Finding Solace in Favourite Quotes: Escaping Despair with Words of Wisdom

[Gokul43201]

Like I said before...

Now it's too late to stem the flow of crassitude.

 

[string_theory]

"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
George Burns




I just came across this one recently and really thought it was great (George Burns was such a great comedian).

There are some more serious ones I'm fond of, but I'd have to look them up to get them right.

simply wonderful, thank you for bringing it here...

 

[Smurf]

"Ideas are far more powerfull than guns, we don't let our enemies have guns, why should we let them have Ideas"
-Josef Stalin

"Religion is the opiate of the masses."
-Karl Marx

"If women are expected to do the same work as men, we must teach them the same things as men."
-Plato

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."
-Aristotle

"I am dying with the help of too many physicians."
-Alexander, King of Macedon.

 

[string_theory]

"Religion is the opiate of the masses."

this sucks...

 

[Smurf]

you suck...

 

[Gokul43201]

The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is the day they start making vacuum cleaners. - unknown

 

[string_theory]

you suck...

f... u

I did not say anything to u...

I said to what Marx said.

 

[Smurf]

The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is the day they start making vacuum cleaners. - unknown

I don't get that, weren't vacuum cleaners around before Microsoft??

 

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

I don't get that, weren't vacuum cleaners around before Microsoft??

he is saying that the vacuum won't suck up dirt and stuff, therefore it won't suck, nd it doesn't matter if microsoft was around before or after vacuums

 

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

here is one i like
"tread softly, for you are treading on my dreams"yeats

"some poeple don't see the light until it comes shining through bullet holes"

 

[BoulderHead]

BoulderHead, that is really outrageously gross

Yeah, after the drugs wore off I decided to delete the post...but, here's a couple more from the same animal;


I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming...They don't know I'm only using blanks.
-Emo Phillips

I ran three miles today, finally I said "lady take your purse."
-Emo Phillips

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
-Emo Phillips

 

[jimmy p]

"I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Weggie Kray."

I like that one!

 

[Dagenais]

Here are a few I like from 2 favourite shows, I had quite a bit of trouble choosing:

Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph Wiggum: I'm a boy.
Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.


Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.


"I can't carry a pen. I'm afraid I'll puncture my scrotum."
- George, in "The Parking Garage"


"So you feel 'women and children first' in this day and age is somewhat of an antiquated notion."
"To some degree."
"So, basically, it's every man, woman, child and invalid for themselves."
"In a manner of speaking."
"Well, that's honest."
"She should be commending me for treating everyone like equals."
"Well, perhaps when she's released from the burn center she'll see things more clearly."
- Jerry and George, in "The Fire"


"You don't know my name, do you?"
"Yes I do."
"What is it?"
"It, uh, rhymes with a female body part."
"What is it?"
"Mulva..."
- Dolores and Jerry, in "The Junior Mints"


"We only wake you up for the important meetings."
- Yankee exec, to George, in "The Comeback"

 

[Smurf]

You forgot:
Homer: If at first you don't succeed, cheat until caught, then lie.

 

[ShawnD]

Trying is the first step towards failing.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Why do it now when I can wait until tomorrow? If I wait until later I'll be under pressure. I work better under pressure. - Charley Brown

 

[poolwin2001]

If I have seen less than others, it's because some giant's shoulders were always in the way-anonymous
Orbis Non Sufficit -James bond
"I don't mind coming to work - I just don't want to stay when I get there." Louis H. Albert, Deputy, Summit County, Ohio
P.S.DO you have the feeling that you have seen these somewhere??

 

[Echo 6 Sierra]

I drank what...?

Socrates

 

[Gokul43201]

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
--Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
--Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people,
and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year."
--The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

"But what ... is it good for?"
--Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
--Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
-- Bill Gates, 1981

 

[poolwin2001]

"In almost all textbooks, even the best, this
principle is presented so that it is impossible to
understand." (K. Jacobi Lectures on Dynamics,
1842-1843). I have not chosen to break with
tradition.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Jimmy Carter was on the Charlie Rose Show talking about the book co-authored by he and his wife, Rosalyn Carter, and about their lives together
- called Sharing Good Times.


Quoting Jimmy Carter [approximate]: " We could agree on 97% of what happened but we couldn't agree on the other 3%...and it was an important 3%. It got so bad that it nearly ended the effort. We just couldn't agree on what had happened.

...I was amazed at Rose's defective memory!" [smiles broadly].

