What are the financial implications of marriage for wealthy couples?

[Jimmy Snyder]

It's a question of commitment because marriage is an institution. So if you get married, you should be committed to an institution.

 

[Chi Meson]

Marriage is a legal contract. The end.

And its a way to make lots of money for the church.

However, there is absolutely no point to it.

He doesn't like Jazz.

 

[Chi Meson]

One thing for sure, I would absolutely never get married an anything but a civil rite with a Justice of the Peace or Judge presiding. Any hint of religion would make it meaningless.

We got married in a full Mass Catholic ceremony. At the time, I also thought it was meaningless, but it was my "gift" to our mothers, especially Pam's Mother who planned the whole thing out. It might have been the most fun she had ever had in her adult life, so I figured "What the hell...or whatever."

The only part of the...event...that I really was bothered with was the drunk priest.

That and the make-up the mother-in-almost-law forced my wfe-to-be to wear. That made her look like a different person, and I still can't look at the photographs from that...episode. I consider the whole ceremony to be the least important part of our marriage.

And someone mentioned rings. We have rings, but we both stopped wearing them. They got in the way when running, swimming, biking, woodworking, climbing... pretty much anything. The only real point to them I noticed a year ago when a young lady started chatting me up. I casually mentioned my wife, and then she wandered off.

 

[Schrodinger's Dog]

I have no idea. If you don't want to get married don't. Simple.

 

[Laura1013]

I think some people here are confusing the wedding with the marriage. The wedding is simply the start of the marriage, and not so important in the long run. The marriage is everything afterwards.

 

[Art]

I think that we just set a new standard for thread hijacks.

Oh I dunno; weapons - shotgun - weddings. I can see the link

 

[Astronuc]

It's a question of commitment because marriage is an institution. So if you get married, you should be committed to an institution.

Kind of, sort of . . . .

Marriage is about making a promise (commitment), then doing one's best to maintain and fulfill that promise commitment.

In one sense (structurally), marriage or even family could be considered an institution, but then that seems a cold technical approach. But a marriage is more than an institution if we look at the profound relationship between the two individuals in what is supposed to be the most intimate relationship between two human beings.

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

I think some of you are missing a HUGE component to "getting" married. Those of you who want a quick ceremony, I am ALL for that! Less than a few minutes for me thank you. No big charade! But the best thing about a wedding and getting married is the party afterwards! Again I would love to skip all the annoying tradtions in the after party. Just get the liquor flowing and the dance floor waxed! fyi I am not married

 

[lisab]

When I was young, I used to think I'd never marry or have kids. When I met a guy who wanted those things, I thought, well why not?

A very nice thing happened when I married. I began to feel very rooted, in a way I never felt with just boyfriends. When I look far, far, far into the future, there's a lot I don't know, but I do know who will be with me.

 

[JasonRox]

When I was young, I used to think I'd never marry or have kids. When I met a guy who wanted those things, I thought, well why not?

A very nice thing happened when I married. I began to feel very rooted, in a way I never felt with just boyfriends. When I look far, far, far into the future, there's a lot I don't know, but I do know who will be with me.

I personally like not knowing.

For example, right now I will be on either end of my country depending how the jobs work out.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

Marriage is about making a promise (commitment), then doing one's best to maintain and fulfill that promise commitment.

In one sense (structurally), marriage or even family could be considered an institution, but then that seems a cold technical approach. But a marriage is more than an institution if we look at the profound relationship between the two individuals in what is supposed to be the most intimate relationship between two human beings.

Oh. I was just looking for an excuse to say "you should be committed to an institution."

 

[JasonRox]

Marriage is about making a promise (commitment), then doing one's best to maintain and fulfill that promise commitment.

In one sense (structurally), marriage or even family could be considered an institution, but then that seems a cold technical approach. But a marriage is more than an institution if we look at the profound relationship between the two individuals in what is supposed to be the most intimate relationship between two human beings.

You're assuming that this intimated relationship can only be achieved through marriage and that marriage is the most intimate relationship between two human beings.

 

[Laura1013]

You're assuming that this intimated relationship can only be achieved through marriage and that marriage is the most intimate relationship between two human beings.

It certainly can be, for many, many people.

 

[lisab]

You're assuming that this intimated relationship can only be achieved through marriage and that marriage is the most intimate relationship between two human beings.

Well, I can't think of another relationship where

• you're responsible - legally - for your partner's financial decisions (good or bad)
• you may have to make medical decisions for your partner, or vice versa
• you will be called on to make funeral arrangements for your partner, or vice versa

...there are probably a lot more instances where a married person has responsibilities that an unmarried one doesn't have.

