alive without those things

 

[Jack21222]

What? He said he can't stay alive without those things

He clearly said "can," not "can't."

 

[bp_psy]

What? He said he can't stay alive without those things

Where? Unless i didn't get some form of sarcasms his post says that he can live without food, water and shelter

 

[Kerrie]

I don't have to have a child to see lots of other people raise children, or know how hard of a time my parents had with my sister.

Everyone should do what they want. I never want to tell anyone what to do. But I can express my opinion on the advantages and disadvantages of those choices.
People always say how children are a miracle and a blessing and how wonderful and glorious and whatever else it is. But that's not saying anything. If someone wants to list the advantages of having a child, they'd have to use more quantifiable terms. Even saying it's their "best" decision, isn't saying anything. "Best" is vague and almost always needs to be elaborated on.

Raising your own child and observing someone else are entirely two different experiences. Having been in both situations, raising my children has made me a better person. Many parents who do raise children also go through an amazing transformation of their perspectives that make them a better person. This is certainly something that can happen without having children, but a parent who has the dedication and love to raise a child NEVER regrets it.

Kudos to you that you have decided to not bring children in this world, it's probably for the best for you personally.

 

[Office_Shredder]

Where? Unless i didn't get some form of sarcasms his post says that he can live without food, water and shelter

Wow, I thought it said "cant" in his post. It seemed like a really profound proclamation at the time. Ignore me, I'll crawl away now

 

[rootX]

It is always wonderful and mesmerizing to see how happy a mom gets whenever you ask how her baby is doing and she goes into lengths explaining every single detail including changing diapers. One I encountered had only one baby at that time and were financially stable.

 

[Reshma]

I don't understand why someone in the first world would want more than 1-2 children. Even now, some people prefer to have more than 3 children.

The world population is not uniformly distributed and Asian countries like India, China and the South-east Asian countries comprise roughly 50% of the world's population! In such countries, I think it would be highly stupid to have more than two children (I would say one is enough). Both my parents come from large families but my parents and their siblings chose to have smaller families (1-2 children). But that doesn't seem to be the case with everyone.

But the situation seems different for sparsely populated nations like Australia and Canada and they are forced to rely on immigrants for human resource. Japan is facing a negative population growth with a high aged population. In fact the Japanese government is encouraging couples to have more than 2 children.

 

[leroyjenkens]

Raising your own child and observing someone else are entirely two different experiences. Having been in both situations, raising my children has made me a better person. Many parents who do raise children also go through an amazing transformation of their perspectives that make them a better person.

So one of the advantages of having children is that it makes you a better person. A better person in what ways?

but a parent who has the dedication and love to raise a child NEVER regrets it.

I'm sure a lot of parents in the process of raising children regret ever having the children in the first place. Most won't say it, but I'm sure a lot think that way. The cons of having the child for them is that their entire lives are rearranged. The pros are they may or may not become "better" sometime in the distant future.

 

[rhody]

I think that creating/nurturing/raising children is a great gift and a huge responsibility. That being said, part of me wonders a bit, (one can never truly know what their motivation is) is the case with Jim and Michele Duggar whose family has now grown to 19 children: See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/19_Kids_and_Counting#cite_note-9" and whose kid's names are (see list below), with Michele having been pregnant almost continuously for the last 22 years ! I don't even know where to begin, except to say that she must "like if that is possible, being pregnant, and can handle stress and multi-tasking better than most of us'". Beyond that, I have nooo idea...

1 Joshua James March 3, 1988 (1988-03-03) (age 22)
2 Jana Marie January 12, 1990 (1990-01-12) (age 20) Birth via C-section[18]
3 John-David
4 Jill Michelle May 17, 1991 (1991-05-17) (age 18)
5 Jessa Lauren November 4, 1992 (1992-11-04) (age 17)
6 Jinger Nicole December 21, 1993 (1993-12-21) (age 16)
7 Joseph Garrett January 20, 1995 (1995-01-20) (age 15)
8 Josiah Matthew August 28, 1996 (1996-08-28) (age 13)
9 Joy-Anna October 28, 1997 (1997-10-28) (age 12)
10 Jedidiah Robert December 30, 1998 (1998-12-30) (age 11)
11 Jeremiah Robert
12 Jason Michael April 21, 2000 (2000-04-21) (age 10)
13 James Andrew July 7, 2001 (2001-07-07) (age 8)
14 Justin Samuel November 15, 2002 (2002-11-15) (age 7)
15 Jackson Levi May 23, 2004 (2004-05-23) (age 5) Birth via C-section, featured in a Discovery Health special
16 Johannah Faith October 11, 2005 (2005-10-11) (age 4) Birth featured in a Discovery Health special
17 Jennifer Danielle August 2, 2007 (2007-08-02) (age 2) Birth featured in a Discovery Health special
18 Jordyn-Grace Makiya December 18, 2008(2008-12-18) (1 year 4 months) Birth via C-section, featured in a regular season episode
19 Josie Brooklyn December 10, 2009(2009-12-10) (4 months 16 days) Birth via emergency C-section, featured in a TLC special

