What Do You Do If You Were a Rock Star?

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by phoenixthoth1. what do you do if you only think you can change the map but you can't?
or
2. what do you do if you can change the map only if you agree to the contract first?

I'm not surprised no one has jumped into answer these two upbeat quetions.What do you do if the lovely, talented, vivacious mail order bride's motives for marrying you are impossible to penetrate because, along with her other talents she may well have the ability to counterfeit interest in you and it is a known fact that she can't stand the cold, but cannot emigrate to the warm climes of Zoobonia unless she is married to a Zooby?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if the lovely, talented, vivacious mail order bride's motives for marrying you are impossible to penetrate because, along with her other talents she may well have the ability to counterfeit interest in you and it is a known fact that she can't stand the cold, but cannot emigrate to the warm climes of Zoobonia unless she is married to a Zooby?

Congratulations ZOOB! on your impending marriage! (is that up-beat enough for you?)

What do you do if you are invited to Zoob's marriage to the incredibly vivascious (and appetizing) "Ms. Zoob" and you don't have the directions to Zoobonia??

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons What do you do if you are invited to Zoob's marriage to the incredibly vivascious (and appetizing) "Ms. Zoob" and you don't have the directions to Zoobonia??

As a matter of fact we were thinking of asking you if we could use your tented estate as the site of the reception party.

What do you do if the stunningly beautiful mail order bride happens to be suffering from the heartbreak of hyperluminescence, everyone has to shield their eyes from her brilliance, because one-man-think-tank, Mr. Robin Parsons, still hasn't discovered the cure, and no one gets to see how lovely she looks on her wedding day?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if the stunningly beautiful mail order bride happens to be suffering from the heartbreak of hyperluminescence, everyone has to shield their eyes from her brilliance, because one-man-think-tank, Mr. Robin Parsons, still hasn't discovered the cure, and no one gets to see how lovely she looks on her wedding day?

What do yo do if that don't 'woirk'?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons What do yo do if that don't 'woirk'?

Clearly, then, additional funding must be procured to hurry along the research and speed the cure. We'll solicit pennies from children, mites from widows, nickles from knickknack vendors.

What do you do if you're in a hurry to rush slowly?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if you're in a hurry to rush slowly?

Practise "Speed Patience" "Getting you nowhere, in a hurry, for milenia"

What do you do if you are the one selected to go first at the groom's ritual "Zoobonian Sexdual Pre-Predation Palping"?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons What do you do if you are the one selected to go first at the groom's ritual "Zoobonian Sexdual Pre-Predation Palping"?

When you and the groom retire to your private office for this procedure, and he says:"Let's don't and say we did." you agree, or die before your time.And now here's a very special guest quetion submitted by the dazzling, and vivacious maid-of-Minnesota herself for your consideration:

"What do you do if you travel land and sea, simply to see, and find your partner filled with adoration, but in a flash his love turns to damnaytion?"

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
"What do you do if you travel land and sea, simply to see, and find your partner filled with adoration, but in a flash his love turns to damnaytion?"

After I stop running, I would be "Graaaaaaate-full" as "All Get Go" simply for the relief!

Is that really how you 'schpell' "releaf"?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons Is that really how you 'schpell' "releaf"?

Deciduously speaking, yes.Given the following scene revealed when a curtain rises on a stage: a dark room with stone walls, many crude wood shelves containing stoppered bottles of all sizes, a large table covered with burbling and bubbling blown glass scientific apparatus, a large, ugly dog chained with spiked collar chained to a wall; who do you suppose should be hired to cater the wedding?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Given the following scene revealed when a curtain rises on a stage: a dark room with stone walls, many crude wood shelves containing stoppered bottles of all sizes, a large table covered with burbling and bubbling blown glass scientific apparatus, a large, ugly dog chained with spiked collar chained to a wall; who do you suppose should be hired to cater the wedding?

Dr. Ballard

What do you do if you are in the room "The Zoobyshoe" has described, Dr. Ballard is catering, and you are getting served (Burbling) Dog Food??

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons What do you do if you are in the room "The Zoobyshoe" has described, Dr. Ballard is catering, and you are getting served (Burbling) Dog Food??

