How much should you spend on an engagement ring?

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In summary: I ask says that you should spend 2 months salary, but most would prefer 3. To me it seems silly for couples to gain so much debt for a piece of jewelry. Wouldn't it be better to buy a smaller ring and use the rest of the money for a down payment on a house or to pay off a high interest loan or credit card debt?If money is the important thing, then you should look at how long it takes to get the spent capital creating savings in the deal. Defining it is a bit hard, but let's see. Lets assume that one successful bar night can cost you about $100 (average counted from all bar nights). If you make
  • #71
I don't mind inclusions in a ring, as many cheaper rings have them. The stones are flawed, but this is only visible if you hold it up to your eye and scrutinize them. (they can be large stones, but they have some cracks etc.)
 
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  • #72
A small jeweler probably can't buy diamonds very cheap, although you might get them to give you a discount, it might still cost you more than buying from a larger jeweler. Remember to compare identical diamonds. Shop around.

Be careful buying from a pawn shop since you have no idea what you are buying. When I worked at the jewelry store a couple came in with they thought was a great find and wanted an opinion. It wasn't even a diamond, (we had diamond testers).
 
  • #73
~christina~ said:
I don't mind inclusions in a ring, as many cheaper rings have them. The stones are flawed, but this is only visible if you hold it up to your eye and scrutinize them. (they can be large stones, but they have some cracks etc.)
Nooooo! Good quality stones are worth what you pay and will hold their value better. Junk is junk.
 
  • #74
gravenewworld said:
Almost every girl I ask says that you should spend 2 months salary, but most would prefer 3.

Almost every guy I ask says that they would prefer to only spend 1 month to 6 weeks salary MAX.

If you are to have a good marriage, you should want to give her a ring worth 6 months salary, and she should want a ring worth only 1 month salary. If you start with this good foundation, then anything in the 1-6 month range will be fine.

Why these numbers? You don't want to spend so much that your wife becomes a likely target for robbery, and you don't want to spend so little that you make her feel unimportant and unappreciated.
 
  • #75
Evo said:
Nooooo! Good quality stones are worth what you pay and will hold their value better. Junk is junk.

Skip the stone. Hasn't anyone watched the LOTR? The ring that controlled all the rings was the simplest of them all.
 
  • #76
To the OP and the original question.

25 cents.
 
  • #77
~christina~ said:
I don't mind inclusions in a ring, as many cheaper rings have them. The stones are flawed, but this is only visible if you hold it up to your eye and scrutinize them. (they can be large stones, but they have some cracks etc.)

.. And then you bump it into something and a piece chips off..
 
  • #78
Evo said:
A small jeweler probably can't buy diamonds very cheap, although you might get them to give you a discount, it might still cost you more than buying from a larger jeweler. Remember to compare identical diamonds. Shop around.

Yes, and ideally you go to a place where you can view many diamonds of any grade. Pick the ring and stone style, and then match the desired stone at a good dealer and have it set. I found that one can pay 30-50% of what you would pay at a small store or mall. It is simple economics. You want a place that looks like Fort Knox. You may even be escorted into a vault.

At the place that I bought from in LA, you could cite the desired color and clarity and see many dozens of stones having those specs. Most retail jewelers offer very few options, but they are overpriced.
 
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  • #79
Something else: From my point of view, it is silly to treat an engagement ring as a financial investment. The chances are that you will never sell the ring. What's more, in a few years hardly anyone will ever look at it again. They certainly won't be scrutinizing it as a dealer would. It will just be a shiney thing on your wife's finger.

Also, buying above VS1 or 2 is foolish unless you are investing. See for yourself [you do want a selection as there may be an occasional clunker, and some do look better than others]. But if you take your time and pick a good one, quality beyond that is purely academic and in your head. Trust me, you won't notice the difference, but size does matter.

Add it to your homeowners insurance policy [you want to anyway]. On the ever so remote chance that it chips or is damaged, file a claim and buy a new stone.
 
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  • #80
Ivan Seeking said:
It will just be a shiney thing on your wife's finger.

