What do 'nerdy' guys like in girls?

[Lancelot59]

This is a forum of science! D:

The correct term is 'breasts'.

 

[Sourabh N]

BREEEASTS? BREAAASTS? nah..

 

[whybother]

you mean big boobs?

I think we talked about them before.. anyway, BOOOOOBS!

Is that such a bad quality? lol Big boob, pardon breasts :), on an attractive relativist? I think that's nerdy guy central.

 

[theCandyman]

Here's what guys who say "big boobs" are actually referring to: http://beyondjane.com/women/are-big-breasted-women-more-intelligent/

Now we have a (very poor) scientific reason for it! :)

 

[turbo]

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband
picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.

'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,' he replies.

'Put them back, we can't afford them,' demands the wife, and so they
carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream
and puts it in the basket.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.

'Its my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the
price.

On the PA system: 'Cleanup on aisle 25, we have a husband down.'

 

[27Thousand]

Let's turn the tables for a second: what qualities do 'nerdy' boys like in girls? ... However, a lot of them are incredibly cute and endearing but very shy and give off mixed signals.

I'm trying to figure out the same thing about "signals" right now. One plan I have is to create mathematical equations to say a general range of whether someone's interested.

Doubt it? Remember how in Algebra you had to solve for Y, look at the X & Y axis scatterplot, and solve for Y using the X variable? Well, in statistics they have some techniques if you have multiple X independent variables to predict a general range for a dependent Y variable, known as "multiple regression." y^ = b0 + b1x1 + b2x2 + ... I know they've done peer-review studies of body language and showing interest. If you have quite a few independent variables of Xn, then in some situations you can get a good general range. Maybe I could somehow get the data sets from the peer-review studies on flirting body language, combine from many different studies, combine other mathematical equations, and come up with a cool equation. I know it sounds nerdy, but hey if it helps.

Perhaps you could try something similar, but maybe there are peer-review studies on nerdy guys in particular and then derive your own mathematical equations?

 

[Lancelot59]

Or you have this equation:

Girls = Time + Money

Time = Money

Girls = Money^2

Money = sqrt(Evil)

Money ^ 2 = Evil

Girls = Evil

That sort of study actually sounds like an interesting idea. Definitely worth pursuing.

 

[f95toli]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8046617.stm" , the first female pilot in the Red Arrows.
She is obviously very bright and ambitious, something that I find very attractive,

And yes, she is also pretty (and single...).

 

[27Thousand]

Or you have this equation:That sort of study actually sounds like an interesting idea. Definitely worth pursuing.

Okay here's some food for thought in predicting general tendencies of women using math, let's think along these lines, in Algebra you learn how you have the Y & X axises, solve for Y, and predict Y from X. Well combining that with other principles, in mathematics/statistics they've created Linear Regression. Maybe if you have many X independent variables to look at you can increase the chances of figuring out the Y independent variable (whether she likes), or the concept of Multiple Regression. So first think

Then make it a multidimensional scatter plot, and when you have multiple X independent non-verbal behaviors and know the correlational coefficients for every single one, plus interaction effects (or interaction correlation coefficients), add it all up, predicting the Y dependent variable or the ability to read the woman may go up.

So what I want to do is email many of the authors of these peer-review journal articles begging them for their data sets. Then I could use statistical software to calculate an equation like:

y^ = b0 + b1x1 + b2x2 + ... bnxn
likelihood she likes guy ... (certain percent mathematical constant) times (non-verbal behavior yes or no) + (%)times(non-verbal behavior yes or no) + (%)times(two or possibly three happening at the same time) and so on with the equation. Then there could be an optimal cutoff threshold where after adding variables doesn't do much, but where excluding some may hinder predictability.

Then maybe something like Calculus could be added into take into account rate of change for the regression line which predicts. Then maybe other mathematical concepts could be added in.

 

[Lancelot59]

I think my brain just melted.

 

[27Thousand]

I think my brain just melted.

If it works? Since I haven't heard of mathematical equations being used to predict general tendencies of flirting in women before, it could be a new and useful idea?

 

[Lancelot59]

It could, but there's a lot of variables to take into account.

 

[Centurian]

Nerdy Guys like Nerdy Girls, but as we are guys we also like attractive girls.

 

[Dembadon]

Let's turn the tables for a second: what qualities do 'nerdy' boys like in girls?

I love 'nerdy' boys and I'm very lucky that my school is quite science and tech focused. However, a lot of them are incredibly cute and endearing but very shy and give off mixed signals. With other guys, it's fairly straight forward but I know quite a few self-professed 'dorks' that I would go out to dinner with if only they'd ask.

There have been numerous threads on what girls like in guys, but now I'm asking the opposite question; what do smart guys like yourselves like in girls? If possible, I'd be interested in opinions on or from college-aged guys. Thanks!

('Sex' is not an answer. Nice try, PF but I'm looking for more subtle points

For me, it would simply be an interest in the sciences. A plus would be a desire and excitement to learn.

There have been many occasions when just mentioning an episode of NOVA to my wife has brought about countless hours of great conversation. She has even asked that I wait before starting certain episodes before. While she does not have the same level of interest, or passion in my case, she is intrigued enough that I can share my excitement with her and enjoy the occasional debate and / or intellectual connection.