You pass the burbling food to the bubbling dog, and boot the bumbling Ballard's behind.Since Mr. Robin Parsons is too valuable to waste on a lowly position such as best man should he be invited to serve as super man?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Since Mr. Robin Parsons is too valuable to waste on a lowly position such as best man should he be invited to serve as super man?

Uhmm just break down "Homeless" and you have "Home" (where you heart is, Uhmm 'the chest' I suspect) and "less" so I guess I would need be the "Less" man (Works in Zoobonia! doesn't it?)

What do you do if it doesn't work in Zoobonia?
(ha! ha! there's the Rub!)

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons What do you do if it doesn't work in Zoobonia?
(ha! ha! there's the Rub!)

Mies van der Rohe: "Less is more." Which brings us by commodius vicus of recirculation back to super man. Shaw or Nietzche via Joyce and architecture. What do you do if the Mail Order Bride from Minnesota is so flustered about which costume to wear at the Masquerade Bridal Shower that she as become a maniac torn between impersonating legendary Zoobonian warrior princess Aromatic Ann and dressing up in an ecclectic compound of various alter egos she has decided to call: Rain Cat Mona, she won't take any of your suggestions, and the shower is two days away?

 

[phoenixthoth]

i would have really regretted not getting that product guarantee policy the mail order catalogue offered for 10% of the purchase price. darn it all to heck!

what do you do if you find out that you were secretly placed in a mail order catalogue, she really ordered you, and she did get the return policy, and she's going to use it??

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by phoenixthoth what do you do if you find out that you were secretly placed in a mail order catalogue, she really ordered you, and she did get the return policy, and she's going to use it??

Consciously you rationalize her decision as being the only reasonable reaction to the conflict between her being a member of the Church of Bod Dob, The Pallindrome Boy, and your being a member of the less exotic, and more mainstream, Zoobonian Church of Zoobus, but inside you know she has realized you're not good enough for her.What do you do if you're five years old, playing in a sandbox with your buddy, and a strange, dark boy with pale skin and black clothes approaches and starts asking sad, unsettling questions?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if you're five years old, playing in a sandbox with your buddy, and a strange, dark boy with pale skin and black clothes approaches and starts asking sad, unsettling questions?

Ya run like all get go, Neverlanding back in that place ever again! (But grab a few souveniers on the way out, will ya)
{Oh yes, P.S. Call YOur Lawyer!)

What do you do if, someone posts a question in this form:

Original form of question
Aliterating aliteration always alludes at all alcolytes, allowing always, all alphabets (and anagrams) as anotating any alchemist as an "Archevil Aristocrate" arising ardently after adventing advise, archived after anno, as achievable after all affairs are affirmed as affirmatively aforementioned AFTER attacking an Aardvark avericiously attacking ants at aunty Anne's abode (@ afternoon's Amen) (above Abbotts alcove) around afternoon, all arriving at an abberational addition, added accumulatingly around 'alloween... A-O.K.? (<- DATS DUH QUETION)

?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted with strings attached by Mr. Robin Parsons ?

You reply that the alliterative word picher was quite interestingly surreal, but that Mr. Robin Parsons, like Pinocchio, is a real, live boy, and should not be mistaken for a marionette. What do you do if it seems that someone has fed Mr. Robin Parsons a special guest quetion, you don't know who or why, the quetion was a declarative sentence in quetion's clothing anyway, and the word rorschach keeps popping into your mind?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if it seems that someone has fed Mr. Robin Parsons a special guest quetion, you don't know who or why, the quetion was a declarative sentence in quetion's clothing anyway, and the word rorschach keeps popping into your mind?

Be! the Butterfly

What do you do to prepare yourself to become the butterfly in light of the fact that you are supposed to be present on Zoobonia for the wedding of the Zoobster to his well "whatever" (MMB) and you haven'd shed you skin yet but need to find the manner of detaching the strung out ones, anyways?

 

[Zargawee]

I would answer : The question Suppose to be "What do you do If" not "What do you do to" .


What do you do if you were still in 2003 with date 32/Dec/2003 ?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Zargawee
I would answer : The question Suppose to be "What do you do If" not "What do you do to" . And I would point out that that is not "an answer" but "a correction" or can't you tell the difference?


