Was My Gym Teacher Out of Line?

[Astronuc]

Most of my math and science teachers were great, highly competent, and highly dedicated. But then I had the best teachers in the high school, since I was in the honors/AP courses. We also used college textbooks during junior and senior years.

Many teachers were not as good, and some were just burned out. It can be tough being a teacher, especially with 25-30 with a huge variation in skill and behavior. There are kids who want to learn and others who, for whatever reason, just don't want to do the work. And teenagers have a variety of emotional issues they are going through - and then there are those who have to deal with bad situations at home.

When I taught at university, my approach to talk to the class, and let them know I was there to work with them. If anyone had problems, I let them know I was available. If a student did poorly, I'd make an effort to find out and work with the student. It didn't always work though.

I see education as a partnership btween teacher and student - not a peer-to-peer relationship, but a mentor to protégé relationship. This is also my approach to management. Adversarial relationships are counter-productive and useless.

protégé - one who is protected or trained or whose career is furthered by a person of experience, prominence, or influence.

In the OP, I think the reference to once a month meant that she was menstruating, and the gym suit was 'unclean'. But Moonbear is right in that the student is responsible to have the gym suit cleaned, or have an extra gym suit just in case.

It does appear that the teacher mishandled the situation.

I would hope that pinapples can find a way to repair the relationship with the teacher, even though the class is only a PE class.

 

[jimmy p]

No, it is not a joke. The water was cold (indoor, non-heated pool), the air was cold, and it was no fun standing around naked waiting to get in the water, nor was it fun having to walk naked past the gym teacher.

Can't have done much to boost a guy's ego with all that cold air and water. Bet the girls got a giggle though.

 

[Averagesupernova]

I really can't believe that ONE post has made this thread this long. I would not be surprised if the whole incident didn't even happen and the OP is sitting back watching all of you go on and on and on and on and on and laughing uncontrollably about how it appears none of you have anything better to do. One post (her first and only post) does not warrant 5 pages worth of discussion.
-
Astro, I would say one possible reason that they made you swim nakey was to bring everyone down to the same level. Humiliate every last one of you and then build you up to what they want the same way the military does. Also, being disiplined while naked seems to have MUCH more effect.

 

[franzbaer]

I really can't believe that ONE post has made this thread this long. I would not be surprised if the whole incident didn't even happen and the OP is sitting back watching all of you go on and on and on and on and on and laughing uncontrollably about how it appears none of you have anything better to do. One post (her first and only post) does not warrant 5 pages worth of discussion.

Have you read TKC? One post, just one, spawned well over ten thousand replies. And it created me. The power of one post is not easily dismissed.

 

[Averagesupernova]

Actually franz, you have just illustrated my point VERY well. It could be any of us.

 

[franzbaer]

Actually franz, you have just illustrated my point VERY well. It could be any of us.

Maybe sullying with humans has lowered my intellegence, but I can't make head or tails of this. What could be any of us, how did I make your point? I don't get it?

 

[Astronuc]

I really can't believe that ONE post has made this thread this long. I would not be surprised if the whole incident didn't even happen and the OP is sitting back watching all of you go on and on and on and on and on and laughing uncontrollably about how it appears none of you have anything better to do. One post (her first and only post) does not warrant 5 pages worth of discussion.

That very well could be the case, which brings up the matters of "why people post" and "why do people post/write what they post/write".

For me, I give the poster the benefit of doubt and respond at my discretion.

The OP describes a conflict between student (ostensibly the poster) and teacher. That is probably not uncommon for the population at PF, most of whom appear to be students, and then there are those of us who have taught.

So my approach is to consider the sitution, whether fiction or not, and post my thoughts in hopes that it provides some help to the OP as well as to others who might find themselves in a similar situation.

I am afterall a perpertual student and teacher, and I am inherently and insatiably curious. I learn something new everyday, and I willingly share what I learn with others. Hopefully what I share is useful and meaningful to others.

 

[FredGarvin]

I really can't believe that ONE post has made this thread this long. I would not be surprised if the whole incident didn't even happen and the OP is sitting back watching all of you go on and on and on and on and on and laughing uncontrollably...

