How Can I Approach a Pretty Girl at My University Despite My Social Anxiety?

[B3NR4Y]

OP, you know what could be nice? If you showed us a picture of HER! For science.. (unless she's underage)

She's of age, I will post one when I have one. I don't use social media so it has to be a real picture

 

[B3NR4Y]

She's of age, I will post one when I have one. I don't use social media so it has to be a real picture

Edit: nevermind cwatter is right

 

[Rockoz]

I'm really proud of you B3NR4Y after reading this thread. It's no easy task to work through social situations with aspergers, but you're doing it. I hope this helps you a lot in your personal development.

 

[B3NR4Y]

I'm really proud of you B3NR4Y after reading this thread. It's no easy task to work through social situations with aspergers, but you're doing it. I hope this helps you a lot in your personal development.

Boldly going where no aspie has gone before.

 

[Nikitin]

Damn man congrats. Guess she found you cute :)

 

[DataGG]

OP, is she pregnant already? Update us.

 

[zoki85]

Damn man congrats.

He looks like a boy to me :p

 

[nuuskur]

maybe she flew south for the winter

 

[Nikitin]

He looks like a boy to me :p

Not anymore I think :)

 

[B3NR4Y]

Damn man congrats. Guess she found you cute :)

I think so as well ^^

OP, is she pregnant already? Update us.

No, I was told to use protection and I did!

He looks like a boy to me :p

maybe she flew south for the winter

This exchange made me laugh out loud. I'd be allowed to fight alongside the Spartans!

 

[JasonRoberts]

Great thread, trolls included

 

[Pythagorean]

she was barefoot, a pet peeve of mine I hate feet. I will wear socks around my home to avoid looking at my own, but I let it slip

I suppose she'll never have the erogenous zones on her feet nibbled, then...

 

[B3NR4Y]

I suppose she'll never have the erogenous zones on her feet nibbled, then...

Never, just the thought of it repulses me.

 

[WWGD]

Never, just the thought of it repulses me.

Not even with the right condiments or add-ons like whipped-cream, etc. :)

 

[B3NR4Y]

Not even with the right condiments or add-ons like whipped-cream, etc. :)

I am visibly perspiring just thinking about that! If she even asked me I think I would cry.

 

[WWGD]

I am visibly perspiring just thinking about that! If she even asked me I think I would cry.

Sorry, I was just kidding.

 

[psparky]

2 words.

MAN UP.

Say, hi, hello, hows it goin?..."I really like your book bag"..."wow, those are really great shoes"...ummm...how about, you have the most beautiful eyes?
How about, "hey, how you doin...my name is John smith, what's yours?" What's your major? Wow, I really like your smile! The list goes on, etc, etc, etc. Use your brain. Woman are looking for smart, intelligent, witty, secure men. Kinda the same way you are looking for a smart, intelligent, witty, smart woman. Rate yourself on those categories, then find a woman that is similar.

Up your dating IQ. What kind of clothes are you wearing? How's your shoes? Do you wear a watch or cologne? When you picture what the woman you want is wearing, does your wardrobe match this, or is it time to get a little more stylish? Hows your hair? How about your teeth? If you need improvement, do it. Just like you, woman notice appearance first and foremost. You can overcome some of this with a great personality, but I recommend polishing up a bit first. It can only help.

Ok, keep in mind that woman are actually versions of human beings as well...lol. They all want love just like men, they are all a bit insecure at least at some level. They want to be talked to and they also want friends as well. Since you are obviously a novice, just go with the friends kinda hello first. Girls are tricky, they aren't just going to jump up and be your girlfiend because you said hello. Keep in mind to that if you are dealing with an attractive gal, that means there are 500 other "bucks" out there trying to land her as well. Competition is fierce. Are you the big buck on the hill? If you somehow match up with this gal in personality and chemistry, you may just be the most dominant buck on the hill.

Now, here's some tricks. Big smile...smile a lot. How about being funny and humorous? An average looking guy with big smile and sense of humor can get well above average looking women...and way above average personality (personality is really the most important thing down the line) If you can get looks and personalilty, you're all set...tough to do, but very possible.

Also, practice by just talking to random everyday gals. Even the ones that arne't super attractive can have super personalites and be fun to be around. Engaging a gal for her personality rather than her looks generally leads to successful relationships. I believe the expression is "friends first".

 

[nuuskur]

I cringe every time I see categorisation. "Average looking guy with a great smile and a sense of humour can get ABOVE average looking girls..." Did you even re-read that part yourself? :D So, where do we draw the line when a woman is of average looks or above average?
Nobody in their right state of mind would want a relationship with someone, because they are good-looking. Now we have another problem: what do we mean by a relationship? .. OH dear, gets complicated. Need to socialise, everything else will play out fine. Going out the front door thinking something like "I need a relationship, so I need to get my act straight" is a recipe for doom. Be whoever the hell you are.

