Stop Posting Creepy Dating Advice - Seek Professional Help

[K.J.Healey]

How about a thread about realizing that you're happier alone after a lifetime of trying to accommodate someone else?

I see this constant unhappiness and searching for love among single people.

I don't even know how I would manage to spare the time to date someone. I get home from work mentally exhausted. I do the cat/dog maintenance, eat something, get things ready for work the next morning, go to bed, wake up, go to work, come home exhausted - rinse, repeat.

The weekends are spent running errands, cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking and packaging meals for the coming week, then my reward is a few hours on chat while cooking and doing laundry.

I rarely have the presence of mind to respond thoughtfully to an e-mail, much less actually entertain someone.

Love is for the young and energetic.

I see it as more of a 'finding someone to share all those menial tasks with' search. Someone that makes those weekends running errands a little more bearable. Someone who you can please with your home cooked meals.

The problem is, especially for a lot of us "science types" is that we are pretty much bred to be independent. So if we don't find someone to share our life with, we don't even feel like we're missing something. Being alone just isn't that lonely. There are lots of things that need to get done, we have a fairly easy time finding hobbies to fill any spare time. There are always friends and family if you actually do get lonely (rare). Usually we don't need to vent emotion, discuss our worries, or seek approval from/with someone. So it makes that dependency that a LOT of other people have pretty much null.

Anyone agree? Maybe its just me. :) (* Though I do have a girlfriend of 4 years... *)

 

[GCT]

The popular conception is that loneliest job in the world is as a writer ... the second is in research. In some countries you actually get more girls being either or e.g. France where intellectualism is admired. The US is not one of them.

 

[Evo]

I see it as more of a 'finding someone to share all those menial tasks with' search. Someone that makes those weekends running errands a little more bearable. Someone who you can please with your home cooked meals.

The problem is, especially for a lot of us "science types" is that we are pretty much bred to be independent. So if we don't find someone to share our life with, we don't even feel like we're missing something. Being alone just isn't that lonely. There are lots of things that need to get done, we have a fairly easy time finding hobbies to fill any spare time. There are always friends and family if you actually do get lonely (rare). Usually we don't need to vent emotion, discuss our worries, or seek approval from/with someone. So it makes that dependency that a LOT of other people have pretty much null.

Anyone agree? Maybe its just me. :) (* Though I do have a girlfriend of 4 years... *)

I agree.

I wouldn't mind being in a stable relationship where the other person carries their own weight and I don't wind up as their chef, accountant, housekeeper, appointment maker, and general caretaker. I want to bypass the first part of the relationship that requires time and effort and just have the "settled in" portion. You know, after you've lived with someone for a few years and they are secure enough that you aren't going to leave them that they allow you to read a book by yourself for a couple of hours without feelings of abandonment.

Anyone that feels they are ready to start a relationship with year 5, we can talk. Oh, you must like squirrels. And you must be a good cook. And take care of yourself. And have money. Two cars in working condition a major plus.

 

[LightbulbSun]

I seriously hope this thread wasn't started because of my thread.

 

[Evo]

I seriously hope this thread wasn't started because of my thread.

No, this is due to the number of threads, I think there is one thread started in 2003 that had over 10,000 replies or something crazy like that.

 

[Astronuc]

I seriously hope this thread wasn't started because of my thread.

Nah - Cyrus just took the opportunity to vent.

I see it as more of a 'finding someone to share all those menial tasks with' search. Someone that makes those weekends running errands a little more bearable. Someone who you can please with your home cooked meals.

The problem is, especially for a lot of us "science types" is that we are pretty much bred to be independent. So if we don't find someone to share our life with, we don't even feel like we're missing something. Being alone just isn't that lonely. There are lots of things that need to get done, we have a fairly easy time finding hobbies to fill any spare time. There are always friends and family if you actually do get lonely (rare). Usually we don't need to vent emotion, discuss our worries, or seek approval from/with someone. So it makes that dependency that a LOT of other people have pretty much null.

Anyone agree? Maybe its just me. :) (* Though I do have a girlfriend of 4 years... *)

It's more about sharing the mundane as well as the fun and exciting. I share in the house work, gardening/landscaping, and I do most of the home and car repair. I do all the heavy work, and much of the dirty work.

My wife and I enjoy doing our own thing, but we also find time to do things together.

I do most of the cooking, but there are time when my wife will cook something special that she likes to cook - although she really doesn't like to cook. I dislike shopping so I leave that to my wife.

We also look at for each other - and have done so for 27+ years.

 

[LightbulbSun]

No, this is due to the number of threads, I think there is one thread started in 2003 that had over 10,000 replies or something crazy like that.

Oh, I see. Well, I do think if you need serious advice on something that's going wrong in a relationship that it's better to seek out independent advice than it is to seek advice from friends and family because they tend to be more bias in your direction. However, I agree with Cyrus that just because a girl gives you a look doesn't mean someone should be asking if the two of them are going to get married someday.

