Middle Age: Breaking Comfort Zones & Starting New Adventures

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In summary, the conversation is about the difficulty of making new friendships as an adult, particularly in middle age when people become more set in their ways and routines. The participants discuss taking risks and trying new things to break out of their comfort zones and make new connections. Some have had success in this, while others have faced challenges, such as being judged by others or being busy with work and other commitments. Despite these obstacles, some have made progress in making new friends and are encouraged to continue trying.
  • #71
DanP said:
By risk, I don't mean taking chances that endanger life and limb. I mean, doing new things. Something as simple as cooking a new recipe that uses a spice you've never heard of, or taking a walk through a park you've never been to before.
Those things can be hardly called risks =).
`

Sure these are risks; after an afternoon of paragliding and bungee jumping one risks that the spices are yucky and of course you can get lost in a park.
 
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  • #72
Andre said:
`

Sure these are risks; after an afternoon of paragliding and bungee jumping one risks that the spices are yucky and of course you can get lost in a park.

and some people 'risk' going out of their apartment...
 
  • #73
DanP said:
Those things can be hardly called risks =).

I'm open to a better word.
 
  • #74
lisab said:
I'm open to a better word.

takeonanewchallenge

stuckinarutremover

wanttotrysomethingnew
 
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  • #75
lisab said:
I'm open to a better word.

Ironically, I would term those rest and recuperation. Its incredible how stressful life becomes if you don't indulge in relaxing and interesting activities. Walks in the parks, in the woods, a evening at restaurant with your SO, a new food, I think at all those as rest.
 
  • #76
I've seen some people say they're 'going to take a risk' when its already something they're already doing, and its either a sidestep or a more involved layer of what they're already doing.

--like an artist trying a different style, or climber going for a steeper or taller mountain, or asking someone 'new' out on a date...

to them, it is stepping out of a safe zone.


I kind of remember something in that movie 'Bicentennial Man' where the woman said like--'do something wrong to find out if its right'...
 
  • #77
If I survive a parachute-less basejump, will I get a lot of friends?
 
  • #78
Only if it's into the amazing Guatemalan sinkhole.
 
  • #79
TubbaBlubba said:
If I survive a parachute-less basejump, will I get a lot of friends?

didnt you heard the about the "happy hunting grounds" ? :devil:
 
  • #80
lisab said:
By risk, I don't mean taking chances that endanger life and limb. I mean, doing new things. Something as simple as cooking a new recipe that uses a spice you've never heard of, or taking a walk through a park you've never been to before.

These are simple little things but as you get older, you tend to not take risks, even small ones. Life gets comfy...maybe too comfy.

I don't think using a new spice or making a new recipe is adventurous. That's NORMAL for me!
 
  • #81
lisab said:
By risk, I don't mean taking chances that endanger life and limb. I mean, doing new things. Something as simple as cooking a new recipe that uses a spice you've never heard of, or taking a walk through a park you've never been to before.

These are simple little things but as you get older, you tend to not take risks, even small ones. Life gets comfy...maybe too comfy.

What do you think is the reason for this?
 
  • #82
Galteeth said:
What do you think is the reason for this?

Ah, now that's a good question!
 
  • #83
shelovesmath said:
I don't think using a new spice or making a new recipe is adventurous. That's NORMAL for me!

It came up in an earlier post, "risk" or "adventure" aren't really appropriate words for what I'm talking about. It's the tendency for people to not repeat behaviors...whatever that's called. Notaroutine, I guess.
 
  • #84
lisab said:
It came up in an earlier post, "risk" or "adventure" aren't really appropriate words for what I'm talking about. It's the tendency for people to not repeat behaviors...whatever that's called. Notaroutine, I guess.
Generally speaking the older people get the less capacity they have for change, and they have an increased capacity for being able to make things stay the same. The result can be atrophy. Comfort is a good thing in that it is the opposite of being in distress, but atrophy has to be avoided.
 
  • #85
lisab said:
It came up in an earlier post, "risk" or "adventure" aren't really appropriate words for what I'm talking about. It's the tendency for people to not repeat behaviors...whatever that's called. Notaroutine, I guess.

Spontaneity?
 
  • #86
lisab said:
It came up in an earlier post, "risk" or "adventure" aren't really appropriate words for what I'm talking about. It's the tendency for people to not repeat behaviors...whatever that's called. Notaroutine, I guess.


