Girl in physics and I hate the attention :[

[HeLiXe]

I did that trick as well Not that it worked, because now I had guys asking what that ring was for.
Of course I couldn't lie, so I'd say it's just a ring, nothing special

THIS is soooo funny!

 

[AUK 1138]

You could always go to class without taking much care in your appearance.
You say you don't like the attention, but I don't believe it. I bet you put make-up on and everything.

I'm sure the OP doesn't have a problem with male attention. Rather, she doesn't want that attention coming from awkward nerds. i have two sisters, they used to put a lot of time into their appearances, it seemed to be the thing all their friends did too. You can't be mad at a woman for being a woman.

 

[Astronuc]

>_> yeahh... I doubt that will work either. What about guys who don't like makeup? Taking care of yourself is a mark of confidence and self esteem, not an invitation for unwanted attention.

Flies, as well as bees, maybe attracted to the same flower.

It's the law of unintended consequences.

 

[Klockan3]

You can't be mad at a woman for being a woman.

You can't be mad at guys for being guys either, asking girls out is just as much a guy thing as looking after your appearance is a girl thing.

What about guys who don't like makeup?

All guys likes makeup, the question is just where they draw the line. All guys likes makeup they don't notice which is why women who are really good at putting on makeup makes it in such a way that it is hard to notice. Then there are these freaks who wear makeup in other ways, that is what some guys don't like.

In a way I think that if she puts on noticeable amounts of makeup she would scare away the nerds, probably the easiest way to do it without scaring away all of the guys.

 

[Astronuc]

I actually don't like make up. I find it unnecessary.

I also really don't like perfumes and colognes. I much prefer natural human scents.

 

[Klockan3]

I actually don't like make up. I find it unnecessary.

Then you are neutral towards the whole appearance thing? I mean, makeup is no miracle worker but you should know that seemingly negligible things can have large impacts on peoples opinions. Just about every female plucks her eyebrows for example, so common that it has become a way to tell the sexes apart.

 

[cronxeh]

Then you are neutral towards the whole appearance thing? I mean, makeup is no miracle worker but you should know that seemingly negligible things can have large impacts on peoples opinions. Just about every female plucks her eyebrows for example, so common that it has become a way to tell the sexes apart.

I hate makeup and certain colognes that women wear. Makes me puke a little inside, more so when I see makeup. Its simply repulsive. Although what I do like about scents is that whenever I smell it again I instantly think about the female I liked before I smelled it, so that's a great thing that offsets anything else

 

[AUK 1138]

You can't be mad at guys for being guys either, asking girls out is just as much a guy thing as looking after your appearance is a girl thing.

true. however, awkwardly attempting to hit on a woman isn't very manly. It's cowardly.

 

[cronxeh]

true. however, awkwardly attempting to hit on a woman isn't very manly. It's cowardly.

You right. The alpha male approach is the best one all around

 

[Monique]

You say you don't like the attention, but I don't believe it. I bet you put make-up on and everything.

Gee, what a male comment to make. And when a woman wears a nice dress, that gives men permission to say anything they want?

Just the other weekend it was hot and I was wearing a dress inside the house, but I needed to go to the store. It was a perfectly fine dress, but I decided it would probably attract attention so I changed into about 4 other dresses until deciding it was not worth the trouble and changed into some jeans. Of course you then still have the men who decide to make a comment that you are wearing jeans in warm weather Does it ever occur to men that you are not out to attract their attention?

 

[baywax]

Current junior in physics at a pretty well ranked university, but our physics department has an 11 to 1 ratio of men to women. I don't feel academically intimidated or opressed or anything but I HATE that I can't ever get along casually with my fellow students. The two girls I see sometimes and myself get along fine, but every single time I try to put together a study group or just hang out in the physics lounge with a few guys, it always turns into this awkward unreciprocated attraction. Literally, without exception so far. Which leads to poor nerdy guys working up to courage to awkwardly ask me out to get a coffee sometime and me gently saying no, but by then the friendship is shot.

This is in no way to be constructed as "Haha, I'm so good looking that everyone wants me!" because just having a pair of breasts seems to do the trick, but come on now. This situation is getting ridiculous. I don't want to date, I don't have time to date, and I am not attracted to any of them. I want a few people I can hang out with, talk about physics, and possibly moan about classes. It's going to be a lonely two years if this keeps up and I'm not looking forward to that :( Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I can feel for ya... but... school is for learning and advancing your knowledge of the subject of your choice. Its not a social club. You can work at Starbucks and have a social club beyond that, what's a few years without 'friends'? You're spending good money... your's, your parents or the government's on your tuition to become something more than a hurried coffee serving drone. I would suggest you enjoy that fact and let the "nerds" and the "smelly fellows" continue in their own fantasy while you smoke em with better grades because your hormones are not dictating your actions... apparently.

