Weird News Compilation

[jtbell]

From Shakespeare to Star Trek to poop:

Sir Patrick Stewart: Poo emoji role for Shakespearean actor (BBC News)

At least he doesn't have to dress the part.

 

[Astronuc]

Wyoming proposal would require utilities to use fossil fuels
https://www.yahoo.com/finance/news/...tilities-fossil-fuels-185233028--finance.html

CHEYENNE, Wyo. (AP) -- A group of Wyoming lawmakers is bucking the U.S. trend of supporting renewable energy with a plan to do the opposite: Fine utilities if they provide energy produced by wind or the sun.

Blustery Wyoming ranks among the top states for wind-energy potential, but the coal, oil and natural gas industries are the backbone of the state's economy.

So what happened to the free-market philosophy? I thought the idea was to let businesses decide how best to run their business, and not have government dictate how a business should run itself.

 

[BillTre]

So what happened to the free-market philosophy? I thought the idea was to let businesses decide how best to run their business, and not have government dictate how a business should run itself.

Unless your politicians are funded by particular industries.

 

[nsaspook]

A Russian roulette taser game is being played in a trendy San Francisco bar as part of a bizarre new hipster craze.

Footage shows two women holding taser guns up to each other's head, before pulling the trigger.

As with a normal Russian roulette game, there is one in six chance that the person will get an electric shock from the gun.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4159368/Russian-roulette-TASERS-latest-hipster-trend.html

 

[nsaspook]

https://www.theguardian.com/science...asel-display-rotterdam-natural-history-museum

The stone marten is the latest dead animal to go on display at the museum. It joins a sparrow that was shot after it sabotaged a world record attempt by knocking over 23,000 dominoes; a hedgehog that got fatally stuck in a McDonalds McFlurry pot, and a catfish that fell victim to a group of men in the Netherlands who developed a tradition for drinking vast amounts of beer and swallowing fish from their aquarium. The catfish turned out to be armoured, and on being swallowed raised its spines. The defence did not save the fish, but it put the 28-year-old man who tried to swallow it in intensive care for a week.

 

[OmCheeto]

Why, oh why, are we so weird...

Portland woman gets snake stuck in her earlobe

 

[nsaspook]

Why, oh why, are we so weird...

Portland woman gets snake stuck in her earlobe

Now I understand the half shaved head. It was for the operation that removed the brain.

 

[EnumaElish]

Why, oh why, are we so weird...

Portland woman gets snake stuck in her earlobe

That picture is like an earworm. It keeps playing in my head.

 

[Borg]

Man's pacemaker data leads to arson and insurance fraud charges

Compton told the police that when he saw his house burning on September 19th last year, he packed his suitcases, threw them out his bedroom window and carried them to his car. However, since has a serious heart condition and other medical issues that would have made it extremely difficult for him to do all those, the cops were able to secure a search warrant for his pacemaker data.

 

[dkotschessaa]

That picture is like an earworm. It keeps playing in my head.

You mean earsnake?

 

[kyphysics]

whacky story for the day:

https://www.yahoo.com/news/m/447a1571-6c3e-3f23-9e65-d4dd98c24aa4/she-felt-a-%E2%80%98crawling.html

 

[nsaspook]

Never leave the basement for anything in Oregon.

http://www.kgw.com/life/marijuana-home-delivery-starts-in-oregon/406724967

PORTLAND, Ore. -- Oregon is rolling out another first in the recreational marijuana industry: Customers may now order pot from licensed retailers and have it delivered to their homes.
...
“This is like, you're going to call the pizza guy, then you're going to call us,” said Krutzler. “We're going to have a good time.”

 

[nsaspook]

Not surprised about Florida.

 

[nsaspook]

http://www.kptv.com/story/34514876/bill-would-make-sasquatch-official-cryptid-of-washington?autostart=true

OLYMPIA, WA (AP) -

A new bill seeks to designate Sasquatch as the "official cryptid" of Washington state.

A cryptid is defined by Oxford dictionary as an "animal whose existence or survival is disputed or unsubstantiated."

 

[dkotschessaa]

Not surprised about Florida.

Me neither!

What is up with all the midwest suffocation? They low on air over there?

-Dave K

 

[dkotschessaa]

whacky story for the day:

https://www.yahoo.com/news/m/447a1571-6c3e-3f23-9e65-d4dd98c24aa4/she-felt-a-%E2%80%98crawling.html

EEEEEEEEEEEEGHHHADDDDS!@#!# EEK. YEEEOW! ughghhhghghghghg! aahghgg! No thank you! Yikes!

 

[fresh_42]

Me neither!

What is up with all the midwest suffocation? They low on air over there?

-Dave K

Seems to be roughly the Rockys, so they might really be low on air.

 

[dkotschessaa]

Seems to be roughly the Rockys, so they might really be low on air.

Hawaii interesting as well... Sharp volcanic rocks?

 

[fresh_42]

Hawaii interesting as well... Sharp volcanic rocks?

I still try to imagine what the h... is going on in Louisiana and Illinois ...

