Thread Killer Champions: Franzbear & Moonbear

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In summary, Franzbear is the most prolific thread killer in the forum. He has killed at least 12 threads and is likely responsible for 21 more. His ability to kill threads is not a direct outcome of the evidence (number of last posts). You have to at least factor in the total number of posts by each person (posts in GD) to get a more accurate representation of the killer instinct. Franz and Moonie have so many posts here, they are more likely to be the winning killers. You have to divide the number of kills by the total number of posts during the same period to get a corrected distribution.
  • #8,191
Dangit when is this thread going to die??
 
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  • #8,192
Moonbear said:
Well, you know how it is, it's just a mother's instinct to want to protect her son from cuss words. I shouldn't shelter Franzbear so much.
Well, as far as I've heard, dive to hell is a much better course, and they don't teach you all that saftey crap! they tell you how to avoid real problems, like domestic violence.

--franzbear's first day at the "dive to hell" diving & dying academy--

Okay, now just put these nice tanks on. don't worry, dive to hell gave us a certificate that said if you were to die, we get $100.00!

ppft! no, don't use those plastic fins! use the ones that uncle artman got you for your birthday, yeah, the concrete ones. ready, 1, 2, 3! JUMP!

*SPLASH!*

uh oh, is that some of that really sharp coral?! :rolleyes:

where's franzbear, I can't see him through all this blood! oh, there he is.
 
  • #8,193
yomamma said:
where's franzbear, I can't see him through all this blood! oh, there he is.
Oh, cool, I was going to suggest we get some chum and see if we can get some sharks into pet, but that'll save us the effort now. Look! I see a fin already. Franzbear, you have to splash around a lot to get the shark to come close enough to pet it. :approve:
 
  • #8,194
It looks like franzbear's getting riped to peices...DON'T WORRY, JUST SMACK THE SHARK, IT'LL GO AWAY!

*smack*
*bubble...bubble...*

AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
*bubble...*
 
  • #8,195
yomamma said:
It looks like franzbear's getting riped to peices...DON'T WORRY, JUST SMACK THE SHARK, IT'LL GO AWAY!

*smack*
*bubble...bubble...*

AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
*bubble...*
That doesn't seem to be working! Don't worry Franzbear, I'll find a way for you to scare away those hungry sharks.

Hummm, now let's see, what could scare away hungry sharks?

<3 hours later>

I couldn't find anything in my attic. Hey, maybe you could use yomamma's avatar...nah that won't keep them away to long...Hey I got it! The perfect thing. Now I have to go and get one. I'll be back soon.

<4 hours later>

Sorry I'm so late Franz, but that sports shoe store I like, you know, the one where I got you your concrete swim fins, was having their Once-in-a-Blue-Moon Sale and I couldn't make up my mind between the new sneakers with the blue strip or the new sneakers that were solid white. What do you think? Can't decide? You're looking kind of blue, (except for the red parts). Okay I guess I'll get the blue ones. Thanks! :smile:

<3.5 hours later>

There was a long line at the counter. They thought they were out of my size, just my luck huh, but then they found some. Aren't you happy for me? :smile:

Oh, here is what I bought for you to repell the hungry sharks...what's that, they're not so hungry anymore? Does that mean you don't want it? Okay here it is...a 625,000 volt stun gun.

<hands the stun gun to the soaking wet Franzbear>

<ZiiiiiiiiAPPPPPP!>

Oooh look at that, it didn't scare it away afterall, it just pissed it off. Humm, seemed to do more harm to poor franzbear. oh well. :biggrin: :devil:
 
  • #8,196
*yanks franzbear out of the water*

I TOLD YOU NOT TO PLAY WITH DANGEROUS ANIMALS!

*smacks franzbear with his new, steel flippers*

Now, come on, we'd better et you o the lemmè dìe Hospital

no, no, it's pronounced 'lemmay dee'

come on!
 
  • #8,197
That was almost 11 hours! Can't let that happen can we? As you may or may not know, I now head the ERAKFA (eh-rak-fah), Extremely Radical Anti Kill Franzbear Association.
 