 

[baywax]

Gee, what a male comment to make. And when a woman wears a nice dress, that gives men permission to say anything they want?

Just the other weekend it was hot and I was wearing a dress inside the house, but I needed to go to the store. It was a perfectly fine dress, but I decided it would probably attract attention so I changed into about 4 other dresses until deciding it was not worth the trouble and changed into some jeans. Of course you then still have the men who decide to make a comment that you are wearing jeans in warm weather Does it ever occur to men that you are not out to attract their attention?

Monique, if other guys are like me they're just interested because of two things...

1. Women are not men.

2. You have a nice eye.

 

[Monique]

Yeah, there is really nothing that can be done about it

Maybe we should just learn to not be bothered by it ;)

 

[cronxeh]

Rofl i have too much free time

The real nerds when confronted with a female will be something like this:
(contains some vulgar content not suitable for children under 1)

http://imagemacros.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/doing_science.jpg

 

[HeLiXe]

Flies, as well as bees, maybe attracted to the same flower.

It's the law of unintended consequences.

I agree Astronuc AND you put it well, the law of unintended consequences.

 

[Klockan3]

true. however, awkwardly attempting to hit on a woman isn't very manly. It's cowardly.

It is not cowardly, how else would awkward nerds get any girls? By just sitting in a corner reading books?

 

[HeLiXe]

All guys likes makeup

All guys like Dr. Pepper, gin, and salted peanuts.

In a way I think that if she puts on noticeable amounts of makeup she would scare away the nerds, probably the easiest way to do it without scaring away all of the guys.

^^this made me LOL

something like this then...
http://chicstories.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/new-year-make-up.jpg

 

[Klockan3]

All guys like Dr. Pepper, gin, and salted peanuts.

That is not the same thing since that is a specific taste, but roughly all guys likes to drink and eat. All guys have different taste in how they want women to look! "No makeup" is not a look in the same way as "makeup" is not a look either, makeup can however be used to alter your look in some way. Saying that you don't like "makeup" thus doesn't really make sense, it is kinda like saying that you don't like "spices".

 

[HeLiXe]

Some guys don't even like women

 

[Astronuc]

All guys like Dr. Pepper, gin, and salted peanuts.


^^this made me LOL

something like this then...
http://chicstories.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/new-year-make-up.jpg

That would look really cool on a 4 m x 4 m canvas in an art museum, but not on a person. All it needs is proper lighting, and . . . . .

 

[lisab]

That would look really cool on a 4 m x 4 m canvas in an art museum, but not on a person. All it needs is proper lighting, and . . . . .

Yeah, if I saw that on a person I'd think, eye disease?

 

[baywax]

Yeah, if I saw that on a person I'd think, eye disease?

That's not a woman... its a test rabbit.

 

[HeLiXe]

That would look really cool on a 4 m x 4 m canvas in an art museum, but not on a person. All it needs is proper lighting, and . . . . .

Yes this would make a good painting. I'd be afraid to have so much makeup that close to my eyes!

 

[Topher925]

Rofl i have too much free time

The real nerds when confronted with a female will be something like this:
(contains some vulgar content not suitable for children under 1)

http://imagemacros.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/doing_science.jpg

I loled pretty hard at this.

 

[MathematicalPhysicist]

Gee, what a male comment to make. And when a woman wears a nice dress, that gives men permission to say anything they want?

Just the other weekend it was hot and I was wearing a dress inside the house, but I needed to go to the store. It was a perfectly fine dress, but I decided it would probably attract attention so I changed into about 4 other dresses until deciding it was not worth the trouble and changed into some jeans. Of course you then still have the men who decide to make a comment that you are wearing jeans in warm weather Does it ever occur to men that you are not out to attract their attention?

Yes and no.

 

[leroyjenkens]

Gee, what a male comment to make. And when a woman wears a nice dress, that gives men permission to say anything they want?

No, but don't act surprised and complain when they do.

Does it ever occur to men that you are not out to attract their attention?

I understand what you're saying, but my point is that women like the attention. They may complain about it, but that's just to let other people know that someone found them attractive. Complaining about it allows you to tell the story in a way that doesn't sound like bragging.

 

[Astronuc]

I caution people about generalizing to either gender.

Some women want attention - many do not.

Some women/men play games - many do not.

Some women/men like makeup - some do not.

