Is Adultery Worse Than Pre-Marital Sex?

[djeipa]

Ooooohhhh, MaxS I think I know you.
Are you the gyu living in Peru ? Your way of using English gives me that guess.

 

[MaxS]

I was making a pun on the conservative attitude mormons hold toward sex, not on his sentence structure.

Everyone makes fun of mormons. And they damn well deserve it lol believe me I've known plenty of mormon kids, they either go crazy and explode into sexmania and drugs or otherwise end up really effing weird until they hit like 40 and turn into their weird Pleasantville-like parents.

 

[arildno]

To put a few sparks into the debate, I don't think that having sex with a different person than the one you gave a silly promise not to do that years ago is wrong.

What is wrong, is the lies, evasions and simple dishonesty in not telling your life-partner about things you've done that would be relevant for your life-partner in his or hers decision as to whether or not continue the relationship with you.

 

[Norman]

To put a few sparks into the debate, I don't think that having sex with a different person than the one you gave a silly promise not to do that years ago is wrong.

What is wrong, is the lies, evasions and simple dishonesty in not telling your life-partner about things you've done that would be relevant for your life-partner in his or hers decision as to whether or not continue the relationship with you.

So completely crushing the soul of the person who believed that you were faithfull to them is ok? So one day you just toss out there, "So honey, last night had some great sex with "insert name here that is not partner"."

Or are you saying that from the very beginning that you should be honest and let them know you have wanderlust? That you care for them, but everything else is just sex? I think I need you to clarify your statement a little before I comment because I may be reading it wrong.
Cheers

 

[Gokul43201]

To put a few sparks into the debate, I don't think that having sex with a different person than the one you gave a silly promise not to do that years ago is wrong.

What is wrong, is the lies, evasions and simple dishonesty in not telling your life-partner about things you've done that would be relevant for your life-partner in his or hers decision as to whether or not continue the relationship with you.

But arildno, what you are describing is not what would likely be called an 'extramarital affair'. This thing generally involves deception.

 

[arildno]

But arildno, what you are describing is not what would likely be called an 'extramarital affair'. This thing generally involves deception.

So?
Why should the socially induced fear of being branded as a loser or unserious individual if you don't "manage" to stay in life-long monogamy be an emotion nurtured and kept alive by both members of the couple in the first place??

Life-long monogamy is fine, as long as that the couple involved chooses to uphold it because they want to, rather than that they uphold it because they are afraid of what might happen or how they will be judged if they choose to break out of it.

 

[Lisa!]

Before cheating on someone we should think whether we like someone to cheat on us or not! If you're going to do whatever you want even after you get married or date someone, you should let the person know what kind of person you are. Perhaps you can find someone like yourself who doesn't mind to be cheated on and in return you shouldn't mind too!

 

[hypermorphism]

Perhaps you can find someone like yourself who doesn't mind to be cheated on and in return you shouldn't mind too!

You're assuming that what arildno described is cheating. I think he was just referring to an open relationship.

 

[arildno]

You're assuming that what arildno described is cheating. I think he was just referring to an open relationship.

That is correct.

 

[Lisa!]

I wasn't commentening on what arildno said! I'd not read his post.

 

[arildno]

Lisa!'s and my post were posted at the same time (so she couldn't possibly have read my reply), my "that is correct" refers to my stance that an "open relationship" is in principle to be preferred.

 

[EnumaElish]

What is wrong, is the lies, evasions and simple dishonesty in not telling your life-partner about things you've done that would be relevant for your life-partner in his or hers decision as to whether or not continue the relationship with you.

I thought the smartest thing is "not to do it"; but the next smart thing is if you did do it for whatever reason or absence thereof, then for duck's sake do not confess up during dinner unless you really want your partner to leave and that's your way of making sure that he or she will.

 

[Lisa!]

Lisa!'s and my post were posted at the same time (so she couldn't possibly have read my reply), my "that is correct" refers to my stance that an "open relationship" is in principle to be preferred.

I even hadn't read your post that wasn't at the same time with mine!

