Do other countries look at us and laugh?

  • News
  • Thread starter Topher925
  • Start date
In summary: Stewart and Colbert have now become mainstream, and as a result, their humor is no longer as sharp. It's not that they're not funny- they're still hilarious- but their jokes are more familiar to everyone, and as a result, they don't pack the same punch. In summary, the Daily Show and Colbert Report are funny, but their humor is not as sharp as it was before they became mainstream.
  • #71
chemisttree said:
Obama http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2008/results/president/"

I'm curious, did other countries laugh when Gore won the http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0876793.html" and Bush became president?

Gore 50,999,897 48.38%
Bush 50,456,002 47.87%

I don't recall laughing about that.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #72
OmCheeto said:
I'm curious, did other countries laugh when Gore won the and Bush became president?

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure to decide who will be President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: (You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as "colour", "favour", "labour" and "neighbour." Likewise, you will learn to spell "doughnut" without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise'. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up "vocabulary").

3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let M*crosoft know on your behalf. The M*crosoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter "u" and the elimination of -ize.

4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

7. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

8. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

9. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

10. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. Australian beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on Earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

11. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in "Four Weddings and a Funeral" was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

12. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try rugby - the Australians and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us.

13. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

14. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

15. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

16. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!
 
  • #73
mgb_phys said:
To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure to decide who will be President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Although this is the third of fourth time I've read that speech, 2 lines always have me rolling on the floor laughing.
...
10. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. ... American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

12. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

I concur.

God Save the Queen!

Some of us have been considering the proposition, though we've left out more than just Kansas.

jesusland.jpg
 
  • #74
:smile: It always makes me laugh, too.
Well played in the previous tests! I'm looking forward to watching the fifth.
 
  • #75
OmCheeto said:
Although this is the third of fourth time I've read that speech, 2 lines always have me rolling on the floor laughing.


I concur.



Some of us have been considering the proposition, though we've left out more than just Kansas.

jesusland.jpg

hahaha Wow that speech was awesome never seen it before. And that Canada/USA vs Jesusland picture is awesome too.
 
  • #76
OmCheeto said:
Although this is the third of fourth time I've read that speech, 2 lines always have me rolling on the floor laughing.
I concur.

They used to play footbal without pads, but the injury rate was too high.

I am confident that allowing a rugby player to play american football without pads could be arranged.
 
  • #77
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II said:
16. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
Unfortunately, the tea got tossed into Boston Harbor and is unsuitable for drinking. Even for the British.
 
  • #78
BoomBoom said:
...and Bush lost the popular vote, but I assume the people other nations just look at who we elected...not by how much.

That's not how Sylas saw it... and I was replying to that post.
 
  • #79
OmCheeto said:
I'm curious, did other countries laugh when Gore won the http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0876793.html" and Bush became president?

Gore 50,999,897 48.38%
Bush 50,456,002 47.87%

I don't recall laughing about that.

I don't know, I wasn't in another country at the time. I'd be willing to bet they did.
The U.S. image abroad is suffering almost everywhere. Particularly in the most economically developed countries, people blame America for the financial crisis. Opposition to key elements of American foreign policy is widespread in Western Europe, and positive views of the U.S. have declined steeply among many of America's longtime European allies.
Source. http://pewglobal.org/reports/display.php?ReportID=263"
That's how the report reads for the time period covering the Bush years.

Here's how the report begins for the time period covering Obama's term so far.
The image of the United States has improved markedly in most parts of the world, reflecting global confidence in Barack Obama. In many countries opinions of the United States are now about as positive as they were at the beginning of the decade before George W. Bush took office. Improvements in the U.S. image have been most pronounced in Western Europe, where favorable ratings for both the nation and the American people have soared. But opinions of America have also become more positive in key countries in Latin America, Africa and Asia, as well.
Source. http://pewglobal.org/reports/display.php?ReportID=264"
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #80
OmCheeto said:
I'm curious, did other countries laugh when Gore won the http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0876793.html" and Bush became president?

Gore 50,999,897 48.38%
Bush 50,456,002 47.87%

I don't recall laughing about that.
Knowingly making false statements is against forum rules.

Bush won the election 271 to 266 according to your source.

Unless you really don't understand our constitutional process for electing Presidents?
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #81
OmCheeto said:
I'm curious, did other countries laugh when Gore won the http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0876793.html" and Bush became president?

Gore 50,999,897 48.38%
Bush 50,456,002 47.87%

I don't recall laughing about that.
Dunno, are people in other countries capable of reading and understanding a wiki article about how the electoral college works?
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #82
mgb_phys said:
7. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

You know, it's not until I visited the US a few times that I really appreciated roundabouts (traffic circles). They just make so much more sense than the stand-off at stop signs, or the ridiculous 5 road junctions controlled solely by traffic lights!

russ_watters said:
Dunno, are people in other countries capable of reading and understanding a wiki article about how the electoral college works?