Rhody...

 

[Kerrie]

I think that creating/nurturing/raising children is a great gift and a huge responsibility. That being said, part of me wonders a bit, (one can never truly know what their motivation is) is the case with Jim and Michele Duggar whose family has now grown to 19 children: See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/19_Kids_and_Counting#cite_note-9" and whose kid's names are (see list below), with Michele having been pregnant almost continuously for the last 22 years ! I don't even know where to begin, except to say that she must "like if that is possible, being pregnant, and can handle stress and multi-tasking better than most of us'". Beyond that, I have nooo idea...


Rhody...

I think this situation is of course extremely rare, but it has always struck me as a publicity stunt more than anything.

 

[Kerrie]

So one of the advantages of having children is that it makes you a better person. A better person in what ways?

I'm sure a lot of parents in the process of raising children regret ever having the children in the first place. Most won't say it, but I'm sure a lot think that way. The cons of having the child for them is that their entire lives are rearranged. The pros are they may or may not become "better" sometime in the distant future.

Maturity, patience, tolerance, acceptance, compassion.

Those who regret having children are most likely not ready for the responsibility of children. I think you are speaking from a viewpoint of disliking the responsibilities and obligations-which clearly you do not want in this time in your life. Kudos to you for recognizing this, but millions of people in this world obviously think the rewards of raising children is higher than the responsibilities.

 

[rhody]

I think this situation is of course extremely rare, but it has always struck me as a publicity stunt more than anything.

Kerrie,

Are you saying that from the beginning when they had say 5 children that they (husband and or wife) needed attention, recognition, etc... the dynamics of all of this blow my mind, that they hatched a plan like this ? I consider myself practical, rational (at least most of the time, hehe).

According to their wiki page (take that for what it is worth) they are entirely self sufficient, not in major debt. I hope this is the case. I can't imagine a case of (Octo 8 * 2 + 3) parents ! If I had to make a pro/con checklist for having this many children, I can't think of so many things on the plus side that would ever in my wildest dreams convince myself that I could pull it off successfully. It is beyond comprehension...

Rhody...

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

The number of children per couple is a difficult number to work with because a significant percentage of the population forms more than one couple during their child bearing years. It is simpler to consider the number of children per female. It is obvious that an upper limit of 2 children per female for an extended length of time will cause a decline in the population because of the number of women who would have 0 or 1 child.

 

[Kerrie]

Kerrie,

Are you saying that from the beginning when they had say 5 children that they (husband and or wife) needed attention, recognition, etc... the dynamics of all of this blow my mind, that they hatched a plan like this ? I consider myself practical, rational (at least most of the time, hehe).

According to their wiki page (take that for what it is worth) they are entirely self sufficient, not in major debt. I hope this is the case. I can't imagine a case of (Octo 8 * 2 + 3) parents ! If I had to make a pro/con checklist for having this many children, I can't think of so many things in the plus side that would ever in my wildest dreams convince myself that I could pull it off successfully. It is beyond comprehension...

Rhody...

I think it is quite obvious they want attention for their large family. Whether it is monetary, or to just show the world they have a loving, close, religious family, I don't know what the motivation for attention is of course.

At this point I can imagine that there are so many children that are old enough to help out that the *overwhelming* feeling for mom and dad has subsided. I have a 13 year old who is wonderful about helping with my 4 year old, which is why I came to this assumption.

 

[Kerrie]

The number of children per couple is a difficult number to work with because a significant percentage of the population forms more than one couple during their child bearing years. It is simpler to consider the number of children per female. It is obvious that an upper limit of 2 children per female for an extended length of time will cause a decline in the population because of the number of women who would have 0 or 1 child.

Very good point!