Questionable Skills of Cooking Show Hosts on Food Network

[lisab]

What a funny picture! And yeah...they don't look perky...

 

[Evo]

Ace of Cakes

Ok, first show, ok, you make comic book style cakes.

Second show, ok, you make comic book style cakes.

Dear Gawd! You people make crappy comic book style cakes! STOP!

They can make fascimilies of characters, but they don't have the artistic expertise to pull off extraordinary cakes with refinement or detail.

A good example was the "Taj Mahal" cake. A flat, void of detail cake of the main structure. What was really horrible were the green colored corn dogs they used for trees. It was ugly, plain, no detail, and the "grounds" were pathetically comical.

Can we cancel this show, please?

I've seen incredible cakes and fine works of art in sugar. These people simply do not have the talent or ability to make works of art. Any hack can make these cakes with enough effort. I want to see talent, not effort.

 

[Evo]

I *love* Guy Fiero. He wasn't my favorite in the "Next Food Network Star" competition, but I didn't see the last segments where he won. They were right, this guy rocks.

He's funny, he actually knows his way around a kitchen, he puts on a great show and he makes "MAN FOOD". Got to give him credit for going for taste over gimmicks. Although that wimpy papaya show was sad.

 

[Moonbear]

I've seen incredible cakes and fine works of art in sugar.

There was some show, I think it was on Food Network, but might have been on one of the other channels, that had competitions of confectioners...they'd have to do this huge sculptures from sugar (looked like glass) or cakes, etc. Some were really badly done and would fall apart for judging (then again, the skill level required was amazing, so even a badly put together one was way better than what someone untrained could ever dream to accomplish), but some were GORGEOUS. There was always that tense moment as they had to carry the finished piece from the work table to the judging table (being able to move it was part of the judging criteria...people who really create things like this have to get them to the event where they are displayed without them crumbling).

If the show you're talking about is the one I think it is, yeah, it should be cancelled. How many times can you show how to cut out shapes from fondant to make a cake? I could make most of those cakes with ready-made fondant at my disposal.

 

[Evo]

There was some show, I think it was on Food Network, but might have been on one of the other channels, that had competitions of confectioners...they'd have to do this huge sculptures from sugar (looked like glass) or cakes, etc. Some were really badly done and would fall apart for judging (then again, the skill level required was amazing, so even a badly put together one was way better than what someone untrained could ever dream to accomplish), but some were GORGEOUS. There was always that tense moment as they had to carry the finished piece from the work table to the judging table (being able to move it was part of the judging criteria...people who really create things like this have to get them to the event where they are displayed without them crumbling).

Yes those take talent.

If the show you're talking about is the one I think it is, yeah, it should be cancelled. How many times can you show how to cut out shapes from fondant to make a cake? I could make most of those cakes with ready-made fondant at my disposal.

Yeah, it's that show. "ooh look, it's a cat", "oooh look, it's a hot dog", ooh look, it's a hamburger".

 

[~christina~]

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080709011413AAZTLSC

1000 or more? It's for those cartoon cakes

http://bittenandbound.com/2008/02/1...es-and-his-charm-city-cakes-photos-and-video/
examples of his cakes..including that taj mahal with the corndog trees

 

[Evo]

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080709011413AAZTLSC

1000 or more? It's for those cartoon cakes

http://bittenandbound.com/2008/02/1...es-and-his-charm-city-cakes-photos-and-video/
examples of his cakes..including that taj mahal with the corndog trees

Well, I'm starting a crummy cake company! christina, are you in?

Don't they look like green corn dogs? This was the same week that they had a candy Taj Mahal on a candy contest and the candy Taj Mahal looked like a photograph, it was stunning. All of the intricate design work on the outside was recreated, unlike the cake which is just solid white.

 

[Moonbear]

How much do wedding cakes cost nowadays? These should probably be in that same price range, since they're basically what you'd order as groom's cakes (though some look like they could be wedding cakes themselves...there are a few pretty ones in that second link aside from the outlandish ones). They're cool looking, but I've seen all I need to see looking at the photo gallery.

 

[~christina~]

Well, I'm starting a crummy cake company! christina, are you in?

Don't they look like green corn dogs? This was the same week that they had a candy Taj Mahal on a candy contest and the candy Taj Mahal looked like a photograph, it was stunning. All of the intricate design work on the outside was recreated, unlike the cake which is just solid white.

