What do 'nerdy' guys like in girls?

[Loess]

Thanks netgypsy, your response is much appreciated. It's funny I liked him initially because he was geeky and I thought he might be pretty useless with women. i kind of thought it was sweet and endearing and he might appreciate me. You are completely right if he doesn't recognise my potential he's not worth knowing. He was a bit 'old before his time' and a bit negative anyway haha, his loss. Thanks again!

 

[netgypsy]

Sometime what you see IS what you get - useless with women hahaha

 

[nazarbaz]

This topic is polluted by a monogamistic bias... Nerds are very romantic...
They spend too much time on rationalizations... Love is so mysterious that we could be engaged in very unprobable relations... You can love something in a girl and quite the opposite in another at the same time...
I don't know if it's wise or crazy but I love everything in women... I have no criticism at all about them and no preference of any kind... The only thing to save in mankind... The crux is the fragile alchemy you can achieve with your girl (or girls ), not her hypothetical nature...

 

[ihatesnakes]

you sound like you are interested in many things Loess, so like you said: his loss! you have a great attitude, good for you.

fiiine Dave, I won’t cuss, sorry about that. I spend too much time with fishermen and sailors. I didn’t insult or direct the cussing at anyone though, and some people on this thread have been pretty mean talking about others. oh wait! they used big educated words so it’s alright. and about sexual words being obscene, I don’t quite get that. I will however comply with the PF rules and I apologize again. specially for the spelling cause I have to admit, I hadn't read the rules.

anyways, I asked my dork of a boyfriend the question of the thread, but our conversation got cut off so more will follow. so far here’s his input, for all you girls who, like me, have a thing for nerds:

HIM: intelligence

ME: please sir, do elaborate

HIM: well…I was once at a friend’s birthday and someone introduced me to a very cute girl. she was sweet, polite, had a masters’…

ME: hey! I don’t have a masters’. If that’s a requisite for you, how come I got a free pass?

HIM: shhh. be quiet woman! do you want me to tell you the story or not?

ME: zzzip

HIM: we spent all day talking, and I was crushing on her more and more, trying my hardest to work up the courage to ask her on a date. but then we got on the subject of the differences between grad school and undergrad and I mentioned my home state, and she said “oh! yeah, I’ve heard of it. where is it exactly?”. needless to say I lost all interest in her the next second, cause I can’t date a girl with a masters’ who can’t find every single state of the U.S. on a map. I would always be thinking she’s a moron. that’s what I mean by intelligent: being well-rounded according to the resources you have, someone who can hold a conversation on a large array of topics, etc.

ME: what else?

HIM: physical attractiveness

ME: duh!

HIM: I’ve always had a thing for dark curly hair. other than that, the usual; not too fat, not too skinny

ME: describe your ideal beautiful woman

HIM: a cross between Shakira and Ariel, from the little mermaid. with the personality of Lisa Simpson

ME: geez, every guy I grew up with still has a crush on Ariel too

HIM: that was one awesome seashell bra. she’s the princess Leia of our generation

ME: keep going, but be specific. think also of things your friends have said, since they’re all nerdy as well

HIM: I’ll tell you what I, and I imagine guys like me would say too, don’t like in girls: makeup, rudeness, loudness, obnoxiousness. I could not date a religious girl cause I’m an atheist and I would be thinking in the back of my head she might as well be a tarot card reader. I CAN NOT deal with high maintenance personalities, material or emotional. shy girls catch my attention.

ME: oye! so let me get this straight: I only have an undergrad in biology. I have black curly hair, but your ideal woman does not. I wear makeup if I go dancing, I’m loud, always high on coffee so I’m sure I’m obnoxious all day, I can’t shake off the catholic thing cause it’s been drilled into my head. and about shyness, do you remember how I proclaimed my love for you?(that’s on a post a while back)

HIM: do you remember how I reacted?

ME: yes. You stared blankly at me and continued talking about your paper

HIM: yeah, cause it was impertinent and awkward

ME: I still don’t get that concept, awkward. there’s no word for it in spanish. but anyway, what the hell do you like about me then? why are you with me?

HIM: I’m a physics PhD student! I’ve been doing experiments since I was a kid!

yes jaja, I fell off my chair dying laughing :!):!):!)