 

[Astronuc]

Oh, I see. Well, I do think if you need serious advice on something that's going wrong in a relationship that it's better to seek out independent advice than it is to seek advice from friends and family because they tend to be more bias in your direction. However, I agree with Cyrus that just because a girl gives you a look doesn't mean someone should be asking if the two of them are going to get married someday.

No, it's best to get to know somebody before one 'falls in love' with them. Infatuation is just the first stage or intro.

I've known lots of girls/women, but there are only three that would be suitable for marriage (to me), and I married the first one, and the other two are dear friends.

 

[LightbulbSun]

No, it's best to get to know somebody before one 'falls in love' with them. Infatuation is just the first stage or intro.

I agree, but some situations do require extra help.

 

[fileen]

If you don't like the topic don't read it, no ones forcing you. Relationships are hard, some people have lots of experience and some people dont. A lot of young people come from split homes and therefore don't have a healthy relationship between their parents to use as an example. I think its disgusting that you would deny someone the advice they feel they need just because the topic irritates you. To a lot of young people relationships are the most emotionally important things in their lives. I personally like PF because I feel like I can come on here and discuss what ever is on my mind without being judged or mocked.

 

[B. Elliott]

Oh, you must like squirrels.

What kind of squirrels we talkin' bout? Eastern grays, Western, Japanese?

 

[NeoDevin]

Anyone that feels they are ready to start a relationship with year 5, we can talk. Oh, you must like squirrels. And you must be a good cook. And take care of yourself. And have money. Two cars in working condition a major plus.

I've got all of that except the money and cars. (I notice being single isn't on your list of requirements)

 

[JasonRox]

I agree.

I wouldn't mind being in a stable relationship where the other person carries their own weight and I don't wind up as their chef, accountant, housekeeper, appointment maker, and general caretaker. I want to bypass the first part of the relationship that requires time and effort and just have the "settled in" portion. You know, after you've lived with someone for a few years and they are secure enough that you aren't going to leave them that they allow you to read a book by yourself for a couple of hours without feelings of abandonment.

Anyone that feels they are ready to start a relationship with year 5, we can talk. Oh, you must like squirrels. And you must be a good cook. And take care of yourself. And have money. Two cars in working condition a major plus.

What if a man pulls his own weight without a car? Or without being wealthy?

What's your definite of pulling your own weight?

 

[K.J.Healey]

What kind of squirrels we talkin' bout? Eastern grays, Western, Japanese?

We had these amazing tiny dark brown squirrels up at Isle Royal National Park (lake superior, MI, USA) that would wake us up with their screech/chirp chatter chatter chatter at 5:30am. I've never heard anything like it.

 

[Evo]

What kind of squirrels we talkin' bout? Eastern grays, Western, Japanese?

I have grays, but all squirrels are welcome.

I've got all of that except the money and cars. (I notice being single isn't on your list of requirements)

Must be single.

What if a man pulls his own weight without a car? Or without being wealthy?

What's your definite of pulling your own weight?

I didn't say wealthy, he just needs to have enough money to cover his own expenses, my days of financially supporting men are over. He must be able to take care of his own needs. That doesn't mean I won't do things for him once in awhile, I'm just through with being my significant other's personal assistant/mother.

 

[Cyrus]

I seriously hope this thread wasn't started because of my thread.

Let's just say...your thread was no help and leave it at that. I'd seriously apply the last sentence of my OP. Seek professional help. Sorry, your post was creepy. Stalking people to see what they are up to? No, that's not acceptable behavior. Not even in joking.

I'm not trying to be funny here guys. Some of these post really seriously do creep me out when I read what you all are doing...


And then when someone posts a question, you always get someone responding with stuff like "yeah, that's why I just devote all my time to reading books and never interact with anyone outside of my basement"...as if that's serious advice (but sadly they are serious because they say it over and over again in multiple threads).

</blank stare>

 

[Moonbear]

That doesn't mean I won't do things for him once in awhile, I'm just through with being my significant other's personal assistant/mother.

I've always screened for that early in relationships, and they end quickly if that's the expectation. The current boyfriend is someone I've known for a very long time (we dated once before too, quite a long time ago, but "stuff" happened in between). Back then, he didn't even think I knew how to cook. I used to tell him that I only cooked what I could make in one pot. I wasn't lying, I was only in my first year of grad school and only HAD one pot, so everything had to be cooked in it. Not my fault if he interpreted that to mean I didn't know how to make things that required multiple pots, pans or bakeware. He stuck around anyway, and even cooked some delicious meals for me because he was worried I was too skinny and not eating enough! :!) So, in case anyone ever wondered why I'd want him back so many years later...he cooked AND complained I was TOO SKINNY, oh, and he thought I was too messy too...I'm not so bad about that anymore now that I have more house to store stuff in...but a guy who sees clutter?! That's a keeper!