I thought the same thing too. It is indeed possible. I'd like to think we're off the radar for moronic trolling, but we may not be any longer.

One post (her first and only post) does not warrant 5 pages worth of discussion.

Start a thread that asks how a parent would handle a certain situation. I'd bet it would go on for ever. I think it's the same kind of thing here.

 

[Astronuc]

Perhaps we need a Dear Abby thread?

 

[arildno]

I didn't dress out for gym because my gymsuit was freaking nasty dirty.

You KNEW you were having gym today. Why did you CHOOSE not to get it cleaned before your lesson?
Why did you actively eschew something you knew might well happen?

Thats not a big deal, it's a once a month thing,

Sure it is. Now, you are trivializing your sabotage of your physical edfucation

but he SINGALED me out of the whole class for it

Which is something you deserve.

when two other ppl do this every day.

This isn't true, you know this.

Anyway, we were doing this fitness day thing. stuuuuuupid.

And you're not the one to refrain from saying so, and actively disrupt the teacher's plans for the day, are you?

So Then, I started walking to the locker room.

Who the heck gave you permission to do that?
Stop acting like a self-important brat.

He said, "Maggie where are you going?"

Perfectly rational behaviour from his side.

and I said "The bathroom" and he said "Finsih this first".

Again, correctly handled by him.

So I finished the stupid station I was at.

And you didn't bother from saying so, did you?

Then I went. I got back out, and he's mad at me!

He had every reason to be that.

"I said FINSIH this first!" and I was like, "I did!" and he said, "I meant the whole ting course!" HOW was I supposed to know??

Because he had said so to the entire class; what makes you so damn special?
Why do you deserve to get off lighter than others?

That doesn't even make sense!

Yes it does.


I could go on and on. You sound like an atrocious little spoiled brat.

 

[BobG]

Perhaps we need a Dear Abby thread?

Dear Abby, Dear Abby ...
My feet are too long
My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong
My friends they all tell me that I've no friends at all
Won't you write me a letter, Won't you give me a call
Signed Bewildered

Bewildered, Bewildered...

You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood
... and quit bugging these people you keep calling friends

Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
My fountain pen leaks
My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks
Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed
If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead
Signed Unhappy

Unhappy, Unhappy...
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood
... and go whittle yourself a pencil


Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
You won't believe this
But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss
My girlfriend tells me It's all in my head
But my stomach tells me to write you instead
Signed Noise-maker

Noise-maker, Noise-maker
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood
... and don't drink Old Milwaukee on the same nights you have Pace Picante Sauce

Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
Well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught
We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
Signed Just Married

Just Married, Just Married...
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood
... and I hope your wife's name is Lorena

 

[Dawguard]

I could go on and on. You sound like an atrocious little spoiled brat.

Wow, arildno, you really say what you mean, don't you? I agree with you though, and I thank you for saying something I probably wouldn't have, but something that still needed saying.

 

[pineapples]

You're a spoiled little brat which means you are an average 8th grade kid. Just realize that in 5 or so years you'll realize what a little moron you were and you'll move on with your life. At least we hope so.

Nice first post. I can think of no better way to introduce yourself to a forum of strangers than an emo outburst. I want those 2 minutes of my life back that I used to read it.

Jason, I think I have to agree with Pallidin. Blanket statements like that to someone, who is obviously trolling for comments like that, are not productive and help no one.

Wow, you must be a really nice person FredGarvin. Just to let you know, this IS NOT my first post! God I'm not THAT stupid! My old screen name is totallyclueless, but I got a new one. OK??
Why bother coming here? If I show any opinion or personality at all, people say I need an "attitude adjustment" or people shoot me down just because I'm young and don't have a PhD!

