Has this ever happened to you? Or am I unique or just stupid?

Has this ever happened to you? Or am I unique or just stupid??

I went to the refridgerator to get myself a drink of soda pop. Unfo rtunately there was no soda. I realized that when I got home from the store I had place the warm 2 liter bottle of Pepsi in the freezer. I opened the freezer and there was the Pepsi, frozen solid. I really wanted a drink so I grabbed my bottle of MAPP Gas and torch tip and proceeded to heat the bottom of the bottle. slowly the Pepsi started to melt. I set the torch down and took a drink, then I set the bottle down on the floor. A few minutes later, when I wanted another drink I reached for the bottle, but it was stuck to the floor. I pulled harder and-with a tearing sound-the bottle came free. I looked down and there on the carpet I saw a round burn mark. I guess the bottom of the bottle was still pretty dang hot when I put it down.
All this happened about ten minutes ago, my girlfriend will be home any second and I have a huge burn in the middle of the carpet. Nice knowing you all. Any suggestions on what I should do?

Putting the soda in the freezer: everyone's done that at least once.

Heating the bottle and having it burn itself to the floor: I think that's all you.

I've put the TV remote in the freezer quite a few times, and burned my foot making popcorn but I've never welded a soda bottle to a carpet. Congratulations!

Njorl

What songs would you like played at your funeral?

Originally posted by tribdog
Any suggestions on what I should do?

Either buy a throw rug or lay in one spot on the floor all evening.

LOL. Now that's comedy- you can't buy a gag like that! Ya I always keep a blowtorch handy... you know in case I get thirsty.

you could glue the pop to the floor, wait until she tries to pick it up, has to pull really hard, and act like she tore the carpet- of course that probably won't work, so I'd just cut off a finger- she'll be so concerned about the finger she'll forget about the rug, and then when it comes up later- feign ignorance.

Barring that, just start making your bed on the couch now.

haha! now that is comic!

unique, yes, stupid.. maybe uniquely stupid A friend of mine, a guy, used to iron sitting on the floor. In doing so, he used to put the hot iron on the floor with only a sheet in between. I told him, don't do that, it will damage your new carpet. Now, the furry carpet in front of the television, is not so furry anymore, rather a melted down version of it.. not that he has stopped his habit.. ofcourse..

I once did a science experiment to heat water in a paper cup in the middle of an otherwise empty pan on an electric stove. It worked. The water boiled without burning the cup. I took the pan, placed it on my parents wooden kitchen table. It left a nice round burn mark right where i put it.

I quickly set the table for breakfast, being sure to place a plate over the burn mark. I didn't even make it to breakfast before my coverup was uncovered.

So I suggest that you tell her the truth: You got thirsty and so you melted a hole in the carpet with a torch. The truth is so weird that she is bound to not believe it, so then you can say, "Okay, I was watching trading Spaces and got inspired to create a new pattern on the rug, how do you like it?" When she says she doesn't like it, get upset and say: "Fine, I'll just leave all the redecorating ideas to you from now on!"

Originally posted by Njorl
I've put the TV remote in the freezer quite a few times, and burned my foot making popcorn but I've never welded a soda bottle to a carpet. Congratulations!

Njorl

How in God's name did you burn your foot making popcorn?

Originally posted by Zantra
LOL. Now that's comedy- you can't buy a gag like that! Ya I always keep a blowtorch handy... you know in case I get thirsty.

you could glue the pop to the floor, wait until she tries to pick it up, has to pull really hard, and act like she tore the carpet- of course that probably won't work, so I'd just cut off a finger- she'll be so concerned about the finger she'll forget about the rug, and then when it comes up later- feign ignorance.

Barring that, just start making your bed on the couch now.

LOL!

Genius, Zantra, pure genius. LOL!

It's 14+ hours since he posted here. Has anyone seen or heard from tribdog? Oh oh...

Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
Either buy a throw rug or lay in one spot on the floor all evening.

I'm with Ivan on this one. Or you could be really radical and do a dot pattern on your carpet with burn marks and say its artistic impressionism.

Just an idea which may or may not apply...

If the carpeting should extend into a closet or some other area which is seldom looked at closely, and depending on other factors as well, such as; the thickness of the padding under the carpet, etc. It might be possible to cut out the damaged area and replace it with a plug taken from another area. If you cut the plug in a way to leave enough material at the edges it might be possible to blend in where it isn't very noticable.

Just a thought.
Good luck.

Somehow I don't think he had enough time for that. He's probably serving out his sentence as we speak

The concept of "freezer-burn" has taken on a whole new meaning --- congratulations.

