Was My Gym Teacher Out of Line?

[BobG]

Just for the record, I feel like a complete idiot. I got so wrapped up in my stupid anger because I had nothing better to worry about and for some reason I can't function without an issue in my brain. Not to mention, I kind of humiliated myself too and made people think I was a self-centered, spoiled little kid. Sorry for wasting your lives! Look what I've caused! URGH.

You should be sorry, and consider yourself lucky to still be a member of this forum. Remember, we have high standards here. Franzbaer was banned just for misspelling his name. Rachmanoff was banned for being too, uh, "challenged" to remember his own password. Rachmanoff2 was banned for being to out of shape to type his own username (yet another reason you should be a little more motivated in gym class - try to learn lessons from others rather than through your own pain). Rach3 was ... well, he hasn't been banned yet, but he will be once he let's everyone know what he thinks of me.

 

[Rach3]

Rachmanoff2 was banned for being to out of shape to type his own username...

A fate that is about to befall BobG.

 

[Artman]

First of all, I apologize that I did not read every post in this thread, so I may be saying something that's been covered (I did read the first three pages so about 75 posts).

Today my gym teacher insulted me in front of everyone and made me cry.
I didn't dress out for gym because my gymsuit was freaking nasty dirty. Thats not a big deal, it's a once a month thing, but he SINGALED me out of the whole class for it when two other ppl do this every day...

He has his favorites and she is not among them.

Anyway, we were doing this fitness day thing. stuuuuuupid. So Then, I started walking to the locker room. He said, "Maggie where are you going?" and I said "The bathroom" and he said "Finsih this first". So I finished the stupid station I was at. Then I went. I got back out, and he's mad at me! "I said FINSIH this first!" and I was like, "I did!" and he said, "I meant the whole ting course!" HOW was I supposed to know?? That doesn't even make sense! But that REALLY set him off. Ooooh, I'm soooo bad. So he took me into the office and said I had an "attitude problem".

Maggie, you do have an attitude problem and an obvious dislike for gym class. Your response should have been. "I'm sorry. I misunderstood."

...he started yelling that "I get this all the time from you 8th grade, G/T (gifted/talented) students! You have this condescending, rude, 'I don't want to be here, I'm above you all' kind of attitude" ... ...On a side note, he does this to my friend Sarah too. We have the same personality and she's in G/T (gifted and talented classes), too. He insults her and critcizes her and kind of mocks her in front of the class. Maybe its in his personality, but...he's made her cry, too! In front of everyone!...

These are the phrases that worry me the most about this situation. It seems this man is using the other students dislike of the G/T students to seek the popular kid's approval. Allowing other students to make faces in the window, mocking students, etc is never right. I don't care if the student has a bad attitude, how is this going to help it?

...Uhm, hello! He just described himself! He thinks he's the supreme ruler of EVERY little thing...

Yes, in that classroom he is. It is his class. You are a child, he is an adult and in charge. Unless he demands something that legally he has no right to demand, you should be trying to do as he says.

 

[Artman]

I just realized I never offered a suggestion for dealing with this person.

If it was me at this point in my life (I am 48 years old) I would approach the teacher in all seriousness and tell him, "I am sorry for my bad attitude in class. Gym is not my best class, but I will try and do my best to at least improve my attitude." Then I would offer to shake hands with him.

You cannot have a power struggle with a teacher and win. This person may not accept the gesture in the way it was intended and may poke fun at it (judging from your post), but if he does, than he is the fool, you would have acted in a mature responsible manner.

 

[pineapples]

People, you just don't understand! If I walked up to my teacher and said, "I am sorry for my bad attidude in class. Gym is not my best class, but I will try and do my best to at least improve my attitude," and then offered to SHAKE his HAND?
HA! He would laugh at me! He would laugh at ANYone in the class who did that. That's just the kind of guy he is. All of his "jokes" are always dry and sarcastic and kind of mean, but you can always tell when he's joking. That's why half the time he told me to do stuff, I thought he was kidding around or something because he was laughing and kind smiling when he said it, you know?
UGH I can't explain it.