 

[pineapples]

Ugh! I can't say anything on here without every word being analyzed, most of the time in a mean close-minded way! I asked if my teacher was out of line, NOT if you liked me or thought I was a brat!
You don't have to waste your lives reading or responding to this if you don't want to! Keep your rude comments to yourself

 

[pineapples]

OK, when I said he was ugly and wrinkly, I was obviously just being dramatic. I was really mad when I wrote that. That's just how I felt at the time. I should have said so. When I said I was sending hate vibes, I should have figured you wouldn't understand and think I sounded stupid. What's the word to explain it? I couldn't think of anything so I just said hate vibes. But I'm serious, there are two people in my class who NEVER dress out and one of them seriously does have way more attitude than me. He's never done that to her. And I'm not dramatizing the whole incident! He really upset me. I guess you had to be there. If you still think I'm a spoiled, stupid brat, you can just go right on thinking that. I've had people call me much worse than that but none of it is true.

 

[zeronem]

Ugh! I can't say anything on here without every word being analyzed, most of the time in a mean close-minded way! I asked if my teacher was out of line, NOT if you liked me or thought I was a brat!
You don't have to waste your lives reading or responding to this if you don't want to! Keep your rude comments to yourself

Then you posted this in the wrong place. You shouldn't post here if your not expecting every word and sentence to be analyzed by others thoroughly. All your going to run into at this forum are few Scientists and many Scientist wannabe's.

I suggest if you want to get nice answers, go to a forum that might be specifically for this topic.

 

[pineapples]

Well, with that last line, someone who was once an 8th grade girl is definitely going to respond.

The teacher is not out of line to chastise you for not wearing your gym suit. If it was to the point of being so "nasty filthy" that you couldn't stand to wear it, you should have taken it home to wash quite some time ago. The reason you're not supposed to participate in gym class in your street clothes is the same reason that gym suit is "nasty filthy," because you work up a sweat and stink, and by changing clothes, you aren't walking around subjecting everyone to that sweat and stink all day long (they might be more lenient if gym is your last class of the day and you're going straight home).

Having been an 8th grade girl once, the concept of letting your gym clothes get that nasty is, well, nasty in and of itself. We all took our gym clothes home on Friday, laundered them on the weekend, and returned with them on Monday. And we got yelled at and were not permitted to participate if we forgot our gym clothes on Monday (and yes, this led to the occassional frantic phone call to mom the moment the forgetfulness was realized, just hoping she'd be able to get out of work long enough to drop the gym clothes off at school before gym class, so we wouldn't get a 0 for the day for not participating due to lack of appropriate clothing, or we hoped our friends had enough spare clothing to make do).

There is also never any point in trying to justify your own misconduct by pointing out that others are doing it. There may be a very good reason the teacher doesn't chastise the others who do not change into gym clothing, such as they are already failing and it's not worth the hassle anymore. You have no way to know that, and it's none of your business. You know the rules and are supposed to follow them.

As for it being "stupid," I'm sure that's exactly the attitude the teacher picked up on. Instead of saying, "I'm sorry, I forgot to take my gym clothes home to wash and they are too dirty to wear today," or, "I know, I'm sorry, is it possible I could borrow some from somebody," you probably just rolled your eyes and muttered under your breath. That's the attitude that's coming across in the opening post.

By the way, there is also no reason that an honors student cannot get an A in gym class. Gym class is usually graded on effort and improvement much more than actual skill. I was horrible in gym class for anything that required running, because I'm just a slow runner. So, whether it was softball or soccer or the 600 meter run, I was the one who never made it to first base, or got the ball passed to me, and was dead last, huffing and puffing when I completed the run, but I always tried my hardest, worked on improving my skills, played my position even if everyone kept the ball away, once really surprised my class when they discovered I was great at free-throws in basketball because they had just come to assume I was hopelessly non-athletic, and always finished the run, even if I felt like I was going to die first. That attitude of trying to do your best, even when it's something you're absolutely awful at doing, is a good life skill to develop. Deciding it's "stupid" because you're not very good at it is called quitting, and that's not a good life skill to have.

Ooh, but then 8th grade was also the year we learned archery in gym class, and I finally found a sport I could beat the other students at. That was fun. And, I think it was also 8th grade when we did weight lifting. Thanks to the rate of physical development differing between boys and girls at that age, I had the immense pleasure of gloating that I was able to bench press more than one of the boys in my class who was on the JV football team. It's always fun when the "non-athletic, geeky" kid can beat someone on the football team at something in gym class, especially when that non-athletic, geeky kid is a girl.

