My potential supervisor is SO hot

[nucleargirl]

Either way, I have made my decision and chose his project. Now I am waiting to hear if I get it. If I don't, whoever gets it is going to DIE! and then I will get it :)

 

[thorium1010]

Either way, I have made my decision and chose his project. Now I am waiting to hear if I get it. If I don't, whoever gets it is going to DIE! and then I will get it :)

Infactuation and obsession crossing a line ?

 

[nucleargirl]

seriously! I've pretty much told everyone else on the course that this project is mine... THEY'd better not cross that line!

 

[nucleargirl]

he's so kind-looking I can't take it!

 

[256bits]

You are smiiten girl.


Lyrics and song by Sting

Don't Stand So Close To Me

Young teacher, the subject
Of schoolgirl fantasy
She wants him so badly
Knows what she wants to be
Inside her there's longing
This girl's an open page
Book marking - she's so close now
This girl is half his age

Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me

Her friends are so jealous
You know how bad girls get
Sometimes it's not so easy
To be the teacher's pet
Temptation, frustration
So bad it makes him cry
Wet bus stop, she's waiting
His car is warm and dry

Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me

Loose talk in the classroom
To hurt they try and try
Strong words in the staffroom
The accusations fly
It's no use, he sees her
He starts to shake and cough
Just like the old man in
That book by Nabakov

Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me

Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me

 

[nucleargirl]

If I get it, we will HAVE to stand close to each other!

 

[Monique]

Uh oh.. someone's in love..

Not too uncommon, in my previous lab there were three couples that started out as supervisor-student (shame on them!). But they've been together for over 15 years. Another PhD student started to get the hots for his student (and/or vice versa) and asked the prof. for another person to supervise the project.

Your position is not too great in an academic point of view, it will be convoluted. Keep your head straight and stay grounded is my advice.

 

[Deveno]

when i was a young man (what i wouldn't give to be young again...THIS time, i'd know just exactly what to do) one of my math professors (to be fair, the youngest one) had a wife who couldn't have been more than a year or two different in age from me.

which means, of course, that he had met and courted her while she was a student, more than likely one of his students. such things do happen.

however, this is probably the exception that proves the rule.

i don't know you, NG, but i hope you wish for the best, and plan for the worst.

oh, and apparently energizer lithium maintains proper voltage longer.

 

[Moonbear]

At one of the universities where I worked, there was a faculty member who married his grad student. Needless to say, she had to find a new mentor to finish her degree because it woud have been a conflict of interest to be advised by her husband (he was younger faculty and she was a bit older student, so it wasn't too odd for them to have been attracted). So, while one possibility is simply making a fool of yourself if the attraction isn't mutual, the other if it is mutual is needing to find someone else to be your supervisor. Make sure you have a back up plan...lol!

 

[Borek]

Make sure you have a back up plan...lol!

Divorce?

 

[netgypsy]

As has been mentioned this sort of thing is pretty common. One of my female family members taught a young man who asked her if she ever posed for a poster. (She just smiled and said "thank you for the compliment but no") He didn't do very well in her class despite being a very good student normally. He had to be really smitten because her husband taught in the same department and there was no doubt that they were crazy about each other.

 

[Lisa!]

Not too uncommon, in my previous lab there were three couples that started out as supervisor-student (shame on them!). But they've been together for over 15 years. Another PhD student started to get the hots for his student (and/or vice versa) and asked the prof. for another person to supervise the project.

Your position is not too great in an academic point of view, it will be convoluted. Keep your head straight and stay grounded is my advice.

Why do you say shame on them?

 

[drizzle]

First of all, I really enjoyed reading this thread.

His hotness is a pro, but I think it's much more important that your personalities match. If you're an easy-going person, then your advisor should be as well. If you're a workaholic, then your advisor should be as well. Etc.
Not matching personalities can cause LOTS of grief.

You're not serious, are you? Cause I'll never finish my degree if I follow it []

No good can come of this. You really need to think of your degree goals and nothing else.

Basically don't mix the two because in the end you risk getting neither. Workplace romances usually end in bitterness with one party leaving because the pain is too great.

+1

he's too hot to not have a girlfriend or at least girls chasing after him...
its going to be a lot of pain and heartache!

*smacks NG with a frozen fish*

Uh oh.. someone's in love..

Not too uncommon, in my previous lab there were three couples that started out as supervisor-student (shame on them!). But they've been together for over 15 years. Another PhD student started to get the hots for his student (and/or vice versa) and asked the prof. for another person to supervise the project.

Your position is not too great in an academic point of view, it will be convoluted. Keep your head straight and stay grounded is my advice.

Agreed [with the shame on them part too]

Why do you say shame on them?

Personally I don't like it, it just brings lots of question marks on my head.