 

[netgypsy]

Too many nerds don't see women as people. Guys who are the most successful with women just really like them. (nazarbaz are you sure you haven't been reading John D, McDonald??) These guys can be "homely", poor and not particularly great physical specimens but they are generally well groomed, polite, funny, likeable, cute and respectful but strong in spirit. Like dogs and cats, women know a good guy when they meet one. If they have good sense they grab him. Only women with issues like TRUE bad boys. But a woman does appreciate a guy who can smack down a mugger if he grabs her purse and runs with it. That is, if she hasn't already done so. hahaha

Great dialogue - thanks. Nerds really like hot girls by the way and the degree of stupidity they will tolerate is proportional to the heat factor so if you're dumb you'd better be scorching hot or forget dating a nerd. (The same is true for nerdettes too - the guy better be really really hot if he's not too bright)

 

[ihatesnakes]

oh wow netgypsy, what you said about it being the same as dogs. never thought about falling inlove like that before but it's the way to explain it that makes the most sense to me!

 

[DaveC426913]

Like dogs and cats, women know a good guy when they meet one.

...being the same as dogs...

: Hunts desperately around for FlexGunship's "I'm Outta Here" pic :

 

[DaveC426913]

Ah! There it is!

 

[netgypsy]

awkward - makes you feel uncomfortable, you don't know how to respond in an awkward situation.

love and attraction are very intuitive. The man, woman, just makes you feel good. I bet it's a dopamine response.

Cats love to climb into the laps of people who dislike them and are afraid of them but true cat people know when a cat likes them, and most do. Dogs sense kindness, strength and confidence - marks of a good alpha leader.

 

[netgypsy]

Our ladies in the family had to weigh in on the PhD nerd's comments on "no makeup". This is the biggest load of manure they say they're ever heard. You look at all the women nerds date and 99% of them wear makeup. No they don't like it put on with a palate knife but no matter how great a woman looks, a little makeup will make her look even better.

And you'll also hear them say "We like our women natural" HOGWASH They like their women to look good and natural is not particularly good. How about a missing front tooth guys.

So ladies - forget this bunch of garbage these guys SAY they like and wear an appropriate amount of makeup for the occasion and fix what needs to be fixed so you LOOK natural and good at the same time. (And don't tell me that guys in the US at least actually LIKE that mustache their girlfriend has if she's dumb enough not to get rid of it)

 

[DaveC426913]

What astonishes me about this entire thread is how people here are able to speak for all nerds.

For example: "...look at all the women nerds date and 99% of them wear makeup".

Are there weekly meetings of nerds where we all gather and come to a unanimous consensus about what all nerds like? Do we have business cards that identify the official nerds from the rest of society?

I am only a white belt nerd, so humbly, I can only speak for my own tastes and actions.

 

[netgypsy]

Several of our ladies are very old and have degrees in nerdy fields so spent numerous hours listening to nerds in engineering and physics study lounges. They say nothing has changed since they were in school a million years ago. The no makeup and look natural thing is pretty much male in general but nerds tend to be a bit more emphatic about it. Ignore it ladies. Nerds like good looking women who LOOK natural and not made up, not those that really ARE natural and not made up. (Of course we are excluding those men and women who are born gorgeous SIGH)

And of course there are exceptions thank goodness. One of our older male nerds has always told his lady nerd that what ever she chooses to wear, whatever makeup, hair color, always looks great. VERY smart man.

 

[ihatesnakes]

awkward - makes you feel uncomfortable, you don't know how to respond in an awkward situation.

thanks netgypsy. I know it's synonyms, but there seems to be an additional shade to it I don't quite grasp. for example, I understand an awkward situation, but when people describe a person as being awkward, I think I get the right mental picture but I'm not sure. yeah, off topic, I'll eventually get it some day.

