Programming Jokes: Lame, Science & Math Jokes!

In summary: An oldie but a goodie: Why do programmers confuse halloween and Christmas?What do you call it when a story goes round a stable time loop and returns to its own beginning?CSS properties are pretty flexible and browser renderers can be pretty accommodating. For example, the font-size property can accept a few different units of measurement, including px and em.Why does it take programmers so long to wash their hair?Because on the shampoo bottle it says "Lather, rinse and repeat".Q: How do you comfort a JavaScript bug?A: You console it.From a college drinking song:An MIT computer man got drunk one
  • #281
My helpdesk fun went like this today:

Me: My remote desktop got messed up and rebuilt itself. I need to recover yesterday's profile.
Helpdesk: OK, I'll put a ticket in to rebuild it.
Me: No, I need it restored, not rebuilt again.
Helpdesk: Yes, I'll send in a ticket and they'll rebuild your profile.
Me: :rolleyes:
 
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  • #282
I've used the free DeskTopOK utility for years -- really saved my behind a few times. It can save or restore the desktop layout on demand. Very handy when I rotate my display to Portrait mode then back to Landscape.

https://www.softwareok.com/

Cheers,
Tom
 
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  • #283
what-if.jpg
 
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  • #284
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  • #286
jack action said:
Once Windows updated my computer so frequently it took up all the bandwidth and became unusable.
 
  • #287
jack action said:
A real AI who defeated six pros used frequent large initial bets.
 
  • #288
Borg said:
My helpdesk fun went like this today:

Me: My remote desktop got messed up and rebuilt itself. I need to recover yesterday's profile.
Helpdesk: OK, I'll put a ticket in to rebuild it.
Me: No, I need it restored, not rebuilt again.
Helpdesk: Yes, I'll send in a ticket and they'll rebuild your profile.
Me: :rolleyes:
what about system restore? DIY
 
  • #289
TonyStewart said:
what about system restore? DIY
I don't have any control over the computer's environment.

Today's fun discovery when I logged in this morning:

Sysadmin: Let's do a complete re-image of people's computers and bury the announcement in a corporate email that nobody reads so that they don't know to back everything up. Everything will be deleted - files, profile settings, bookmarks, etc. Yeah! That will be fun.
 
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  • #290
Borg said:
Sysadmin: Let's do a complete re-image of people's computers and bury the announcement in a corporate email that nobody reads so that they don't know to back everything up. Everything will be deleted - files, profile settings, bookmarks, etc. Yeah! That will be fun.
Well, it's not April 1st...
 
  • #291
Borg said:
Sysadmin: Let's do a complete re-image of people's computers and bury the announcement in a corporate email that nobody reads so that they don't know to back everything up. Everything will be deleted - files, profile settings, bookmarks, etc. Yeah! That will be fun.
Shoot him. No jury in America would convict you. :smile:
 
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  • #292
phinds said:
Shoot him. No jury in America would convict you. :smile:

I'm starting on a new project in a different location (including different admins, computers, etc.) on Monday. Seems fitting that this group should inflict one last injustice before I leave.

EDIT:
One of my co-workers got his profile back this morning so maybe mine will come back eventually.
 
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  • #293
neo-cookie.jpg
 
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  • #295
1687122895122.png
 
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  • #298
1687123296269.png
 
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  • #302
Divide and ignore algorithm.

1687887200604.png
 
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  • #307
Once upon a time when you could still run "CMD" on a Windoze box its was no end of fun starting CMD in fullscreen, enter "debug", issuing 'u' or 'd' a cpl of times then pressing Ctrl+Alt+Left Arrow (so the screen got turned on it's side and then ask some new "sysadmin" for help and watch them panic.

EDIT: Looking back at it I must've been really really bored.
 
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  • #314
Twitter has become truly amazing.

1688319578648.png
 
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