Thread Killer Champions: Franzbear & Moonbear

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In summary, Franzbear is the most prolific thread killer in the forum. He has killed at least 12 threads and is likely responsible for 21 more. His ability to kill threads is not a direct outcome of the evidence (number of last posts). You have to at least factor in the total number of posts by each person (posts in GD) to get a more accurate representation of the killer instinct. Franz and Moonie have so many posts here, they are more likely to be the winning killers. You have to divide the number of kills by the total number of posts during the same period to get a corrected distribution.
  • #1,961
BicycleTree said:
Doubt all you like but I read in one of the IgNobel books about a couple guys who like to start barbecues... fast. They put in the briquettes, toss on a lighted match, and blast it with liquid oxygen. Total time to a cheerfully roaring (if someone melted) grill: less than three seconds.


Oh i wasn't doubting that oxygen would be more effective than gas.

I was doubting that wood burning would be exothermic enough to overcome just how cold liquid oxygen is.
 
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  • #1,962
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  • #1,963
Oxygen doesn't burn itself, it just helps a fire burn faster. Hmm...wonder what would happen if we dumped a mixture of gasoline, ether and oxygen onto the burning thread. :rolleyes: Bicycle Tree, you do it, I'm going to stand back here behind this reflective, asbestos-covered, 6 foot thick concrete wall where I have a welder's helmet and firesuit to wear. :biggrin: :devil:
 
  • #1,964
That Site said:
If charcoal is PRESOAKED in LOX first, an explosion will result. One briquette presoaked in LOX is approx equiv to 1 stick of dynamite.
Here goes... (douses thread with water). Now... oxygen first... let that seep in there... now gasoline and ether mixture...
(goes behind wall and hands Moonbear unlit match)
Your turn.
 
  • #1,965
BicycleTree said:
Here goes... (douses thread with water). Now... oxygen first... let that seep in there... now gasoline and ether mixture...
(goes behind wall and hands Moonbear unlit match)
Your turn.

Oh, no, I couldn't. The oxygen was your idea, and you've done all that hard work, I couldn't steal your glory now. You go ahead and do the honors. *hands match back to Bicycle Tree*
 
  • #1,966
*lights match, puts it midway between wall and thread, gets behind wall* Here, thread! Come here boy!
 
  • #1,967
BicycleTree said:
*lights match, puts it midway between wall and thread, gets behind wall* Here, thread! Come here boy!

Darn safey matches! It went out already. How about a new plan. Let's just turn out the lights, wait for Artman or franz to come in and ask one of them to light candles so we can see in here. :devil:

Wait, the lights are still on! *runs and ducks for cover as the ether vapors waft up to the lights*

KABOOOOOOOOM BLAMMMM!​
 
  • #1,968
Is everyone ok?
 
  • #1,969
mattmns said:
Is everyone ok?
Say what? Speak up sonny!
 
  • #1,970
hmm, I think I am going to start learning french online, from random websites, the right way to learn a language.
 
  • #1,971
nevermind, german would probably be more useful
 
  • #1,972
mattmns said:
Is everyone ok?

Unfortunately, yes, everyone including the thread it seems. :cry:
 
  • #1,973
Hmm, I guess my weird comments did not kill the thread, Danger is gone though.
 
  • #1,974
mattmns said:
Hmm, I guess my weird comments did not kill the thread, Danger is gone though.

Haven't you learned from watching Bicycle Tree take this approach that it just doesn't work?
 
  • #1,975
mattmns said:
Danger is gone though.
Gone? I think not. Merely in stealth mode whilst I scout the environment. :approve:
 
  • #1,976
Danger said:
Gone? I think not. Merely in stealth mode whilst I scout the environment. :approve:

Not stealthy enough it seems.
 
  • #1,977
Moonbear said:
Not stealthy enough it seems.
Yeah, I know. :frown: I tried using white text, but I couldn't hear myself think.
 
  • #1,978
Danger said:
Yeah, I know. :frown: I tried using white text, but I couldn't hear myself think.

It wouldn't have mattered. The glow of the cigarette tip and the cloud of smoke floating above you give away your position pretty easily.

Hmm...I'm mentally going over the list of ways to kill a thread, and trying to figure out what we've missed so far. Have we tried electrocuting the thread yet?

