Meeting of the Families at Genco Olive Oil Co.

[Artman]

In good faith, I've asked the heads of all the families to come here. We have the Moonbear family out of the Westside, the Tribdog Family from out west, the dextercioby family from across the sea, the PolyB family, the mattmns family from the Eastside, and all the other heads of all the other local families. As always the Evo family will be our moderator. So I ask you all to abide by her decisions, or else.

We need to come to a solution to this problem, this thread that has consumed us for so long: this thread killer champions thread.

I consider myself a reasonable man, I know we are all reasonable people here, but how can we be reasonable with a thread that doesn't know when it is dead? We all run our businesses like respectable business people. We do what we need to do, but this thread, this thread don't do that. This thread just goes on and on when this thread needs to die. Excuse my bluntness, but we are are all speaking freely here. And I know that no one will say anything to anyone about what is said here, or else.

I've called on the services of an associate of mine, Luca, to make this thread an offer it can't refuse.

Soon that thread will no longer be a problem.

Thank you all for coming today. By the way, it may be a good idea to stay clear of that thread. Bombs don't hit targets too good.

 

[Moonbear]

*Spoken in best Joisey accent*

Now see here, the Moonbear family takes care of its own. We don't want no interference from dese other families, capiche? We got dis place out in da Pine Barrens we're developing, an' if da thread jus' happens to fall in the cement mixer when we're pourin' the foundation, nobody sees nuttin', capiche?

 

[Artman]

We can negotiate the disposal of the thread, but like I said, the thread is history. Badabing, badaboom. Get it?

 

[Artman]

<figure crosses the room and whispers in Artman's ear.>

Our first package has been delivered. Just a little warning. We wouldn't want any little children hanging around the thread. Dat kinda thing could be bad for business.

 

[Evo]

Artman, have I ever told you I love you? (well, in a friendly, platonic way that your wife shouldn't worry about)

That thread has been dead for a long time, it is painful to watch as members talk to it, play with it, try to make it "look" alive.

Perhaps I should pick a day and time when the thread will lock and die.

Each of you can pm me with a day and time for the thread to die, I will then randomly, chocolate and without looking, money works too select one of those times. This way each of you has a chance of knowing exactly when the thread will die, you just won't know if your time was selected.

Sound acceptable? Any other ideas?

 

[Artman]

have I ever told you I love you? (well, in a friendly, platonic way that your wife shouldn't worry about)

Sounds like you want to be my gun-maw (sp) when we hit the thread. Don't you worry your pretty little head about da missus. She don't ask no questions about da business.


(Don't tell her I said that.)

 

[Moonbear]

Well, it seems the Artman family took care of business. I can only claim to have wandered in and discovered the thread, already lifeless. It's been properly disposed of in a place nobody will ever find.

(As an aside, we're waiting for confirmation from Chroot, but it seems we may have discovered the maximum number of replies for a thread at PF! )

Once we've confirmed the thread is truly dead and stays dead (it is Easter week afterall, miracles have been claimed to have happened before...though if the thread manages to resurrect itself, we'll definitely need Ivan's debunking skills), the families are requested to come together for the reading of its will.

Edit:
Errrr...nevermind. Russ seems to have raised the thread from the dead by a laying on of hands, and then quietly slipped away again.

 

[Integral]

Hit Man For Hire!

I am known as an executioner in some circles. Just give me a sign, ANY SIGN and I can absolutely GUARANTEE (for a small fee!) that that thread will DIE!


Any takers?

 

[Moonbear]

I am known as an executioner in some circles. Just give me a sign, ANY SIGN and I can absolutely GUARANTEE (for a small fee!) that that thread will DIE!


Any takers?

See, this seems to be the problem. We're all eager to do it, but none of the families seem to trust each other enough to let anyone but themself take care of it.

 

[Evo]

I'll bet Integral can make it look like an accident.

 

[Integral]

I'll bet Integral can make it look like an accident.

Who me?? I am trying to figure out all these buttons.. What does this one do..Oh My, not what I was looking for... How about this one humm... not it either.. I'll keep poking around.

 

[Moonbear]

Someone locked the thread-killer thread! Say it ain't so!

Now where am I going to take this BIG box of dark chocolates that I was going to share in that thread?

 

[Integral]

Yeah, isn't terrible what irresponsible button clickers will do

 

[Evo]

Locked? I don't see a lock, do you see a lock integral?

 

[Integral]

Lock? What's locked? The front door is.. my car is... What else could be locked?

 

[Moonbear]

Locked? I don't see a lock, do you see a lock integral?

Well, if you've turned it into a mentors only thread, then I guess I'll just have to keep this REALLY BIG box of dark chocolate all to myself. I was thinking of sending it to Evo, knowing how much she enjoys dark chocolate, but since I can't get into the thread, I have no way to deliver it.

 

[Artman]

It seems somebody had an itchy locking button finger. The thread swims with the fishes and it's hard to swim in concrete shoes.

 

[Moonbear]

It seems somebody had an itchy locking button finger. The thread swims with the fishes and it's hard to swim in concrete shoes.

