Questioning Unnecessary Tasks: Why Fold Underwear?

[Gokul43201]

That's the spirit! Maybe some scented candles and a backrub. None of this, "whose turn is it to masterbate the rhino" stuff.

Barry playing in the background..."Let the music play..."

Some candles glowing..."I just want to dance the night away..."

The music pulsating with the rythym... "Here, right here, right here..."

The scent of jasmine in the fragrant smoke..."is where I’m going to stay

Boom-chucka-wow-wow, "All night long...,"

Rhino love baby..." ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, wee"

Oh yeah.

(verse from Barry White's song "Let the Music Play")

Priceless ! If there's more rhinos in the party, I'd recommend Lionel Richie's version of 'All Night Long'.

Lionel Richie - All Night Long

Well, my friends, the time has come
To raise the roof and have some fun
Throw away the work to be done
Let the music play on
(play on, play on)
Everbody sing, everybody dance
Lose yourself in wild romance

We're going to party
Karamu, fiesta, forever
Come on and sing along!
We're going to party
Karamu, fiesta, forever
Come onand sing along!
We're going to party
Karamu, fiesta, forever
Come on and sing along!
All night long! (all night)
All night long! (all night)
All night long! (all night)

People dancing all in the street
See the rhythm all in their feet
Life is good wild and sweet
Let the music play on
(play on, play on)
Feel it in your heart
And feel it in your soul
Let the music take control

We're going to party
Liming, fiesta, forever
Come on and sing my song!
All night long! (all night)
All night long! (all night)
All night long! (all night)
All night long! (all night)

Yeah, once you get started
You can't sit down
Come join the fun
It's a merry go round
Everyone's dancing
Their troubles away
Come join our party
See how we play!


Oh, yes
We're going to have a party!
All night long! (all night)
All night long! (all night)
All night long! (all night)
All night long!

Everyone you meet
They're jamming in the street
All night long
Yeah, I said, everyone you meet
They're jamming in the street
All night long!
Feel good! feel good!

 

[Evo]

Priceless ! If there's more rhinos in the party, I'd recommend Lionel Richie's version of 'All Night Long'.

Oh yeah. If that doesn't get those rhinos going, nothing will.

Of course, Ravel's "Bolero" seems appropriate for some reason. Hey, it worked for Bo Derek & Dudley Moore in "Ten".

 

[Ivan Seeking]

The electroejaculator, or the mounting dummy?

I'm still thinking...

 

[Moonbear]

I'm still thinking...

Well, are you intending it for home use or for someone you really don't like much?

In case you need help deciding between the two, here are some examples of how each is used:

http://www.cornellurology.com/uro/cornell/infertility/srt/electroejaculation.shtml

http://mark.asci.ncsu.edu/HealthyHogs/book1997/althouse2.htm

 

[Gokul43201]

Oh yeah. If that doesn't get those rhinos going, nothing will.

Of course, Ravel's "Bolero" seems appropriate for some reason. Hey, it worked for Bo Derek & Dudley Moore in "Ten".

Actually, if you remember, I didn't.

 

[Evo]

Actually, if you remember, I didn't.

You didn't?

 

[Artman]

There are lingo/euphemisms that wouldn't raise much of an eyebrow if overheard by an audience. Usually, one would ask, "Who's going to collect the rhino." When working in zoos full of small children with big ears, it just sounds like you're going to lead the rhino into its pen.

Of course when they start leading it by its wiener the kids get suspicious.

 

[dextercioby]

Of course when they start leading it by its wiener the kids get suspicious.

Well,there's always the "massage" excuse... The poor (growing ) thing is in big pain and nothing's better than a massage and a kappaiottasigmasigma on the forehead...



Why did u chose Barry White?

Daniel.

 

[Artman]

You didn't?

I did!

 

[Artman]

Why did u chose Barry White?

Barry White is the mood maker (Well back in my day anyway). Don't you think the words work great?

 

[dextercioby]

Yes,but not with biologists sexually satisfying rhinos for the "scientific" purpose of "collecting"...

Daniel.

 

[Gokul43201]

You didn't?

Aargh ! I meant, "it didn't". As in "Bolero didn't real help them get it on". If I recall correctly, Bo seemed too into the music, and Dudley just gave up and walked out.

 

[franznietzsche]

Oh yeah. If that doesn't get those rhinos going, nothing will.

Of course, Ravel's "Bolero" seems appropriate for some reason. Hey, it worked for Bo Derek & Dudley Moore in "Ten".

BOLERO??!

how?

how?!

You don't get down to bolero. Malaguena maybe, but not bolero.