 

[B3NR4Y]

Socialization is hard. This thread, now that I reread, makes me seem as though I went from a social retard to a lady killer, but trust me it's exactly the opposite. I go to parties with the girl and can't even talk to her friends. I feel as though it's a combination of having nothing in common with them and me being too socially stupid to talk with them, with heavy emphasis on the latter. I got lucky with this one girl, but part of me knows it's likely not to last (it's an early college relationship, do those ever last?). I'm happy with her right now, but I like to keep my expectations in line with reality.

Anyway, I will continue taking tips because I will eventually need them.

 

[Pythagorean]

I don't fare well at parties either as far as socialization goes unless I meet someone similar minded by chance, but I don't mind staying quiet until there's good conversation.

 

[psparky]

Socialization is hard. This thread, now that I reread, makes me seem as though I went from a social retard to a lady killer, but trust me it's exactly the opposite. I go to parties with the girl and can't even talk to her friends. I feel as though it's a combination of having nothing in common with them and me being too socially stupid to talk with them, with heavy emphasis on the latter. I got lucky with this one girl, but part of me knows it's likely not to last (it's an early college relationship, do those ever last?). I'm happy with her right now, but I like to keep my expectations in line with reality.

Anyway, I will continue taking tips because I will eventually need them.

Wait...you actually got the girl? Nice...that's what I'm talking about! I guess you are the big Buck on the hill!

Ya know...it takes a while to get experienced and comfortable with girls. Just like it takes quite a while to develop a really good personality in general.
These things do not typically jump out when you are in your 20's. Mid to late 30's...even early to mid 40's are more realistic. Some people refer to this as your "prime".

When you talk with her friends, compliment things about them, ask them how they know your lady. Ask them what they are going to school for...do they have a job? Where are they from? What kind of hobbies do they like? Are you getting drunk yet? Do you need a shot...? lol

Now keep in mind, you will often run into complete duds. These types of woman have no personality, no depth...they are just swept into there own who knows what. If you are talking to someone boring...the conversation is not going to work no matter what you do. Now real woman...you should be able to conversate with.

 

[nuuskur]

Now real woman...you should be able to conversate with.
Amen to that.

 

[psparky]

Now real woman...you should be able to conversate with.
Amen to that.

That's why you need to "dig" a bit when talking to people...get in there, unpeel some layers, see what's up.

Or perhaps "you" are the dud reading this. Well, sorry to hear that, but you will likely end up with a dud of the opposite sex...unless...

Here's the good news tho for the duds...looking to be studs. You can improve yourself in many ways. Like I said in earlier posts...smile more!
Make attempts to be funny! Try to be very self confident...work on it. Try to be more outgoing, try to be the Alpha Male...etc. Wear better looking clothes, fix your hair! etc,.. And I know some people will say just be yourself. Well, sometimes "just being yourself" can lead to a lifetime of lonliness! Come on now, almost anyone can improve themselves. Take a good look in the mirror and picture yourself from a female's eyes. Would you go out with YOU?

 

[B3NR4Y]

Wait...you actually got the girl? Nice...that's what I'm talking about! I guess you are the big Buck on the hill!

Ya know...it takes a while to get experienced and comfortable with girls. Just like it takes quite a while to develop a really good personality in general.
These things do not typically jump out when you are in your 20's. Mid to late 30's...even early to mid 40's are more realistic. Some people refer to this as your "prime".

When you talk with her friends, compliment things about them, ask them how they know your lady. Ask them what they are going to school for...do they have a job? Where are they from? What kind of hobbies do they like? Are you getting drunk yet? Do you need a shot...? lol

Now keep in mind, you will often run into complete duds. These types of woman have no personality, no depth...they are just swept into there own who knows what. If you are talking to someone boring...the conversation is not going to work no matter what you do. Now real woman...you should be able to conversate with.

Yeah I got her by complete luck, and believe me when I say luck. 100% luck, not accounted for in experimental uncertainty.

If I'm not the big-buck on the hill, I'm the bravest one I guess, which may as well make the biggest buck. One of her friends I am sure I can hold a conversation with, she's majoring in aerospace engineering, I'm majoring in Physics with a focus on the astrophysics part of that so next time we'll talk about that. The rest of her friends are any combination of undeclared, liberal arts, English, or *shudder* philosophy (jokes). I like her a lot, my last post may have made it seem like I don't, but I do I just like to be realistic about relationships. We haven't fought at all in the month we've been together. I don't drink so they probably think I'm weird, but it's a combination of me being too young to drink and me not being comfortable getting drunk when I only know one person there. If I were to ever get drunk, I'd want to do it with friends the first time because
1.) I'm not sure how much it would take for me to get drunk and all my friends are science majors so I could rely on them to accurately keep that data
2.) I don't feel comfortable throwing up in front of my girlfriend yet.
3.) I might do something crazy like Karaoke.

 

[B3NR4Y]

That's why you need to "dig" a bit when talking to people...get in there, unpeel some layers, see what's up.

