Write a Limerick: Join the Thread!

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In summary, the old man from Nantucket got lost on his way to the can, and looked all around but couldn't find it. He improvised with an old pan and felt like a fool because there was no water in the pool. The absent minded jellyfish lives on a far away planet and everyone talks to him because he has tentacles and he'll wear shoes and remember stockings but he'll never remember one person's name. The boy with a problem couldn't tell his head from his bottom and when Zooby told him his rhyme wasn't good, the poet went into a rage and kissed him.
  • #71
My apartment is falling to pieces
And it seems my rent only increases
The walls are bright orange
I'm missing a door-hinge
And so I'll be through when my lease is.
 
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  • #72
Excellent work, Oh young, gelatinous sea-creature! You found a rhyme for "orange"!
 
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  • #73
zoobyshoe said:
and the reader doesn't have to do any gymnastics to make it work.

These words took me quite by surpise.
I couldn't believe my eyes.
one's ___ in one's ear
needs 'gymnastics' my dear.
Your statement was nothing but lies.

It turns out you spoke of the prose,
not the subject the author chose.
I felt quite a tit
when i realized it.
but yes, the rhyme certainly flows.
 
  • #74
That Nantucket tale is not "prose".
It's a poem about a long hose.
So while mildly gymnastic
He was not that fantastic,
As a maker of leg knots and bows.
 
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  • #75
Are my rhymes really that bad?
Cause if they are i'll be sad.
I guess it's time to hand over the throne,
and where is greg with that smilie, the moan?
Don't worry I'm not too mad.

-- If I do suck, then I blame this whole limmerick thing, I don't like having to throw in that last sentence. Damn mykeybard is srewing up!
 
  • #76
mattmns said:
-- If I do suck, then I blame this whole limmerick thing, I don't like having to throw in that last sentence. Damn mykeybard is srewing up!
My kyboard is als erratic
It mkes me type lke a spastic
Nowthespacebar'sstppedspacing
andican'tdouppercasing
whatameaninglesswasteofplastic
 
  • #77
zoobyshoe said:
Here is THE classic limerick:
There once was a lad from Nantucket
Whose ____ was so long he could ___ it.
He said with a grin,
As he licked off his chin,
If my ear was a ____ I could ___ it.
There once was a lad from Nantucket
Whose tongue? was so long he could not cluck? it.
He said with a grin,
As he licked off his chin,
If my ear was a candy? I could lick? it.
 
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  • #78
mattmns said:
Are my rhymes really that bad?
Cause if they are i'll be sad.
I guess it's time to hand over the throne,
and where is greg with that smilie, the moan?
Don't worry I'm not too mad.

-- If I do suck, then I blame this whole limmerick thing, I don't like having to throw in that last sentence. Damn mykeybard is srewing up!
It's not the rhymes, they're fine. Your rhythms are all cranky and clunky. Learn from the Nantucket limerick. In Limerick terms, it's like the force. "Feel the Nantucket Limerick, Luke! Sense it all around you!"
 
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  • #79
zoobyshoe said:
It's not the rhymes, they're fine. Your rhythms are all cranky and clunky. Learn from the Nantucket limerick. In Limerick terms, it's like the force. "Feel the Nantucket Limerick, Luke! Sence it all around you!"
I tried that and I got tickled in my ear. Scared the bejesus out of me.

While you're perfectly able to rhyme
You should learn from Zoobie's paradigm
Of how verses scan
So the lines therein can
Last equal durations of time
 
  • #80
Gnome sent a pic pos'd as a pasha
Said he was staying with Natasha
First I could not know
Until I guess'd how
He must have travel'd on to Russia!
 
  • #81
My name is Lisa!
I always eat pizza.
Whenever I feel sad,
your words make me mad
Lisa pizza Lisa pizza! :cool:

<zoobie isn't around here, is he? :rolleyes:>
 
  • #82
Lisa! said:
My name is Lisa!
I always eat pizza.
Whenever I feel sad,
your words make me mad
Lisa pizza Lisa pizza! :cool:
<zoobie isn't around here, is he? :rolleyes:>
There was a young lady named Lisa!
Who fell from the tower of Pisa
Landed on her head
Henceforth all that she said
Was nothing but nonsense to me, sir!

Of course, I jest. o:)
 
  • #83
A young lady was nam'd Lisa!
She might have spew'd like a geysa!
That's lotsa hot water
Which rise from a crater
'Tho she is a good advisa!
 
  • #84
there was a guy
totally hi-fi
the ultimate man
dont mess with him, else "BAHM!"
cos he's totally hi-fi
 
  • #85
When Newton observed a red fruit
Smash apart on the ground near his boot,
He looked at the moon,
And he started to swoon,
Cause if that fell then he would be moot.
 
  • #86
zoobyshoe said:
When Newton observed a red fruit
Smash apart on the ground near his boot,
He looked at the moon,
And he started to swoon,
Cause if that fell then he would be moot.

:smile::smile::smile:
that was the ultimate one, i think.:smile:
 
  • #87
El Hombre Invisible said:
There was a young lady named Lisa!
Who fell from the tower of Pisa
Landed on her head
Henceforth all that she said
Was nothing but nonsense to me, sir!
Of course, I jest. o:)
There was an invisible man,
who was very deadpan.
His jokes were so awful
He treated me like a fool.
He liked to get a suntan!