Hmm.. I hope you're being facetious! (Things like the US electoral college were taught to me in high school history lessons!)
 
  • #83
cristo said:
Hmm.. I hope you're being facetious! (Things like the US electoral college were taught to me in high school history lessons!)

Now now, they'll shut our fun down if we fight.
http://www.uselectionatlas.org/INFORMATION/INFORMATION/electcollege_history.php"
Direct election was rejected not because the Framers of the Constitution doubted public intelligence
idiots...
but rather because they feared that without sufficient information about candidates from outside their State
Like that is a problem now, with the internet.
, people would naturally vote for a "favorite son" from their own State or region.
Not to mention cute. I'd snog Obama.
At worst, no president would emerge with a popular majority sufficient to govern the whole country. At best, the choice of president would always be decided by the largest, most populous States with little regard for the smaller ones.

Eeek!

300px-USA_states_population_map_2007_color.svg.png



So our last president could have been Arnold(Wutevah! Just amend the constitution... god...), Bush(again...), Cuomo, or that other Bush.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #84
seycyrus said:
They used to play footbal without pads, but the injury rate was too high.

I am confident that allowing a rugby player to play american football without pads could be arranged.

Reality check - it's fine to boast and make fun of our pads - I get it.

But seeing how this is a Physics Forums conversation, why don't you factor in the speed of our game, average size of our players, hardness of our equipment and relative softness of your rugby player's head - and report your findings.
 
  • #85
cristo said:
You know, it's not until I visited the US a few times that I really appreciated roundabouts (traffic circles). They just make so much more sense than the stand-off at stop signs, or the ridiculous 5 road junctions controlled solely by traffic lights!
I really hate them, but they are only a problem in third world states like New Jersey. Pennsylvania doesn't have traffic circles. I think they work better where there is less traffic.
Hmm.. I hope you're being facetious! (Things like the US electoral college were taught to me in high school history lessons!)
I was, but I'm surprised you learned about the electoral college in school. I keep forgetting where you are from...France?
 
  • #86
OmCheeto said:
...

idiots...

Like that is a problem now, with the internet.

Not to mention cute. I'd snog Obama.


Eeek!

300px-USA_states_population_map_2007_color.svg.png

If the US had no Electoral College today, the entire presidential campaign process would cease to exist outside of the major population centers in California and New York, with the odd visit or two to Tx, Fla, Pa, Ohio. Every other state or rural area might as well eat cake. Political accountability in the office of the President would follow similarly. Like the Senate in the Congress, the Electoral College gives federalism a role in the executive branch.
 
  • #87
mheslep said:
the entire presidential campaign process would cease to exist outside of the major population centers in California and New York,
Instead of being in the hands of whichever farming state holds the first primary
 
  • #88
mgb_phys said:
Instead of being in the hands of whichever farming state holds the first primary
If that is to mean on the one hand (EC) we have Iowa owning the Presidency, and on the other (popular vote) we'd have Ca/NY owning the Presidency, then no there's no comparison. Under the EC system, Iowa forces a kabuki dance early on, and a hat tip by the candidates, but it does not hold any great political sway over the President. In a popular vote election, the LA and NYC type areas would OWN the Presidency, everybody else stay home. Don't waste time writing letters or going to town halls, because the Pres. need not care in the slightest what they think.
 
  • #89
mgb_phys said:
Instead of being in the hands of whichever farming state holds the first primary

Gads.. I'm lucky I went to the lou before I read that, or I'd need a new couch. What's the cure for hyperventilating? paper bag. breath in breath out. bwah hahahahaha!:cry::smile::cry::smile:
 
  • #90
There's another important reason for the electoral college: The simple fact that the states, not the federal government, are in charge of elections to avoid having "the fox in charge of the henhouse", and the only practical way to do that at the time was to assign each state its share of electors, and each state ultimately has the final say in certifying which candidate gets its votes.

May seem outdated, but it still serves that purpose pretty well.
 
  • #91
russ_watters said:
I was, but I'm surprised you learned about the electoral college in school. I keep forgetting where you are from...France?

I'm from England. I think we were taught about the electoral college when comparing systems of government around the western world. Then again, it could just have been that there was an election coming, and our teacher felt we should know about such things-- it was a while ago now!
 
  • #92
mgb_phys said:
To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure to decide who will be President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy)... ...God Save the Queen!

:smile: :smile: :smile:

That is one of the funniest things that I have ever read in my life.
 
  • #93
Yes. Most do. Some don't. Unfortunately, half of our country is made up of unscientific, fundamentalist troglodytes, which are mostly concentrated in the south, which, south of Northern Virginia and excluding Charlottesville and east of New Mexico and excluding Austin, Houston, Dallas, and Galveston and excluding Chapel Hill and Atlanta, I'd like to sink into the ocean.