 

[FredGarvin]

People, you just don't understand! If I walked up to my teacher and said, "I am sorry for my bad attidude in class. Gym is not my best class, but I will try and do my best to at least improve my attitude," and then offered to SHAKE his HAND?
HA! He would laugh at me! He would laugh at ANYone in the class who did that. That's just the kind of guy he is. All of his "jokes" are always dry and sarcastic and kind of mean, but you can always tell when he's joking. That's why half the time he told me to do stuff, I thought he was kidding around or something because he was laughing and kind smiling when he said it, you know?
UGH I can't explain it.

No. YOU don't understand. Let's look at what we call the root cause of the entire incident: YOU didn't come prepared. Had you done what is expected of you (independent of what other people seem to get away with) this never would have happened. I was hoping you started to understand that point, but it looks like you didn't.

That suggestion is how an adult may have handled the situation. It is not an absolute. The main idea is that you accept your responsibility in the issue and do what you can to remedy the situation. You don't go off in a spoiled hissy fit.

You will always have to deal with people like him. The difference is that when you are an "adult" you can't afford little hissy fits. What if this guy was your boss, or someone else who held a large degree of power over you? Seriously. Think about it. I'm sure that you are always telling people that you want to be treated like an adult. Well, failed horribly to act like one here. Act like an adult and learn from your mistakes.

 

[Artman]

People, you just don't understand! If I walked up to my teacher and said, "I am sorry for my bad attidude in class. Gym is not my best class, but I will try and do my best to at least improve my attitude," and then offered to SHAKE his HAND?
HA! He would laugh at me! He would laugh at ANYone in the class who did that. That's just the kind of guy he is. All of his "jokes" are always dry and sarcastic and kind of mean, but you can always tell when he's joking. That's why half the time he told me to do stuff, I thought he was kidding around or something because he was laughing and kind smiling when he said it, you know?
UGH I can't explain it.

Sounds like the kind of guy that is trying to please all the 'cool' kids by making fun of the smart kids. I've seen teachers like that. It's a shame that some people feel that they need to do that.

Here's the thing, you have to get through school and you don't want this guy to effect your grades. Just be polite, stay out of his way, and try and do what he requests, try and get something positive from gym, and work on having a positive attitude.

What you are doing is overcoming a prejudice against you...

"I get this all the time from you 8th grade, G/T (gifted/talented) students!

He is wrong to have it, but he does, so you have to be extra careful in dealing with him, not to give him excuses to berate you.

 

[pineapples]

Sure, my mistake was the "root" of the incident, but you know what? I wouldn't be mad at all if my teacher had handled it like a civilized person. Maybe I was the cause of the problem, but there wouldn't be a problem if he hadn't totally overreacted and freaked out!

 

[Artman]

Sure, my mistake was the "root" of the incident, but you know what? I wouldn't be mad at all if my teacher had handled it like a civilized person. Maybe I was the cause of the problem, but there wouldn't be a problem if he hadn't totally overreacted and freaked out!

You can't change other people, only the way YOU deal with other people.

As my dad once said to me, "Life is not fair."

 

[Moonbear]

Sure, my mistake was the "root" of the incident, but you know what? I wouldn't be mad at all if my teacher had handled it like a civilized person. Maybe I was the cause of the problem, but there wouldn't be a problem if he hadn't totally overreacted and freaked out!

No, there wouldn't be a problem if you came prepared to class, and then didn't overreact and freak out when reprimanded for it. All you're doing is reinforcing the teacher's opinion of the G/T students by behaving exactly the way he predicted. Artman's advice is good, and you might be surprised how far a little respect for your teacher goes. If you take the mature approach, which is to apologize for your part in the whole situation, you might discover the gym teacher is a reasonable person who is just tired of getting attitude from the students. He may even realize he overreacted a bit too and apologize back. At the very least, it resets the tone so you don't seem just like all the other students who give him attitude, and might give you a fresh start with him having more respect for you than he likely does now after all the attitude you gave him over something that should have been easily remedied.