 

[arildno]

I even hadn't read your post that wasn't at the same time with mine!

 

[Lisa!]

I told you I usually don't read posts with more than 1 sentence!

 

[Andy]

The smartest thing to do is not cheat, the second smartest thing to do is not get caught.

arildno are you a swinger?

 

[EnumaElish]

arildno are you a swinger?

Aren't all primates? Or were you referring to the swingout option in a health insurance plan?

 

[arildno]

arildno are you a swinger?

I prefer swish to swing.

 

[Lapin Dormant]

Given that the sexual act is one in which emotional bonding is occurring, time of partenering becomes more destructive if, eventually, it is sure of ending, so it would be more emotively healthy to try to wait for the right person and then partener to bond emotionally.

For myself, in my personal belief system, I see Adultery as Any Sex outside of Marriage, including pre-marital, so the reality, for me, is different to the rest/most of the opinons expressed by the other posters.

Anyone can, reasonably speaking, practise whatever they want, so long as they accept the consequences of their actions, & respect their Parteners, properly.

The emotive disruptiveness of separating from a Previoulsy attached partener is, can be, very telling, for the rest of your life, emotionally and physically and intellectually, so choosing carefully is a Good move, only my opinion. (OMO)

Personally I would rather be married, but there seem to be No other Available rabbits, in my current field, then again, in my dreams, YeehaW.

LD
(Listens to sounds of a Thumping foot rapido, apres ca, je vais me coucher et dormir)

 

[chup]

Adultery is caused by no sex AFTER marriage.

 

[Evo]

Adultery is caused by no sex AFTER marriage.

Sorry, that just struck me as funny. Yes, it is a major contributor.

 

[Andy]

Nice one chup, think we might like you.

 

[Kalimaa23]

Adultery is caused by no sex AFTER marriage.

Well, I wouldn't say that it's the cause, but they are corrolated.
After all no sex in a relationship usually is a tell tale sign of other problems...

 

[Andy]

Originally posted by lazy rabbit
Given that the sexual act is one in which emotional bonding is occurring,

I beg to differ on this point. As far as I am concerned sex can be just plain old sex. Do you see prostitutes getting emotionally attached? Making love is where bonding occurs.

 

[Lapin Dormant]

I beg to differ on this point. As far as I am concerned sex can be just plain old sex. Do you see prostitutes getting emotionally attached? Making love is where bonding occurs.

Maybe some of them do, but they too learn to Harden their Hearts against it, is that what you want to do, harden your heart?

And Prostitutes getting emotionally attached? while they are working, isn't that a Bit like saying ALL bartenders MUST become Alcoholics?

Aside from that, I seem to recall that I had said it was in the "time of partnering" so the bonding is usually from repetitive encounters with the same person, prostitutes usually do not do that, unless they can stay emotionally unattached to that client, then they have them as one of their "regulars" or Johns.

"Just Plain Old Sex" someone sounds Bored, in the Bedroom.

 

[Lapin Dormant]

And after this Le Lapin va dormier! Saluté!

Adultery is caused by no sex AFTER marriage.

Funny, cause most of the complaints I've Heard of, are of No Sex During the Marriage, what goes on after the Marriage is entirely up to the Individuals, so long as the Divorce Papers are in. (OMO)

 

[ron damon]

there's nothing wrong with sex before marriage and there's nothing worse than sex after it (with someone else)

 

[Andy]

Originally posted by lazy rabbit
Maybe some of them do, but they too learn to Harden their Hearts against it, is that what you want to do, harden your heart?

And Prostitutes getting emotionally attached? while they are working, isn't that a Bit like saying ALL bartenders MUST become Alcoholics?

Aside from that, I seem to recall that I had said it was in the "time of partnering" so the bonding is usually from repetitive encounters with the same person, prostitutes usually do not do that, unless they can stay emotionally unattached to that client, then they have them as one of their "regulars" or Johns.

"Just Plain Old Sex" someone sounds Bored, in the Bedroom.

Plain old sex is boring though, making love is where the magic happens.

