People who gain weight as they age

[Office_Shredder]

When I'm sixty, my wife is going to have a rocking body. She'll also be 22

 

[Lichdar]

"A man is only as old as the woman he feels up."

 

[S_Happens]

This is a good point, worth noting. It is a quantifiable and objective take on the subject of what is not a deal-breaker in a marriage.

I can't decide whether you're serious or sarcastic.

 

[DaveC426913]

I can't decide whether you're serious or sarcastic.

Serious.

There's lots of unfounded opinions flying around in this thread. Divorce statistics will show that appearance is pretty low on the list of marriage deal-breakers. It's about the only piece of evidence in this thread.

 

[S_Happens]

There's lots of unfounded opinions flying around in this thread.

Certainly.

I think the OP can turn this into a valid question if he really wants to. He just has to actually pose it as a question instead of a statement or rheotorical question. Statistically it isn't as important to most as it he thinks it will be to him.

Also, to me and seemingly the rest of those that have responded, there is a stark difference between "weight gained with age" and 100 lbs. 100 lbs would be quite significant to me (more than weight gained with age or "flabby" ), but I'm certainly not foolish enough to state outright that it would be something to get divorced over. I'm not in that situation, and there would be much, much more to consider if I ever was.

The general answer to the general question is that everyone will have their limit. Some will tend to infinity, while others will converge. That is going to have to be weighted against other factors as well, which each have their own limit. As each factor approaches its limit, the importance will increase. So, the general answer is... pluh...

A specific question would mean specifying a certain weight instead of a subjective term, and then ASKING what others think (or asking for individual limits). Of course I'm not going anywhere near that one.

 

[DaveC426913]

I think the OP can turn this into a valid question if he really wants to. He just has to actually pose it as a question instead of a statement or rheotorical question.

Huh. Asking questions instead of making statements.

That would have been a novel approach for the OP...

Also, to me and seemingly the rest of those that have responded, there is a stark difference between "weight gained with age" and 100 lbs. 100 lbs would be quite significant to me (more than weight gained with age or "flabby" ), but I'm certainly not foolish enough to state outright that it would be something to get divorced over. I'm not in that situation, and there would be much, much more to consider if I ever was.

The general answer to the general question is that everyone will have their limit. Some will tend to infinity, while others will converge. That is going to have to be weighted against other factors as well, which each have their own limit. As each factor approaches its limit, the importance will increase. So, the general answer is... pluh...

A specific question would mean specifying a certain weight instead of a subjective term, and then ASKING what others think (or asking for individual limits). Of course I'm not going anywhere near that one.

The thing being missed by the OP is that, in relationships, we don't simply walk in the front door one day and say "hey, you've gained 100 lbs!" There are events that cause that to happen - often depression and trauma. It is those events that a partner gets concerned over (because they care). If their partner refuses help and sinks into a state where they don't want to regain their life or get past whatever trauma befell them, then a partner might cut them loose. But there's about a hundred steps in there.

 

[DaveC426913]

So if your wife gained 100 lbs you'd be perfectly fine with that?

I would have been concerned loooong before that as to why she was traumatized or depressed. Those would be the things I'd be greatly concerned about. She's my wife; I love her and care about her well-being.

It seems you have simply not thought any of this through.

... because (like the vast majority of the Americans) people simply stop caring.

And you know this is true because...

...you've interviewed the vast majority of Americans?

 

[nucleargirl]

I am going to get so fat as I age, as did my mum and grandma... I am looking forward to it! can threaten to sit on people and be feared... would feel like king!

 

[DaveC426913]

I am going to get so fat as I age

Well, make sure you land that "hot guy" first then...

 

[nucleargirl]

Well, make sure you land that "hot guy" first then...

lol! then I can threaten to sit on him to make him change!

 

[Alfi]

I have to admit I've gained mass as I've gotten older

I used to be 4.4 Kg ...but that was 55 years ago.
energy in equals energy out + fat

 

[pergradus]

Maybe I approached this thread too bluntly or a little over-generalized, but do you guys really believe that physical attraction isn't important in a relationship, including maintaining that physical attraction?

 

[Alfi]

Maybe I approached this thread too bluntly or a little over-generalized, but do you guys really believe that physical attraction isn't important in a relationship, including maintaining that physical attraction?