 

[fourier jr]

It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.
Woody Allen, Side Effects

There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.
Johann Sebastian Bach

Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.
Anonymous

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the guy next to me.
Woody Allen

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Groucho Marx

I've just developed a proof that demonstrates that, where $$n>2$$, the equation $$a^n+b^n = c^n$$ cannot be solved with integers. Unfortunately, my train is coming.
Graffiti in a subway station

I believe there are 15,747,724,136,275,002,577,605,653,961,181,555,468,044,717,914,527,116,709,366,231,425,076,185,631,031,296 protons in the universe and the same number of electrons.
Arthur Eddington, The Philosophy of Physical Science

Since the mathematicians have invaded the theory of relativity, I do not understand it myself anymore.
Albert Einsten

One can measure the importance of a scientific work by the number of earlier publications rendered superfluous by it.
David Hilbert

I read in the proof sheets of Hardy on Ramanujan: "As someone said, each of the positive integers was one of his personal friends." My reaction was, "I wonder who said that; I wish I had." In the next proof-sheets I read (what now stands), "It was Littlewood who said..."
J. E. Littlewood, A Mathematician's Miscellany

Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men; although he was twice married, it never occurred to him to verify this statement by examining his wives' mouths.
Bertrand Russell, The Impact of Science on Society

You know, what Einstein has just said isn't so stupid.
Wolfgang Pauli commenting Einstein's lecture

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse (1872)

There are no physicists in the hottest parts of hell, because the existence of a "hottest" part implies a temperature difference, and any marginally competent physicist would immediately use this to run a heat engine and make some other part of hell comfortably cool. This is obviously impossible.
Richard Davisson

"Very strange people, physicists - in my experience the ones who aren't dead are in some way very ill."
Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time Of The Soul

All men are mortal. Socrates was mortal. Therefore, all men are Socrates.
Woody Allen

I don't want to be immortal through my work. I want to be immortal through not dying.
Woody Allen

More than any time in history, mankind now faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
Woody Allen

Physics is much too hard for physicists.
David Hilbert (that's the best one on the list)

A Mathematician is a machine for turning coffee into theorems.
Erdös, Paul

... the student skit at Christmas contained a plaintive line: "Give us Master's exams that our faculty can pass, or give s a faculty that can pass our Master's exams."
Halmos, Paul R

In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
von Neumann, Johann

The best material model of a cat is another, or preferably the same, cat.
Rosenblueth, A

Television is something the Russians invented to destroy American education.
Paul Erdos (another good one)

Proof is the idol before whom the pure mathematician tortures himself.
Sir Arthur Eddington

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition.
Alan Turing

Do not lose your faith. A mighty fortress is our mathematics. Mathematics will rise to the challenge, as it always has.
Stan Ulam

It would be very discouraging if somewhere down the line you could ask a computer if the Riemann hypothesis is correct and it said, `Yes, it is true, but you won't be able to understand the proof.'
Graham, Ronald

Whoever despises the high wisdom of mathematics nourishes himself on delusion and will never still the sophistic sciences whose only product is an eternal uproar.
da Vinci, Leonardo

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
Joseph Stalin

I am a passenger on the spaceship, Earth.
R. Buckminster Fuller

Either you repeat the same conventional doctrines everybody is saying, or else you say something true, and it will sound like it's from Neptune
Chomsky

The most effective way to restrict democracy is to transfer decision-making from the public arena to unaccountable institutions: kings and princes, priestly castes, military juntas, party dictatorships, or modern corporations
Chomsky

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since
Salvador Dali

Democratic societies are unfit for the publication of such thunderous revelations as I am in the habit of making
Salvador Dali

The world will admire me. Perhaps I'll be despised and misunderstood, but I'll be a great genius, I'm certain of it
Salvador Dali

There are some days when I think I'm going to die from an overdose of satisfaction
Salvador Dali

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it
Winston Churchill

From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put
Winston Churchill (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

I am always willing to learn. I do not, however, always enjoy being taught
Churchill again

Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love
Einstein

 

[0TheSwerve0]

Journey with me into the mind of a maniac
born to be a killa since I came out the nut sac - Natural Born Killas
- care of loseyourname

 

[0TheSwerve0]

Any Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy quotations
"`You know,' said Arthur, `it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die from asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what mymother told me when I was young.'
`Why, what did she tell you?'
`I don't know, I didn't listen.'"
-- Arthur coping with certain death as best as he could.

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

-- The Book just racapping what happened in the last book.