To give context to my mention of a "desire and excitement to learn"; there are many times when we are discussing something and a word, phrase, or subject arises about which neither of us knows anything. During those times we both like to open up the laptop and look up the word, phrase, or subject in question and learn about it. I don't know if I could handle spending much time with someone who can't be bothered to learn about the unknown.

 

[27Thousand]

For me, it would simply be an interest in the sciences. A plus would be a desire and excitement to learn.

There have been many occasions when just mentioning an episode of NOVA to my wife has brought about countless hours of great conversation. She has even asked that I wait before starting certain episodes before. While she does not have the same level of interest, or passion in my case, she is intrigued enough that I can share my excitement with her and enjoy the occasional debate and / or intellectual connection.

To give context to my mention of a "desire and excitement to learn"; there are many times when we are discussing something and a word, phrase, or subject arises about which neither of us knows anything. During those times we both like to open up the laptop and look up the word, phrase, or subject in question and learn about it. I don't know if I could handle spending much time with someone who can't be bothered to learn about the unknown.

That's sounds like a cool spouse!

 

[TheDoorsOfMe]

I agree with Dembadon, a curiosity is one of the most important things. Also what I think would help nerdy guys who are introverted is to date a Extroverted girl. Often it will take more effort by a girl to bring those types of guys out of their shell. But, I think in the long run it benefits both parties in the relationship. Because, that kind of girl can add excitement and different opportunities than a girl who is exactly like you. Extroverted people I find the older you get start finding introverted people more interesting. This is not as true in the adolescent years.

My GF is by far more social than I am. Which is great for me because often in social situations she takes the pressure off of me. Not that I am totally inept socially, it just doesn't come naturally to me like it does for her. And she loves talking about science and philosophy which is something she didn't have as much exposure to before dating me. Now she has to hear about it.

Basically I think opposites attract as long they are also like minded. Which I know doesn't make total sense but I know it does in mine, and a lot of other successful relationships I see.

 

[theJorge551]

Well, I usually look for these (but am usually pleasantly surprised with a different quality I hadn't quite anticipated):

1. Intelligence (not necessarily Marilyn Vos Savant level, but someone who can carry a meaningful conversation).
2. Ability to simply relax and extend that feeling to whoever she's around
3. Uniqueness
4. Confidence
5. Sense of humor

at least a couple of these qualities in a woman are enough to get me interested ;)

 

[Lancelot59]

but as we are guys we also like attractive girls.

Evolution at work...

 

[AverageJoe]

I'm just looking for a chick that is down to earth, isn't afraid of hard work and getting dirty while doing so and can understand what I'm saying even if it's not particularly interesting to her.
And I'll try to reciprocate those values in return. That's about it as I already know how to cook my own food and take care of myself.

Oh, not a slob. That's probably my pet peev.

 

[higgsnerd137]

For me it is someone who is VERY willing to debate.

 

[DanP]

To give context to my mention of a "desire and excitement to learn"; there are many times when we are discussing something and a word, phrase, or subject arises about which neither of us knows anything. During those times we both like to open up the laptop and look up the word, phrase, or subject in question and learn about it. I don't know if I could handle spending much time with someone who can't be bothered to learn about the unknown.

Would it be the same turn-on if the women would manifest thirst for knowledge in other ways ?
For example travel a lot, meet new ppl, understand new cultures 1st hand and not on internet, you got the idea.

Ill be frank with my case, first and fore-most (talking attraction here , not necessary long term relationship where other considerations enters in play supplementary ) I am attracted to physical attributes and easy going personality types, open and full of joy. Joy and nice smiles make my day.

 

[Dembadon]

Would it be the same turn-on if the women would manifest thirst for knowledge in other ways ?
For example travel a lot, meet new ppl, understand new cultures 1st hand and not on internet, you got the idea. ...

Absolutely. I was just giving one of many examples applicable to our situation.

 

[Leptos]

Women don't need wealth, power, or wit because they're physically attractive. Generally a man is attracted specifically to the body shape and health of a woman(both mental and physical). A woman may look at things such as how muscular or strong a man is but it's usually for a sense of security rather than direct sexual attraction and the same goes for a man's wealth, wit, etc.

There are certain differences in the male and female brain like how males tend to be better with mathematical and spatial thinking whereas women tend to be better with emotions, patterns, language, etc. It only makes sense that men and women have what resembles a symbiotic relationship. Men and women complement each other like peanut butter and jelly.

Anyway, these are just my opinions although a lot of it is heavily influenced by actual reasoning and information I've been presented with.

 

[Klockan3]

There are certain differences in the male and female brain like how males tend to be better with mathematical and spatial thinking whereas women tend to be better with emotions, patterns, language, etc.

Those vies don't go well with women, even though I somewhat agree with the concept but not the details.

 

[DaveC426913]

Women don't need wealth, power, or wit because they're physically attractive.

When did you grow up? The fifties?

 

[Dembadon]

Women don't need wealth, power, or wit because they're physically attractive.