I'm in! If we get a show on the food network, we'll be FAMOUS!

They look like corndogs with green mold on them.

I missed that show.

 

[Evo]

Here's the chocolate Taj Mahal.

http://www.wickedlocal.com/saugus/archive/x1107265706/g258258a45df40631e1656bc818cc9ba8a946313b7a0f02.jpg

Actually, that Charm City Taj Mahal, looks doctored from what was on the show. It was just plain white fondant and the couple looked really disappointed when they saw it.

 

[Moonbear]

They look like corndogs with green mold on them.

To be fair, the real plants at the Taj Mahal really are shaped like corndogs.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Taj_Mahal_in_March_2004.jpg

Though, if you compare them, they clearly weren't concerned with placing them where they are really located. The other bushes look like gumdrops. I've had nicer looking gumdrop bushes on my gingerbread houses.

 

[~christina~]

Here's the chocolate Taj Mahal.

http://www.wickedlocal.com/saugus/archive/x1107265706/g258258a45df40631e1656bc818cc9ba8a946313b7a0f02.jpg

Actually, that Charm City Taj Mahal, looks doctored from what was on the show. It was just plain white fondant and the couple looked really disappointed when they saw it.

That's nice. (chocolate one)
I'm not sure if this is the one I saw in a competition, but it looks familiar. Did the guy who make it have a hat on?

I would have liked to see their expression. The show always had people, ooing and aaahing over their cakes.

To be fair, the real plants at the Taj Mahal really are shaped like corndogs.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Taj_Mahal_in_March_2004.jpg

Though, if you compare them, they clearly weren't concerned with placing them where they are really located. The other bushes look like gumdrops. I've had nicer looking gumdrop bushes on my gingerbread houses.

The color of the trees are wrong and there isn't any texture to the trees at all.

 

[wolram]

The best batter for fish, i guess you Americans have never tasted fish and chips cooked the old way, i say old way because fish and chips do not taste any thing near what they used to.
The fish used to be firm with a crip batter, not soggy and soft as served in fish and chip shops nowadays, i think they used lard to fry with then i may be wrong though, any ways up there must be a method to bring back the crispy batter.

 

[~christina~]

The best batter for fish, i guess you Americans have never tasted fish and chips cooked the old way, i say old way because fish and chips do not taste any thing near what they used to.
The fish used to be firm with a crip batter, not soggy and soft as served in fish and chip shops nowadays, i think they used lard to fry with then i may be wrong though, any ways up there must be a method to bring back the crispy batter.

My fish 'n chips are not soggy. Lard isn't good for your health either.

 

[WarPhalange]

Ugh, lard? No thanks.

 

[Evo]

Ugh, lard? No thanks.

Lard tastes best for frying potatoes.

 

[wolram]

I said lard, more beef dripping, far and away the best thing to fry potatoes in as Evo said, i am sure non of these fancy oils existed way back when.
We used to eat beef dripping sarnies.

 

[turbo]

Lard can be held at a much higher temperature without smoking than cooking oils and shortening. This means that they crisp the breading much better and more quickly, which results in less fat absorption into the breading, and a lighter, healthier meal. There is nothing wrong about using lard for deep-frying - it is a superior fat with a high smoke-point, and it got some really bad press from people pushing alternative fats that have more recently proven to be quite unhealthy for our cardiovascular systems.

 

[wolram]

Turbo, they do not bread the fish in fish and chip shops, they just have a thick gloopy batter they dip the fish in, years ago one could buy bags of scratchings ,the bits left over from frying but not now as i am sure the oil they use saturates the batter.

 

[turbo]

Turbo, they do not bread the fish in fish and chip shops, they just have a thick gloopy batter they dip the fish in, years ago one could buy bags of scratchings ,the bits left over from frying but not now as i am sure the oil they use saturates the batter.

Here in the US, we sometimes call batter "breading". Most deep-fried fish in the US has a batter of some sort. Clam-shops in Maine sometimes guard their batter recipes like gold. A friend of mine worked in a place that was famous for their fried clams, and his home-made fried clams are to die for. One secret is powdered mustard in the batter, though I never managed to pry the recipe out of him.

 

[Evo]

Oh dear.

I am watching the "National Chicken cooking contest" on the Food Network and some of the contestants were given their chickens breasts and these contestants are complaining that "these are HUGE, they are the BIGGEST chicken breasts I have ever seen, there is NO WAY I can cook something this large and have it done in time". Another contestant, "all around me I hear people pounding these HUGE OVERSIZED chicken breasts".