Of cours, I jest too!o:)
 
  • #88
For any of of you who are still unsure of the rhythm:

A limerick is in 4/4 time (EDIT: I guess since it's in triplets it should be 12/8 or something). The strong accents go on the first and third beat and the weak accents go on the second and fourth beat. In a limerick, there is always some sort of rest at the end of each line. Also in a limerick there is often an eighth-note long pickup before the first beat. In addition, the first, second, and fifth line rhyme.
Code: 
[COLOR="Silver"]-----[/COLOR]1st beat                3rd beat
[COLOR="Silver"]--------[/COLOR]|                      |
there ONCE was a Man from nanTUCKet
[COLOR="Silver"]--[/COLOR]|              |                    |
pickup         2nd beat            rest (4th beat)
in music notation, it would look like
Code: 
[COLOR="Silver"]-----[/COLOR]|                                             |
[COLOR="Silver"]-[/COLOR]|\  |  |--|--|   |--|--|   |\  |                  |
[COLOR="Silver"]-[/COLOR]|   |  |  |  |   |  |  |   |   |  (rest & pickup) |
x|   | x| x| x|  x| x| x|  x|  x|                  |
[COLOR="Silver"]-----[/COLOR]|                                             |
Now, the rhythm doesn't have to be exactly like that, but the accents must be in the right spot.
The next important thing is that the rhythm pattern that you establish from line one must be the same in lines 2 and 5.

There once was a man from Nantucket.
Whos ____ was so ____ he could pluck it.

la LA la la La la la LA la (rest)
la LA la la La la la LA la (rest)

Now the 4th and 5th line are halved (which some of you aren't getting). They also rhyme with each other, but do not rhyme with the first, second, and fifth. The time switches to 2/2 (or if you prefer, each line gets two beats in 4/4). The accent still goes on the first beat of the measure (and the 3rd if you're in 4/4)

he SAID with a Grin
and WIPED off his Shin

Those two lines should take as long to say together as one of the longer lines plus its rest.

la LA la la La (quick rest)
la LA la la La (quick rest)

(I don't feel like writing the music again)

And the last line is rhythmically the same as the first and second and rhyme with them as well.
__ ___ ___ ___ ___ Peking duck-it.

You should be able to feel the stresses even though most of the line is blank.

Now, in practice, these rules can be stretched just a bit for the sake of fitting better words. But what makes a great limerick is the choosing of the best fitting words for the context and staying within the prescribed rhythm.

Good luck
 
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  • #89
Another card sent by the Gnome
Had a postmark that said "from Rome"
It pictur'd th'Pope
And gave me hope
That the Gnome is still on a roam

(I can't play the piano, either.) :smile:
 
  • #90
Limericks have a triplet feel.
You might say hey no big deal,
but bend the time rules,
and you'll all sound like fools,
and your rhymes will sound quite surreal.
 
  • #91
zoobyshoe said:
Excellent work, Oh young, gelatinous sea-creature! You found a rhyme for "orange"!
You must be from California to think that rhymed! :bugeye:
 
  • #92
Thanks Jelfish for setting us straight.
Although all my poems are great.
When it comes to gender,
you catcher or sender?
Cause Artman could sure use a date.
 
  • #93
I'm confused; are you asking my sex?
Please wait while I check out my specs
But speaking of Artman
He is quite the smart man
I'm male but for him, I'd be flex.
 
  • #94
excellent. very funny
 
  • #95
Moonbear said:
You must be from California to think that rhymed! :bugeye:

I'm originally from Boston and it rhymes according to my "accent". Orange's "or" is pronounced like the "or" in core, store, poor, door. The "ange" part is pronounced "inj" like "injustice", which also rhymes with "hinge." If you then add in a bit of a cockney accent, the h in hinge disappears and you get a perfect rhyme!
 
  • #96
Name that mathematician:

This man's not an Edmonton skata'
But he married e to i theta
And though he went blind
Still managed to find
Gamma's cousin, the integral beta
 
  • #97
LeBrad said:
Name that mathematician:

This man's not an Edmonton skata'
But he married e to i theta
And though he went blind
Still managed to find
Gamma's cousin, the integral beta

I don't know who it is, but it's a very fine limerick.
 
  • #98
Moonbear said:
You must be from California to think that rhymed! :bugeye:
I do pronounce it "or-inge". Don't know where I picked that up, though.
 
  • #99
LeBrad said:
Name that mathematician:

This man's not an Edmonton skata'
But he married e to i theta
And though he went blind
Still managed to find
Gamma's cousin, the integral beta

"e to i theta"? "integral beta"? Must be Euler
 
  • #100
It's four and I'm still wide awake.
And tomorrow a test I will take.
I'll give up this fight
and write lim'ricks all night
to see now how many I'll make
 
  • #101
Astonishing! look what I found!
In my fridge slowly forming a mound
on the bread was some mold
it was several weeks old
And in back, something's moving around.
 
  • #102
I'm sitting here drinking a pepsi
To stay awake, it's the first step, see?
My flourecent light
is flick'ring and bright
Good thing I don't have epilepsy
 
  • #103
This is starting to get kind of dumb
I'm just sitting here twiddling my thumb
I should practice my horn
or search for some porn
I'd fall asleep after I ...
 
  • #104
Ok I think that I'm done
I guess this was mildly fun
I'll open a text
and fall asleep next,
before I can start to see sun.
 
  • #105
All very excellent, Jelfish!
 

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