And that's your evasion/excuse --- just ask the GF if she's never heard of "freezer-burn" --- too bad I didn't see the thread earlier.

Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
Either buy a throw rug or lay in one spot on the floor all evening.

This actually reminds me of an incident that happened when I was very young.

My parents went out and left my sister and I in the care of my 8 year older brother.

My brother was on a baseball team and decided to use the back of the sofa as a back stop for pitching practice. He'd stand across the room and throw the ball at the backrest, which had springs, and it would bounce the ball back to him.

On this particular night his aim was a little high. He missed and put a baseball sized hole in the wall right above the sofa back.

When our parents got home, there we werel, all three of us sitting quietly on the sofa, with my brother's head strategically placed in front of the hole.

The subterfuge lasted for about all of two seconds. (What parents wouldn't know something was up if they came home and found all three of their kids just sitting quietly on the sofa?)

Originally posted by tribdog
All this happened about ten minutes ago, my girlfriend will be home any second and I have a huge burn in the middle of the carpet. Nice knowing you all. Any suggestions on what I should do?

Say it's a variation on the traditional crop circle. Damn those aliens!

I"m still alive, but GF started her period tonight. I've got the hole covered with a rug and I'm going to ignore it for the next five or six days. If I don't make it remember this: I love you all.

Originally posted by tribdog
I"m still alive

Thank GOD! I'll cancel the funeral plans AND the "Tribute to Tribdog" thread plans.

but GF started her period tonight. I've got the hole covered with a rug and I'm going to ignore it for the next five or six days. If I don't make it remember this: I love you all.

Now listen, Boulderheads plan will work but you may have to get started soon and not ignore it for 5-6 days. You'll have to get that piece of carpet looking more like the area it's going to cover. Once you get it cut to size, give it to the dog to play with and carry outside, you know, make it look used/worn...this is assuming the whole carpet isn't pretty new to begin with. Oh god, I didn't think of that! IS it carpet or is it a floor rug? If it's carpet, you're good to go. (If it's a floor rug, go buy her a beautiful new one! That's the only thing that'll save your a$$ in this instance - unless she hated the thing in the first place. Still, fess up first and then let HER choose it. AND admire her taste in floor coverings - a LOT! ) Another thing - you MAY have to clean the carpet (HORRORS!) around the spot first if you don't have a dog to waste the cut out chunk. This might be a good idea anyway, just to make a good impression on her. (OO! OO! - If you do THAT, you could blame it on the carpet cleaning machine! YEAH! That's it! THAT'S the ticket! The carpet cleaning maching did it! - well, it's a thought...)
Another question - do you own your home or rent? If it's your own home, taking a chunk out of the closet is no big deal. If you rent, you'll need to replace the rug in the closet before you more out. Sooner is better, because you'll stand a better chance of matching the carpet at a carpet store now rather than later...
Last question - did she see the problem before she went on the rag? Or are you hiding it until after the Pre- and Post-menstrual symptoms pass? If she's already seen it at 'this' time of the month and you're still alive, she's definitely a KEEPER! Throw the queen of your heart and life a BIG PARTY! But if you're hiding it - I think I'll just put a 'hold' on those funeral and thread plans.
Hang in there buddy. We'll do our best to help you get outta this... But, put the blow torch away! OK?

Originally posted by enigma
Putting the soda in the freezer: everyone's done that at least once.

Heating the bottle and having it burn itself to the floor: I think that's all you.

Heh, yeah, I've made a lot of messes in my freezer, but I can't help you with the carpet thing. Its just too far off.

can I make a suggestion for the future when you become thirsty?

Yes, you can put down the blow torch.

Fill your sink up with some warm water, insert soda bottle, let it thaw.

This way, you can avoid burning your carpet.

Sorry man, I think your all alone on this feat.

I'd also have to agree with tsunami, fess up, be ready to run.

burns

I have been in a sticky situation like that before. I was home alone and don't ask me why, but i decided that it would be fun to light a sheet of paper in my old room. However the flames got out of control and burned my hand so i dropped the flaming sheet. Anyway i put it out with water and what was left was a hard burnt mess on a light coloured carpet. lol. Anyway i got out of the situation by getting a pair of nail scissors and cutting all the burnt ends off the carpet then used carpet cleaner to finish it off. That patch on the carpet is still rock solid burnt but looks normal from a height...well normal enough that my parents haven't noticed and its been a fair few years now heh. On your situation i have to agree with the 'insert carpet here' method. Failing that, act suprised to see it and try blame your girlfriend for it. Its a different and exciting way to end a relationship and/or die horribly but oh well, that's what i would do!

Originally posted by Janus
This actually reminds me of an incident that happened when I was very young.