They show the "HUGE, OVERSIZED chicken breasts.



They are normal sized whole chicken breasts. Apparently these competitors have never seen a whole chicken breast, they have only worked with the store cut half breasts.

Uhm people, you cut the whole breast into two halves. OMG.

In case anyone here has never seen a whole chicken breast and how to cut them in two, here you go. Picture #6

http://www.gourmetsleuth.com/cutupchicken.htm

 

[~christina~]

Speaking of the Food Network, I heard that, chef Michal Simon is going to be doing, Dinner Impossible . I can't watch him do that of course, but in my opinion, I wouldn't watch the show with him doing the cooking. Is it his goatee? or his bald head? or is it that smirk that says, I know it all => http://www.wisdairy.com/AllAboutCheese/ChefAmbassador/images/MichaelSimon-med.jpg

I liked, chef Robert Irvine, even if he was a liar. It's not like he bragged about his fake resume during the cooking.

I remember that I was watching Pat and Gina from, Down home with the Neely's at my friend's house, and they were traveling around and trying sweet stuff in random stores, they're funny and work well together. I was drooling after I saw them try the ice cream from this organic ice cream store. They had, corn flavoured and basil flavoured ice cream! Yum!

 

[LowlyPion]

I liked, chef Robert Irvine, even if he was a liar. It's not like he bragged about his fake resume during the cooking.

Yes, but could you believe him when he said it tasted good?

His credibility was shot.

 

[~christina~]

Yes, but could you believe him when he said it tasted good?

His credibility was shot.

I didn't base his cooking on what he said, I based it on what the people who ate his food said.

 

[LowlyPion]

I didn't base his cooking on what he said, I based it on what the people who ate his food said.

Not to be too contentious here because I see those shows as entertainment, not that much to be believed to begin with, but as a producer/director of the show do you think you would air clips of people spitting out food and complaining about how bad it tasted?

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Oh dear.

I am watching the "National Chicken cooking contest" on the Food Network and some of the contestants were given their chickens breasts and these contestants are complaining that "these are HUGE, they are the BIGGEST chicken breasts I have ever seen, there is NO WAY I can cook something this large and have it done in time". Another contestant, "all around me I hear people pounding these HUGE OVERSIZED chicken breasts".

They show the "HUGE, OVERSIZED chicken breasts.



They are normal sized whole chicken breasts. Apparently these competitors have never seen a whole chicken breast, they have only worked with the store cut half breasts.

Uhm people, you cut the whole breast into two halves. OMG.

In case anyone here has never seen a whole chicken breast and how to cut them in two, here you go. Picture #6

http://www.gourmetsleuth.com/cutupchicken.htm

The other day I bought a tray of bonless skinless chicken breast steaks. I thought that there were going to be three or four in there but when I opened it up it was only TWO! If I had thought about it I would have halved them before I froze them.
I'm used to the size of chicken breast you get in a fast food place. Maybe they shrink quite a bit when cooked though.

 

[~christina~]

Not to be too contentious here because I see those shows as entertainment, not that much to be believed to begin with, but as a producer/director of the show do you think you would air clips of people spitting out food and complaining about how bad it tasted?

Okay well, I wasn't planning on actually attending a cookoff by him, so it doesn't matter to me. It's all entertainment, exactly like you said. The success of a show all depends on:
a) looks b) humour c) entertainment value

 

[Moonbear]

Oh dear.

I am watching the "National Chicken cooking contest" on the Food Network and some of the contestants were given their chickens breasts and these contestants are complaining that "these are HUGE, they are the BIGGEST chicken breasts I have ever seen, there is NO WAY I can cook something this large and have it done in time". Another contestant, "all around me I hear people pounding these HUGE OVERSIZED chicken breasts".

They show the "HUGE, OVERSIZED chicken breasts.



They are normal sized whole chicken breasts. Apparently these competitors have never seen a whole chicken breast, they have only worked with the store cut half breasts.

Uhm people, you cut the whole breast into two halves. OMG.

In case anyone here has never seen a whole chicken breast and how to cut them in two, here you go. Picture #6

http://www.gourmetsleuth.com/cutupchicken.htm

They must not know the difference between a chicken cutlet and a whole chicken breast. I caught part of that show, and didn't stick around to watch the rest. It was really lame. It's not even that hard to figure out where to cut the breast in half. There's a natural separation between the two muscles that make it up.