 

[BobG]

Well, are you intending it for home use or for someone you really don't like much?

In case you need help deciding between the two, here are some examples of how each is used:

http://www.cornellurology.com/uro/cornell/infertility/srt/electroejaculation.shtml

http://mark.asci.ncsu.edu/HealthyHogs/book1997/althouse2.htm

Oh, thanks. You just find the best sites to link us to.

If there were any of us left that hadn't been scarred by Artman's Barry White songs, you certainly finished the job.

I can't believe this thread hasn't been added to the General Discussion Classics (just so it's available to scar future members, you know).

 

[franznietzsche]

Oh, thanks. You just find the best sites to link us to.

If there were any of us left that hadn't been scarred by Artman's Barry White songs, you certainly finished the job.

I can't believe this thread hasn't been added to the General Discussion Classics (just so it's available to scar future members, you know).

THis thread is classic, i mean, Barry white, rhino love, electro ejaculators and bolero!

What more could you want?

 

[Moonbear]

Oh, thanks. You just find the best sites to link us to.

You're welcome. I notice Ivan has been conspicuously silent about which one he wants after I posted those links. He's probably really afraid of which one Tsu wants to play with.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I'm still thinking...

 

[Moonbear]

I'm still thinking...

Planning on breeding skunks soon?

 

[Artman]

Sung to the tune of "Muskrat Love"

"Rhino Love"
By Artman

Rhino, rhino candlelight
Doin' the rhino and doin' it right
In the evenin'
It's pretty pleasin'

Rhino Susie, Biologist Sam
Grabin’ the rhino and give him a hand
And they shimmy
Sammy's hands are so chilly!

And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
listening to Barry and Bolero
Floatin' like the heavens above
It looks like rhino love

Grabin’ his bacon, churnin' his cheese
Sammy says to Susie "Honey, would you please be collected?"
And he say yes
That’s what I expected.

And now he's ticklin' his fancy
Rubbin' his toes,
electro ejaculators and bolero
As they wriggle, and Sue starts to giggle

And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
Listening to Barry and Bolero
Floatin' like the heavens above
It looks like rhino love

La da da da da ...

:!) :!)

 

[Evo]

Sung to the tune of "Muskrat Love"

I think tribdog's going to have some stiff competition in the next guru election!

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I'm dying here!

 

[Moonbear]

I think tribdog's going to have some stiff competition in the next guru election!

Stiff, huh?

 

[Tsu]

Pssssssss, hey, Moonbear, where can I pick up one of those...

YEAH! That could be FUN!11 'Specially with ME at the controls! WOOHOOOOOO!11111 (I'll wear our favorite 'habit'. )

 

[Gokul43201]

Rhino Love was awesome ! Too funny !

 

[tribdog]

The Rhino's hard tonight (sung to the Beatle's It's been a Hard Days Night)

The Rhino's hard tonight, and I wish he was dog.
The rhino's hard tonight and it's bigger than a log.
Cause rhinocerous sperm doesn't come from a worm
No this guy's penis is huge.

I've got to lube my hands, before I grab on to his rod.
and if I piss him off, I'll soon be meeting with my god.
So I stroke nice and slow, just like a dirty ol' ho.
Does it feel ohkay?

I just hope. I'm doing this right
should I be, gripping his manhood this tight, tight? yeah

The rhino's hard tonight, and I think he's going to blow.
The rhino's hard tonight, but he's standing on my toe.
So I let out a scream, that's what was needed it seems.
Cause he started to come.

The rhino let out a moan, then he left me alone.
You know I feel so used.

My job is done, I guess I did it all right.
I've collected the sperm, 5 gallons of it. Quite a sight

Now I'm hard tonight, I guess this turned me on.
Now I'm hard all right, but everyone is gone.
I've still got lube on my hand, so I'll add to this can.
I've become quite a pro.
Now it's 5 gallons or so.
My new son's a rhino.

 

[tribdog]

I started writing Rhino Masterbation to the tune of Anticipation by Carly Simon, but decided against it.

 

[dextercioby]

I'm sorry to tell u that (bull***, I'm happy as ever ),but i think the girls are disgusted with your lyrics,the ones posted above...

Daniel.

 

[Artman]

I like it Tribdog, got to keep those rhinos happy.

I was considering "Comfortably Come" to the tune of "Comforably Numb," but thought better of it as well.

 

[Artman]

I think we need another song, maybe something a little more mellow.

To the tune of "Afternoon Delight" by the Starland Vocal Band:

"Rhino's Delight"
By Artman

Gonna find my rhino, going to hold him tight
Gonna grab his horn with all my might.
My motto's always been; when it's right, it's right.
With candles and the music, yeah it’s Barry white.
When everything's a little clearer in the light of day.
And the biologist’s determined to have his way.

