Funniest Member Award Nomination: Time to Strut Your Stuff!

[D H]

I know where to go to find virgins. In front of the Library in NYC, you will find a pair of lions. These lions are trained to pounce upon any virgin that walks by.

Sorry. This is just an urban legend. College campuses are not a good place to find virgins. This urban myth is debunked here.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

Sorry. This is just an urban legend.

When I think of all the hours I've wasted at the NYC public library.

 

[turbo]

I wonder if the volcano likes spicy food. I figure with all that hotsauce and salsa you eat...

I'm too hot for the volcano, and it would spit me right out to avoid heartburn.

 

[Math Is Hard]

We could dump in a truckload of Tagamet before we throw you in.

 

[turbo]

We could dump in a truckload of Tagamet before we throw you in.

That might work, but there's still the virgin thing. How do you undo 40 years of non-virgin-type activity?

 

[Huckleberry]

That might work, but there's still the virgin thing. How do you undo 40 years of non-virgin-type activity?

This works every time.

 

[Math Is Hard]

YIKES!

 

[Math Jeans]

I guess those could prevent future participation in unvirgin-like activities, but the bloodthirsty volcano gods would still know about my past. (How DO they know?)

Volcano gods prefer women 10:1, so if we can't find a PF sister who is a virgin, we should pick one or two pretty ones to toss in that haven't had sex for a while. Close enough!

And the rest of us are starting to wonder how a photoshoped science project has this kind of power.

 

[Moridin]

I assume that the PF volcano is the secret underground lair of the PF Mentor Palace? Is SpaceTiger still scrubbing the bathtub with Lysol? Or did you get another bathroom that is not unisex anymore? I'm confused.

 

[Astronuc]

It seems like a terrible waste to sacrifice a perfectly good virgin to a flaming leaf pile. So Astronuc, looks like you're a go after all!

Then again maybe not. I've been married 25+ years, so that makes me a eunuch. I don't think I'll even get to the qualification round.

 

[Math Jeans]

Leafpile or flaming volcano, it would be nice to put it out before G01 uses it to set fire to the place.

Do we still have that fireproof plating from when Evo moved? That would be nice.

 

[turbo]

Do we still have that fireproof plating from when Evo moved? That would be nice.

To paraphrase W, you misunderestimate Evo. If she ever had any fireproof plating, it was probably constructed of thermite. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

 

[Math Jeans]

To paraphrase W, you misunderestimate Evo. If she ever had any fireproof plating, it was probably constructed of thermite. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

If I remember correctly, while she was gone, we just covered everything with big granite slabs.

Thats where the big pile of scorched granite over in the career help section came from.

 

[Huckleberry]

Those look like mighty dull and mighty scorched scissors. Did you play scissors/paper/rock with them on the PF volcano?

I threw the rock and the paper into the volcano. A pair of dull, rusty scissors is far superior. They are the favorite weapon of all the savage island tribes, who often fasten them to the ends of pointy sticks. It's the perfect tool for herding potential sacrifices into the fiery pit. The tribes experimented with knocking out sacrifices with rocks and dragging them, and binding them in laws and contracts on paper, but they ended up sticking with the scissors in the typical savage tradition as it produces the most pleasant hooting and jeering effect and promotes a sense of cooperation and participation from all involved.

 

[Danger]

It looks like someone's leaf pile caught fire and Evo is trying to put it out with a penguin.

 

[Math Is Hard]

I wonder whatever happened to tribdog?

 

[Astronuc]

and the pengwuino? And I wondered about cyrus, but cyrus has been showing up lately - now and then.

 

[Evo]

He has been gone awhile.

Greg is probably going to ask us to niominate members in a week or two. He usually wants 5-6 nominees.

This is your last chance to be funny people.

 

[turbo]

not funny. not worthy of volcano sacrifice. just regular.

 

[Astronuc]

not funny. not worthy of volcano sacrifice. just regular.

That's funny! Very funny! See - I'm laughing

 

[Evo]

not funny. not worthy of volcano sacrifice. just regular.

Going by post #91, I'd say you are a candidate for the volcano.

 

[turbo]

Going by post #91, I'd say you are a candidate for the volcano.

I am already as hot as I can be (internally) with chili relishes incorporated into almost every meal. Pick someone who is amusing, clever, and creative. My main talents include gardening and cooking, and this board has no real concentration on that stuff - it's just a side-line.

I would not object to a "quirky, odd, but gives a sh1t award" Ain't happening, though. A couple of collaborators and I have a paper under review regarding M-51 type galaxy associations and though the catalog should be accepted with no problems, the next paper (statistical analysis of the redshift differentials in the catalog) will be met with resistance, denials, and circular reasoning.

 

[Evo]

I am already as hot as I can be (internally) with chili relishes incorporated into almost every meal.

You'd probably give the volcano heartburn.

Since gardening and cooking are two of my top interests, they are major categories in GD, along with kittens and cute baby animals. :!)

 

[Math Is Hard]

See, you guys, this is serious business.

 

[turbo]

Can't be real. The throwers must be a conga-line of scantily -clad natives in ceremonial dress, and here we have a single white woman in a pant-suit. The image is SO convincing otherwise, but these cues lead me to believe that this is a fake!

 

[BobG]

Can't be real. The throwers must be a conga-line of scantily -clad natives in ceremonial dress, and here we have a single white woman in a pant-suit. The image is SO convincing otherwise, but these cues lead me to believe that this is a fake!

Plus the fact that I found pictures of Penguino's demise. If you can make it through this blog (in spite of the ever obnoxious Chet), it's clear what happened. Poor Penguino was lured by a density of bird feeders and met his demise on Jan 6 (you have to scroll down quite a ways).

http://www.juliezickefoose.com/blog/archive/2006_01_01_juliezickefoose_archive.html

Poor Penguino.

P.S. - I think he might have wound up as the secret ingredient in that concoction the evil red-headed girl is cooking.

 

[Math Jeans]

To paraphrase W, you misunderestimate Evo. If she ever had any fireproof plating, it was probably constructed of thermite. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Oh. I just remembered what thermite was . Who can man a fire-extinguisher? I have received word that Evo still isn't done moving.

If this is done right, Evo will only kill a few of us.

 

[Artman]

Holy Crap I've been nominated!

My fire resistant long johns are at the cleaners! Oh my gosh! I'll have to beat off the flaming volcano with my penguin!



(I think I need to reword that somehow.)

If the volcano gets too close, I'll have to grab my penguin and beat it off.



not much better.

Actually, I'm so far behind I don't even need to beat off the flaming leaf pile.

 

[Artman]

Heck, I'm so far behind I don't have to beat off anything.



Well I don't have to.

 

[Math Is Hard]

If this is done right, Evo will only kill a few of us.

Evo doesn't kill people. Volcanoes kill people.

 

[Evo]

Are You Participating This Year??

Artman

 

[Math Is Hard]

Oh my gosh! I'll have to beat off the flaming volcano with my penguin!

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

 

[Evo]

Evo doesn't kill people. Volcanoes kill people.

 

[Math Jeans]

Evo doesn't kill people. Volcanoes kill people.

Ok ok. Evo's volcano kills people. Piiicky

 

[Artman]

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Yup. It's Evo's one-eyed-flaming-leaf-pile-mole-hill-volcano-beating-off-penguin.

(Actually the kids just call it Whack-A-Penguin, I think.)