Your wish is granted: You now know all the answers, but nobody believes you.

[Mk]

I think you need a wish Echo.

 

[Math Is Hard]

I think you need a wish Echo.

I wish Echo 6 Sierra would make a wish.

 

[twisting_edge]

EDIT: DANGIT! I wish I could remember to make a wish.

Your wish is granted. You are consumed with the desire to place wishes in this game, displacing all other activities in your life (assuming you had any to start with, of course).

I wish Zotchie (my cat) was just slightly less feral in her behavior.

(It's easy to come up with a wish when one is in the process of losing one's toes to the vicious little beast even as one types.)

 

[theCandyman]

I wish Zotchie (my cat) was just slightly less feral in her behavior.

Granted, your cat has become so domesticated it starts sleeping in your bed and using the bathroom when you need to use it.

I wish for world peace.

 

[twisting_edge]

I wish for world peace.

Your wish is granted. A dictator takes over the entire world and enslaves all the people. Those that would resist have been entirely eradicated.

I wish my car ran well without consuming any fuel.

P.S.: Zotchie already sleeps on the bed (the more easily to fang me at her leisure when she wakes up for a midnight snack), and uses the bathroom when I do.

 

[BobG]

Granted, your cat has become so domesticated it starts sleeping in your bed and using the bathroom when you need to use it.

I wish for world peace.

Granted. The Sun will become a red giant, bringing everlasting peace on Earth.

I wish I had some sunscreen.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Granted. The Sun will become a red giant, bringing everlasting peace on Earth.

I wish I had some sunscreen.

Granted. Unfortunately, it's tuna fish flavored sunscreen and now a pack of feral cats follows you everywhere you go.

I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner.

 

[Moonbear]

I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner.

I can't resist...your wish is granted. Unfortunately, you discover that Oscar Mayer is more twisted than your wish and dips his weiner into places you never wanted to go (it was tough keeping this one PG-13 ).

I wish I had someone to do my laundry for me.

 

[turbo]

I can't resist...your wish is granted. Unfortunately, you discover that Oscar Mayer is more twisted than your wish and dips his weiner into places you never wanted to go (it was tough keeping this one PG-13 ).

I wish I had someone to do my laundry for me.

Your wish is granted. The big, trollish-looking fellow who lives by the bridge takes your clothes down to the river and pounds them with rocks. Unfortunately, you are still wearing them.

I wish that my (t)rusty old Nissan pickup would never wear out.

 

[BobG]

I can't resist...your wish is granted. Unfortunately, you discover that Oscar Mayer is more twisted than your wish and dips his weiner into places you never wanted to go (it was tough keeping this one PG-13 ).

I wish I had someone to do my laundry for me.

Granted. I'll do your laundry for you. You don't mind if everything comes out the same color, right? It'll make it easier to color coordinate your outfits. You're not too picky about the size either, right? The tighter, the better.

I really wish I had ...

No, wait, I can't just repeat the same wish.

I wish I had a leaf blower.

 

[twisting_edge]

I wish I had someone to do my laundry for me.

Your wish is granted. You are now married to Quasimodo.

I wish they'd quit cutting down all the trees on my street.

 

[SticksandStones]

Your wish is granted. The trees grow so large, that they cause damage to the power lines and catch fire.

I wish for a new tree.

 

[Moonbear]

I had no idea so many people would jump to do my laundry!

I wish that my (t)rusty old Nissan pickup would never wear out.

I wish I had a leaf blower.

I wish they'd quit cutting down all the trees on my street.

All three are granted: they quit cutting down all the trees on t_e's street, and start cutting down all the ones in BobG's neighborhood instead. Unfortunately, they have also delivered all the leaf blowers to BobG's neighborhood, so all the leaves dropped by the new forest growing in t_e's neighborhood must be raked by hand. turbo's pick up never wears out, but it also never turns off and sounds a lot like a leaf blower running all night long. His neighbors are threatening to club him with the logs they collected from BobG's neighborhood.

Well, since I got such wonderful help with the laundry......I wish for a new wardrobe.

 

[BobG]

I had no idea so many people would jump to do my laundry!







All three are granted: they quit cutting down all the trees on t_e's street, and start cutting down all the ones in BobG's neighborhood instead. Unfortunately, they have also delivered all the leaf blowers to BobG's neighborhood, so all the leaves dropped by the new forest growing in t_e's neighborhood must be raked by hand. turbo's pick up never wears out, but it also never turns off and sounds a lot like a leaf blower running all night long. His neighbors are threatening to club him with the logs they collected from BobG's neighborhood.

Well, since I got such wonderful help with the laundry......I wish for a new wardrobe.

Granted. You've just inherited all the costumes from 'Brady Bunch, The Movie'.

I wish togas were back in style.

 

[twisting_edge]

I wish togas were back in style.

Your wish is granted. You now live with a bunch of people who watched Animal House far too many times for their (or anyone else's) good.

I wish I were as good at coming up with wishes as I am at the snappy answers.

[edit: the original wish was "I wish I had a really powerful computer", but I changed it immediately...evidently not soon enough, though.]

 

[Evo]

I wish I were as good at coming up with wishes as I am at the snappy answers.]

Your wish is granted. Now you can't come up with snappy answers OR wishes.

I wish I had turkey sandwich.

 

[turbo]

Your wish is granted. Now you can't come up with snappy answers OR wishes.

I wish I had turkey sandwich.

Your wish is granted. You have dry breast meat on white bread with no mayo seasonings, or anything else. Unfortunately, that is the only food you get from now on.