Edit: Oh, I just followed your link. You're talking about a whole vs half breast as in not divided from the breast bone yet. I was thinking they got the halves, but they didn't know why they were so thick...they can be split again into cutlets, which is often what stores sell as boneless chicken breast.

 

[Evo]

They must not know the difference between a chicken cutlet and a whole chicken breast. I caught part of that show, and didn't stick around to watch the rest. It was really lame. It's not even that hard to figure out where to cut the breast in half. There's a natural separation between the two muscles that make it up.

Edit: Oh, I just followed your link. You're talking about a whole vs half breast as in not divided from the breast bone yet. I was thinking they got the halves, but they didn't know why they were so thick...they can be split again into cutlets, which is often what stores sell as boneless chicken breast.

These were actually a whole breast with the bone removed, but it still has enough connective tissue that you have to cut it in two to get two halves.

This is probably a better explanation with pictures of cutting the deboned whole breast in two, but he's made a mess of boning that poor chicken.

http://www.cookingforengineers.com/article/123/Boning-Chicken-Breast

 

[turbo]

Where do these people come from? When I was a kid, we ate mostly egg-laying birds. Roosters were culled out when they were fairly young and still tender, and when the sitting hens became non-productive (they were often large by that time) we ate them, too. The old hens could be tough, unless you roasted them for hours in a very moist environment until the meat was practically falling off the bone. Since those birds cooked for a very long time, they were generally stuffed with stale bread and seasonings, with onions and some egg to make the stuffing bind better. The young birds were not often stuffed, but were roasted whole at a higher temp or were cut apart so they could be broiled or BBQ'd. The difference in size could be impressive. Apparently, these people have never handled chicken (as an animal) and have only dealt with the processed meat (already eviscerated, boned, and cut up). How did these people end up in a "National Chicken Cooking Contest" with that level of "expertise"?

 

[Moonbear]

Where do these people come from?

Cities. I was sitting out on the Esplanade, reading a book the other day, and a woman with her son walks by. The little boy looked about 4 or 5. I didn't hear the first part as they were walking toward me, but I heard the mother respond, "Yes, water comes from a water fountain," and then the boy answer, "Sometimes it comes from a bottle." The Esplanade is a nice park/walking area along the Hudson River. Why the little boy is being told water comes from a fountain or bottle when right next to the river filled with...WATER...I don't know. I told my boyfriend about it later, then remarked, "She probably tells him his meat comes from styrofoam packages too."

 

[lisab]

When my daughter was 3 or 4, she knew chickens laid eggs (we had several hens in our back yard), but she thought that pigs laid hams.

Sometimes the hardest thing about being a parent is trying not to laugh at them.

 

[turbo]

Cities. I was sitting out on the Esplanade, reading a book the other day, and a woman with her son walks by. The little boy looked about 4 or 5. I didn't hear the first part as they were walking toward me, but I heard the mother respond, "Yes, water comes from a water fountain," and then the boy answer, "Sometimes it comes from a bottle." The Esplanade is a nice park/walking area along the Hudson River. Why the little boy is being told water comes from a fountain or bottle when right next to the river filled with...WATER...I don't know. I told my boyfriend about it later, then remarked, "She probably tells him his meat comes from styrofoam packages too."

Man, that's discouraging! I hope the kid has some good teachers in school because his mother is so stupid that she should have had her tubes tied for the benefit of the gene pool.

 

[Moonbear]

When my daughter was 3 or 4, she knew chickens laid eggs (we had several hens in our back yard), but she thought that pigs laid hams.

Sometimes the hardest thing about being a parent is trying not to laugh at them.

Oh, I nearly laughed at the kid telling his mom in all seriousness that water can come from bottles too...you know, the way that only a 5 year old can try to sound serious when sharing something they are sure they know that their parents don't. It was adorably cute, just sad that the mom wasn't correcting this in a perfect place to explain.

 

[Moonbear]

Man, that's discouraging! I hope the kid has some good teachers in school because his mother is so stupid that she should have had her tubes tied for the benefit of the gene pool.

And she had a second on the way too. Maybe I should try to give the benefit of the doubt though, and assume she was just tired and worn out or in a hurry to get somewhere with him and was just humoring his banter to keep him moving along.