When it comes to matters concerning me, I'll speak for myself. I generally do not conform to what 'men like . . . ' or 'men dislike . . . .'. I have my unique preferences. Most women I know have unique personal preferences.

People just have to take others on a case by case basis, and a poor relationship with a member of the opposite gender (or any individual of any group) does not qualify/define the entire gender (all other members of said group).

 

[Norman]

I caution people about generalizing to either gender.

Some women want attention - many do not.

Some women/men play games - many do not.

Some women/men like makeup - some do not.

When it comes to matters concerning me, I'll speak for myself. I generally do not conform to what 'men like . . . ' or 'men dislike . . . .'. I have my unique preferences. Most women I know have unique personal preferences.

People just have to take others on a case by case basis, and a poor relationship with a member of the opposite gender (or any individual of any group) does not qualify/define the entire gender (all other members of said group).

Ah, finally, the voice of reason.

Most of this "Men like this, girls like that stuff" is fairly off-topic. In fact, I think there are already threads for this somewhere in GD.

I don't think missilvy has visited this thread in a while, but I wonder how she handled/will handle this in the future.

 

[Monique]

No, but don't act surprised and complain when they do.

I understand what you're saying, but my point is that women like the attention. They may complain about it, but that's just to let other people know that someone found them attractive. Complaining about it allows you to tell the story in a way that doesn't sound like bragging.

At what school of psychology did you learn that?

 

[Klockan3]

Whining over too much attention is like whining that you just got an A and not an A+ on a test. Your issue with the subject might be real but most will just see you as a braggart.

Also most likes attention, just not all the time and especially not from everyone. You might wish that only attracted the attention of intelligent charming cute guys and only when you are in the mood to chat but that is an impossibility. Either you have no chance on the golden moments or you have to go through all the dirt around as well.

In the same way guys have to go through a ton of girls who all get annoyed because he isn't the guy they wanted or it was the wrong moment or something plain random, or else he have no chance of finding someone he fits well with. This fate isn't any more pleasant than yours.

PS. Note that when I say "no chance" I of course mean "small" since even in this day females are very rarely making any moves, and even when they do make their "moves" they are usually just guiding the guy into making them rather than actively making them herself.

 

[Dembadon]

... I understand what you're saying, but my point is that women like the attention. They may complain about it, but that's just to let other people know that someone found them attractive. Complaining about it allows you to tell the story in a way that doesn't sound like bragging.

(emphasis mine)

That's a pretty bold, general statement. To what type of attention are you referring? All types of attention?

I can't fault someone who is disgusted by perverted stares/comments, sexual objectification, or any other type of harassment.

 

[rhody]

The first thing that came to mind was, "hmmm, she's looking to attract someone (gender unspecified) who is appreciates synesthesia or fine art in some way, lol.

Rhody...

P.S. I know, I know, get back to the https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=393977" and STAY THERE where you belong...

 

[baywax]

I caution people about generalizing to either gender.

Some women want attention - many do not.

Some women/men play games - many do not.

Some women/men like makeup - some do not.

When it comes to matters concerning me, I'll speak for myself. I generally do not conform to what 'men like . . . ' or 'men dislike . . . .'. I have my unique preferences. Most women I know have unique personal preferences.

People just have to take others on a case by case basis, and a poor relationship with a member of the opposite gender (or any individual of any group) does not qualify/define the entire gender (all other members of said group).

Totally agree Astronuc...

there are no women or men... there's only a bunch of different people.

 

[leroyjenkens]

At what school of psychology did you learn that?

I know how people think. I'm on to you. I know your secret and I'm going to spread the word.

(emphasis mine)

That's a pretty bold, general statement. To what type of attention are you referring? All types of attention?

I can't fault someone who is disgusted by perverted stares/comments, sexual objectification, or any other type of harassment.

Not harassment kinds of attention, but when guys fawn over them, they love it. I'm not even the kind of guy to do that, but I just really don't buy into their complaints. They'll sacrifice comfort to wear tight clothes, go to the club "just to dance" and then complain later about all the guys who tried hitting on them. Get real.

 

[HeLiXe]

I caution people about generalizing to either gender.

Some women want attention - many do not.

Some women/men play games - many do not.

Some women/men like makeup - some do not.

When it comes to matters concerning me, I'll speak for myself. I generally do not conform to what 'men like . . . ' or 'men dislike . . . .'. I have my unique preferences. Most women I know have unique personal preferences.

People just have to take others on a case by case basis, and a poor relationship with a member of the opposite gender (or any individual of any group) does not qualify/define the entire gender (all other members of said group).

Bien dit!

In addition to this, I was surprised to see people confusing personal opinion and preference with fact or general truth.