*Picks up jumper cables. Taps the tips together to make them arc dramatically.*
 
  • #1,979
Moonbear said:
Haven't you learned from watching Bicycle Tree take this approach that it just doesn't work?
Yes, it does work. Bitter though it may make you. If you don't have any easy ways out, it is a sure way, almost the only sure way, to kill a thread, or in general any conversation: make it physically and mentally unsettling for people to keep reading.
 
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  • #1,980
BicycleTree said:
Yes, it does work. Bitter though it may make you. If you don't have any easy ways out, it is a sure way, almost the only sure way, to kill a thread, or in general any conversation: make it physically and mentally unpleasant for people to keep reading.

It'll kill other threads, but this thread is cut from a different cloth.
 
  • #1,981
Moonbear said:
*Picks up jumper cables. Taps the tips together to make them arc dramatically.*
Careful with those! If one of them touches that electric bra, it'll overload the whole system and toast your ta-ta's! I like 'em sunny-side up, not flambe! :eek:
 
  • #1,982
Danger said:
Careful with those! If one of them touches that electric bra, it'll overload the whole system and toast your ta-ta's! I like 'em sunny-side up, not flambe! :eek:

Ouch, ouch, owweeeeeeee!

I'm starting to think this electric bra is more trouble than it's worth. I think I just need to find someone with warm hands. :biggrin:
 
  • #1,983
Moonbear said:
I just need to find someone with warm hands. :biggrin:
Just when I was starting to think that those bottles of exothermic hand lotion were a waste of money... :biggrin:
 
  • #1,984
Danger said:
Just when I was starting to think that those bottles of exothermic hand lotion were a waste of money... :biggrin:

They're hand lotion? :rolleyes: :redface:
 
  • #1,985
Moonbear said:
It'll kill other threads, but this thread is cut from a different cloth.
It would have killed this thread too, if not for certain unjust interference that need not be mentioned.
 
  • #1,986
Moonbear said:
They're hand lotion? :rolleyes: :redface:
'Fraid so, honey. That heat you're feeling isn't just hormones.
 
  • #1,987
Danger said:
'Fraid so, honey. That heat you're feeling isn't just hormones.

Yeah, but are you sure it's just for hands? :rolleyes: I may have, um, uh... :redface: ...nevermind.
 
  • #1,988
Moonbear said:
Yeah, but are you sure it's just for hands? :rolleyes: I may have, um, uh... :redface: ...nevermind.
I know that you don't really mean what that sounds like, so you have no reason to be concerned by their tendency to explode on contact with Canestan... :rolleyes:
 
  • #1,989
Danger said:
I know that you don't really mean what that sounds like, so you have no reason to be concerned by their tendency to explode on contact with Canestan... :rolleyes:

I had to look up what Canesten is (we have different brand names here). Not really what I was hoping for. :rolleyes:
 
  • #1,990
Moonbear said:
I had to look up what Canesten is (we have different brand names here).
Yeah, I ran into that with the little fiasco about Evo's computer.:redface:

Moonbear said:
Not really what I was hoping for. :rolleyes:

Sorry... it's the least offensive thing that I could think of and still have the joke work. :frown:
 
  • #1,991
Danger said:
Yeah, I ran into that with the little fiasco about Evo's computer.:redface:

:bugeye: Just what were you doing with Evo's computer to need that?!
 
  • #1,992
Moonbear said:
:bugeye: Just what were you doing with Evo's computer to need that?!
It's not my fault! The hatch said 'hard drive access'. :redface:

The 'misleading labelling' watchdogs are going to hear about this.
 
  • #1,993
Danger said:
It's not my fault! The hatch said 'hard drive access'. :redface:

The 'misleading labelling' watchdogs are going to hear about this.

Sounds kind of painful. :-p
 
  • #1,994
Moonbear said:
Darn safey matches! It went out already. How about a new plan. Let's just turn out the lights, wait for Artman or franz to come in and ask one of them to light candles so we can see in here. :devil:
Uh huh. Like I wouldn't have smelled the gasoline and spotted the empty storage containers for the LOX and the ether.

...What's this over here? Looks like a plug out of the outlet...

<bends down and plugs in outlet>


BLAM! KABLOOOY! POW!








I guess I shouldn't a done that...
 
  • #1,995
Moonbear said:
Sounds kind of painful.
No kidding. Now I've got a 3 1/2" floppy instead... :blushing:
Artman said:
BLAM! KABLOOOY! POW!
Surely you exaggerate...
 

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