Or perhaps "you" are the dud reading this. Well, sorry to hear that, but you will likely end up with a dud of the opposite sex...unless...

Here's the good news tho for the duds...looking to be studs. You can improve yourself in many ways. Like I said in earlier posts...smile more!
Make attempts to be funny! Try to be very self confident...work on it. Try to be more outgoing, try to be the Alpha Male...etc. Wear better looking clothes, fix your hair! etc,.. And I know some people will say just be yourself. Well, sometimes "just being yourself" can lead to a lifetime of lonliness! Come on now, almost anyone can improve themselves. Take a good look in the mirror and picture yourself from a female's eyes. Would you go out with YOU?

Self-improvement feels masturbatory (no I'm not quoting Fight Club), but I have done quite a bit of it lately. But sneakily doing it. I chose new glasses frames, I still have to wear thick glasses, but I look more like Peter Parker than a run-of-the-mill science guy. I wear new cologne that I had my girlfriend choose, I got a new pair of shoes (hardest part because I have big feet, size 13-1/2, and only some pairs fit and are comfortable), I got new stylish socks and pants, I stopped wearing the same sweater every day and I stopped wearing big headphones (despite the comfort they gave when I jam to Mozart).

My sister and my girlfriend helped transform me, I feel like a hipster but some girls have came up and talked to me out of nowhere, so I must have done something right.

 

[nuuskur]

I'm sorry, "trying to be alpha male" or what ever it is, is the most BETA thing one can do.
Try to be self confident? No, BE self-confident.

Consider your partner in conversation as your equal. It doesn't matter if they are male or female. If they are these "duds", it will soon be apparent.

 

[psparky]

Nibbling on feet...Never, just the thought of it repulses me.

In the movie "scent of a woman" with Al pacino, in the plane scene, he talks about "how he doesn't care if a woman has greek columns or terastyles for legs, doesn't matter...inbetween those legs, passport to heaven...

In other words, don't worry about the feet.

In fact, in that plane scene he says that in life there are only two sylabbles in life worth saying.

Yes, that word, very good:)

Actually, watch that movie or watch it again. It has excellent insight of a true sort of love for the female form. Might be helpful.
I just watched it again...perfect insight for me at this point in life.

Here's another good line. In the plane scene he says he loves woman above all other things. Maybe a very far distant 2nd is a Ferarri.

In all seriousness...what is the distant number 2 thing compared to a woman? What? Golf? Video Games? Hiking? Parachuting? etc...

Its all B.S.

Love in a woman is the juice.

 

[nuuskur]

I strongly recommend you to edit your post and remove the big word.

 

[psparky]

I'm sorry, "trying to be alpha male" or what ever it is, is the most BETA thing one can do.
Try to be self confident? No, BE self-confident.

Sorry, perhaps your words were better. Confident...be confident...my folks been telling me that since I was 5 years old.
Confidence is just about everything...not only in woman, but everything else as well.

 

[Pythagorean]

Alpha male doesn't even make sense in human society, unless you're talking about a father as head of household or a harem lord or the leader of a gang or something; the term has been bastardized by so called "pick up artists".

Yes, confidence is sexy, whether male or female. Sometimes you can make other people feel confident and comfortable and that should really be your goal with people you like and want to learn more about.

 

[psparky]

Alpha male doesn't even make sense in human society, unless you're talking about a father as head of household or a harem lord or the leader of a gang or something; the term has been bastardized by so called "pick up artists".

Yes, confidence is sexy, whether male or female. Sometimes you can make other people feel confident and comfortable and that should really be your goal with people you like and want to learn more about.

Alpha males and females are very real thing in our society. So is the Beta and the Omega. Just look around your workplace, school, home or wherever.
They are easy to pick out if you look carefully.

 

[Pythagorean]

Alpha males and females are very real thing in our society. So is the Beta and the Omega. Just look around your workplace, school, home or wherever.
They are easy to pick out if you look carefully.

That sounds like a very anecdotal approach, likely full of cognitive biases.

 

[Rick21383]

That sounds like a very anecdotal approach, likely full of cognitive biases.

wrong. And, until you admit that this is a real thing, you will continue to be the person standing off by himself watching all the women focus their attention on the alpha male who's controlling the entire room.

Sorry but it's a fact. It's not that difficult to observe this.

 

[Pythagorean]

wrong. And, until you admit that this is a real thing, you will continue to be the person standing off by himself watching all the women focus their attention on the alpha male who's controlling the entire room.

Sorry but it's a fact. It's not that difficult to observe this.

To me, your post seems foolish, having so confidently swung and missed in your assumptions about me. I wouldn't be surprised if that kind of swinging in the dark carried over to your confidence in pu theory...

 

[nuuskur]

wrong. And, until you admit that this is a real thing, you will continue to be the person standing off by himself watching all the women focus their attention on the alpha male who's controlling the entire room.

Sorry but it's a fact. It's not that difficult to observe this.

It's something what you believe to be true, not a fact. Do not mistake the two :D But as you say, you observed this...