Look, like an earlier poster said, if you don't want to get married, don't do it. But don't knock those of us who have decided to take on the joys and challenges of going through life tied up like wer're in a three-legged race .

 

[JasonRox]

...there are probably a lot more instances where a married person has responsibilities that an unmarried one doesn't have.

That's my issue. Like you said, you have responsibilities. The unmarried person would not need legal obligations, or need to be responsible to do things for their partner, they would do it because of their strong intimated relationship and NOT because they're married and have to.

 

[lisab]

That's my issue. Like you said, you have responsibilities. The unmarried person would not need legal obligations, or need to be responsible to do things for their partner, they would do it because of their strong intimated relationship and NOT because they're married and have to.

Unless you take legal steps to give your partner the powers that marriage automatically grants, you won't be able to take on those responsibilities, even if you really want to, no matter how strong and intimate your relationship is.

And if you do take those legal steps...well, a rose by any other name, is still a rose...

 

[Laura1013]

That's my issue. Like you said, you have responsibilities. The unmarried person would not need legal obligations, or need to be responsible to do things for their partner, they would do it because of their strong intimated relationship and NOT because they're married and have to.

Maybe responsibility isn't the right word – privilege? Unmarried, unrelated people do not have the legal authority to make those decisions (in the U.S.), unless they are appointed Power of Attorney.

 

[Astronuc]

You're assuming that this intimated relationship can only be achieved through marriage and that marriage is the most intimate relationship between two human beings.

Marriage IS the most intimate relationship between two human beings, or it should be, in terms of knowing the other person. Of course, we must acknowledge that at least 50% of marriages fail (at least in the US) because at least one party is not committed to the relationship.

When I refer to marriage, I refer to the committed relationship between two persons who make that commitment, rather than the legal institution.

I 'married' my wife the first time I slept with her (using a common euphemism), because by the standards I impose upon myself, I became bound to her for a lifetime (as long as both of us shall live).

 

[P4PPY]

I was married for 9 years. I learned one thing. You have no control over another human being.

Don't think for a second that anyone person will be with you for ever and ever. The marriage contract is nothing more than your 'faith' in paper form.

The fact that you can get divorced for under $100 (US) makes it very easy to up and bail when things get tough, or when someone you are married too changes due to age, career or children.

To me, I think marriage is more about raising children. Providing a more stable environment for a child can help them grow up to respect their surrounding and the people in them.

But since both parents generally work now, it really doesn't matter. Your child will spend 1/2 of his/her day being raised by teachers, babysitters & next door neighbors.

I think marriage is great for people who are over 50. As for me... I enjoying playing too much :)

 

[Chi Meson]

I think some people here are confusing the wedding with the marriage. The wedding is simply the start of the marriage, and not so important in the long run. The marriage is everything afterwards.

I agree, but I don't even think of our wedding as the "start" of our marriage. We had been together for over a year before that point. The marriage was just an excuse to invite all our friends to a big party that our parents were overjoyed to pay for.

 

[Chi Meson]

I think marriage is great for people who are over 50. As for me... I enjoying playing too much :)

Just as long as Pappy ain't a poppa before then!

 

[P4PPY]

I have a 6 year old daughter, and I'm a single parent.

As soon as Samantha was born... I got fixed :)

I plan on raising her with a realist perspective.

She says, "HEY!" by the way.

 

[lisab]

I agree, but I don't even think of our wedding as the "start" of our marriage. We had been together for over a year before that point. The marriage was just an excuse to invite all our friends to a big party that our parents were overjoyed to pay for.

I was dreading my wedding! All the planning, the details...those kinds of things are not my strong suit. I don't even like weddings, with all the fuss. I floated the idea to my mom that we should just elope. She suggested instead that she would take care of all the planning. She loves planning events!

So I just showed up, literally. When I got to my wedding, I didn't have the slightest idea what to expect. I learned my "theme color" was blue, the flowers were yellow roses (my hubby's from Texas), the meal was salmon... My mom was happy as a clam and so was I!

 

[Astronuc]

My father, who is a minister, officiated at my wedding. My wife's made her dress. I bought a new suit of reasonable quality. My dad used his connections and made arrangements with a small private chapel, and we had about 30 family members and close friends, some of whom played guitar for us. We had the reception at the home of a couple, my best friend was living with my wife's best friend.

Since my wife and I were going into grad school, we didn't go on a honeymoon (trip/vaction) but saved our money for tuition and living expenses. I had saved up enough money, and my wife and I worked during grad school, so that we payed off her student loans and bought my wife a new car. Toward the end of grad school, we decided to have kids, and I left a PhD program to get a job and support a family.