At one of the universities where I worked, there was a faculty member who married his grad student. Needless to say, she had to find a new mentor to finish her degree because it woud have been a conflict of interest to be advised by her husband (he was younger faculty and she was a bit older student, so it wasn't too odd for them to have been attracted). So, while one possibility is simply making a fool of yourself if the attraction isn't mutual, the other if it is mutual is needing to find someone else to be your supervisor. Make sure you have a back up plan...lol!

Divorce?

Advice: focus on your study NG.

 

[Loess]

Honestly all I can advise you is 'don't go there', just focus on your studies and not him!

Infatuation is difficult to control (well it was for me). i lusted after this guy who was once my tutor then the 'relationship' became real and I got hurt, I guess as i was emotionally attached by this point and he wasn't. If you can keep it in your head then great. I wouldn't want to go through that experience again.

 

[nucleargirl]

Thanks for the advice all. and the fish slap :p

I have news... I got it.

But... I'm not excited anymore. I think I over did it in my head.

Its probably for the best.

 

[nucleargirl]

actually I sent him an e-mail today and he didnt reply... so now I'm worried he's offended or dislikes me or something... hopefully not. and if he does, that ain't going to fly!

 

[drizzle]

*heartily facepalm*

 

[nucleargirl]

I just realized that he has the same eyes and eyebrows as brad pitt... I never liked brad pitt! anyway... I'm so busy revising now I'm not thinking about him anymore. But one point is that he will be writing my references! so I would need to be on my top form.

 

[chiro]

So what kind of 'research' are you really doing...

 

[Deveno]

presumably thermodynamics

 

[MarcoD]

presumably thermodynamics

More like interpersonal relationships.

 

[drizzle]

More like interpersonal relationships.

Ooooooh

 

[I like Serena]

More like interpersonal relationships.

HOT interpersonal relationships then!

 

[MarcoD]

HOT interpersonal relationships then!

I want a copy of the credits in the thesis

 

[nucleargirl]

Been feeling so sick today: decided to start project next Thursday... not sure if have stomach bug or butterflies.

 

[nucleargirl]

So what kind of 'research' are you really doing...

um... the stomach-turning kind?

 

[nucleargirl]

and intriguing... he seems to like to reply in one or two word answers to my e-mails... not sure if really busy or can't be bothered... omg I really need to stop reading 9gag. started speaking in memes now. sound like fricking philosoraptor and fry mix.

 

[Jolb]

I once did a summer internship under two professors (both male) to do some research on graphene synthesis and characterization. The professors also had another student to work on the same project; she was a girl. (I'm a guy, btw.) It was immediately clear that she favored the younger professor, and she would always volunteer to do stuff for him even when it was totally not productive for the project.

Later on in the program, she'd talk with other girls in the lab about how "hot" the younger professor was. Clearly that was her motivation for liking him.

Now that just irritated me. I felt like her priority wasn't to do the research project, it was just to butter up to him. I couldn't help but doubt how serious she was about actually doing the project, and I thought it was annoying that she would get away with doing grunt work for the younger professor instead of actually doing the research project!

In all, my message is that you might annoy other students if they find out that you're more interested in the professor than in the project. Particularly, if you have partners, they would most likely figure that you're not actually motivated by interest in the subject matter, like they are.

 

[nucleargirl]

Yeah... I'm not going to tell anyone who might know him... which is kinda why I'm venting here...

 

[CaptFirePanda]

I wonder what the responses would be like if the genders were flipped (eg. male student professing his lust for a female professor). I'm assuming the conversation would focus a lot more on the negatives of superficial attraction, etc...

Anyway, that aside, I think it would put him in a very tough situation as it is generally frowned upon for a professor to have a relationship with a student and many post-secondary institutions are drafting policy along those lines. I would consider this when moving forward. It isn't always easy to resist one's feelings, but if you can save things until he is no longer your supervisor, that might make life easier for him and you.

Anyway good luck one way or another. Try not to read into things too much or you'll drive everyone nuts ;)

 

[nucleargirl]

:) can't wait to start on Thursday! wonder what it will be like?
anyway, I've finished exams! and did soooo badly... I know it. Gonna be back to retake next year I'm sure... Anyway, I went to Harrods today and they let me try on a Piaget cocktail ring! AND I bought shoes! )

 

[Doby]

Hahaha funny board :D

 

[nucleargirl]

I'm so scared... been having butterflies for like the past days! not fun! hope he doesn't hate me...

 

[MarcoD]

I say horsedung! Ah well, hope you're enjoying yourself.

 

[nucleargirl]

sucks... worst day ever... supervisor turned out to be... not what I had expected... and he probably felt the same about me.
Feel so bad... how is this going to work?
I find it so difficult to talk to him... What can I ask a guy 20 years older than me? I really don't know what to say to him. And he doesn't seem the slightest interested in talking to me... oh... I hope things don't stay this way...