What do you do if you were still in 2003 with date 32/Dec/2003 ?

Buy a new calendar...

What would you do, if, you couldn't!?

 

[himanshu121]

Doesn't matter sun will going to rise irrespective of calendar

Happy New Year
What do You do, if, u are in Stone Age with no food

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by himanshu121
What do You do, if, u are in Stone Age with no food

Get a very adequate mineral content...in my new diet...

What do you do if you cannot do anything!??

 

[firefly]

What do you do if you cannot do anything!??

undo, of course. at that point, at very least, you should be able to redo the last thing you did... a stalemate of course... the equivalent of twiddling your thumbs which, however, by your own premise you can't actually do.

What do you do if the undo option is grayed out, and you've just clicked yes, having completed all credit card information and retinal scan recognition data, on a web page ordering your very very very own Minnesotian Mantis Bride?

 

[phoenixthoth]

i'd hit that invisble undo button in the sky. either that or hit the history eraser button that beckons me incessantly.

what do you do if you if the invisible undo button is greyed out and the history eraser button turns out to just be a reload button?

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by phoenixthoth
what do you do if you if the invisible undo button is greyed out and the history eraser button turns out to just be a reload button?

oh, i'd not worry: generally thse forms use a post/submit action and the form is reset (cleared) upon reload.

what do you do if you're using some newfangled web software that puts back every field you filled, and some you didn't, so basically the story of your life is being retransmitted, unencrypted, across the web, to your browser and who knows how many others worldwide, and all for your man-eating Minnie-bride?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by firefly what do you do if you're using some newfangled web software that puts back every field you filled, and some you didn't, so basically the story of your life is being retransmitted, unencrypted, across the web, to your browser and who knows how many others worldwide, and all for your man-eating Minnie-bride?

I have an absolutely adorable French Maid, good with computers, who takes care of all that stuff for me. What do you do if your MagnaMantisPredatory Bride is taking her sweet time making arrangements for your first meeting, you are impatient, and so begin to flirt with other women, tell her you are flirting with other women to inspire jealousy and action, and all she says is: "OK. Enjoy."?

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if your MagnaMantisPredatory Bride is taking her sweet time making arrangements for your first meeting, you are impatient, and so begin to flirt with other women, tell her you are flirting with other women to inspire jealousy and action, and all she says is: "OK. Enjoy."?

Do as she says, I mean, why not? You haven't even met the mantis yet! But a word of caution: "Inspiring jealousy" might very well increase activities which distract her althemore from the meeting arrangements.

What do you do if the MMP has, unbeknownst to you, already met you by "posing" as your French maid, and as such is sloooooowly feeling you out to make sure you are quite tender in the right parts, do not have unexpected bones to pick, and are therefore... SUITABLE FOR INGESTION?!

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by firefly
What do you do if the MMP has, unbeknownst to you, already met you by "posing" as your French maid, and as such is sloooooowly feeling you out to make sure you are quite tender in the right parts, do not have unexpected bones to pick, and are therefore... SUITABLE FOR INGESTION?!

Buy some BBQ Sauce and start playing the game of "Juxtaposition"

What do you do if you "burn your meat" on the BBQ?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons What do you do if you "burn your meat" on the BBQ?

"Burn your meat", being in quotation marks, clearly is intended to have a secondary meaning, but not being conversant with Canadian slang, it was obscure to me. I looked it up in several slang dictionaries without results. Therefore, finding yourself in this situation, all I can say is you ought not to have been BBQ-ing in the buff to begin with.What do you do if, while perusing the bookshelves looking for a dictionary of Canadian slang, you come across a slim, hardbound tome with the title: Linguistic Peculiarities Of One-Man-Canadian-Think-Tanks Of The Ontario Species?

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
[BWhat do you do if, while perusing the bookshelves looking for a dictionary of Canadian slang, you come across a slim, hardbound tome with the title: Linguistic Peculiarities Of One-Man-Canadian-Think-Tanks Of The Ontario Species? [/B]

Clearly, consult the volume for the meaning of this species' dialect "burn your meat", but you imply that you did that and came up empty-handed. Might I suggest to you then, that you consult this book again, and see if it offers insight to "linguistic peculiarities"of a different nature: the book may in fact contain illustrated descriptions of the toungue, possible variances within the species at different stages of development, and, of course, recipes for the barbecuing of the Ontarian One-Man-Canadian-Think-Tankian toungue, with or without complementary condiment (barbecue sauce).

