Thread Killer Champions: Franzbear & Moonbear

[icvotria]

you're not getting me to leave I will take this thread to 100,000+ posts, just so you won't kill it. and I think that it's just you and me that still post here

And us post-and-runners I think I'd be sad if Franzbear died...

 

[SOS2008]

Nope, nobody is killing this thread but me.
*puts on drill seargent sunglasses*

Okay minions, fall in!
*paces while talking*
We need to take action. SOS, we'll need that wheelchair of yours for the ground mission. We're revving up the supersonic RV for air support and loading ammo for the roof-mounted bazooka. Get your poofy hats and capes ready. We'll be conducting intensive swooping and swooshing drills en route. Artman, get that sword polished! Any questions? Okay, we're all set. Give it a BooYah!

I've brought the wheelchair, and maybe Danger can design a way to automate deployment from the supersonic RV. I do have a question. Are we doing this with pants on or off?

 

[Huckleberry]

No pants, just poofy hats and capes. Boo Yah!

 

[Moonbear]

No pants, just poofy hats and capes. Boo Yah!

Yep, nobody ever requested pants as part of the minion uniform, just poofy hats, capes and swords.

 

[hypatia]

well that makes a really kinky visual.

 

[Moonbear]

well that makes a really kinky visual.

Does that mean you want to join the minions?

 

[JamesU]

you're all crazy

 

[Moonbear]

you're all crazy

We already knew that, but thanks for checking.

 

[Evo]

you're all crazy

Sorry yomamma, you're one of US now. Muwahahahaha.

 

[Moonbear]

Sorry yomamma, you're one of US now. Muwahahahaha.

Okay, I think we've reached a quorum. Yomamma's officially a minion. *hands yomamma a bit poofy hat and cape* We're going to give you a training sword for now until we're sure you can handle it without hurting yourself.

 

[JamesU]

how do you like the idea of a lovely padded room with a relaxing, calming straightjacket? and no sharp objects that might disturb your relaxation. nobody will bother you, and you get your food through a lovely contraption called the slit in the door. you also get a small window with quite the view, and some bars on it to accent the colors outside. a sometimes, some nice man or woman will come into your room and have a talk. they won't bother you if you do not want them there.

This place is called fountain springs -cough!-ment-cough!-al instit-AACHHOO!-ution resort...

 

[Danger]

I've brought the wheelchair, and maybe Danger can design a way to automate deployment from the supersonic RV. I do have a question. Are we doing this with pants on or off?

Working on it, sweetie. Almost have the braking jets installed in the drop pod. Figuring out how to get you back aboard after the mission is the tricky part, especially without your pants. I have an idea in mind, but I'm pretty sure you won't like it.

 

[JamesU]

Okay, I think we've reached a quorum. Yomamma's officially a minion. *hands yomamma a bit poofy hat and cape* We're going to give you a training sword for now until we're sure you can handle it without hurting yourself.

can I still wear pants?

 

[Evo]

I think yomamma's going to kill this thread. He has the dedication, and due to his youth, will simply outlive the rest of us.

I've always wondered about straightjackets. Wouldn't being put in one make you crazy?

 

[JamesU]

I think yomamma's going to kill this thread. He has the dedication, and due to his youth, will simply outlive the rest of us.

I appreciate that you admit that I'm better than you in every aspect. By admitting this, you have officially let me take your place as the biggest ******* this forum has ever known.

I've always wondered about straightjackets. Wouldn't being put in one make you crazy?

Yes, when we put BT in one, he went crazy and hasn't posted here since

 

[Moonbear]

I think yomamma's going to kill this thread. He has the dedication, and due to his youth, will simply outlive the rest of us.

Well, unless he meets and early demise or I live to be unusually old (I haven't given up plans on that yet), then I'd have to concede you're probably right there. But I'm not going down without a fight. One of these days he'll start noticing the girls and this thread will be long forgotten; that's what I'm counting on.

 

[Evo]

I appreciate that you admit that I'm better than you in every aspect. By admitting this, you have officially let me take your place as the biggest ******* this forum has ever known.

Biggest what?? I was paying you a compliment! (takes it all back now) hmmmpf ingrate

 

[JamesU]

Well, unless he meets and early demise or I live to be unusually old (I haven't given up plans on that yet)

*slips unnecesary pill into moonbear's drink* what!? oh, it think it's possible you could outlive me...*looks around*

 

[Moonbear]

*slips unnecesary pill into moonbear's drink* what!? oh, it think it's possible you could outlive me...*looks around*

Oh, those pills are like vitamins for me. I'm too weird for them to have their normal effect. Thanks for helping me try to live longer.

 

[JamesU]

no, those are the green ones, the ones you know about

I did slip some others, there's a red one, it says "biohazard" and has a flowery thing on it. the blue one says, "warning radioactive" but I never really thought about it

 

[Danger]

I killed this threadfor 12 hours once

You didn't kill it; you just bored it into a coma.

 

[hypatia]

Join? {evil grin} My plan is to sit quietly in the wings, and wait for just the right moment. Then pounce and kill this thread with one mighty felled swoop..
But heck if the minions throw a good party I'm in!

 

[Moonbear]

no, those are the green ones, the ones you know about

I did slip some others, there's a red one, it says "biohazard" and has a flowery thing on it. the blue one says, "warning radioactive" but I never really thought about it

I already work with that stuff. I'm immune.

 

[Moonbear]

oh, you think I'm not a thread killer? well, let's see, I killed the sitine brain thread, I killed this threadfor 12 hours once, and many others in the general discussion category. you, are a n00b.

That was a nap. I think I still hold the 18 hour record.