This is the male perspective. The female perspective is totally different. My wife still looks at her ring even after many years. She thinks of the memory of when I gave it too her. The fact that I spent much more money than I could afford at the time makes it even more special to her because it was a sacrifice. Now I see that I made the right decision. We are older and that amount of money is not so important, and the ring still has value that will be recovered by our children someday.

To a woman, it's not just a shiny thing, it's the message that you sent to tell her how much you valued her. That message will be replayed each and every day for the rest of her life. It's not the actual value of the ring that's important, it's the fact that, at the time you gave it to her, you did the best you could to send the right message.
 
  • #81
Monique said:
.. And then you bump it into something and a piece chips off..
The diamond doesn't have to be flawed for that to happen. Diamond cutters orient the stone to maximize weight and because of this the stones may have their easiest cleavage plane located such that an incidental tap against a hard object can cause the diamond to chip. Some types of stones (such as topaz) have such easy-to-shear cleavage planes that faceting them and mounting them properly can be a challenge. For toughness and chip-resistance in an everyday-wear ring, I would suggest garnet.
 
  • #82
elect_eng said:
This is the male perspective. The female perspective is totally different. My wife still looks at her ring even after many years. She thinks of the memory of when I gave it too her. The fact that I spent much more money than I could afford at the time makes it even more special to her because it was a sacrifice. Now I see that I made the right decision. We are older and that amount of money is not so important, and the ring still has value that will be recovered by our children someday.

To a woman, it's not just a shiny thing, it's the message that you sent to tell her how much you valued her. That message will be replayed each and every day for the rest of her life. It's not the actual value of the ring that's important, it's the fact that, at the time you gave it to her, you did the best you could to send the right message.

Sure, but the falacy implicitly promoted is that somehow that personal value depends on whether the stone is VVS2 or VS2.

The point that I was making was that you want to spend your money on size, not the finest quality.
 
  • #83
Off-topic: turbo-1, just wondering, since I do share your point of view that diamonds are overpriced, what do you think of alexandrite? Is it worth the price?
 
  • #84
turbo-1 said:
For toughness and chip-resistance in an everyday-wear ring, I would suggest garnet.
That's something to keep in mind, it would need to resist the environment of a wet lab. Do you have suggestions on how to clean gem stones such as topaz, aquamarine and amethyst? I clean diamonds in hot soapy water with added ammonia, but I'm not sure whether that could be harmful for other stones (I generally just use soapy water for those).
 
  • #85
elect_eng said:
This is the male perspective. The female perspective is totally different. My wife still looks at her ring even after many years. She thinks of the memory of when I gave it too her. The fact that I spent much more money than I could afford at the time makes it even more special to her because it was a sacrifice. Now I see that I made the right decision. We are older and that amount of money is not so important, and the ring still has value that will be recovered by our children someday.

To a woman, it's not just a shiny thing, it's the message that you sent to tell her how much you valued her. That message will be replayed each and every day for the rest of her life. It's not the actual value of the ring that's important, it's the fact that, at the time you gave it to her, you did the best you could to send the right message.
That's very romantic. I, however, couldn't care less about an engagement ring. I bought my own and used a diamond my mother gave me, a tiny one, but it was free. I also refused to have a wedding and instead had my parents buy me a new car, put a down payment on a new house and furnish it.

Basically I guess it's whatever you value and what makes you happy. I was very happy with my car and house.
 
  • #86
Monique said:
That's something to keep in mind, it would need to resist the environment of a wet lab. Do you have suggestions on how to clean gem stones such as topaz, aquamarine and amethyst? I clean diamonds in hot soapy water with added ammonia, but I'm not sure whether that could be harmful for other stones (I generally just use soapy water for those).
The best solution to clean stones and jewelry (and glassware) is a 50:50 mix of isopropyl alcohol and water. They are both pretty good solvents and if you team them up, they are very effective. Plus there is no residue. Any kind of detergent or soap will leave fatty acids that gather dirt. That is the only lens-cleaner that I used in my optician's lab.
 