 

[nsaspook]

Secret Agent '707'?
https://asiancorrespondent.com/2017/02/one-kim-jong-nams-alleged-assassins-lol-shirt/

A zoomed image, taken from CCTV footage, of one of the alleged killers appears to show a middle-aged woman of Asian descent wearing a shirt bearing the word “LOL” in large letters,The Star reported.

http://www.thestar.com.my/news/nation/2017/02/15/women-trained-to-seduce-and-kill/

 

[NTL2009]

Hawaii interesting as well... Sharp volcanic rocks?

You have to take into account the weird term "disproportionately common". This was use a year or so ago with regard to emojis in different states, and people thought the weird emojis were 'common' in that state.

But I think what these mean is, there are emojis or injuries that are common to all the states. These are the ones that are disproportionately represented in that state. So it might mean that an injury type is typically 1/10,000 in most states, but 1/7,000 in one state, so it is "disproportionately represented" for that state?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Novel stock market strategy:

http://fortune.com/2017/02/17/target-stock-bomb-florida/

The explosives, which were capable of causing "serious injury and death to nearby persons," were expected to be placed on shelves while disguised as food products.

"Once the boxes had detonated inside of Target stores, Barnett theorized that the company's stock value would plunge allowing him to acquire shares cheaply before an eventual rebound," the complaint read.

 

[zoobyshoe]

The unpresidented trumpigator:

http://www.livescience.com/57845-orange-alligator-in-south-carolina.html

 

[fresh_42]

Novel stock market strategy:

http://fortune.com/2017/02/17/target-stock-bomb-florida/

Strictly speaking it's just another form of insider trading

 

[zoobyshoe]

Strictly speaking it's just another form of insider trading

Yes.

Probably needless to say there's a lot of things wrong with the strategy. The first one that comes to mind is that the stock would almost certainly not rebound until the bomber was caught. Another is that, while the bomber of ten stores was being hunted, shoppers would probably avoid the store like the plague, and the chain might fail altogether due to the catastrophic drop in sales.

 

[fresh_42]

Probably needless to say there's a lot of things wrong with the strategy. The first one that comes to mind is that the stock would almost certainly not rebound until the bomber was caught. Another is that, while the bomber of ten stores was being hunted, shoppers would probably avoid the store like the plague, and the chain might fail altogether due to the catastrophic drop in sales.

Yes, the entire plan might not only fail but is at the same time twice illegal. A real trader would have bought plenty of puts beforehand to have at least a chance the plan could succeed.

 

[Borg]

I think that it's doubtful that he thought much beyond the buy low - sell high strategy.

 

[Buckleymanor]

Trump Administration May Mobilize National Guard Troops To Round Up Unauthorized Immigrants
President Donald Trump’s administration is considering mobilizing as many as 100,000 National Guard troops to round up unauthorized immigrants, according to a draft copy over the order obtained by The Associated Press on Friday.

I don't believe it.
A mistake or windup.

 

[nsaspook]

Trump Administration May Mobilize National Guard Troops To Round Up Unauthorized Immigrants
President Donald Trump’s administration is considering mobilizing as many as 100,000 National Guard troops to round up unauthorized immigrants, according to a draft copy over the order obtained by The Associated Press on Friday.

I don't believe it.
A mistake or windup.

It might be a Canary trap to see who would leak it.

 

[Astronuc]

VX nerve agent used to kill Kim Jong Nam, police say
http://www.cnn.com/2017/02/23/asia/kim-jong-nam-vx-nerve-agent/index.html

Apparently, two women approached Kim Jong Nam and applied VX to his face.

"If it's inhaled as a vapor, (the victim) very quickly becomes what is called, crudely, a body flopper. You'll be on the ground with your arms and legs twitching unable to breathe," former United Nations weapons inspector David Kay told CNN in 1998. "You will lose control of your stomach. It's not a very pleasant way to die."

Someone tried to break into the morgue where Kim Jong Nam's body is being kept.

 

[fresh_42]

Oh no, please not again! We have had these kind of things for a least a dozen of centuries and it never ever came out right ...

http://www.dw.com/en/danish-demagogue-calls-for-annexation-of-german-region/a-37696340

Danish demagogue calls for annexation of German region
A leader of Denmark's far-right party has managed to revive a border dispute that dates back to the 19th century. The Danish minority in Germany have slammed the idea and Denmark's government distanced themselves.

Are they currently all going nuts?

 

[nsaspook]

VX nerve agent used to kill Kim Jong Nam, police say
http://www.cnn.com/2017/02/23/asia/kim-jong-nam-vx-nerve-agent/index.html

Wow, He was really on the NK naughty list.

 

[nsaspook]

https://www.facebook.com/BaltimoreC....154351.58771761955/10154185854496956/?type=3
41K comments.http://kutv.com/news/offbeat/baltimore-pd-catches-man-driving-with-antique-pistol-internet-responds-appropriately

 

[nsaspook]

http://lasvegas.cbslocal.com/2017/03/07/man-charged-with-attempted-murder-in-mannequin-attack/

LAS VEGAS (AP) — A hunt for the killer of two sleeping homeless men in Las Vegas led to an unusual attempted murder charge Tuesday and a legal debate about criminal intent, when a man was accused of trying to kill a mannequin used as a decoy near the downtown site where the men had died of head injuries.

 

[OmCheeto]

H.R.1275 -
World's Greatest Healthcare Plan of 2017
115th Congress (2017-2018)
​

ref: https://www.congress.gov/bill/115th-congress/house-bill/1275

I swore it was a headline from The Onion...