When did you grow up? The fifties?

 

[Lancelot59]

When did you grow up? The fifties?

Nice one.

 

[Pythagorean]

Women don't need wealth, power, or wit because they're physically attractive. Generally a man is attracted specifically to the body shape and health of a woman(both mental and physical). A woman may look at things such as how muscular or strong a man is but it's usually for a sense of security rather than direct sexual attraction and the same goes for a man's wealth, wit, etc.

There are certain differences in the male and female brain like how males tend to be better with mathematical and spatial thinking whereas women tend to be better with emotions, patterns, language, etc. It only makes sense that men and women have what resembles a symbiotic relationship. Men and women complement each other like peanut butter and jelly.

Anyway, these are just my opinions although a lot of it is heavily influenced by actual reasoning and information I've been presented with.

(emphasis added)

I prefer to take the word of biologists who study sexual selection in humans. You may have hit on some common social aspects, but it seems to be a very narrow focus of what's actually going on.

Also, women do act on sexual attraction and judge males physically. It's a misnomer that they don't.

 

[zoobyshoe]

It's a misnomer that they don't.

misnomer :1 : the misnaming of a person in a legal instrument
2 a : a use of a wrong or inappropriate name b : a wrong name or inappropriate designation

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/misnomer

It's not a misnomer, it's a misconception. (Or, at least, it's your assertion that it's a misconception.)

 

[MotoH]

I look for women who enjoy long walks on the beach and candle lit dinners.

Also they must love to hunt and fish, and make an excellent sandwich.

 

[DaveC426913]

Also they must love to hunt and fish, and make an excellent sandwich.

http://www.bordom.net/view/26464/Well_you_better_come_back_with_a_goddamn_sandwich_
Warning: Do not read with your girlfriend looking over your shoulder.

 

[Hurkyl]

they must ... make an excellent sandwich.

Hrm. I had a snarky retort, but I don't feel like simultaneously playing straight-man...

 

[mcknia07]

lol, that's funny, buttttttt... my man better not ever do that one to me! haha, then we may have some problems...

 

[K29]

Nerdy guys do not "like" nerdy girls. All guys generally like 1 specific type of girl that is common to the vast majority males. Allow me to explain.

If you read some books such as "The science of human emotion" by Viktor Johnston you will see that through a somewhat evolutionary process, girls who posess certain physical traits, will have "better genes" and the male will be naturally attracted to her.

Now, most relationship gurus really suck. But eventually I found one that was more logic based and this guy changed my life with his knowledge. He specialises in the initial attraction stage. Anyway after reading some of David De Angelo's e-books such as "Attraction isn't a choice" it will soon become clear to you that although nerdy guys may "claim" to like nerdy girls, in general they simply have no choice but to "claim" so, as they simply can't picture themselves being with hot girls, or do not know how to attract them. (please read further. At this point a lot of you may start swearing at me)

Although the system here is somewhat complex, it is actually quite stable. By simply considering a bit of extrapolation from Darwin and some De Angelo insight we see the following system:

1.Attractive girls who won the genetic lottery, are attracted to guys who show things like confidence, alpha-male charactristics etc because this guarantees better "provider" characteristics, support of the child and ultimately survival. This is not a choice, its embedded in humans.
2.All guys are attracted to girls with characteristics showing good genes(yes indeed intelligence is one of them, but generally physical characteristics over-power all others. I have never seen a guy drool over a girl doing integration by parts) This increases the chances of good genes carrying down the evolutionary chain and thus improves survival of the species.
3. Girls not so hot will automatically "settle" for guys "not so alpha-male." And vice versa. This is quite fortunate as it guarantees maximum chances for the species as a whole to reproduce. This is not a conscious decision, but it is easy to see why the aforementioned people will probably deny this. In the society we live in its a bit of an ego blow. I don't mean to offend anyone.

[by the way I know it sounds like I was advertising those 2 books but I don't really feel like doing proper quotes and references. I'm having trouble with some DE's and should be doing that]

 

[LydiaAC]

Nerdy guys do not "like" nerdy girls.

I agree, nerd men like exactly the same women than the rest of men.

But your picture is not complete. Actually men are not so selective choosing sex partners because any sex act is a possibility of perpetuate their genes. They are only selective when choosing a wife, because they would need to invest a lot of resources on her.

Many guys, nerds or not, are attracted to nerdy girls. If they have a lucky sperm, they can be half-replicated and the offspring will be well cared for the smart mother, without investing anything. And they can marry another woman, hotter (that is, young and fertile) and have additional offsprings.

And another addition to the picture: what you find hot is good for sex, but not precisely for stand living with someone the rest of your life (or at least part of it). When they are more experienced, both men and women start considering this question. And taking this into account, nerd guys could be very well with a nerdy girl which is not surprised by his being all day working in the computer, not liking to go to parties, or so on.

When I was young I wanted to marry Subcomandante Marcos. It seemed like an Alpha Male to me (you know, definition of "alpha" depends on your political preference). I am sure Marcos would have been the worst husband in the world.

"Did you take the trash out?

No, I am busy trying to overthrow the corrupt government of Mexico"

Lydia