  • #8,198
Well, nobody is going to kill Franzbear except me, so you have nothing to worry about MK! :devil:
 
  • #8,199
AACHHHEMMM! you are forgetting that my cousin franzbear stated that he would most like to be killed by me, so you'd better go and edit his will pretty soon.
 
  • #8,200
Moonbear said:
Well, nobody is going to kill Franzbear except me, so you have nothing to worry about MK! :devil:
In fact, it has been Franzbear's dying wish (on many occasions) to be killed by his uncle Artman.
 
  • #8,201
Moonbear said:
Hurry up or you'll be late for school, yomamma! :biggrin:
Oooohh that's cruel. :-p :devil: :-p Don't forget your rubbers (in case it rains). :smile:
 
  • #8,202
Artman said:
Oooohh that's cruel. :-p :devil: :-p Don't forget your rubbers (in case it rains). :smile:

RUBBERS? HE'S 13!

Oh you meant rubber boots?...hehe...run along now yomamma o:)
 
  • #8,203
I hold the 26-hour record. But moonbear holds the 28 hour record. I consider us equals
 
  • #8,204
yomamma said:
I hold the 26-hour record. But moonbear holds the 28 hour record. I consider us equals
:smile: I haven't even been online in 21 hours, and you still can't kill it! :smile: ( I still don't have proper internet access from home...I can't get the DSL I was waiting for...I must live too far in the middle of nowhere...so now I'm waiting for my cable to be installed, which is also taking forever, so I can get cable internet).
 
  • #8,205
Well you can always attach the WiFi repeaters on the cows and a central dish somewhere in the middle of corn fields :biggrin:
 
  • #8,206
cronxeh said:
Well you can always attach the WiFi repeaters on the cows and a central dish somewhere in the middle of corn fields :biggrin:
:smile: No corn fields, just cows (oh, and noticed during the week that there are lots of calves out there too...veal anyone? :devil: Well, they are black angus.)
 
  • #8,207
Franzbear, are you getting bored by all this chit chat? Let's go and try kite surfing! Doesn't that sound like fun :biggrin: Here's your kite...Uuff...Huuuurraugh...Ufff... :rolleyes: Can you give me a hand with this franzbear? It's a little heavy.

Why is the kite so heavy... :rolleyes: ...No wind yet and the sheets of lead won't fly without wind :rolleyes: :smile:

Here are your new swim trunks...Uuff...Huuuurraugh...Ufff... :rolleyes: Can you give me a hand with this also franzbear?

What's that? Why are they so heavy too? Because they're made of cast iron of course, you silly boy. :biggrin:

Why are they made of cast iron? :rolleyes: It's a material that resists salt water really well. :rolleyes: :approve:

Now here's your chain to attach your kite to the surf board...Uuff...Huuuurraugh...Ufff... What? It's a chain, of course it's heavy.

Why chain? :rolleyes: I want to make sure it stays attached :rolleyes: Yeah that's the ticket. :approve:

Let's launch you from the pier. Why from the pier? :rolleyes: More wind out there where the water is deepest. :rolleyes: :smile: What's that? Where is your surf board? :smile: :smile: :smile: Trust me you won't need one. :biggrin: :devil:

Ready okay jump!

<SPLASH!>

BlubbloopBlubbloopBlub
 
  • #8,208
Franzbear, you're going to learn a musical insturment. But which one...I know the killaphone! I knwo you never heard of it, only torture victims play it.

wrap that around your torso, yes, that happens, here's a pad to wipe the blood. now, put your finger through that, out there, and onto that. Stick this down your throaght, put your lips like that, and, you're ready! let's hear Wolfgang amadeas Mozart's 'Moonlight Sonata'

EEEKK! Squeak! SQWAK! EEE! AAA! ERRR!

that was...um...pretty good :redface: tomorow-- oh, the bleeding's normal, and yess, your internal organs will hemmorhage for awhile. tomorrow, advanced beethoven!
 
  • #8,209
yomamma said:
Franzbear, you're going to learn a musical insturment. But which one...I know the killaphone! I knwo you never heard of it, only torture victims play it...