 

[heartless]

I agree with Moonbear and Artman. You seem to know how he is going to behave when you give him a hand but yet you can't be sure. In fact, you may feel surprised when you do that. Inside every bad person there is something good. Even Hitler had this good part, although his another side rose too high. Give him a hand shake, and if you show that you really care about the relationship and want to change your attitude I assure you he will understand. Just try to catch him up when he's alone and not busy, most of the people are influenced by the surrounding. As artman said, you can't change people unless you don't change yourself first. Really, try to make up with him. If he refuses to do that also, he won't change his attitude toward you, but if he does the same thing as you, you win. Hence, you don't lose anything. Don't forget that this also may change his attitude toward others. You may change it all, in less than two minutes. Take your chance.

Thanks,

 

[Artman]

Don't forget that this also may change his attitude toward others. You may change it all, in less than two minutes. Take your chance.

My wife and I used to own a store and we had a service where people could pay bills. There was a man who used to come into pay his phone bill and every time he came in he was frowning and sour.

My wife said, "Hi" and smiled at him.
He said, "What are you smiling about?"
She said something like, "I always think it's nice to be friendly." He just grumbled and left.
Next time he came in she did it again. She just kept on working on him month after month until he started smiling back. After several months, we passed him on the street and he was all smiles and said "Hello" to us. When he was out of earshot she said, "You see that smile, that's mine. I put that there."

You never know. A change in your attitude, may indeed change his.

 

[Dagenais]

Today my gym teacher insulted me in front of everyone and made me cry.

Spit in his face and say, "Thug 'till I die. We$tside!"

 

[0TheSwerve0]

Just wait till you get to high school, the teachers get worse! (not to say there aren't good ones, but the bad ones turn worse here) A similar thing happened with my sister. She's a senior in high school, and the campus ministry leader/teacher guy called her in because he found out she had forged service hours (we have to voluneer 80 hours during high school to graduate, yeah Catholic school). He was being a complete jerk to her and interrogating her like she was a criminal. Heck, she's not even a delinquent, she forged 10 extra hours, but I didn't think it was a big deal. Anyhow, she ended up sobbing (she's sensitive, Pisces moon), and he says he's glad she feels humiliated and that she's crying because it shows she feels remorse (Catholic school again...). He continues to interrogate her while she's hyperventilating, and says she has a bad attitude when she asks if she can go. He then asks her why she did it. She says she has 5 hours of dance during the week, in addition to honors classes and driving for an hour to and from school, so she didn't have time to finish up the hours. He then asks why she takes dance, and proceeds to tell her it's a waste of her time, that colleges don't care about dance as an extracurricular activity and that she should quit! I think he crossed the line, and that he was both harassing and intimidating her.

My point - Teachers, esp high school teachers, often think of students as the enemy. I suggest you do write a letter to the administration, get your parents involved too. Inappropriate behavior like this should not be tolerated. Teachers shouldn't make enemies out of their students (and vice versa, but I don't think you were wrong to be infuriated over this guy's power trip). So what if you didn't wear gym clothes? Honestly, why does it matter? Just another example of authority instilling obedience through petty rules. Good luck with the rest of your academic experience, I found that being meek helps.

 

[0TheSwerve0]

Spit in his face and say, "Thug 'till I die. We$tside!"

While you're at it, put a hex on him.

 

[0TheSwerve0]

You're a spoiled little brat which means you are an average 8th grade kid. Just realize that in 5 or so years you'll realize what a little moron you were and you'll move on with your life. At least we hope so.

answer-->

Blanket statements like that to someone, who is obviously trolling for comments like that, are not productive and help no one.

seriously did a double-take when I read that post! Really, looked like you were responding to yourself.