Never underestimate the value of bribery and collusion among the families. The Evo family and the Moonbear family go way back. Perhaps for the right amount of chocolate, the Moonbear family might have a talk with the Evo family on your behalf, maybe we can even arrange a meeting. No weapons, only one of your people can come with you, and bring the chocolate in small, unmarked bars.

 

[Artman]

Never underestimate the value of bribery and collusion among the families. The Evo family and the Moonbear family go way back. Perhaps for the right amount of chocolate, the Moonbear family might have a talk with the Evo family on your behalf, maybe we can even arrange a meeting. No weapons, only one of your people can come with you, and bring the chocolate in small, unmarked bars.

How about a whole horse's head made of chocolate? My family is good with horse heads.

Guido, Vinni, get on it. Make dis nice lady a horse's head out of chocolate.

 

[Moonbear]

How about a whole horse's head made of chocolate? My family is good with horse heads.

Guido, Vinni, get on it. Make dis nice lady a horse's head out of chocolate.

The Evo family must have been pleased, they released the thread this morning. Ahh, chocolate horses' heads, the nostalgia.

 

[SOS2008]

As a new member of the tribdog family of the southwest, and all-mighty poster of the thread killer thread, I must prove my loyalty and protect our own, our beloved thread. Here we call it "high noon" and there can be only one left standing in this shoot out. I have been called upon to do what I must do...well except that one thing tribdog requested, and well that other thing too...oh yeh and that other request (not meaning any disrespect). I'm not the fastest draw--I don't know any of these fancy buttons, or even how to upload a file, but I'm a callin' you all out.

 

[franznietzsche]

We do not appreciate being left out of this, kafuffle. There will be a price to be paid for this insult.

 

[Artman]

We do not appreciate being left out of this, kafuffle. There will be a price to be paid for this insult.

The Fanznietzsche family is always welcome at family meetings. We would not dream of insulting the Fanznietzsche family.


Who is dis Fanznietzsche family anyway? who do they tink dey are? Guido, check um out.

 

[franznietzsche]

The Fanznietzsche family is always welcome at family meetings. We would not dream of insulting the Fanznietzsche family.


Who is dis Fanznietzsche family anyway? who do they tink dey are? Guido, check um out.

We are not appreciatink your patronizink tone. Perhaps there are some legs that need to be broken, da?

 

[Artman]

<Guido whispers to Godfather Artman>

Guido tells me that the franznietzsche family are a bunch of small time thread killer punks. Guido says that they has killed a few threads, and he also says that they aspire to cut the other families out of the business.

Dis does not sound too friendly.

 

[franznietzsche]

Friendly? Do you think us, friendly? Little zlotnik, we have been in this business for a long time, long before you knew what it was like to kill a little threadski. Da, we are...shall we say, the best. But never would we be cuttink our italian cousins, entirely out of the thread killink business, only out of our threads.

 

[Moonbear]

We are not appreciatink your patronizink tone. Perhaps there are some legs that need to be broken, da?

I prefer just the kneecaps. Give them a limp that they'll remember you by for the rest of their life.

 

[Danger]

If you care to check back over the last couple of pages, t'would appear that I have brought more than my share of these insidious little worms to a premature end. With respect to the families, a free-lancer might be just the answer to your problem. No blood loyalty, totally impartial, and highly effective. My mere presence should ensure its demise. In fact, I can feel it weakening already, just by dint of me thinking about it...

 

[Moonbear]

If you care to check back over the last couple of pages, t'would appear that I have brought more than my share of these insidious little worms to a premature end. With respect to the families, a free-lancer might be just the answer to your problem. No blood loyalty, totally impartial, and highly effective. My mere presence should ensure its demise. In fact, I can feel it weakening already, just by dint of me thinking about it...

Nope, that's just the amateur league. There was another thread killing thread that died very quickly after letting the amateurs use it for a training ground. The thread killer champions thread requires far more skill than your typical thread.

 

[Danger]

Nope, that's just the amateur league.

But you got to admit, I'm pretty persistent for a beginner. Give me time...

 

[Danger]

re: the title of this thread

Couldn't you have held it at the Genco Olive Oil Factory instead, so at least the acronym would be appropriate?

 

[franznietzsche]

But you got to admit, I'm pretty persistent for a beginner. Give me time...

You listen to me you little zlotnik. We are the champions of this business, and it is we who will be killing that thread, and no others. Understand? Or will i have to let Raskolnikov loose on you? Do not make us angry.

 

[hypatia]

walks in ..looks around...wheres the pizza?

 

[Danger]

it is we who will be killing that thread

That thread? You misunderstand, comrade. I'm trying to kill this one.

Where's the pizza?

Would that be with extra bunny?

 

[Moonbear]

Hey, you guys, quiet in the back room, we got a customer.

walks in ..looks around...wheres the pizza?

Any toppings on that?

-------------------------------------------

Now, as for you Mr. Danger, the families have an agreement, see? And we decide together who we let into the family, see? And you got to prove yourself before we let you in, see? You got to start at the bottom, see? We could use a pizza delivery driver, catch my drift?