"`Hand me the rap-rod, Plate Captain.'
The little waiter's eyebrows wandered about his forehead in confusion.
`I beg your pardon, sir?' he said.
`The phone, waiter,' said Zaphod, grabbing it off him. `Shee, you guys are so unhip it's a wonder your bums don't fall off.'"


-- Zaphod discovers that waiters are the least hip people in the Universe.

 

[ek]

"Poker is not about this hand, next hand or the last hand, it is about the future thousands of hands and you must be confident good plays and good players will win out in the end."

That's a quote I made up to calm myself after a horrible player bad beats me in a certain hand.

 

[matthyaouw]

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed."

-Albert Einstein.

 

[Smurf]

It is only one who is thoroughly acquainted with the evils of war that can thoroughly understand the profitable way of carrying it on.
-Sun Tzu, the Art of War
All warfare is based on deception. Hence, when able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must seem inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near. Hold out baits to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him.
-Sun Tzu, the Art of War

(Depends on the translation, but the meaning is more or less the same)

 

[Ivan Seeking]

"Well, I've got this thing with Pioneer," Anderson said.

"I almost fell off my chair," Nieto said.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=2026&ncid=2026&e=10&u=/latimests/20041221/ts_latimes/gravitymayloseitspull

 

[Ivan Seeking]

In fact, I like this one from Anderson even better.

But somehow, the choice one makes affects one’s outlook and direction of attack. If one has to consider new physics one should be open to both points of view. In the unlikely event that there is new physics, one does not want to miss it because one had the wrong mind set.

http://arxiv.org/PS_cache/gr-qc/pdf/0104/0104064.pdf

 

[dextercioby]

ODERINT,DUM METUANT!

Caius Cicero,"Phillipicae",17.

Daniel.


PS.An unofficial translation in English would be:"Let them hate me,but at least fear me!".In Romanian it sounds:"Sa ma urasca,dar sa se teama de mine!".

 

[stoned]

"If you're born in this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. If you're born in America, you're given a front-row seat"
George Carlin.

 

[Mk]

I didn't read everything but I"m sure someone mentioned that a "Your Favorite Quote" thread was posted a few weeks ago.

 

[zanazzi78]

Any Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy quotations
"`You know,' said Arthur, `it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die from asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what mymother told me when I was young.'
`Why, what did she tell you?'
`I don't know, I didn't listen.'"
-- Arthur coping with certain death as best as he could.

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

-- The Book just racapping what happened in the last book.

"`Hand me the rap-rod, Plate Captain.'
The little waiter's eyebrows wandered about his forehead in confusion.
`I beg your pardon, sir?' he said.
`The phone, waiter,' said Zaphod, grabbing it off him. `Shee, you guys are so unhip it's a wonder your bums don't fall off.'"


-- Zaphod discovers that waiters are the least hip people in the Universe.

my favourite Hitchhiker`s quote;

"buttons aren`t toys!"

 

[zanazzi78]

I didn't read everything but I"m sure someone mentioned that a "Your Favorite Quote" thread was posted a few weeks ago.

You are right. In fact this is the 3rd "Favourite quotes! thread i`ve read since joining PF.

I`ve probably posted these before but I`ll subject you all to my sense of humour again;

On the back of a box of matches;
"The hardest thing in life is convice a woman than even a bargin costs money"

Some Oscar Wilde quotes i like:

"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination."

"Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing."

"I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability."

"A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her."

Now for my favourite science quotes:

"Much like a great work of art ,a beatiful equation has among its attributes much more than mere attractiveness - it will have universality, simplicity, inevitablity and an elemental power." - words written by Graham Farmelo in the book It must be Beatufull, Great Equations of Modern Science.

"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us 'universe', a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty." - Einstien

"The measure of a being of a man of my type, lies not in what he thinks and how he thinks but in what he does and suffers." - Einstein

 

[quantumdude]

"Seeing the universe through the eyes of a child is easy. Actually catching a child and removing his eyes, now that's the hard part."
--Can't recall the source, but Another God used it as a sig line.

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. Whey they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
--Frank Sinatra

"Beauty may be only skin deep, but ugly goes all the way down to the bone."
--Billy Connolly

"The jerk store called, they're running out of YOU."
--George Costanza

"I'd rather let 1000 guilty men go free than chase after them."
--Chief Wiggum

"But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown."
--Carl Sagan

"Physics is like sex. Sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why we do it."
--Richard Feynman

"He who laughs last, thinks slowest."
--Seen on a T-shirt

"If you can't laugh at yourself, then can you at least keep quiet while I laugh at you?"
--Tom Mattson