 

[CosminaPrisma]

Some parts of adolescence are torturous. Like gym class. I didn't exactly love gym class either. Sounds like your gym teacher was just trying to do his job and was sick of a lot of the attitude he was getting from students. He was probably stressed out and what you did was just the icing on whatever else was going on. Some people are like volcanoes about to explode when under lots of stess and you walk on eggshells around them all the time in order to avoid an explosion. My father is one of those people. The best way to avoid having them blow up at you is to conform and just do as they ask--no questions, no flak, no attitude. Or if you really need to go to the bathroom and its and emergency ask.. you're more likely to get a yes if you are one who conforms. Remember, eventually gym class will be over and you probably won't have to deal with that teacher again!
It is quite good that you are starting to understand that your own behavior is the cause of others responses to you in a lot of situations. Its better to learn that lesson earlier than not because it will help you get along well with others in the long run. Good luck!

 

[Artman]

I suggest you do write a letter to the administration, get your parents involved too. Inappropriate behavior like this should not be tolerated. Teachers shouldn't make enemies out of their students (and vice versa, but I don't think you were wrong to be infuriated over this guy's power trip).

I am all for standing up for your rights when you are right. However, what you are suggesting is that she stand up for her rights, when she was wrong. If she had been prepared for class and this happened, then I would also recommend she contact the administration.

 

[0TheSwerve0]

When you break a rule, you should be given detention or a warning. Did she not say the coach didn't warn her? Plus, when you break a rule, your teacher doesn't have the right to yell in your face and harrass you. There are rules for social interactions, he broke them. Sounds like he acted more like a child than she did (at least she refrained from bursting out like he did). Seriously, who picks on 8th grade girls?

 

[Mk]

Seriously, who picks on 8th grade girls?

Other 8th grade girls..

 

[0TheSwerve0]

got me there

 

[Moonbear]

When you break a rule, you should be given detention or a warning. Did she not say the coach didn't warn her? Plus, when you break a rule, your teacher doesn't have the right to yell in your face and harrass you. There are rules for social interactions, he broke them. Sounds like he acted more like a child than she did (at least she refrained from bursting out like he did). Seriously, who picks on 8th grade girls?

Where did she say he yelled in her face or harassed her? This sounded like a one time thing. If anything, he cut her a bit of slack by giving her a good talking to in his office rather than giving her a detention, which he probably could do. She says no warning was given, but it sounds like he did correct her for the inappropriate attire for the class, and it was her reaction to that which got a sterner response from him. It's not harassment if he's reprimanding her for things she's done wrong. It would be harassment if he was constantly picking on her in every class for no reason at all, but she gave him reason. Besides, she said it was a "once a month thing," so unless she means she got overly moody because of her stage of menstrual cycle, it sounds like this is a habitual problem. If her stinky gym clothes were okay to wear the day before, I don't know why they weren't okay the next day. If she only washes them once a month, they must be pretty ripe for 3 weeks already!

 

[Artman]

60 years ago, she would have gotten spanked in front of the class with a wooden paddle, then be sent to the principal for talking back and the parents called in for a talk for her poor attitude.

30 years ago, she would have gotten a stern reprimand in class, then be sent to the principal for talking back and the parents called in for a talk for her attitude.

Nowadays she would get a stern reprimand in class, then the teacher gets reported to the principal for talking back and the parents called in for a talk about his attitude.

We're raising brats.

 

[0TheSwerve0]

I was under the impression there was yelling (sounds like maybe she was, but then again she said she kept most of her anger inside) and harshness involved, here's why -

Then I went. I got back out, and he's mad at me! "I said FINSIH this first!" and I was like, "I did!" and he said, "I meant the whole ting course!" HOW was I supposed to know?? That doesn't even make sense! But that REALLY set him off...

he started yelling that "I get this all the time from you 8th grade, G/T (gifted/talented) students! You have this condescending, rude, 'I don't want to be here, I'm above you all' kind of attitude"

Now here's the thing: do you think he was out of line? Did he have a right to go off on me just for that?

On a side note, he does this to my friend Sarah too. We have the same personality and she's in G/T (gifted and talented classes), too. He insults her and critcizes her and kind of mocks her in front of the class. Maybe its in his personality, but...he's made her cry, too! In front of everyone!

According to her, he was yelling, mocking, and overreacting. Hence, it seems like harrassment. Nothing new, I've been there myself. I suspect he imagines all students aim to annoy him so he overreacts.