Yeah, I know what you mean about the dirty clothes. I am so busy lately I really just kept forgetting to bring them home. I did try to borrow some but I couldn't.

 

[pineapples]

That she claims she was staring the teacher down and sending "anger vibes" tells me she was very likely copping an attitude. How do you NOT have an attitude when sending "anger vibes," whatever that is? I'm going to have to assume it's what was called "defiance" and "sass" when I was in school.

UGH FORGET about the stupid HATE VIBES! I was basically trying to express my anger without doing anything! WHATEVER! I don't know how to explain it! I sounded really stupid, I get it! It definitely wasn't defiance or sass, because he never gave me a chance to talk...

 

[pineapples]

In the OP, I think the reference to once a month meant that she was menstruating, and the gym suit was 'unclean'. But Moonbear is right in that the student is responsible to have the gym suit cleaned, or have an extra gym suit just in case.

Uhm, actually, noooo, that is not what I meant...

 

[pineapples]

Just for the record, I feel like a complete idiot. I got so wrapped up in my stupid anger because I had nothing better to worry about and for some reason I can't function without an issue in my brain. Not to mention, I kind of humiliated myself too and made people think I was a self-centered, spoiled little kid. Sorry for wasting your lives! Look what I've caused! URGH.

 

[chroot]

pineapples,

It's okay. No one's going to remember any of this next week anyway, including you. You could have handled this better, and your gym teacher probably could've, too. Give him a handshake and let it be water under the bridge. Little tiffs like this, honestly, are how people learn to live in a society full of complicated personalities and power relationships. You're doing fine.

- Warren

 

[heartless]

Hello,

So, what do you indent and plan to do now with this case?

By the way, You're lucky you don't live in China. My school fellow who lived there for a part of life, said, there teachers are allowed to beat students. Not once he received a face punch for failed tests and misbehavior. Anyway, most of the people are just like you in J.H.S. I was almost no different than you, I mean, Teachers never yelled at me, but I received frequent home calls. Then I learned how to learn to fix my own mistakes. This is the part when I'm currently standing on, I'm learning how to fix my own mistakes, and it isn't that easy yet. Just in case... Try to execute every order teachers tell you to, remember that you come to school, school doesn't come to you. Good Luck and Thanks,

 

[Chi Meson]

I do not agree with any instructor that temporarily prohibits any student from going to the bathroom, whether that student asked for permission or not.

When you got to go, you got to go.

Oh, that one's good.

So any student should be allowed to leave a class at any time they like without any restriction?

"I got to go, Mister!"

That won't fly.

 

[FredGarvin]

Just for the record, I feel like a complete idiot. I got so wrapped up in my stupid anger because I had nothing better to worry about and for some reason I can't function without an issue in my brain. Not to mention, I kind of humiliated myself too and made people think I was a self-centered, spoiled little kid. Sorry for wasting your lives! Look what I've caused! URGH.

Now that is the most inteligent and mature thing you've said so far. Now the important question...did you learn anything from this little event? It appears you did. Now stop feeling sorry for yourself and move on. Chroot had some good advice above.

 

[Moonbear]

Just for the record, I feel like a complete idiot. I got so wrapped up in my stupid anger because I had nothing better to worry about and for some reason I can't function without an issue in my brain. Not to mention, I kind of humiliated myself too and made people think I was a self-centered, spoiled little kid. Sorry for wasting your lives! Look what I've caused! URGH.

As a few others have already said, this is the most important thing, that you've realized your mistake, and can look back at your anger and see how silly it is, and how it just didn't get you anywhere good. Now, take the lesson from it and move forward as a better, slightly more mature person than you were yesterday.

 

[jimmie]

So any student should be allowed to leave a class at any time they like without any restriction?

Yes, and strictly to relieve themselves in the bathroom. The same is true for instructors.

The alternative "depends" on all individuals wearing additional clothing.

 

[BobG]

Yes, and strictly to relieve themselves in the bathroom. The same is true for instructors.

The alternative "depends" on all individuals wearing additional clothing.