What do you do if, armed with barbecue book and Think-Tank Trap, you set off on a hunt in the Ontario wilderness, dreaming BBQ Think-Tank toungue for dinner, and you indeed capture the beast - but the cornered Think-Tank decides to apply the juxtaposition principle to you, even though, being no MagnaMantis you may find both the Think-Tanks' gender and species objectionable, and be althemore helpless to districate yourself from this discomfort?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by firefly What do you do if, armed with barbecue book and Think-Tank Trap, you set off on a hunt in the Ontario wilderness, dreaming BBQ Think-Tank toungue for dinner, and you indeed capture the beast - but the cornered Think-Tank decides to apply the juxtaposition principle to you, even though, being no MagnaMantis you may find both the Think-Tanks' gender and species objectionable, and be althemore helpless to districate yourself from this discomfort?

Neologistically, many forms of districation are still open. For example, I might juxtaimpose some superior sorority sister (nuns hunt now and then, they're just not supposed to) beteen myself and the difficulty, or I might disjuxtapropose one of the many inverse square effects one finds at work in the Canadian Woods, thereby weakening the giraffe effect of his long toungue.
(18 inch tongues, they have)What do you do if, while crawling on all fours on a dark night, having just left the cardboard residence of a Polish aviator of your acquaintence, you percieve a blinking light in the distance with your swarmy martini-vision and you can't tell if it is a bioluninescent insect on the end of your nose or a traffic hazard warning light 100 yards away?

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if, while crawling on all fours on a dark night, having just left the cardboard residence of a Polish aviator of your acquaintence, you percieve a blinking light in the distance with your swarmy martini-vision and you can't tell if it is a bioluninescent insect on the end of your nose or a traffic hazard warning light 100 yards away?

Brake! Whether at nose, or ahead, you have a definite hazard. Not to mention the martini! Really!

What to you do if there were in fact an non-luminescent insect, now dislodged by braking, no hazard warning light, but also a police car behind you tailing you for some time (and whose blinking lights in your mirror gave rise to that martini-filtered hazard-blink effect), and you are breathalized and hit with a full DWI rap on the spot?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by firefly What to you do if there were in fact an non-luminescent insect, now dislodged by braking, no hazard warning light, but also a police car behind you tailing you for some time (and whose blinking lights in your mirror gave rise to that martini-filtered hazard-blink effect), and you are breathalized and hit with a full DWI rap on the spot?

I would insist the non-luminescent insect be arrested as well as my partner in crime, and later, with the help of a good lawyer, demonstrate it was the bug driving the whole time. What do you do if you're crawling on all fours in a crawl space above a ceiling trying to locate a break in a telephone line when a rat the size of a small dog pokes its head out of the insulation and says: "If I were you, I'd think twice about it,"?

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if you're crawling on all fours in a crawl space above a ceiling trying to locate a break in a telephone line when a rat the size of a small dog pokes its head out of the insulation and says: "If I were you, I'd think twice about it,"?

I'd be glad to have found the likely circuit-breaker, and I'd put an SEP field around the rat in order to fix the line.

What do you do if you are stuck in a crawl space with a phone-line-gnawing dog-sized rodent, and are fresh out of pink paint?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by firefly What do you do if you are stuck in a crawl space with a phone-line-gnawing dog-sized rodent, and are fresh out of pink paint?

Talking dog-sized rodents constitute SEP fields in and of themselves. I might, therefore, capture it for later use when engaged in stealthy persuits w/o the benefit of cover.What do you do if, after hours of searching through dusty ground paper insulation in a cramped and awkward crawl space, your jaw aching from holding the flashlight in your mouth, your vision thwarted by the salt lines of dried sweat that criss cross the lenses, you finally discover that the problem is due to the line having been neatly severed and routed into a small extraterrestrial spacecraft nestled in the insulation, and a peak through the window reveals a miniature space alien sitting at a computer logged on to PF who has been answering all your posts for months now under a wide variety of pseudonyms?