Ive recently listened to a literary commentary on Tolkien's The Hobbit. What was interesting was the comment on Bilbo Baggins's two sides, the Baggins one (predictable, lazy and comfort oriented, never leaving the shelter of The Shire ) and his Took side (adventurous, non standard after the hobbit way of life, risk oriented with travels and fights). I've seen more example in the literature of this, Tartarin of Tarascon for example. The introduction of this character in the first book was marvelous, with his continue struggle between comfort and safety and the ire to travel, hunt and live adventures.

What I am trying to say is that in each one of us those two sides are present, in each in wildly different proportions. But I strongly believe that comfort is what breeds laziness and the desire to stay somewhere where you are sheltered.

So I think what one or another does to keep a healthy dose of adventure is not so important. Just do whatever works for you, be it belly dancing, hunting, hiking, sports, whatever. What makes me ticking might do nothing for you. The only important thing is that what you do takes you outside your shelter, and kills what makes you predictable by others.
 
  • #87
Well, I'm breaking my pattern of sedentaryness (© TUBBA'S ADJECTIVE FACTORY INC.) with ~three days of strength training a week, 60 minutes on my new crosstrainer every day and other various exercisess (stretching, some mild gymnasitcs, etc) on the non-strength days.
 
  • #88
lisab said:
It came up in an earlier post, "risk" or "adventure" aren't really appropriate words for what I'm talking about. It's the tendency for people to not repeat behaviors...whatever that's called. Notaroutine, I guess.

I'm guessing you're thinking more/different than a vacation/road trip then?

something new and different to do at or around while still at home?
 
  • #89
zoobyshoe said:
I am a substance oriented conversationalist and can't let the small talk go on too long. Things have to meander to something interesting relatively quickly or I'll meander away. On the other hand, with the right people, I can have fun for hours just playing around. Nothing gets discussed, there's just a general mood of amusement to which everyone contributes.
Can't help but think of AaSQGaSA!
 
  • #90
rewebster said:
I'm guessing you're thinking more/different than a vacation/road trip then?

something new and different to do at or around while still at home?

Yes, more than a one-time trip. I'm trying to keep from gathering moss, basically :smile:.

Things I'm doing: being open to spontaneity - tough to do, because like most people I have others depending on me. For example, my boss needs me to be at work at a certain time, of course. So...I have to, um, schedule my time to be spontaneous, lol. I'm fighting becoming more sedentary, too.

Just wondering if other people are having the same struggles.
 
  • #91
I'm fairly happy/content with my sphere usually, though its not a complete sphere so things do tend to enter and fall out-----There's a lot that seems I have to do which is an ongoing process, plus the occasional surprises that happen.

It seems the more that I do, the less I think about what I may be missing. The less that I 'expect' to happen, it seems the more 'things' happen.


...seems to fall into that Zen, Buddhist, I Ching thing ...


----are you thinking along the lines of introvert* or extrovert* activities?

http://giftedkids.about.com/od/glossary/g/introvert.htm


http://giftedkids.about.com/od/glossary/g/extrovert.htm
 
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  • #92
lisab said:
like most people I have others depending on me. For example, my boss needs me to be at work at a certain time, of course. So...I have to, um, schedule my time to be spontaneous

Sunday night I have to be on PF chat. Every morning I have to check what's new on PF. No time for spontaneity.
 
  • #93
Gokul43201 said:
Can't help but think of AaSQGaSA!
Those were the days.
 
  • #94
Andre said:
`

Sure these are risks; after an afternoon of paragliding and bungee jumping one risks that the spices are yucky and of course you can get lost in a park.

IMHO spices and walks in the park don't qualify as adventures/risks.
Maybe affairs or sabbaticals do.
 
  • #95
lisab said:
It came up in an earlier post, "risk" or "adventure" aren't really appropriate words for what I'm talking about. It's the tendency for people to not repeat behaviors...whatever that's called. Notaroutine, I guess.

I think I understand. You have a certain routine, or certain fallback behaviors, and it's like you have forgotten what's it like to not have those. Sort of like, hypothetically, I'm bored, I think I'll take a walk to the park. Wait a minute, I aways walk to the park, I know what to expect, that won't help. But then what instead... and the process by which more variety, or less of a routine, just happened, seems like a program you can't quite get to run.
 
  • #96
I like this thread and I can understand things what you are talking about.

But I don't think I'm facing the same problem because I'm only in my 20s.I also like to play with childrens younger than me because I feel relaxed and happy when I'm with them.And they are direct to me,I don't need to calculate too much.Though there are few childrens I can play with in our university.

What I'm interested is how to avoid comfort.People have inertia,I found myself don't like to do things that need me to think much.

For example,when I surf the internet,I'm more inclined to see the Chinese pages on news,which don't need me to think to much.Not webs like PF,which I think I can learn much more,both in language and thought.

