Men: How Would You React to Being Contacted Out of the Blue?

[Evo]

I would think that's kind of strange. Not crazy, but strange. I'd be flattered too because whenever someone admires me, guy or girl, I find it flattering.

What my response would be would entirely depend on the context of the e-mail. Also, it's not likely that I would comply because it would feel strange to meet someone that I randomly do not know.

So, I guess it's... flattering + strange.

I have no real hope, but I'd love to talk to him.

 

[Evo]

Taste a little bit, if you are not ill after an hour it is probably ok to try some more, if
you feel fine the next day gorge yourself.

Are we talking about the barking deer?

 

[JasonRox]

I have no real hope, but I'd love to talk to him.

Why can't you just walk up to this person?

 

[Evo]

Ok, based on poll results, it looks like I should make an utter fool of myself and tell him I think he's cute.

He will think I'm nuts, but will be somewhat flattered. He will put my e-mail address into his spam filter. I will patiently wait for his response. Quantum computers will become a household object before that ever happens.

Does it sound like I have interpreted the poll and responses correctly?

 

[Evo]

Why can't you just walk up to this person?

He lives on another continent.

 

[Kurdt]

You could always do some research and try answering one of his questions. Might strike up a conversation and he'd really appreciate it (if its the guy I'm thinking of that you're interested in).

 

[Evo]

You could always do some research and try answering one of his questions. Might strike up a conversation and he'd really appreciate it (if its the guy I'm thinking of that you're interested in).

Yes, he has questions, I do believe you've got it.

So, way out of my league? My experience though is that on a "personal" level men aren't looking for peers. What do you think?

 

[Kurdt]

There's nobody out of your league Evo.

Well for me personally that wouldn't put me off, but then again it all depends on the individual. The problem with this type of question is everyone gives their personal opinion, you are weighing up what the average man would do and yet you know the situation only deals with one individual. Like I said before, just have a go in whatever format you deem suitable. You have nothing to lose at all and he seems like a very nice guy that's willing to engage with others from what I've seen.

On that note I should take my own advise and stop throwing in random suggestions

 

[Evo]

There's nobody out of your league Evo.

Sticks 10 GOOBF cards in Kurdt's computer.

Well for me personally that wouldn't put me off, but then again it all depends on the individual. The problem with this type of question is everyone gives their personal opinion, you are weighing up what the average man would do and yet you know the situation only deals with one individual. Like I said before, just have a go in whatever format you deem suitable. You have nothing to lose at all and he seems like a very nice guy that's willing to engage with others from what I've seen.

On that note I should take my own advise and stop throwing in random suggestions

Excellent advice. I think I would always regret it if I didn't say something to him. A response from him wouldn't even be necessary, I would feel good just telling him what I think about him. I don't think he'd mind being told that he is appreciated. I've enjoyed listening to him and reading his work.

 

[JasonRox]

Ok, just read the last post.

Yeah, I think that's fine to just e-mail him about that.

I've done it before and never had bad feedback. Keep in mind that I wasn't trying to come on to these people.

 

[rewebster]

Yes, he has questions, I do believe you've got it.

So, way out of my league? My experience though is that on a "personal" level men aren't looking for peers. What do you think?

my, my, my--I get the feeling you feel/(or were born) out of place (or time/(MWI)--you know, it's too bad you didn't live a hundred years ago...


Waterhouse to paint you...

Einstein to marry you...


and Freud to analyze you...


(especially, being a damsel in distress, Waterhouse to paint you...)


___________________________

maybe this guy (what's his face) would be (at least) good to talk to...

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I voted (finally)

 

[J77]

Out of those, I'd probably go for crazy -- simply because an email's so impersonal.

You should stalk him in real life first...

 

[Astronuc]

My experience though is that on a "personal" level men aren't looking for peers.

That would not apply in my case.

I agree with Kurdt about the research.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_computer
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_quantum_computing
First use of Deutsch's Algorithm in a cluster state quantum computer
http://www.physorg.com/news96107220.html


Besides, he might be interested. He might find it enjoyable to talk to an attractive woman about his work, or perhaps other mutual interests.

Regarding the approach, a direct (blunt and straightforward) approach might be fine with one's familiars, but it would seem to often have an adverse impact on strangers.


Getting there isn't that expensive, and it's about the same as a coast-to-coast trip in the US - well from where I am. Sometimes, it's cheaper to go Manchester, Birmingham or London that it is to the west coast.

Currently one can travel to LGW from one's nearest airport for $841, and there maybe less expensive flights.

 

[J77]

He lives on another continent.

So those emails are from you...

 

[JasonRox]

I wouldn't date someone on another continent!

 

[Astronuc]

I wouldn't date someone on another continent!

Why? That would seem to unnecessarily limit one's opportunities.

I met a Brit earlier this year who met a Canadian woman online. They hit if off. He visited Canada. They are now married and living in the UK.

If one was living in Toronto or Halifax, and discovered someone in Vancouver, or vice versa, or in NY/LA, and they hit if off, it's no different than living in the US and finding someone in Europe, Asia, S. America or Africa. The internet has enabled a global reach with a short cycle time.

I have a number of friends overseas and correspond with them as I do friends in the US. It would be just as easy for me to visit friends in Europe as it would be to visit friends scattered around the US.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

I wouldn't date someone on another continent!

I suggested this one to my wife. She said she was staying put.

 

[Evo]

Out of those, I'd probably go for crazy -- simply because an email's so impersonal.

You should stalk him in real life first...