 

[Evo]

You and your BF sound like you were meant to be together and just took different roads to get there.

For me, each road lead to opposite ends of the universe or ended in a fiery crash with no survivors.

 

[JasonRox]

I have grays, but all squirrels are welcome.

Must be single.

I didn't say wealthy, he just needs to have enough money to cover his own expenses, my days of financially supporting men are over. He must be able to take care of his own needs. That doesn't mean I won't do things for him once in awhile, I'm just through with being my significant other's personal assistant/mother.

Oh ok, just clearing that up.

I would never want to take care of someone else either, so we're in the same boat.

 

[B. Elliott]

I have grays, but all squirrels are welcome.

About ten years ago I raised a couple of grays after they fell out of a nest. I was mowing the front lawn and happened to notice two little things that looked like rats right in front of the mower... they were so close to getting chopped up. One was a male and the other was a female. Chip and Dale. They were so young their eyes probably opened up not too long before I found them... had to feed them with an eye dropper for a couple of weeks. When they got a little older, one thing they absolutely loved was Sandy's Pecan cookies.

The female was always sweet as can be and loved to be held. She was so attached that whenever she would hear a loud noise or something frightened her, she would dart over to me, run up my pants leg and cling onto my shirt as tight as can be. When the male started to develop an attitude problem (squirrel puberty?) I figured it was time to release them. They stopped by to visit off and on over a two year period and later just stopped visiting all together.

It was always fun taking them places to show them off to people. Everyone loved pet squirrels!

 

[LightbulbSun]

Let's just say...your thread was no help and leave it at that. I'd seriously apply the last sentence of my OP. Seek professional help. Sorry, your post was creepy. Stalking people to see what they are up to? No, that's not acceptable behavior. Not even in joking.

Um...that's not what my thread was about. It's obvious you didn't bother to read what I said in it. I am mentally fine thank you very much.

 

[BobG]

We had these amazing tiny dark brown squirrels up at Isle Royal National Park (lake superior, MI, USA) that would wake us up with their screech/chirp chatter chatter chatter at 5:30am. I've never heard anything like it.

About ten years ago I raised a couple of grays after they fell out of a nest. I was mowing the front lawn and happened to notice two little things that looked like rats right in front of the mower... they were so close to getting chopped up. One was a male and the other was a female. Chip and Dale. They were so young their eyes probably opened up not too long before I found them... had to feed them with an eye dropper for a couple of weeks. When they got a little older, one thing they absolutely loved was Sandy's Pecan cookies.

The female was always sweet as can be and loved to be held. She was so attached that whenever she would hear a loud noise or something frightened her, she would dart over to me, run up my pants leg and cling onto my shirt as tight as can be. When the male started to develop an attitude problem (squirrel puberty?) I figured it was time to release them. They stopped by to visit off and on over a two year period and later just stopped visiting all together.

It was always fun taking them places to show them off to people. Everyone loved pet squirrels!

These had better be female squirrels you're talking about, otherwise you're horribly off topic.

Personally, if you're talking about a female squirrel running up your pant leg and clinging to your shirt that's as tight as can be, then you might be beyond all girl advice.

 

[Moonbear]

Personally, if you're talking about a female squirrel running up your pant leg and clinging to your shirt that's as tight as can be, then you might be beyond all girl advice.

It might explain the girl trouble.

 

[B. Elliott]

These had better be female squirrels you're talking about, otherwise you're horribly off topic.

Personally, if you're talking about a female squirrel running up your pant leg and clinging to your shirt that's as tight as can be, then you might be beyond all girl advice.

One was a female. Funny though, she had more sense than some of the women I've dated.

 

[Cyrus]

Um...that's not what my thread was about. It's obvious you didn't bother to read what I said in it. I am mentally fine thank you very much.

You yourself said you made up a bogus screen name to trick your girlfriend to get information from her.

Seriously, you don't think this might be just a *little* creepy?

I truly am sorry your girlfriend broke your heart; however, that's no excuse for what you did.

This is not healthy behavior.

 

[Evo]

These videoa are from a wildlife rehabilitator, they're so cute.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnJ0JKX2QDk&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeC__wqOjAI&feature=related

 

[lisab]

Girls and squirrels.

 

[binzing]

]Mrs. Cyrus-is-hard

HA HA HA!...your best work yet, whether intentional or not...

 

[Cyrus]

 

[B. Elliott]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0A2moFdM1Yo&feature=related

 

[Cyrus]

http://members.cox.net/dogmatix/Thread%20Hijacked.JPG

 

[rootX]

squirells in relationships' thread?

 

[fileen]

I have a chinchilla, he's like a fat overly friendly, almost squirrel

 

[rootX]

Um...that's not what my thread was about. It's obvious you didn't bother to read what I said in it. I am mentally fine thank you very much.

look at your own thread like a year from now ...

 

[Cyrus]

I have a chinchilla, he's like a fat overly friendly, almost squirrel