 

[JamesU]

I already work with that stuff. I'm immune.

hhmmm... *doorbell rings* grrr..I'm trying to slip a pill into moonbear's drnk, who is that?! *opens door* oh, hi franzbear! how are you? so you avoided the firing squad? oh, they were bribed with that cracka-powdered sugar!

anyway, Moonbear wants to explain the powdered sugar, the sailors, the firing squad...moonbear?! I'll leave you two alone...

 

[JamesU]

Finally!

*goes behind wall*
*slides eyes from painting of man*
*looks through eyeholes*
I can see moonbear and franzbear! I won't let her kill him, that's my job!

 

[JamesU]

:zzz: it's off to the freezer for me...good night all

 

[Artman]

Did anyone else catch David Letterman last night? Jack Hannah...the zoo guy...was on and brought along a couple of armadillos. The armadillos decided to go at it hot and heavy right on David's desk! Apparently it's really difficult to get them to mate, so Jack was talking about how exciting it was. At first he was going to move them, and then David said not to interrupt them if it was so rare. LOL! Male armadillos are very well-endowed too!

We need a top ten list why armadillos feel the need to mate on Letterman's desk. I'll be back later with mine.

 

[Artman]

Top ten reasons why armadillos mate on Letterman’s desk.

10. What the heck, they’re armadillos. They can do it wherever they want.

9. All the hotels were booked

8. They wanted to push the censorship boundaries on national TV

7. They figured they were too hot for prime time.

6. Letterman left a copy of Playarmadillo open to the centerfold in the greenroom.

5. They wanted to do it on Donny and Marie’s show but it wasn’t on the air anymore.

4. The male said, “Let’s just kiss. We won’t get carried away.”

3. The male said, “Let’s do it right here on the desk. No one’s watching.”

2. The female armadillo just discovered that male armadillos are really "well-endowed."

And the Number one reason that armadillos mate on Letterman’s desk is:

1. The band was playing a Barry White song.

 

[Moonbear]

Top ten reasons why armadillos mate on Letterman’s desk.

10. What the heck, they’re armadillos. They can do it wherever they want.

9. All the hotels were booked

8. They wanted to push the censorship boundaries on national TV

7. They figured they were too hot for prime time.

6. Letterman left a copy of Playarmadillo open to the centerfold in the greenroom.

5. They wanted to do it on Donny and Marie’s show but it wasn’t on the air anymore.

4. The male said, “Let’s just kiss. We won’t get carried away.”

3. The male said, “Let’s do it right here on the desk. No one’s watching.”

2. The female armadillo just discovered that male armadillos are really "well-endowed."

And the Number one reason that armadillos mate on Letterman’s desk is:

1. The band was playing a Barry White song.

That's great! Yep, speciesism rears its ugly head again. Noboby objects to well-endowed armadillos mating on Letterman's desk, but let some humans try and the censors will be all over it. Then again, do you suppose they were fined by the FCC for airing indecency?

 

[Artman]

That's great! Yep, speciesism rears its ugly head again. Noboby objects to well-endowed armadillos mating on Letterman's desk, but let some humans try and the censors will be all over it. Then again, do you suppose they were fined by the FCC for airing indecency?

"Is it twue what they say about how you awmadiwwos awe gwifted?"

I wonder if all male armadillos are so equiped or just that one?

"Hey baby, looky at what I got."
"Woof!"
"You want to check out my etching over here on Dave's desk?"
"Uh huh."

<Barry White playing in the background>
Your Sweet Shell is my Weakness
By Artman

(To the tune of Barry White's Your Sweetness Is My Weakness)

Ooh, armadillo, you know like I know, uh-huh
What your lovin’, shell baby, has done for me
Like a armadillo layin’ on a desk, uh-huh

You’re a lovely sight, on Letterman’s desk tonight, mmm, hmm
The way you give me your sweet love
Any place and time when you look at me I get weak in my knees
I’m so thankful that you’re mine

Your sweet shell is my weakness, yeah
Girl, your sweet shell is my weakness, yeah, yeah
Sweet hard shell is my weakness, well
You sweet shell is my weakness

They all say that I’m a fool, uh-huh
For lovin’ you, for lovin’ in front of Dave
But sure as I am, here on Letterman
I don’t care what they say, what the people say

Other armadillos try to imitate you
With the other armadillos, uh-huh
But I’m the only boy ‘round here
Whose got a superdillo uh huh.

Sweet shell is my weakness, yeah, yeah
Sweet shell is my weakness, yeah (Uh-huh), yeah (Uh-huh)
Sweet shell is my weakness, yeah (Ooh), yeah (Ooh)
Sweet shell is my weakness, yeah, yeah

Sweet shell is my weakness

 

[Moonbear]

Woo hoo! I think that might knock Rhino Love off the top of the charts!

 

[Artman]

The male says, "What do you think? Will Dave notice if just...you know...right here on his..."

<zip>

She says, "Um, a little sweet armadillo lovin'. Umhum, right here on the desk."

<(70's porno music) Bow chicka Bowwow>

"Ohh baby, the way you wiggle that armour baby. You know what they say baby, that an armadillo's armour is made up of small plates of horny bone. They don't know how true that is, baby they just don't know. Uh huh."

<Boomchucka Bow chicka Bowwow chicka boom chicka>

"Just open that shell baby, open that protective shell, uhhuh."

To which the female responds:

"Stop talking and give me that horny bone. You big hunk of armadillo."

 

[Artman]

When interviewed after the show the armadillos replied, "We don't know what happened. We usually do this while watching the tonight show..."

 

[Artman]

Then their moms and dads watching back in the armadillo house at the zoo...

"Hey turn on Letterman, Arthur and Amanda are on tonight."

<Turns on TV>

"There they are now. That nice man is putting them on Dave's desk. Isn't that sweet."

"What are they.."

Oh My God!