You said

Given that the sexual act is one in which emotional bonding is occurring,

As far as I am concerned there is a huge difference between sex and making love, and anyone that has experienced the two would understand what i mean.

Oh, and bartenders only handle the drinks they don't drink them, so that was a bad example to use.

 

[Lapin Dormant]

Plain old sex is boring though, making love is where the magic happens.
As far as I am concerned there is a huge difference between sex and making love, and anyone that has experienced the two would understand what i mean.
Oh, and bartenders only handle the drinks they don't drink them, so that was a bad example to use.

"Plain old sex" what would be the point of it if you knew there was a way to make it better, why would you practise that which B-O-R-E-S you? if the Idea of 'Making Love' is your better thing, then again you too must realize that it is MUCH better, easier to make Love to/with someone you know a Little bit about, like a Female 'Friend' Right? That Comes from BONDING emotionally, over time.
(can't you tell? yet)

So Yes, I do know the differences, and perhaps understand the emotives of it slightly better, perhaps not, as yours (emotions) are just for you.

As for the Bartenders, have know quite a few who were Alcoholics, so 'handle the drink' is what some of them (try to) do.

As for prostitutes, that is why you pay them, so they will not remain, as in 'attached/attachable' to you, emotionally or otherwise.

 

[Lapin Dormant]

Le Lapin faisant Quoi?

You would also need to remember that Woman have Sex cycles too, at a time they have those feelings sometimes much stronger then at other times, so the opportunities of "Plain Old Sex" and Making Love Passionately, require some willingness to participate through those, long term, with her, if He can find a Mate willing to that path, and then remembering 'trying to be Romantic' spontaneous to her Knowledge, without her reminding you, simple things sometimes, helps her feel a Bond too, emotively.


LD
Les Lapines Sont 'Super Fun'!

 

[Andy]

When i say plain old sex i am talking about having sex even though you can't really be bothered to put that much effort into it, we've all done it so don't try and say that you havent. Everyone needs a quick release from all that built up tension.

Who said anything about sex boring me? I am still young enough to not need viagra.

Anyway being a Rabbit you wouldn't know what i mean anway, how passionate can you get when hopping off one doe and onto another?

 

[Lapin Dormant]

can't talk busy Hopping, on, and off, and on, and off, and

When i say plain old sex i am talking about having sex even though you can't really be bothered to put that much effort into it, we've all done it so don't try and say that you havent. Everyone needs a quick release from all that built up tension.

No effort? you mean leaving it up to her to acomplish or finish it all?

Who said anything about sex boring me? I am still young enough to not need viagra.

The quote on top seems to tell a slightly different story, perhaps.

"Viagra" what's that?

Anyway being a Rabbit you wouldn't know what i mean anway, how passionate can you get when hopping off one doe and onto another?

You wouldn't know.

LD
Heh-Heh-Heh Hops...On? or off?

 

[Andy]

No effort? you mean leaving it up to her to acomplish or finish it all?

Well if she doesn't mind, if she does i just slip some rohypnol into her drink!

You can't have that much room in your tent anyway can you?

 

[Lapin Dormant]

Well if she doesn't mind, if she does i just slip some rohypnol into her drink!

Am I ever glad I am a Male Rabbit, with the likes of you running around, using drugs, to get at Girls...someone of them ought to cut off your leg, now that it would be a "Lucky Foot" for some poor unsuspecting Innocent young Virginal Female.

Then Again, if you drug her, and you shouldn't, then you will have to do ALL of the work, just like us 'good at it' Rabbits have to do, without the drugs.

You can't have that much room in your tent anyway can you?

Tent? what the Heck do you think I am, a Tent, that is for Sissified Rabbits, not real Male ones, like myself, I have a Sumptuous Warren, many rooms, and a Bathing area to boot, turtle made me put it in.


LD
Did you know that female rabbits can have only one orgasm at a time, that is why we males 'Bunny Hop' keep going till we have one, too

 

[Norman]

some poor unsuspecting Innocent young Virginal Female.

You know, I have never met a single one of these kind of women before... I wonder if they even exist?