You surreptitiously look the answer up in the Farmer's Guide to Today's Weather, and `What Do You Do If...' Quetions for the BewilderedWhat do you do if your gas and electric bill arrives and you find you're being charged an extra $45.00 for a three CD set of the zither stylings of Pablo Monolo?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if, you are zoobyshoe, and you cannot think up a responce to this question?
Celebrate! where else (on the face of the planet) could you possibly get an Original Copy of Pablo Monolo's most beautiful works (of muzak) for such an incredibly low "one time price"!Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if your gas and electric bill arrives and you find you're being charged an extra $45.00 for a three CD set of the zither stylings of Pablo Monolo?
I think, then, I might have found a place to store my collection of pig shaped maple leaves.What do you do if, upon hearing the "stylings" of zitherist Pablo Manolo, you realize this is a pseudonym for zither master, Mr. Robin Parsons, who is apparently exploring the world of 1960s show tunes under an assumed name because he doesn't want his public to know he likes that kind of music?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if there are No 'extras' included for free with the album, or hidden in the Albums Jacket/covering??
Call for an ambulance, get that shrub strapped down to the gurney, and whiz it off to a tree surgeon as fast as possible.What do you do if a battered and bleeding, gorilla chewed jimmy pOriginally posted by jimmy p
What do you do if a battered and bleeding, gorilla-chewed jimmy p steps back into the scene? with...a SHRUBBERY!
I would warn him not to take her to play pool because, although she has two "right" feet, she has two "left" hands, which is a big drawback on account of her being right handed.What do you do if that sounded like some subtly witty remark but was actually completely meaningless?Originally posted by jimmy p
What do you do if the BPO falls for jimmy p?
Given that her and I had nuptuals, recently, Divorce!Originally posted by jimmy p
What do you do if the BPO falls for jimmy p?
Try both...Originally posted by jimmy p
...
what do you do if you don't know which one to answer?
Admit it and move on..Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if that sounded like some subtly witty remark but was actually completely meaningless?
Combine the two quetions into a third quetion the answer to which is not the original ambi-satisfactory answer. What do you do if the answer to the third, sythesized quetion happens by accident to be the birthdate of US President George W. Bush if he had been born in 1869, and his name had been W. George Busch, and he had never been president, rather, if he had been the hitherto unknown great-great grandfather of current tax assessor of the township of Wigsburg, Oklahoma, F. Steven Busch, not to be confused with F. Stephen Busch who seems to be unaffiliated with the US government in any capacity?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons What do you do if both answers are the same, even though the questions are completely different?
Humm while traveling in Wigsburg South I happened upon a BPO who had informed me that there had been in existence a person of such a carriance, BUT that is neither "here, nor, there" (Nor "everywhere" for that matter) inasmuch as all of it is irrelevant unless it is an Election year in which case it is then the lynchpin of the Electoral colleges inasmuch as it is inasmuch...so there!Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if the answer to the third, syNthesized quetion happens by accident to be the birthdate of US President George W. Bush if he had been born in 1869, and his name had been W. George Busch, and he had never been president, rather, if he had been the hitherto unknown great-great grandfather of current tax assessor of the township of Wigsburg, Oklahoma, F. Steven Busch, not to be confused with F. Stephen Busch who seems to be unaffiliated with the US government in any capacity?
Start asking indecent ones!Originally posted by jimmy p
What do you do if you find it harder and harder to find decent questions to ask?
Try running back into it...but I don't thunk that that wll solve your problem, but...Originally posted by jimmy p
What do you do if you run out of toilet paper?
You tenderly post them in a thread like this in the fond hope that some genius from nowhere will pop into transform your problems to gold.What do you do if, having transmogrified your problems to gold, you are now so heavy you can't move?Originally posted by jimmy p
What do you do if you have problems?
Call your friend Zoobyshoe and offer to pay Him LARGE to transport you, and your gold back to safe-keeping.Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if, having transmogrified your problems to gold, you are now so heavy you can't move?
You know, it's completely uninteresting you should ask that question, because a Polish aviator of my acquaintance once sent me a kit full of various treatments for snakebite, scorpion sting, frostbite, heatstroke and dermatitis, but there was nothing for this sort of thing.What do you do if you're repelling down the wrong side of the famous tower in Pisa?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if, along the way to the bank, Zoobie (yshoe) (The Cat!) turns to you, and plants a really big wet one right on your lips!??
Grab the pasta, run back up the wrong side of the tower, drop half of the pasta, along with a "heavy metal ball" to see if you can stike two of the protesters, At the SAME TIME, repeat till successful!Originally posted by jimmy p
What do you do if repelling down the tower of Pisa was sacriledge in Italy and when you got to they bottom, the large crowd was actually an angry mob with pitchforks and pasta!
