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Programming Jokes: Lame, Science & Math Jokes!
- Thread starter Wrichik Basu
- Start date
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- Jokes Programming
In summary: An oldie but a goodie: Why do programmers confuse halloween and Christmas?What do you call it when a story goes round a stable time loop and returns to its own beginning?CSS properties are pretty flexible and browser renderers can be pretty accommodating. For example, the font-size property can accept a few different units of measurement, including px and em.Why does it take programmers so long to wash their hair?Because on the shampoo bottle it says "Lather, rinse and repeat".Q: How do you comfort a JavaScript bug?A: You console it.From a college drinking song:An MIT computer man got drunk one
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Read the licence before you use!
https://github.com/Gottox/sltar/commit/f43d20638774b1f77ef4fa606330126872ae549d
https://github.com/Gottox/sltar/commit/f43d20638774b1f77ef4fa606330126872ae549d
- #257
Ibix
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Off the back of this thread: https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/why-does-my-godot-object-only-spawn-once.1051566/
Have you tried waiting?
Are you sure if it spawned before?
Leave the computer and come back tomorrow. (Stays exactly where he is)
Have you tried waiting?
Are you sure if it spawned before?
Leave the computer and come back tomorrow. (Stays exactly where he is)
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Arjan82
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I've checked (i.e. asked chatGPT) and the next summer solstice with a full moon is in 2062, so we're good... for now...Wrichik Basu said:
(also, the previous was in 2016, which is 2 years after this document was dated, so I guess the Devil should still be satisfied
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Tooltip text: Real programmers set the universal constants at the start such that the universe evolves to contain the disk with the data they want.
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- #261
sbrothy
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I think fortune is a potential oldschool goldmine if you know what to search for:
sbrothy@PAULINE:~$ fortune -m CPU
(riddles)
%
Q: How many IBM CPU's does it take to do a logical right shift?
A: 33. 1 to hold the bits and 32 to push the register.
%
Don't say nerd.
sbrothy@PAULINE:~$ fortune -m CPU
(riddles)
%
Q: How many IBM CPU's does it take to do a logical right shift?
A: 33. 1 to hold the bits and 32 to push the register.
%
Don't say nerd.
- #262
sbrothy
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sbrothy@PAULINE:~$ fortune -m machine
(riddles)
%
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub
with brightly colored machine tools.
[Surrealist jokes just aren't my cup of fur. Ed.]
%
Maybe not programming related but it's still a kinda favorite of mine.
(riddles)
%
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub
with brightly colored machine tools.
[Surrealist jokes just aren't my cup of fur. Ed.]
%
Maybe not programming related but it's still a kinda favorite of mine.
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TonyStewart
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We are all dumb at some subject, and we are all Infidels to someone else's religion.strangerep said:Oh, I dunno. Anyone who says (seriously) "that's a dumb question" deserves to be mentioned in a jokes thread.
Yet we expect users to know how to do a simple search web lookup after kindergarten.
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strangerep
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Who is "we". I certainly don't expect that.TonyStewart said:
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jbriggs444
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Hope springs eternal. And is eternally dashed.strangerep said:Who is "we". I certainly don't expect that.
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TonyStewart
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@TonyStewart said
The ability to ask the right questions and understand the assumptions underlying a problem is a crucial part of critical thinking and problem-solving.
In this sense, education should focus on developing these skills to know when to go into a Q&A forum and boldly ask a simple question or preferably state how the search led to confusion.
Most of all we need to teach tolerance of others who are willing to learn.
There are prompts that could be pre-empted to new users to check if they have attempted any homework and show it first after they have searched online.
We are all dumb at some subject, and we are all Infidels to someone else's religion.
Yet we expect users to know how to do a simple search web lookup after kindergarten.
I apologize if my previous (tongue in cheek) response came across as presumptuous. In today's age of easy access to information, we should encourage and teach people of all ages to be more self-directed and resourceful in seeking out information and knowledge.Yet we expect users to know how to do a simple search web lookup after kindergarten.
The ability to ask the right questions and understand the assumptions underlying a problem is a crucial part of critical thinking and problem-solving.
In this sense, education should focus on developing these skills to know when to go into a Q&A forum and boldly ask a simple question or preferably state how the search led to confusion.
Most of all we need to teach tolerance of others who are willing to learn.
There are prompts that could be pre-empted to new users to check if they have attempted any homework and show it first after they have searched online.
strangerep said:Who is "we". I certainly don't expect that.
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BillTre
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- #268
pinball1970
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Unless that is really a thing?BillTre said:
In which case case that would be a WHAT!?
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Borg
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My computer seems jumpy lately. I might need something to help it take the Edge off.
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TonyStewart
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An Artificial Joke?
I don't need anymore stinkin' updates.
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Why is my computer cold in the summer? Because I closed Windows Updates and now my air (CPU) conditioner only runs 2% of the time on average. Below running a dozen apps like Thunderbird, Firefox, Portable Apps, Start Menu, Irfanview, Winpatrol
I suggest Revo uninstaller. No side effects and long-lasting pain relief and no charge without ads using 2.4.4 Portable. Even better, take off Win 10/11 and jump back to Win7x64 and/or remove all the Telemetry.Borg said:
I don't need anymore stinkin' updates.
---
Why is my computer cold in the summer? Because I closed Windows Updates and now my air (CPU) conditioner only runs 2% of the time on average. Below running a dozen apps like Thunderbird, Firefox, Portable Apps, Start Menu, Irfanview, Winpatrol
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TonyStewart
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It might take more than a tranquilizer or put computer to sleep if you have Edge installed, Virustotal shows that it makes 84,263 execution during the install..Take a look and click it, it looks a little edgyBorg said:
https://www.virustotal.com/graph/6675000f8d493df6211aa670f977ce17e8f2bb35132718dc3e873b0a49e000f9
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Ibix
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They call it "Redmond Roulette".Wrichik Basu said:
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Tom.G
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But the odds are better at the casino!Ibix said:
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Borg
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I was thinking Help Desk Roulette when I saw it.Ibix said:
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DaveC426913
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This keeps happening.
Us: "We are having trouble installing this software on our office system."
Helpdesk: "We're not sure why. Go ahead and turn off your Antivirus."
Us: "We are having trouble installing this software on our office system."
Helpdesk: "We're not sure why. Go ahead and turn off your Antivirus."