We're not all stupid in the United States, of course; many of us know about the rest of the world and have even been all over the world in general. Many of us know, for example, the Arabic name of the capital of Libya (Tarabulus), the contribution of Zimbabwe to global GDP (0.002%), and a, if not the , major technological center in India (Bengaluru). Many of us are scientifically literate. Many of us facepalm when we hear about the latest American influence across the world and think it's rather ridiculous. Many of us think it's a ridiculous idea to put military bases in other countries. Many of us have actually managed to at least get out of our home state and even get out of the country.

There are also a great many idiots in other countries, too, who do the same crud that a lot of idiot Americans do, but don't get called out on it so vocally because they're not American.

I think the lesson best learned from this is that you can't generalize about an entire country.
 
  • #94
I do, however, have a problem with whichever credulous moron in Ireland decided it was even REMOTELY sane, and not indicative of some sort of inability to think , to pass a blasphemy law.

I mean, seriously. Theocracy = stupid.
 
  • #95
kldickson said:
a blasphemy law.
Forcing or preventing?
 
  • #96
kldickson said:
Unfortunately, half of our country is made up of unscientific, fundamentalist troglodytes, which are mostly concentrated in the south, which, south of Northern Virginia and excluding Charlottesville and east of New Mexico and excluding Austin, Houston, Dallas, and Galveston and excluding Chapel Hill and Atlanta, I'd like to sink into the ocean.
The line runs right through my den.
 
  • #97
jimmysnyder said:
Forcing or preventing?

Preventing. Ireland is held fast in the grip of credulity.
 
  • #98
kldickson said:
Preventing. Ireland is held fast in the grip of credulity.
Not wishing to imply that Ireland is slightly behind the curve of western Europe, but when they announce a witch hunt - it's not a metaphor!

On the one hand it's fairly pointless, as a member of the Eu Ireland has to obey the Human Rights Act so this will just involve the prosecution of a few minor comic artists who will appeal to Europe and become minor celebrities for a while - as the lawyers pocket some fees. But the fact that this is the country's response to an economic crisis is a little worrying - still it's probably better than them invading somewhere to distract people.
 
  • #99
kldickson said:
Many of us think it's a ridiculous idea to put military bases in other countries. Many of us have actually managed to at least get out of our home state and even get out of the country..

Are you putting them into insane or sane group?
 
  • #100
kldickson said:
Yes. Most do. Some don't. Unfortunately, half of our country is made up of unscientific, fundamentalist troglodytes, ...
I think the phrase you want there is 'fools, idiots, bumblers, hicks':
http://www.opinionjournal.com/editorial/feature.html?id=110008076
George Bush's appeal, for Mr. Wolfe, was owing to his "great decisiveness and willingness to fight." But as to "this business of my having done the unthinkable and voted for George Bush, I would say, now look, I voted for George Bush but so did 62,040,609 other Americans. Now what does that make them? Of course, they want to say--'Fools like you!' . . . But then they catch themselves, 'Wait a minute, I can't go around saying that the majority of the American people are fools, idiots, bumblers, hicks.' So they just kind of dodge that question. And so many of them are so caught up in this kind of metropolitan intellectual atmosphere that they simply don't go across the Hudson River. They literally do not set foot in the United States. We live in New York in one of the two parenthesis states. They're usually called blue states--they're not blue states, the states on the coast. They're parenthesis states--the entire country lies in between."
I also recommend Wolfe's novel Bonfire of the Vanities. No the movie doesn't count.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #101
I have long believed we should charge countries for protection - wouldn't that be "funny"?
 
  • #102
WhoWee said:
I have long believed we should charge countries for protection - wouldn't that be "funny"?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNj1dXi-z0M

(need to start 1:30 in )
 
  • #103
I don't really want to bring up this thread but it seems that part of the US population is getting nuttier every day.

Shooting ranges, gun dealers and bullet manufacturers say they have never seen such shortages. Bullets, especially for handguns, have been scarce for months because gun enthusiasts are stocking up on ammo, in part because they fear President Barack Obama and the Democratic-controlled Congress will pass antigun legislation — even though nothing specific has been proposed and the president last month signed a law allowing people to carry loaded guns in national parks.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090923/ap_on_re_us/us_ammo_shortage
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #104
Topher925 said:
I don't really want to bring up this thread but it seems that part of the US population is getting nuttier every day.


http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090923/ap_on_re_us/us_ammo_shortage

Yep, I haven't been able to find ammo for months. Gone from the shelves as soon as they get them in stock. At least there aren't any layoffs in that industry!
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #105
Topher925 said:
I have to say, I haven't been feeling very proud to be an American lately.

You should never feel proud to be an American, you should be proud of something you accomplish, not something that you were born into; being an American isn't an accomplishment.
 

Similar threads

Replies
1K
Views
91K
Replies
43
Views
5K
Back
Top