Oh, for crying out loud, man, HOLD YOUR WATER!

maybe I've watched Sybil too many times

 

[Chi Meson]

Yes, and strictly to relieve themselves in the bathroom. The same is true for instructors.

The alternative "depends" on all individuals wearing additional clothing.

No.

It won't happen. Do you have a medical condition that makes you the exception to being able to hold it? Everyone else can for at least 40 minutes. The "when you got to go..." line is fiction. I teach sometimes for a four hour non-stop stretch. Is it a miracle that I can hold it? No, that's normal. Do I let any student just walk out of my class whenever they feel a little tinkle coming on.

I'm telling you, forget it. Or get a doctor's note describing your bladder control condition. Or quit talking in the hallway and get to the bathroom before class.

 

[Mk]

Eventually I got tired of staring at his ugly, hairy, wrinkly, distorted face and all my hate/anger vibes had run out

Eh? Got a thing against facial hair huh? I bet us hairy, wrinkly, PFers (possibly ugly and distorted) would disagree. Has Artman said anything yet? Or Zoobyshoe? I'm tempted to say a female member's name, but that would be mean.

I didn't read the whole thread, but my view is, you were both out of line.

The teacher didn't make you cry, you made yourself cry. You were obviously under some amount of pressure, and need to control your crying. Don't just go crying about everything.

Don't let people get under your skin too much. If you let them, they win. Don't let them win easy.

 

[Astronuc]

Sorry for wasting your lives!

If one has learned something, then our time is not wasted. That is why we are here - to learn and to teach - and perhaps be better people for it.

Little tiffs like this, honestly, are how people learn to live in a society full of complicated personalities and power relationships.

Excellent point!

 

[jimmie]

No.

It won't happen.

I agree.

In a global environment where business/particular, including and not limited to the action of learning and instructing, is the priority, all else takes a backseat so long as the "business" gets accomplished.

However, such an environment breeds stress within individuals, and the 'thought' of any business that interferes with the successful completion of any business is rarely tolerated. Individuals cannot fully relax so as to do business, because business is the priority. Even the natural act/business of going to the bathroom during business to 'take care of business' is frowned upon within the hostile business environment.

Perhaps, within a global environment where the company/whole is the priority, all individuals can fully relax with the knowledge that they themselves are the priority, and not any 'thought' of any business.

When business is put in its right place, which is second, only then an environment shall be created wherein all individuals shall be free to finally 'take care of business', including themselves and ultimately the environment.

 

[Chi Meson]

I agree.

In a global environment where business/particular, including and not limited to the action of learning and instructing, is the priority, all else takes a backseat so long as the "business" gets accomplished.

However, such an environment breeds stress within individuals, and the 'thought' of any business that interferes with the successful completion of any business is rarely tolerated. Individuals cannot fully relax so as to do business, because business is the priority. Even the natural act/business of going to the bathroom during business to 'take care of business' is frowned upon within the hostile business environment.

Perhaps, within a global environment where the company/whole is the priority, all individuals can fully relax with the knowledge that they themselves are the priority, and not any 'thought' of any business.

When business is put in its right place, which is second, only then an environment shall be created wherein all individuals shall be free to finally 'take care of business', including themselves and ultimately the environment.

Or, you could just hold it for a few minutes until there is a convenient time to ask for permission to use the lav. That part is called "consideration for others."

 

[jimmie]

That part is called "consideration for others."

I believe that "consideration for others", expressed primarily through "good manners", is the lubrication upon which a societal machine functions.

I believe that it is possible to teach and learn both "consideration for others" and at least one other subject, simultaneously.

Lead by example.

 

[Chi Meson]

I believe that "consideration for others", expressed primarily through "good manners", is the lubrication upon which a societal machine functions.

I agree.

Getting up in the middle of a lesson is disruptive and rude.

According to your first post in this thread, it appears that you agree with this too. I guess we're not at odds here.

 

[jimmie]

I guess we're not at odds here.

I agree.

A little OT but, I'm thinking that the whole global societal machine, starting at the political leaders, is currently in need of LOTS of lube.