- #71
WarPhalange
Your entire team would literally be crippled 10 minutes into the game. Doesn't matter how smart you are at that point.
Gorillas should be America's professional football players
- Thread starter stickythighs
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In summary, the average gorilla can bench press 4,000 pounds, and if we're going to watch football, why not watch the best possible football players: gorillas?
- #72
stickythighs
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Jordan Joab said:
Gorillas would have no chance against rifle fire and IEDs.
- #73
stickythighs
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K.J.Healey said:
A group of gorillas playing against the best football players in history would be like the football players at the #1 college football team in the country playing against a bunch of ten year old kids. Intelligence won't matter. No matter what play you run, the gorillas could squash humans like a bug.
- #74
stickythighs
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K.J.Healey said:
I think gorillas are fairly smart animals. They can learn human sign language.
- #75
seycyrus
The first question that comes to mind...
Which of you guys are being serious?
Which of you guys are being serious?
- #76
K.J.Healey
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By the rules you're not allowed to be unnecessarily rough. Which is a rule the gorillas would have to adhere to, is it not?
- #77
K.J.Healey
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stickythighs said:
This is not a correct comparison, you're assuming the gorillas are BETTER than a college football team (not just in size, but skill). This is not so.
If you're going to compare something, do it right :)
The situation is more like taking a body builder, and saying they would be good at golf, because they should be able to, with a little training, out-drive any normal human. This doesn't work though. There's a lot more to it than just drives. Get it?
There's a lot more to football than just smashing people. Have you ever played tackle football?
- #78
WarPhalange
If you're good enough at mashing people, the other team will eventually forfeit.
I know there are special rules against fouling, such as grabbing the face mask or spiking with the helmet, but a gorilla would just do a regular tackle and still knock out most anybody.
I know there are special rules against fouling, such as grabbing the face mask or spiking with the helmet, but a gorilla would just do a regular tackle and still knock out most anybody.
- #79
Jordan Joab
Ok, here's how I kill this thread.
If team owners knew people were willing to pay to watch gorillas play football it would've been done ages ago. Cheaper to pay 100 bananas per season to a dumb gorilla with limited rights. Oh wait, what's that? That's the voice of thousands of enraged hippies demanding gorilla rights. Then owners would be forced to go back to humans thus forcing another one of you to create a post about how some other animal can play football.
Dolphins have higher mathematical skills than humans. They just don't have the hands to write stuff down!
^ makes as much sense as football-playing gorillas.
If team owners knew people were willing to pay to watch gorillas play football it would've been done ages ago. Cheaper to pay 100 bananas per season to a dumb gorilla with limited rights. Oh wait, what's that? That's the voice of thousands of enraged hippies demanding gorilla rights. Then owners would be forced to go back to humans thus forcing another one of you to create a post about how some other animal can play football.
Dolphins have higher mathematical skills than humans. They just don't have the hands to write stuff down!
^ makes as much sense as football-playing gorillas.
- #80
WarPhalange
Jordan Joab said:Ok, here's how I kill this thread.
If team owners knew people were willing to pay to watch gorillas play football it would've been done ages ago. Cheaper to pay 100 bananas per season to a dumb gorilla with limited rights. Oh wait, what's that? That's the voice of thousands of enraged hippies demanding gorilla rights. Then owners would be forced to go back to humans thus forcing another one of you to create a post about how some other animal can play football.
Dolphins have higher mathematical skills than humans. They just don't have the hands to write stuff down!
^ makes as much sense as football-playing gorillas.
You're just jealous that a gorilla could bench press your entire family and you can't even bench press one gorilla.
- #81
falc39
the trolling on this thread is so obvious
where are the mods?
where are the mods?
- #82
Jordan Joab
WarPhalange said:
I can beat that gorilla 1v1 on Halo though
Oh yeah, gorillas have little pea shooters. I win there too!
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- #83
LowlyPion
Homework Helper
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Jordan Joab said:Oh yeah, gorillas have little pea shooters. I win there too!
If that's what you're shooting for, then you would want an oxyura vittata, an Argentinian lake duck, on your team.
- #84
johnpmc
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stickythighs said:
By my count you are both wrong on the duration of Rome. It should start with Romulus and end with the fall of Constantinople. A degraded state is a state afterall, we aren't talking of how long ago Great Britain went defunct now aren't we. So from Romulus (753 BC) to the Fall of Byzantium to the Ottomans (1453 AD) I think you should be a bit closer to 2206 years give or take.
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- #85
russ_watters
Mentor
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No point in resurrecting a low quality, year-old thread. Locked.