Actually, it is running backward. What happens is that the interneurons of the brain are confused buy this and begin to regurgitate acetylcholine, Cl+, and to ingest Na+ and K+ along with whatever peperoni molecules are handy, and they begin to run backward making the internet look normal. I would suggest Bakobrake, 37.5 mgs in the morning and double at night, taken with a glass of Parson's Sparkling Aged Vodka and this should get the internet running in reverse in your corticle neurons, particularly the precentral web strip, located anterior to the postcentral browser strip which is dorsal to the medial server oblongata, bilaterally, just beneath the coronal hypogoogle.What do you do if you're one of the unfortunate 9 out of 10 people for whom Bakobrake is contraindicated do to its tendency to interact with the neurotransmitter Parsonophrene and prevent its reuptake by turning it into ZOBA a rare but powerful inhibiting neurotransmitter, the result of which is to cause the patient to experience extreme embarrassment when confronted by the sight of anything going backward?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if, testing your knowledge of the internet, being all "Zero's and Ones", you reverse it to all "Ones and Zero's" and it still won't run backwards?
Well I would suggest you consult with the "People inside the screen" as they would know, without exception(!), exactly what to do with such inversional properties and the resultant charcteristics and the 'pursuite' eminating character flaws...Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if you're one of the unfortunate 9 out of 10 people for whom Bakobrake is contraindicated do to its tendency to interact with the neurotransmitter Parsonophrene and prevent its reuptake by turning it into ZOBA a rare but powerful inhibiting neurotransmitter, the result of which is to cause the patient to experience extreme embarrassment when confronted by the sight of anything going backward?
I am not of the opinion that these are actual "people", rather that the computer monitor is hallucinating an internal presence separate from its own mind. This is caused by a buildup of excess electron bile on the bottom of the cathode ray tube, which can't be cleaned out without breaking the vacuum, so we must learn to live with it. What do you do if you have a strong desire to say "All the crazy threads, and all the nut-forums in the world, and she had to walk into mine." ?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if you write your message, to the "People inside the screen" and then, and only then, realize you haven't a clue who the "People inside the screen" really are?
Recognize my masculinity, and drop the "S" from (S)he...He he!Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if you have a strong desire to say "All the crazy threads, and all the nut-forums in the world, and she had to walk into mine." ?
I would just rewrite the question. No need for novas.What do you do if you're on a steamer to the antarctic and the galley helper woman who is beyond obese, hirsuit, alcoholic, and always seems to smell like Ajax, crawls into your bunk one night, wakes you up, and asks you to tell her again how the swing of her breasts when she scrubs the galley floor reminds you of the sloshing of the wavelets against the hull in calm harbors?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if the weather report tells of the coming fine weather?
Remind her that your bunk is in exactly the same placment just opposite on the side...Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if you're on a steamer to the antarctic and the galley helper woman who is beyond obese, hirsuit, alcoholic, and always seems to smell like Ajax, crawls into your bunk one night, wakes you up, and asks you to tell her again how the swing of her breasts when she scrubs the galley floor reminds you of the sloshing of the wavelets against the hull in calm harbors?
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if, after you remind her of just who her "true love" truly is, she doesn't leave, and starts looking at you as if you should be her new "true love"...replacing "the Cat"!?
In a dire situation such as that, my concern for her mistake would be of a degree such that I would leap from the bunk and toss to her that most precious of things she had forgotten in her haste: her bottle of Parsons™ Sparkling Aged Vodka.Originally posted by firefly
What do you do if a dejaxified FAT! woman, quite immobilized by incessant piteous caterwauling, suddenly develops a spiritual need to be at one with the darling wavelets, and to slosh her swinging breasts happily among them ... OVERBOARD ! ?
Take a swig of the Vodka and respond aHahahahahahahahaHa! ha!Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if someone begins to cachinnate at your expense in the following unusual manner: "Hªh hªh hªh!" ?
Sounds like a stalemate to me. Of course it does depend on exactly which and how blanks are filled, relative to the positions of the b(r)easts involved. I suggest you liberally dowse any remaining parts not belonging to you with that vicious Vodka - it may have what it takes to disinfect the disinfectant, and dispell the burden bearing b(r)east away from you. If this does not work, you are (fill in the blank).Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
what do you do if that kind of a response simply brings back the "ajaxinated breasts", right up into your (fill in the blank)?
Originally posted by firefly
Sounds like a stalemate to me. Of course it does depend on exactly which and how blanks are filled, relative to the positions of the b(r)easts involved. I suggest you liberally dowse any remaining parts not belonging to you with that vicious Vodka - it may have what it takes to disinfect the disinfectant, and dispell the burden bearing b(r)east away from you. If this does not work, you are (fill in the blank). Drunk as a skunk on Cheap (I'll get you for calling Parsons Sparkling Vodka Cheap you little {or Big...I don't know!} fill in with expletives) Parsons Brand® Sparkling Spring Vodka so remember "If your Vodka doesn't Sparkle, it probably isn't Parsons Brand!" (ya Cheap wino!) Consider "the Blank" filled...hee hee
What do you do if someone else fills in all your blanks, and so manages to ajaxinate you?