 

[0TheSwerve0]

We're raising brats.

And cheaters, check out that other thread about cheating in universities. Also, kids who learn that "everyone is equal" but also, "everyone's unique and special." What a turn around this last generation of parents has made! Seems to me the education system is set up for confrontations like this. As for adolescence itself, there are many cultures and societies that do not encounter the moody rebellious teenager...because they don't set up their social system to create them and have those types of confrontations! Like I said, I think the education system is set up so teachers and students make enemies out of each other.

 

[0TheSwerve0]

Nowadays she would get a stern reprimand in class, then the teacher gets reported to the principal for talking back and the parents called in for a talk about his attitude.

That's lame, I support teachers putting a student in place when they deserve it. Then they won't have to go off when students break petty rules.

 

[Moonbear]

According to her, he was yelling, mocking, and overreacting. Hence, it seems like harrassment. Nothing new, I've been there myself. I suspect he imagines all students aim to annoy him so he overreacts.

I just interpreted all the exclamation points as her anger showing through in her version of the story, not as factual representations of whether there was yelling or not. Of course, gyms are not quiet places either, so there may have been some yelling that was simply for the purpose of being loud enough to be heard over the noise of everyone else doing whatever they were doing in gym class, and had nothing to do with anger.

 

[Dagenais]

Plus, when you break a rule, your teacher doesn't have the right to yell in your face and harrass you.

He doesn't?

I've had teachers yell loudly at me before. I remember in elementary, this teacher yelled at me so loudly everyone down the hall heard it.

What was I doing that got him angry? I was telling my friend where "All The Right Type" was located in the Macintosh HD while he was beginning to talk.

He had serious anger problems, but nobody ever reported him. He would scare the crap out of kids, even threaten them, "Get out of my face before..."

And cheaters, check out that other thread about cheating in universities.

Get over it. Don't get mad just because people have enough of a network to find help whenever they need to make life easier. Maybe you prefer being friendless and working all alone in the corner of the class - some people don't.

As for adolescence itself, there are many cultures and societies that do not encounter the moody rebellious teenager...because they don't set up their social system to create them and have those types of confrontations!

No, it's because of parenting. American parenting.

 

[jimmie]

I see a lot of rants but no plausible solution, yet.

Like I said, if everyone intended to practice "good manners" always, and make that noun the precedent over that verb which was wrongly done, there would not usually be any source of stress, and the alpha-point is the teacher.

The things that you perceive now such as "bad children" and "bad weather" are a symptom of the attitude you had to the whole, previously.

All children need a "right" example in addition to, an instructor.

And I currently don't see it happening on the big stage.

 

[Artman]

I see a lot of rants but no plausible solution, yet.

I gave her one. When dealing with people, (especially authority figures) the best way to make a change is to change yourself.

I said she should apologize for her part in the event and attempt to have a better attitude in the future.

Any attempt to get the teacher to change either through parental intervention or administrative action requires the teacher to change in the desired way to be effective. Those methods could change things for the worse. If the teacher has tenure, it is very hard to get him out. It would take a far worse affair than that descibed.

 

[0TheSwerve0]

He doesn't?

I've had teachers yell loudly at me before. I remember in elementary, this teacher yelled at me so loudly everyone down the hall heard it.

What was I doing that got him angry? I was telling my friend where "All The Right Type" was located in the Macintosh HD while he was beginning to talk.

He had serious anger problems, but nobody ever reported him. He would scare the crap out of kids, even threaten them, "Get out of my face before..."

So are you agreeing with me or not?

Get over it. Don't get mad just because people have enough of a network to find help whenever they need to make life easier. Maybe you prefer being friendless and working all alone in the corner of the class - some people don't.

Get over what? Did you bother to read https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=116923"in that thread...that I really don't care if people cheat. Well you posted between my two main posts in the thread, so I don't know how you came to the conclusion that I cared about cheating. Anyhow, how does doing one's own homework make them friendless? We are forced to do our homework at home because during class we discuss or take notes. The kind of homework I do doesn't require help, just individual effort (eg for individual labs at the zoo, response papers to readings, essay writing). I'm past the high school/early college busywork

No, it's because of parenting. American parenting.