I wish it was tomorrow already, so I can eat the from-scratch pumpkin pie that's in the oven.

 

[Moonbear]

I wish it was tomorrow already, so I can eat the from-scratch pumpkin pie that's in the oven.

Granted, unfortunately, the pumpkin pie is STILL in the oven and burnt to little more than ashes by morning, but you get to enjoy licking up the dust.

I wish I had woken up a few hours earlier today to have gotten a few more chores done by now.

 

[McGyver]

Your wish is granted! From now on, every day you wake up - it will be November 22nd, 2006. After several repeating days, you will either figure out an efficient way to perform these chores in less time, thereby creating additional open time - or - you will decide the chores are unnecessary, and then you will have lots of available time.

I wish I didn't have to learn and remember tasks in my office.

 

[Neohaven]

I wish I didn't have to learn and remember tasks in my office.

You forget all your tasks because you think they aren't necessary. Then you get fired by your boss who says you can't remember a thing. You fall into despair and life the rest of your life regretting that statement.

I wish I had a very powerful computer.

 

[twisting_edge]

I wish I had a very powerful computer.

Did you ever hit the jackpot this time! You not only have a very powerful computer, it runs a new, improved, Very Powerful Operating System, guaranteed to crash every five minutes since no one else has run it often enough to find the millions of bugs in the code.

I wish Evo would quit watching Oprah.

 

[Moonbear]

I wish Evo would quit watching Oprah.

Granted! She instead watches Dr. Laura and Dr. Phil faithfully and psychoanalyzes your every move. She's diagnosed you with half of the disorders in the DSM IV, all based upon your reluctance to buy her a Teddy Ruxpin.

I wish for a good night's sleep tonight.

 

[Evo]

I wish for a good night's sleep tonight.

Your wish is granted, except you sleep so soundly that you don't hear the group of homeless people that break into your house and decide to eat your Thanksgiving leftovers around the campfire they've built in the middle of your living room.

I wish Twisting_Edge owned a TV (we could watch Oprah together in our matching housecoats and fuzzy slippers).

http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/3470/honesty5b15ddm3.jpg

 

[twisting_edge]

I wish Twisting_Edge owned a TV (we could watch Oprah together in our matching housecoats and fuzzy slippers).

Your wish is granted. I now own a $6,000 wide-screen HDTV. Being the parsimonious little creep I am, I immediately turn around and sell it, socking the money away where no auditor will ever find it.

I wish I owned my own business again.

 

[McGyver]

Granted. Your new business does the accounting for numerous types of medical practitioners, including Evo's psychotherapist practice.

I wish all women were irrestibly attracted to me and my every whim!

 

[moose]

I wish all women were irrestibly attracted to me and my every whim!

Granted. The surge of women coming to your door has caused a MAJOR shortage of nurses, secretaries, acountants, weather anchors, cafeteria workers, bakers at grocery stores, florists, flight attendants, waitresses, you name it! Oh, and you were killed instantly by the huge mass of women flying into you. On top of that, all the husbands became angry and now there is a nationwide riot against ME for granting your wish.

I wish that this Cola was colder...

 

[Moonbear]

I wish that this Cola was colder...

Granted. It's now -125 C, and you just got instant frostbite on your hands, lips, tongue and most of your internal organs from picking it up and taking a sip.

I wish the malls wouldn't be so crowded today so I could get a little shopping done on my day off (I hate crowds).

 

[twisting_edge]

I wish the malls wouldn't be so crowded today so I could get a little shopping done on my day off (I hate crowds).

Your wish is granted. You arrive at the mall to find it empty with large crowds milling around outside. There's been specific intelligence that terrorists plan to blow up the mall, and it has been evacuated. The police forgot to cordon off the door you entered through until after you were inside. During their sweep of the now-sealed mall, they pick you up as a person of interest. Coupled with your recent grant from Abu Dhabi...

I wish my camera were better able to capture the subtleties of light.

 

[turbo]

I wish my camera were better able to capture the subtleties of light.

Your wish is granted. Unfortunately, the very large S/N ratio makes your images very harsh and unrealistic, and they are impossible to repair even with extensive Photoshopping. I have flattened the color response as well to mimic the performance of a spectroscope instead of mimicing the color sensitivities of the human eye. Your photographs are technical wonders and everybody thinks they are ugly.

I wish I had a digital equivalent of my trusty old Bronica ETRS with its wonderful Zenzanon lenses.

 

[Neohaven]

You have one, but the card type is so weird you can't find a reader to print out or see the pictures.

I wish I didn't like those threads as much as I do...

 

[mbrmbrg]

Your wish is granted: now you're obsessed with mind-numbingly idiotic threads by toothpick lovers.

I wish I would do my homework instead of procrastinating.

 

[~christina~]

I wish I would do my homework instead of procrastinating.

Your wish is granted but never finish your homework.

I wish that my cat would stop shedding.

 

[Moonbear]

I wish that my cat would stop shedding.

Your wish is granted, your cat drops dead, no more shedding.

I wish someone would prepare and serve me dinner tonight so I don't have to do it myself.

 

[turbo]

Your wish is granted - you are confined to bed in a nursing home. The aide will wipe the drool from your chin after feeding you.

I wish the weather would turn nice so my garden would take off.

 

[Moonbear]

I wish the weather would turn nice so my garden would take off.

Your wish is granted. As the weather changes from bad to nice, a thunderstorm with tornadoes runs through and your garden takes off with the tornado.

I wish I had some of turbo's salsa to go with tortilla chips to snack on while waiting for dinner. (Can you tell I'm hungry?)