  • #87
ephedyn said:
Off-topic: turbo-1, just wondering, since I do share your point of view that diamonds are overpriced, what do you think of alexandrite? Is it worth the price?
Alexandrite IS very rare, and it is far more likely to retain its value than diamonds. Another good choice is Tsavorite - a brilliant green garnet from Tsavo National Park in Kenya. It is rarely found in >ct sizes, it is far more attractive than emerald, and it is very tough for everyday wear, as most garnets are. These are niche stones, but they are probably never going to go down in value.

Edit: If you're considering buying Alexandrite, you'll want to choose your seller very carefully. There is a lot of synthetic stuff on the market, and it's easy to get fooled. You'd probably want to insist on a money-back guarantee of authenticity and then pay for an independent appraisal.
 
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  • #88
Ivan Seeking said:
...size does matter.

I think size does matter... but in my case, I preferred a smaller stone. I think large stones are gaudy and would get in the way of my daily activities. My husband went for a higher-quality smaller stone that is well-cut, in a very traditional simple setting, so it has an element of modesty and humility. It still certainly has surprising moments, like when it catches the sunlight and casts colors about the car when I'm driving.

Large size matters elsewhere in my marriage! :blushing:

If you're looking at alternative stones, I did have some friends that choose to go rock-hunting on their own for a stone (they chose turquoise, which she wanted because of her Hispanic heritage). That made the experience pretty special to them, although they certainly had a difficult time finding someone to polish and set the stone.
 
  • #89
physics girl phd said:
If you're looking at alternative stones, I did have some friends that choose to go rock-hunting on their own for a stone (they chose turquoise, which she wanted because of her Hispanic heritage). That made the experience pretty special to them, although they certainly had a difficult time finding someone to polish and set the stone.
I cut a very nice gemmy sunstone for a young couple to use in their engagement ring. Non-traditional, for sure, but the coppery inclusions were pretty and they had found the stone themselves and didn't know how to get it cut. I met up with them in a rock-shop in the off-season in Provincetown.
 
  • #90
Evo said:
Basically I guess it's whatever you value and what makes you happy.

Words of wisdom for sure! I value my wife and she makes me happy.
 
  • #91
elect_eng said:
Words of wisdom for sure! I value my wife and she makes me happy.
Awww, that's so sweet!
 
  • #92
turbo-1 said:
The best solution to clean stones and jewelry (and glassware) is a 50:50 mix of isopropyl alcohol and water. They are both pretty good solvents and if you team them up, they are very effective. Plus there is no residue. Any kind of detergent or soap will leave fatty acids that gather dirt. That is the only lens-cleaner that I used in my optician's lab.
:!) Thanks for the advice, it worked like magic, much better than detergent and ammonia (a lot less smelly).
Everything is shining to the max again, someone even thought I had a new ring :biggrin:
 
  • #93
Monique said:
:!) Thanks for the advice, it worked like magic, much better than detergent and ammonia (a lot less smelly).
Everything is shining to the max again, someone even thought I had a new ring :biggrin:
Congratulations! If you have some hard-to-remove soap scum or other residue between the mount and the stone, you can gently dislodge it with a wooden toothpick, then give it another spray of the water and alcohol. When my cousin's daughter and her husband-to-be dropped in for a BBQ, she wanted to show me her ring, and I "borrowed" it for a brief cleaning session. When I brought it back out onto the sunny deck and gave it to her, she squealed! Most properly-cut diamonds are pretty flashy IF they are clean. It doesn't take much soap scum or skin-lotion residue to dull them to the point that they are absolutely lifeless.
 
  • #94
I'm pretty vigilant with keeping my jewelry clean, I always take my ring off when washing my hands (that was after I was confronted with a lot off build-up material in the mount). Lately I was just too busy to spend a whole evening cleaning everything, but a quick soak in IPA already released a lot of material.
 
  • #95
The 50:50 mix of water and isopropyl is the key - both are solvents in their own right, and they each can help loosen a range of crud. I keep the mix in a commercial-grade spray bottle with a trigger and adjustable nozzle. Energetic spraying can remove a LOT from a tight setting. This stuff is also tops for cleaning windows and mirrors, and they stay much cleaner than if you used Windex or other glass-cleaners.
 