Sky rockets in flight. Rhino’s delight. Rhino’s delight.

The Biologist is workin' up his appetite
looking forward to a little bit o' rhino delight.
Rubbin' sticks and hands together makes the sparks ignite
and the thought of rubbin' rhino’s getting so exciting.

Sky rockets in flight. Rhino’s delight. Rhino’s delight.

Started out this morn to collect the rhinoceros
Ejaculators helpin till its got some sores
Rhino mounts the dummy to get-r-done
The rhino seems to have himself a little fun

Sky rockets in flight. Rhino’s delight. Rhino’s delight.

Please be waiting for the rhino when he comes around.
He could make a lot of lovin' 'for the sun goes down.

Sky rockets in flight. Rhino’s delight. Rhino’s delight.

Repeat chorus.

 

[franznietzsche]

YEAH! That could be FUN!11 'Specially with ME at the controls! WOOHOOOOOO!11111 (I'll wear our favorite 'habit'. )

Run Ivan. Just run.

 

[Artman]

Run Ivan. Just run.

We need a song for Ivan and Tsu.

Sung to the tune of “Boy Named Sue”
Ballad of Ivan and Tsu (Special appearance of Moonbear)
By Artman

Been visiting PF a couple a' years maybe three,
wife comes here too, it’s Tsu and me...
Just visit here prit near all the time we do.
Now, I don't blame Moonbear cause she run and hid,
But the meanest thing that she ever did
Was leave an electroejaculator with Tsu.

Well, she must o' thought that is was quite a joke,
Tsu thinks it’s funny when she gives me a poke.
It seems I had to fight most nights through.
Tsu would giggle and I'd get red,
When she brings that contraption into bed.
I tell ya, life ain't easy with a wife named 'Tsu'.

Well, I grow up quick, (if you know what I mean,)
My ___ got harder and my wits got keen.
I'd roam from forum to forum and you would too.
But I made me a vow to the moon and who
That I'd search the rhino pens and zoos,
And get that awful person who gave an electroejaculator to Tsu .

Well, I knew that woman was my own Moonbear
From a picture of a nun her avatar,
And I knew that nun’s attire and her fuzzy guy.
She was smiling and laughing, sneaky and bold
And I looked at her and my blood ran cold,
And I said: "My name is 'Ivan' How do you do! Now you going to die!"

Well, I hit her hard right in the habit,
And she went down, just like a rabbit,
And come up with a electroejaculator all her own.
Now let’s be reasonable I heard me say
What ya’ going to do with that anyway?
Tsu’s the only one can use one of those on me.

“I’ll give her another for her other hand,”
My mind went blank just about then,
Oh my God, I thought, This is the end of me.
Moonbear just stood there laughing and grinnin’,
There just ain’t no way you’ll be winnin’
Against the sisters of Physics Forums GD.

And then she said: "this world is rough,
And if a man's going to make it, he's got to be tough,
And I know I wouldn't be there to help you along.
So I give Tsu an electroejaculator and I said good-bye.
I knew you'd have to get tough or die,
And it's that gizmo that helped to make you strong."

She said: "Now you just fought one hell of a fight,
And I know you hate me, and you got the right
To kill me now, and I wouldn't blame you if you do.
But you ought to thank me, before I die,
For the shocks down below and the bulging in your fly
Cause I'm the sister that gave the electroejaculator to Tsu."

I got all choked up and I lowered my hand
And I called her my sis, and she called me Ivan,
And I come away with a different point of view.
And I think about her, when I hear Barry White,
Or when the candles are glowing by the bed at night,
And if I ever have a son, I hope he’ll take my advice,
Give your wife flowers or candy anything but that torture device that belongs to Tsu!

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I really don't know what to say... Why do I feel like a victim here?

Anyway, I'm really busy right now. ...can't find those darned B. White albums...

 

[Moonbear]

We need a song for Ivan and Tsu.

Sung to the tune of “Boy Named Sue”
Ballad of Ivan and Tsu (Special appearance of Moonbear)
By Artman

If this thread wasn't worthy of "classic" status before, I think there can be no doubt anymore!

 

[Moonbear]

I really don't know what to say... Why do I feel like a victim here?

Aww, don't worry, Tsu and I are working on a really special batch of cookies for you.

 

[Artman]

Why do I feel like a victim here?

Electro scorce marks? Sorry, Ivan, couldn't resist.

IAnyway, I'm really busy right now. ...can't find those darned B. White albums...