I've been with the same woman for 27 years, and she has been my one and only intimate partner my whole life.

 

[P4PPY]

I've been with the same woman for 27 years, and she has been my one and only intimate partner my whole life.

WHOA!

 

[tgt]

I 'married' my wife the first time I slept with her (using a common euphemism), because by the standards I impose upon myself, I became bound to her for a lifetime (as long as both of us shall live).

Was she the first and only person you have slept with?

Did you marry her then sleep with her or vice versa? And why?

 

[lisab]

Was she the first and only person you have slept with?

Did you marry her then sleep with her or vice versa? And why?

Jeez, tgt, that's pretty personal!

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

I 'married' my wife the first time I slept with her (using a common euphemism).

Common indeed.
Father (holding shotgun): Did you sleep with my daughter?
Boyfriend (heading for the hills): No sir, not a wink.

 

[Moonbear]

Unless you take legal steps to give your partner the powers that marriage automatically grants, you won't be able to take on those responsibilities, even if you really want to, no matter how strong and intimate your relationship is.

And if you do take those legal steps...well, a rose by any other name, is still a rose...

Maybe responsibility isn't the right word – privilege? Unmarried, unrelated people do not have the legal authority to make those decisions (in the U.S.), unless they are appointed Power of Attorney.

Yes, that was the point I tried to make earlier. I don't really see marriage as a necessity for the affection and commitment...you should be able to accomplish that regardless of legal status. Rather, I see marriage as a whole lot easier way of establishing a bunch of legal contracts all bundled into one simple license fee and marriage certificate rather than needing to go out and fill out a half dozen or more individual legal documents and pay an attorney to make sure they're all done right to accomplish the same thing...not because you need it to bind your partner to you, but you need it to ensure THEY have the right to make the decisions you want them to be able to make, and no other relatives can butt their noses in and take those rights away from them.

That's actually a difficult thing about getting old enough to realize you're mortal while still single...you have to start thinking about things like assigning power of attorney to someone you really trust to make decisions on your behalf should you wind up unconscious after a bad car accident, for example. Having a spouse automatically gives them that responsibility for you should something like that happen, because it's assumed that the spouse is the person you trust enough to share your life with and who knows you better than all other people.

I think it's nonsense to say it changes your whole relationship in terms of any sort of affection though...relationships evolve over time naturally, but I don't see how a marriage has anything to do with it. That affection ought to be there before the marriage, and ought to still be there after the marriage, and the marriage itself is just an easy way of signing one document to settle things in the legal realm.

 

[Noone]

The hole point of marriage

Is to find some one that you really like and want to spend the rest of your time on this Earth with, then you plan ahead to make a wedding, the point of a wedding is to plan a day long trip or longer ahead of time before you go into it, to have the most fun and be as happy as you could be. Then there's the other concepts of what it mean's to the person undergoing it, this depends on the people and there back round, and traditions that they uphold. But in the past when it was first started, the whole point was to bond or mark your other in life, till the day you die :D but there are far to meany points of view of what marriage means, its just like the word love, has diffrent meanings to other people depending on the view of what it is. But it's true that religion has played a big role on the words that you recite when you under go the ritual.

 

[Noone]

Moonbear it totaly right... it isn't needed.. but people that don't under go the ritual, other people would have a harmfull perception of the actions that they do...

people lack a common understanding of what is needed and what is a false need

 

[Noone]

I will reframe from using the names of the organizeations that would have a harmfull perception of the peoples action's. But I am sure it doesn't need to be pointed out :D

allso if there heart and love is in the right spot, they will be togeather till the day they die, without having the ritual done. they would just do they own ritual that would mean a lot more to them, than one that was created by other's to simbolize there ever-lasting-bond of love. *a Tip* cut out the middle man :D it would be cheaper, and i think that would even make you more happy :)

 

[Noone]

people also like marriage now aday's for the benfit of filling out there taxes

 

[Noone]

what a nice added bonus :D spend a little make a little, doesn't that cramp on the hole concept of why people get hiched? well it tends to be a varriable in why they do. One of meany.

 

[Chi Meson]

I have a 6 year old daughter, and I'm a single parent.

As soon as Samantha was born... I got fixed :)

I plan on raising her with a realist perspective.

She says, "HEY!" by the way.

Nell says "Hi." She's about to turn 7. Simon (http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g254/brichid1765/PF uploads/SiMeson.jpg) is now 5, and Benny (on my shoulders there) is 3.

I got fixed too after Benny.