"you guys' ... ??

I don't. I don't speak for anyone else. ... for us ..it's been .. after 20+ years
good conversation ..
Agreement about most of our beliefs
same laughter at things.

Physical ... naw ... secondary at best...Just being truthful :)

 

[DaveC426913]

Maybe I approached this thread too bluntly or a little over-generalized, but do you guys really believe that physical attraction isn't important in a relationship, including maintaining that physical attraction?

Again, not a lot of relationships end because of loss of physical attraction.


Who knows? Maybe you think life is easy. And perhaps the reality is that it is a lot harder than you think it is.

Finding the right partner to help you weather it is a real art. (I've gone through six since my teens, some were spectacularly beautiful, but they lasted only a few months.)

Physical hardbodyness just does not contribute that significantly to keeping a relationshiop together when there's so many bigger challenges.

Frankly, I am attracted to my wife's mind. That's a turn-on. And that makes me physically attracted to her.

 

[leroyjenkens]

Maybe I'm old-fashioned or stuck up or something, but this really bothers me, and it seems to be a growing trend that people gain weight and become flabby as they get older.

To me this seems so disrespectful to your partner. A man or woman was attracted to you based on how you looked when he/she met you - and obviously they like that kind of physique. How is it that people just let themselves go to crap once they get married?

It seems so selfish and inconsiderate of how your partner feels, and though I'm a young guy and won't be married for a long time, i would always try to stay in shape so that I look good for my wife, and would hope she'd do the same for me. I understand this probably sounds shallow to most people, but I feel that physical attraction is a huge part of a relationship, and it's just a fundamental part of being a human being.

I mean, you wouldn't go out on a date with someone with shabby clothes and food stains all over yourself, so why would you neglect your physical appearance? Also I'm saying "you" a lot, but I'm not necessarily addressing the reader or accusing anyone here, just addressing Americans in general.

I agree completely with everything you said.

People do tend to gain more body fat as they age, but if you had a low body fat before, then maybe your metabolism slowed down, but you could easily correct that with some exercise. It seems like people just almost completely stop exercising once they get past a certain age.

 

[bleedblue1234]

I think a part of the problem is that many older people simply don't have the social resources to exercise regularly.

Many of them are long beyond playing sports and doing other things that lead to exercise secondarily (for instance, I currently play hockey as an 18 year old, and I am in pretty darn good shape because of it). Also, many running / exercise clubs are geared towards the younger crowd (<40)...

However, I do notice a lot of older people seem to enjoy biking and things that are a little more quaint but still provide good exercise. An older person simply cannot train as hard as a younger person, but if they eat right and keep moving I see no reason why he/she cannot maintain a good physical appearance (My grandmother is 75 years old and is not "flabby" at all... she looks fine, as any other man/woman should look, probably around 150 pounds)...

 

[ideasrule]

I think a part of the problem is that many older people simply don't have the social resources to exercise regularly.

Many of them are long beyond playing sports and doing other things that lead to exercise secondarily (for instance, I currently play hockey as an 18 year old, and I am in pretty darn good shape because of it). Also, many running / exercise clubs are geared towards the younger crowd (<40)...

True, but you don't need social resources to stay in shape. Not enough sports clubs? Go to the gym, swim at the beach, jog a few kilometers every day, or ride a bike (as you suggested) across hilly terrain. Go hiking somewhere and do some rock climbing while you're at it.

Even if you don't have time to do any of that, you can always cut down on junk food and maintain a balanced diet. Absolutely no time commitment or social/financial resources are needed for this. I know plenty of young people (high school students) who are in great shape, despite not playing sports or exercising heavily, because they avoid eating chips 24/7 while lying on the couch.

 

[DaveC426913]

I just don't get it.

How can any of you commit such sweeping generalized judgements in a vacuum of facts?

You know nothing about the lives of the people you are judging - well, you're not really judging people at all. You're judging an unfounded preconception you have of a group you've made up and stuffed - what? thousands? millions? of people into. They all have the same lives and are perfectly free to have hard, fit bodies and the only reason they don't is beause they've stopped caring?

This is ridiculous.

 

[Proton Soup]

I just don't get it.

How can any of you commit such sweeping generalized judgements in a vacuum of facts?