So, I could print out the e-mail and hand it to him for a personal touch?

That would not apply in my case.

You seriously would look for a Nuclear Engineer to date if you were single?

I agree with Kurdt about the research.

He meant research about certain questions. I've read a lot of Deutsch's work over the last 4-5 years. Max Tegmart is really good at explaining things in layman's terms. Reading his explanations causes those moments of "oh, now I get it".

Besides, he might be interested. He might find it enjoyable to talk to an attractive woman about his work, or perhaps other mutual interests.

I need a Cyrano.

Regarding the approach, a direct (blunt and straightforward) approach might be fine with one's familiars, but it would seem to often have an adverse impact on strangers.

I'm not coy, and I can't bring myself to be artificial in order to lure someone in.

There is no way I'm going to stalk someone in person, THAT would be crazy, I'm happy stalking via e-mail.

 

[Astronuc]

You seriously would look for a Nuclear Engineer to date if you were single?

Not necessarily. Peer doesn't necessarily infer a person with the same background. On the other hand, I have a very close female friend who is a PhD nuclear engineer. So it's possible.

On the other hand, I have a broad technical background and an array of interests.

I'd be looking for someone who had a similar taste in music (e.g. Moody Blues, Led Zepplin, Traffic, Spirit, EL&P, . . . to Jazz, Celtic, and Classical Music) and arts, hsitory, gardening, cooking, outdoors, as well as an intellectual curiosity and some understanding of math and science. I like to go to museums. I like to travel to different places around the world. But then I like quiet evenings at home.

A big problem when I was dating was that most women couldn't related to my field in applied physics and engineering. If I mentioned particle or astrophysics or nuclear engineering, that didn't get a great response.

There were plenty of women who found me attractive or hot, but for me, that wasn't important - and I wasn't interested.

The most important aspect for me was to find a woman with whom I could share my thoughts - i.e. I could open my mind to her and she wouldn't be intimidated.

I need a Cyrano.

Que? Funny, I was once likened to Cyrano de Bergerac because of my nose (which never bothered me). I never suffered from self-doubt.

And NO - you definitely don't need a Cryano.

I'm not coy, and I can't bring myself to be artificial in order to lure someone in.

Of course not, nor did I suggest such. I was simply saying that direct approach is more likely successful with someone with whom one is familiar, as opposed to a complete stranger. The context is important.

 

[Evo]

Of course not, nor did I suggest such.

I was going to say that you weren't suggesting that.

I was simply saying that direct approach is more likely successful with someone with whom one is familiar, as opposed to a complete stranger. The context is important.

I do tend to frighten men off, but then if they don't like the fact that I am clear and upfront about things, it's probably better to weed them out in the beginning. Of course there could be innocent casualties, that's always a risk.

 

[EnumaElish]

I do tend to frighten men off, but then if they don't like the fact that I am clear and upfront about things, it's probably better to weed them out in the beginning.

I don't know about anyone else, but I feel thankful for the direct approach.

Sometimes we think "in this day and age," blah blah, but given a long history of hunter-gatherership in small groups, each man probably prefers to see himself more of a conquerer than an approachable-positive guy.

NYC-London starts from $500.

 

[Kurdt]

Sticks 10 GOOBF cards in Kurdt's computer.

Yey!

 

[Evo]

It's nice to see that the majority would not be put off by such an e-mail. I still will most likely chicken out and not contact him.

If I did, I guess I should send a picture. Which of these would be better? More in next post.

 

[Evo]

Smiling and with my glasses on.

 

[rewebster]

all ----five



you'll find out right away that way if he's married

I like #4 (except the van seat in the living room should have been color co-ordinated for the rug color just a hair better maybe)---

the others look like you're waiting for something (semi-impatiently)

 

[EnumaElish]

Which of these would be better? More in next post.

All three?

Edit: all five?

 

[Evo]

To bring those up to date, draw bags under my eyes, cover me with spider bites and put my arm in a sling.

 

[EnumaElish]

You'll never know until you send him something, with or without the sling.

 

[rewebster]

To bring those up to date, draw bags under my eyes, cover me with spider bites and put my arm in a sling.

do you mean that you want to make a photoshop contest on these?

 

[Evo]

do you mean that you want to make a photoshop contest on these?

Now that might be fun.

 

[Evo]

all ----five



you'll find out right away that way if he's married

I like #4 (except the van seat in the living room should have been color co-ordinated for the rug color just a hair better maybe)

That was my older daughter's apartment and she was moving, so things were strewn everywhere.

 

[EnumaElish]

A sling may be just what David needs.

 

[rewebster]

Now that might be fun.

AND THE WINNER OF THE CONTEST GETS...









to be the one to email for Evo the email to "what's his face" because Evo is hesitating

-----------------------------------------

do you have any 'good' photos NOT at the computer?

 

[Evo]

do you have any 'good' photos NOT at the computer?

They're all taken with my webcam.

Ok, a few.

 

[Moonbear]

If I did, I guess I should send a picture. Which of these would be better? More in next post.

Hey, now, no sending pictures of your daughters instead of you. (You're not allowed to look that young, are you?)

I like the one where you're actually smiling. It's a pretty humorous photo, too, with you sitting there in a business suit with all that junk scattered in the background like you're sitting in a garage.

I agree that the others look sort of impatient...obviously taken by webcam, but they seem to have the look that someone snuck up and snapped a photo while you were busy staring at the computer screen waiting for an email from some guy you've never met. Hmmm...wait, that might be just the look you need so he feels guilted into writing back.