...that was...um...pretty good :redface: tomorow-- oh, the bleeding's normal, and yess, your internal organs will hemmorhage for awhile. tomorrow, advanced beethoven!
Freebird jam! :biggrin:
 
  • #8,210
I'm always so happy to see Franzbear spending time with his Uncle Artman and Best Buddy Yomamma! :approve: :smile:

Franzbear, your Uncle Artman told me your cast iron swim trunks were chafing a bit, so I got you a present...a body suit. It's made of lead sheets, so will bend to the shape of your body a bit better and be more comfortable. Don't worry, we got a short-sleeved version so you can still reach out and pet the sharks. I know how much you enjoy doing that. After your killophone lesson, you should have plenty of sharks to pet next time you go swimming. :approve:
 
  • #8,211
yomamma said:
I thought I was his cousin. He's already learned to play mary had a little lamb... :redface:
I though he was learning, Mary lost her little limb? :-p
 
  • #8,212
Artman said:
I though he was learning, Mary lost her little limb? :-p
:smile: :smile:
 
  • #8,213
http://carboninside.com/dohh.JPG

Doh!
 
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  • #8,214
9 hours for me, not bad

I KILLED THE THREAD FOR NINE HOURS O.O
 
  • #8,215
Franzbear just got back from a killaphone lesson. I got a tutor. He's an ex-convict, satanic, and has severe epileptic seisures every 10 minutes, but he's pretty okay. :smile:
 
  • #8,216
yomamma said:
Franzbear just got back from a killaphone lesson. I got a tutor. He's an ex-convict, satanic, and has severe epileptic seisures every 10 minutes, but he's pretty okay. :smile:
Oh, that's good. Franzbear needs to meet more people. I wouldn't want him to be too sheltered.
 
  • #8,217
OMG, cronxeh! :smile: Good one! :smile:
 
  • #8,218
:smile: :smile: If you want to ignore yourself, imagine how the rest of us feel! :biggrin: :devil: :smile: :-p
 
  • #8,219
Wow... Franzbear is getting quite close to 10,000 posts. Will he be able to go peacefully after that you think?
 
  • #8,220
pfft! no! are you mad?!
 
  • #8,221
He'd be a lot closer to 10,000 if a lot hadn't been deleted. :biggrin:

I fixed my internet connection problem though! Yay! It dawned on me that it might be interference with a neighbor's wireless (their wireless network shows up in my menu from time to time) and not the servers or dialing in long-distance, so tried connecting with a tether (aka- phone cord). Everything was back to my usual speed, so I learned I can change the channel on my airport...something new to me...and I did that and fixed the problem! Yay!

I'm BAAAAAAAAAAACK!
 
  • #8,222
YAY!

crap, there goes my attemt to kill franzbear

Well, I took franzbear to see his father, who was drunk on a couch. Bu he really liked franz's killophone playing. He was going to set up for haloween, and the blood he gathered was just delightful!

I hate my mouse :forwn:
 
  • #8,223
yomamma said:
YAY!

crap, there goes my attemt to kill franzbear
:smile: :devil:

Well, I took franzbear to see his father, who was drunk on a couch. Bu he really liked franz's killophone playing. He was going to set up for haloween, and the blood he gathered was just delightful!
Where is that bum of a father of his?!

I hate my mouse :forwn:
You might need a new keyboard too...yours keeps typing the wrong letters. :biggrin: :smile: :-p
 
  • #8,224
Moonbear said:
Where is that bum of a father of his?!
Franzneitzche has been trveling. from the couch to the refrigerator.I don't think he's coming back, he's had 3 more thread children. he's also been married to these people:

:blushing: :zzz:
 
  • #8,225
Artman said:
Geez, some people just don't trust anyone.





I wonder why? :-p
:smile:

Oh, Franzbear, look at all the pins your step-Daddy Zz brought back for you! Why don't you wear a few of them? Hmm...there do seem to be a lot of them, how will you ever decide? Wait, I have an idea! Let's take the backs off all of them and we'll throw all the pins here on your bed. Okay, now just roll around on them and whichever ones stick, you can wear. :approve:
 

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