You know nothing about the lives of the people you are judging - well, you're not really judging people at all. You're judging an unfounded preconception you have of a group you've made up and stuffed - what? thousands? millions? of people into. They all have the same lives and are perfectly free to have hard, fit bodies and the only reason they don't is beause they've stopped caring?

This is ridiculous.

are you disputing the statistics? perhaps on an individual basis BMI is not reliable, but on a population it's a pretty good indicator. and the numbers show that our BMIs have continued to rise. it's not a personal judgement, just an observation of facts that, as a nation (US), we are getting more obese. and it's not just a matter of having less active work lives, our consumption of calories has also gone up. we eat more, and we exercise less. at some point, we've got to stop worrying so much about stepping on everyone's feelings and take ownership of the idea that, as a matter of health, our nation needs to eat less and exercise more.

 

[ideasrule]

I just don't get it.

How can any of you commit such sweeping generalized judgements in a vacuum of facts?

You know nothing about the lives of the people you are judging - well, you're not really judging people at all. You're judging an unfounded preconception you have of a group you've made up and stuffed - what? thousands? millions? of people into. They all have the same lives and are perfectly free to have hard, fit bodies and the only reason they don't is beause they've stopped caring?

This is ridiculous.

Just to clarify, my previous post was meant to argue that not having social resources doesn't need to prevent anyone from exercising. It doesn't try to argue that all of the people are "perfectly free to have hard, fit bodies".

That said, if you want to claim that they can't have hard, fit bodies if they cared, that's no less of a sweeping generalization than the judgments you're denouncing. It's a kinder generalization, sure, but it's no more accurate and certainly not universally applicable. Undoubtedly, a lot of people do become overweight because they lost interest in dieting/exercising, and a lot become overweight due to stress, physical injury, lack of free time, etc. You seem to be assuming, without any supporting evidence, that the first group is negligible in size compared to the second.

 

[Alfi]

are you disputing the statistics? perhaps on an individual basis BMI is not reliable, but on a population it's a pretty good indicator. and the numbers show that our BMIs have continued to rise. it's not a personal judgement, just an observation of facts that, as a nation (US), we are getting more obese. and it's not just a matter of having less active work lives, our consumption of calories has also gone up. we eat more, and we exercise less. at some point, we've got to stop worrying so much about stepping on everyone's feelings and take ownership of the idea that, as a matter of health, our nation needs to eat less and exercise more.

as I said
.. energy in equals energy out + fat.


but this has little to do with relationships, unless you make it an issue.
Love is blind. or Love is beyond the physical.

 

[Proton Soup]

as I said
.. energy in equals energy out + fat.


but this has little to do with relationships, unless you make it an issue.
Love is blind. or Love is beyond the physical.

relationships (the marrying kind) are about more than love. and at some point, excessive weight has a negative impact on hormones.

 

[DaveC426913]

are you disputing the statistics?

... just an observation of facts...

Really? There are statistics that show that, as people age, the reason they gain weight is that they stop caring out of disrespect for their spouses?

Because that's what's being claimed by the OP and seconded by leroyjenkins.

 

[lisab]

Really? There are statistics that show that, as people age, the reason they gain weight is that they stop caring out of disrespect for their spouses?

Because that's what's being claimed by the OP and seconded by leroyjenkins.

No, that's not what the OP said. He said they gain weight, which is disrespectful of their spouse. He did not say that they gain wait because they disrespect their spouse.

 

[Evo]

I haven't been keeping up with this thread, but has anyone cited a very obvious reason that most elderly people gain weight aside from the fact that their metabolism slows? It's their health. They may have rheumatism, arthritis, bone, joint, and lung problems, and numerous other health issues. The amount of exersize these people can do is severely limited. It's not because they are lazy or without motivation.

 

[S_Happens]

Lisab did at the very onset, with respect to longer healing times at least.

My goal here hasn't been to argue with the OP, but point out that they are making uneducated assumptions with regards to both marriage and physiology. If I thought they were interested in an actual discussion or if they asked a question that wasn't rhetorical then I would participate beyond simply pointing these things out.

Until the OP points out that they are grossly ignorant of the subject(s) and open to information, I'm happy with the nowhere that this has gone. Who really cares what another's ignorant opinion is?