And now I find most Chinese portals webs are becoming more and more entertainment,it's not good.I think I need to overcome my inertia to get rid of them,turing to English webs.Any ideas?
 
  • #97
Speaking about enjoying life. Just look at Feynman. You can see it in his eyes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/HKTSaezB4p8&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/HKTSaezB4p8&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
 
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  • #98
kakarotyjn said:
I like this thread and I can understand things what you are talking about.

But I don't think I'm facing the same problem because I'm only in my 20s.I also like to play with childrens younger than me because I feel relaxed and happy when I'm with them.And they are direct to me,I don't need to calculate too much.Though there are few childrens I can play with in our university.

What I'm interested is how to avoid comfort.People have inertia,I found myself don't like to do things that need me to think much.

For example,when I surf the internet,I'm more inclined to see the Chinese pages on news,which don't need me to think to much.Not webs like PF,which I think I can learn much more,both in language and thought.

And now I find most Chinese portals webs are becoming more and more entertainment,it's not good.I think I need to overcome my inertia to get rid of them,turing to English webs.Any ideas?

Hi kakarotyjn. :smile: Welcome to physicsforums. You can learn a lot on Physicsforums by reading, and also share what you like. Join in topics that you are interested in and ask questions, share your experience and contribute as you have here on this thread. The NSTA Learning Center has a book entitled Overcome Inertia through Summer Reading by Juliana Texley.
Description: Resistance or disinclination to motion is common in middle school teachers over the summer months, especially in those who find themselves at rest in a beach chair. But while your body is at rest, there are plenty of ways to energize your mind--reading is the ideal way to replace summer inertia with professional momentum!
http://learningcenter.nsta.org/product_detail.aspx?id=10.2505/4/ss06_029_08_21
I look forward to you joining in on the fun here.:smile:
 
  • #99
ViewsofMars said:
Hi kakarotyjn. :smile: Welcome to physicsforums. You can learn a lot on Physicsforums by reading, and also share what you like. Join in topics that you are interested in and ask questions, share your experience and contribute as you have here on this thread. The NSTA Learning Center has a book entitled Overcome Inertia through Summer Reading by Juliana Texley.

I look forward to you joining in on the fun here.:smile:


Hi ViewsofMars,:smile:,thank you for your welcome and your recommendation on the book.I like to see you talking here very much,the threads is interesting and some are meaningful.I really want to join you to share my opnions and find happiness with you.Maybe English is the main challange,because my English level is not good.I will motivate myself and I will do it.

Thank you again,haha,:smile:
 
  • #100
kakarotyjn said:
Hi ViewsofMars,:smile:,thank you for your welcome and your recommendation on the book.I like to see you talking here very much,the threads is interesting and some are meaningful.I really want to join you to share my opnions and find happiness with you.Maybe English is the main challange,because my English level is not good.I will motivate myself and I will do it.

Thank you again,haha,:smile:

Kakarotyjn, you are so very kind!:biggrin: You're English is charming. I'm super glad you are here.:biggrin: I'll be looking for you on the threads. It will tell me what you are interested in.

Have a wonderful day.

Mars
 
  • #101
I did two things "outside of my comfort zone" yesterday, one, take a break from PF, it was a bit weird, I guess my brain is now somehow "mapped" to experience that tiny buzz that comes with interacting with the knowledgeable folks here.

Second, I jogged (for the first time in years) a normal walking route by the beach, beautiful place. The first quarter of the slow jog was painful, but as things progressed the pain (lower ab's, lungs) got better, by the end I was feeling good, much to my surprise. No plantar fasciitius pain either, weird because I get it just walking, thought it would be there for sure, go figure.

Rhody...
 
  • #102
rhody said:
...I jogged (for the first time in years) ...
... by the end I was feeling good, much to my surprise...
You won't feel it until tomorrow.
 
  • #103
I'm currently spending 2 months in Beijing for an REU. Everyday here is an adventure.
 
  • #104
DaveC426913 said:
You won't feel it until tomorrow.

Funny you mention that Dave, usually the 'lactic acid" sets in about 12 hours later and so far I feel fine, when I said slow jog, I mean slow, maybe 5 mph tops.

Rhody...
 
  • #105
ViewsofMars said:
Kakarotyjn, you are so very kind!:biggrin: You're English is charming. I'm super glad you are here.:biggrin: I'll be looking for you on the threads. It will tell me what you are interested in.

Have a wonderful day.

Mars

Thank you.

It's now FIFA World Cup time,ha.I'm quite interested in soccer and I support Brasil! I think I will be enjoyable these days.:cool:
 

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