My parents went out and left my sister and I in the care of my 8 year older brother.

My brother was on a baseball team and decided to use the back of the sofa as a back stop for pitching practice. He'd stand across the room and throw the ball at the backrest, which had springs, and it would bounce the ball back to him.

On this particular night his aim was a little high. He missed and put a baseball sized hole in the wall right above the sofa back.

When our parents got home, there we werel, all three of us sitting quietly on the sofa, with my brother's head strategically placed in front of the hole.

The subterfuge lasted for about all of two seconds. (What parents wouldn't know something was up if they came home and found all three of their kids just sitting quietly on the sofa?)

Classic, Janus.

Somebody stop me before I do some real damage!
I cut off the burnt ends of the carpet, but then I had a 'hole' in the carpet. The original burn was a circle about 1" wide. After cutting it was about 1.5" wide. I tried to feather it so that the sudden length change wouldn't be so noticible. Right now I'm blending a patch of carpet almost 6" across, with no end in sight.

What is underneath the carpet? In Europe we've got antique wood, just rip out the whole thing and tell your GF that you like the look of nostalgia.

Or even better! Fake an anaphilactic shock and tell her that you have got a sudden onset of an allergic reaction you also used to have as a child, to a specific house mite. The only solution is to replace the carpet and clean the whole apartment (nice side effect)!

carpets suck...i had a dog once who loved the taste of my carpet and licked holes in it...i ended up paying about $300 to replace it thanks to my dog...

Originally posted by Kerrie
carpets suck...i had a dog once who loved the taste of my carpet and licked holes in it...i ended up paying about $300 to replace it thanks to my dog...

This could work to your advantage, tribdog. First, you need to get a dog (if you don't already have one), then grind dog treats all over your carpet and let the dog start licking the carpet.

When the dog has finally eaten holes in the carpet, wait until the GF walks in and then say "Naughty dog, you've eaten the carpet!"

This didn't happen to me, but it's good for a laugh:

One VERY windy day one of my friends shows up for an auction (I was there too) looking to purchase some radio tower sections. They are in 10 foot lengths with 3 legs in a triangle shape about a foot apart from each other. He has a pickup truck with the standard 8 foot box. His plan was to install a rack in the front of the box to protect the back window from anything coming through and to use as a rest for the tower sections. Apparently the sections would set down in the back against the tail-gate and ride on top of the rack installed behind the back window. I'm sure you can see this coming. Wind got a hold of the rack and sent it into the back window now making it invulnerable to breakage from radio tower sections. So in a way, I guess it did work.

Originally posted by tribdog
Somebody stop me before I do some real damage!
I cut off the burnt ends of the carpet, but then I had a 'hole' in the carpet. The original burn was a circle about 1" wide. After cutting it was about 1.5" wide. I tried to feather it so that the sudden length change wouldn't be so noticible. Right now I'm blending a patch of carpet almost 6" across, with no end in sight.

Tribdog, I think that you are now in SERIOUSLY DEEP sh*t. You might want to consider calling a carpet restoration oufit. They may be able to save your a$$ (at a considerable price, probably). Or give Boulderheads idea a shot before you do that. You didn't answer my question, tho. Does GF know already or are you still trying to keep this hidden? (and what do you MEAN before you do some real damage? Don't you think that the blow-torched Coke bottle already took care of that? )

godtrip,

One could fashion a pipe from the bottle and blame the scorch on bowl-burn.

Originally posted by me:

Sorry man, I think your all alone on this feat.

Well, I hate it when I'm wrong, but I like to come clean and admit it. I believe this story can even make you feel better:

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=757&e=10&u=/nm/20031013/od_nm/odd_russia_washing_dc

The unnamed Muscovite added a liter of petrol to his washing machine to help dissolve the stain

hehehehehe

I wonder if anyone can top this?

Mega Morons

MEGA MORON #1
A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer?
$15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?]


MEGA MORON #2
A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A F**K-UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent.
Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the banker later put a plaque on the wall engraved "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a f__k-up!"

MEGA MORON #3
Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on video tape.

MEGA MORON #4
As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied "Yes Officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

MEGA MORON #5 and 5 STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle Street, he got much more than he bargained for.
Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motorhome near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

MEGA MORON #6
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5am, flashed a gun and Demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

MEGA MORON #7
Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.


Not sure if these beat ur stories but i have a few more up my sleeve hehe

lol, we have very funny people on this little li'l ol' Earth :P :D

Ya, I saw the video of the guy throwing the brick at the plexiglass. That had to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

I'm still trying to understand what was going through the guys head putting gas on his pants and in the washer.