  • #96
Ggravenewworld (OP), I sincerely would hope that the surprise and pleasure she will derive is the “Will you marry me?” Remembering that an engagement ring is merely a memento of that grand event if she says, “Yes!” Wishing you the very best in life.:smile:
 
  • #97
Why shouldn't the woman give the man a ring? How can any girl say that they want a man to spend 3 month salary on a ring to her, if they don't do the same?
 
  • #98
Kurret said:
Why shouldn't the woman give the man a ring? How can any girl say that they want a man to spend 3 month salary on a ring to her, if they don't do the same?

I'm sure that a nose ring wouldn't be out of the question. But 3 month's salary seems a little steep for that, when they could use what's left over for more shoes.
 
  • #99
Woman's best friend = Diamond
Man's best friend = Dog

WTF?
 
  • #100
My brother just got done buying a ring for his girlfriend, soon to be fiance. He spent somewhere near $2,000 for the one he liked. He was the one that picked it out even. But if you want quality, you have to pay the price. But his is a 3/4 k so, it's kinda a big rock for a engagement ring. The ring shop has always been very nice to our family, it's the only place we will buy from.
 
  • #101
mcknia07 said:
My brother just got done buying a ring for his girlfriend, soon to be fiance. He spent somewhere near $2,000 for the one he liked. He was the one that picked it out even. But if you want quality, you have to pay the price. But his is a 3/4 k so, it's kinda a big rock for a engagement ring. The ring shop has always been very nice to our family, it's the only place we will buy from.

My ex-gf girlfriend and I paid $1400 total for a trip to the Carribean in December for a 5-star all inclusive luxury suite vacation. That included the flight.

I'm pretty sure most people would have rather have the trip and save $600 considering we had a great 4 day trip to Maine for $450. One of the diners cost $120 too.

I look for deals, and I get them.

Look for a deal on a ring... who cares.

Buy experiences, not materials.
 
  • #102
Cough cough, suckers, cough cough.
 
  • #103
JasonRox said:
My ex-gf girlfriend and I paid $1400 total for a trip to the Carribean in December for a 5-star all inclusive luxury suite vacation. That included the flight.

I'm pretty sure most people would have rather have the trip and save $600 considering we had a great 4 day trip to Maine for $450. One of the diners cost $120 too.

I look for deals, and I get them.

Look for a deal on a ring... who cares.

Buy experiences, not materials.
Sometime, try the Balsams resort in Dixville Notch, NH. Very close to you. Excellent food, decent accommodations, and lots of activities. Quite a few of the top chefs from the cruise lines spend their off-seasons working here.

http://www.thebalsams.com/default.aspx
 
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  • #104
JasonRox said:
My ex-gf girlfriend and I paid $1400 total for a trip to the Carribean in December for a 5-star all inclusive luxury suite vacation. That included the flight.

I'm pretty sure most people would have rather have the trip and save $600 considering we had a great 4 day trip to Maine for $450. One of the diners cost $120 too.

I look for deals, and I get them.

Look for a deal on a ring... who cares.

Buy experiences, not materials.

Yes, experiences are far more better than a material item. But their relationship is going strong and very good. He loves her, and that's all that matters.

*Sorry, but notice yours is an ex, and his isn't. jk
 
  • #105
My fiance makes a decent living and bought my Princess Cut Engagement Ring outright. It is wonderful and just my style. He was extravagant spending $12,000, but hey, I am worth it and I love it. It is totally me, which is why I like it. No one has a ring like mine It is not about the size of the diamond, rather that he picked something out that is unique and so perfect for my style.

I had been engaged previously when I was younger and my ex-fiance spent about $5000 and it was a lovely 1ct. It was my dream ring back then.

Don't stress yourself. Find out her style, what she likes and get her her heart's desire. You will never regret it.

I have been engaged 6 months and still cannot stop staring at my ring. It is memorizing.
 
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