Yep, characteristic of American society.

 

[0TheSwerve0]

I just interpreted all the exclamation points as her anger showing through in her version of the story, not as factual representations of whether there was yelling or not. Of course, gyms are not quiet places either, so there may have been some yelling that was simply for the purpose of being loud enough to be heard over the noise of everyone else doing whatever they were doing in gym class, and had nothing to do with anger.

Mayhaps.

I guess I'd have to agree with everyone else, just get over it. Write a letter if you must, but definitely find other ways to diffuse your outrage...like Buffy quotes! (sometimes applicable and often funny).

Principal Snyder: A lot of educators tell students, 'Think of your principal as your pal'. I say 'Think of me as your judge, jury and executioner'.

Principal Snyder: One day the campus is completely bare and empty. The next, there are children everywhere. Like locusts. Crawling around, mindlessly bent on feeding and mating. Destroying everyting in sight in their relentless, pointless desire to exist.
Giles: I do enjoy these pep talks. Have you ever considered, given your abhorrence of children, school's principal was not, perhaps, your true vocation?
Snyder: Somebody's got to keep an eye on them. They're just a bunch of hormonal time bombs. Every time a pretty girl walks by every boy turns into a gibbering fool.

Buffy: The school talent show. How ever did you finagle such a primo assignment?
Giles: Our new Fuehrer, Mr. Snyder.
Willow: I think they call 'em "principals" now.
Giles: Mmm. He thought it would behoove me to have more contact with the students. I did try to explain that my vocational choice of librarian was a deliberate attempt to minimize said contact, but, uh, he would have none of it.

Snyder: My predecessor, Mr. Flutie, may have gone in for all that touchy-feely relating nonsense, but he was eaten. You're in my world now. And Sunnydale has touched and felt for the last time.

Snyder: Kids today need discipline. That's an unpopular word these days, "discipline." I know Principal Flutie would have said, "Kids need understanding. Kids are human beings." That's the kind of woolly-headed, liberal thinking that leads to being eaten.
Giles: I think perhaps it was a little more complex than, um...
Snyder: This place has quite a reputation. Suicide, missing persons, spontaneous
cheerleader combustion... You can't put up with that.

Snyder: There are things I will not tolerate: students loitering on campus after school, horrible murders with hearts being removed. And also smoking.

 

[Moonbear]

I guess I'd have to agree with everyone else, just get over it. Write a letter if you must, but definitely find other ways to diffuse your outrage...like Buffy quotes! (sometimes applicable and often funny).

Those are good.

Of course, let's not forget that gym teachers always sound like they're yelling anyway, even when they're praising someone for doing a good job...they all seem to use that drill seargent voice.

Honestly, the teacher has probably already forgotten about it, other than a little check mark in the grade book that she came unprepared to class one day. One incident is just not worth dwelling over. That's certainly adding to the problem - that pineapples seems to be holding a grudge over this and can't just say what's done is done and let's move forward in a more positive way. She was wrong to come unprepared and give attitude for it, maybe he was wrong in going too far with the way he reprimanded her, so time to chalk it up to a bad day and move on. I still think Artman's suggestion of taking the mature route of offering an apology and handshake for her part in it would go a long way toward ensuring it doesn't turn into a long-term grudge and would re-establish some mutual respect.

 

[Artman]

0TheSwerve0, I Love the Buffy quotes. I never watched that show, I'm sorry now that I missed it.

Snyder: My predecessor, Mr. Flutie, may have gone in for all that touchy-feely relating nonsense, but he was eaten. You're in my world now. And Sunnydale has touched and felt for the last time.

 

[0TheSwerve0]

Never too late to buy the dvds! I've got the whole collection on used dvds, but I'm trying to save up for the "Chosen Collection" that has all the dvds in one set. There's a great buffy podcast too, at http://buffycast.libsyn.com/