 

[ihatesnakes]

sorry sorry for not quoteing right

 

[nazarbaz]

Too many nerds don't see women as people. Guys who are the most successful with women just really like them. (nazarbaz are you sure you haven't been reading John D, McDonald??) These guys can be "homely", poor and not particularly great physical specimens but they are generally well groomed, polite, funny, likeable, cute and respectful but strong in spirit. Like dogs and cats, women know a good guy when they meet one. If they have good sense they grab him. Only women with issues like TRUE bad boys. But a woman does appreciate a guy who can smack down a mugger if he grabs her purse and runs with it. That is, if she hasn't already done so. hahaha

Great dialogue - thanks. Nerds really like hot girls by the way and the degree of stupidity they will tolerate is proportional to the heat factor so if you're dumb you'd better be scorching hot or forget dating a nerd. (The same is true for nerdettes too - the guy better be really really hot if he's not too bright)

Never heard of him... I live in Paris and my english is still improving...
I find a bit odd the emphasis on "good looking girls"... Most vomen are beautiful if you know how and when looking at them... Maybe it's a talent though... I lived most of my aesthetical climax moments with girls who aren't so pretty according to normal standards... Some are still haunting me to the extent that I feel the need to draw or paint them sometimes, even if I'm not that good at it...
Women's are beautiful... End of line...

 

[netgypsy]

An awkward person is physically or socially clumsy. They lack confidence. They say the wrong thing at the wrong time. A lot of nerds are socially awkward, in many cases because they really don't try. And many don't try because they think they won't be successful so why bother. Most do grow out of it.

Our nerdy old couple will tell you neither would have dated the other in high school (NOOO WAYY) but by the senior year in college both had morphed into very different people. So awkward is generally temporary. Thank goodness.

 

[DaveC426913]

I find a bit odd the emphasis on "good looking girls"... Most vomen are beautiful if you know how and when looking at them... Maybe it's a talent though... I lived most of my aesthetical climax moments with girls who aren't so pretty according to normal standards... Some are still haunting me to the extent that I feel the need to draw or paint them sometimes, even if I'm not that good at it...
Women's are beautiful... End of line...

A friend of mine once said:

If you tell a girl she's pretty, even if she isn't, the smile on her face will make her so.

 

[netgypsy]

A friend of mine once said:

If you tell a girl she's pretty, even if she isn't, the smile on her face will make her so.

John D. McDonald writes action adventure books that are fairly easy to read and entertaining. The hero really likes women but the ones he falls in love with are generally killed in the book, so he can have another romantic encounter in the next book. He would say something like the quote.

Anyone heard the story of the 10 cow wife (it might have been 12)??

A young man was very much in love with a young woman who was fairly ordinary in appearance. He went to her father to ask for her hand in marriage. The father thought he'd be lucky to get two cows in dowry for her as there were many other women in their village who were much prettier. Imagine his surprise when the young man offered 10 cows for her. The father was astonished but of course he agreed and they were happily married. Five years later the story teller went to see the young man who had become very wealthy and wide loved and respected. He was greeted at the door by a beautiful self confidant young woman. Yes it was the rather plain young woman he had married. When a man thinks the woman he loves and who loves him is beautiful, that's what she becomes.

But remember that when a young woman takes the time and effort to look nice for someone special and he reciprocates, it is telling both that they are important enough to look their best for. This is what "nice looking" means - worth going to the trouble to look nice for. And in a marriage, when either spouse stops doing this they are sending a message that they are either too exhausted and stressed out or they don't care any more. Either way the other partner needs to find out what's happening and fix it.

 

[nazarbaz]

The most precious beauty is the one we reveal...

 

[DaveC426913]

The most precious beauty is the one we reveal...

As turns out this is not always true, as evidenced by my probation officer and this ankle bracelet.

 

[nazarbaz]

As turns out this is not always true, as evidenced by my probation officer and this ankle bracelet.

That's cute... For me, there is no such things as an ugly girl or a hierarchy of beauties... Of course, this is the last thing I can say to a woman...
Sometimes when it's very early in the morning, and you got to the bottom of a good bottle of wine after a very good night, something happens in the face and body of a woman that is indescribable... When you don't know if she's smiling or crying while she's looking strait at you... That's the only moment I let my judgment talk...

 

[ihatesnakes]

so my love got back to me on the subject. we talked about minimum standards, dealbreakers and such when you're 1st getting to know someone. I'm sure a lot of you are familiar with the xkcd comics. he said since he saw this one:

when he liked a girl or managed to get a date he would always ask them
"do you label your axes?"

 

[ihatesnakes]

I don't remember, but he says he also asked me if I label my axes at one point, and I responded something like "yes I do. I can be pretty stupid when it comes to graphs, so labeling the axes conforts me since it's the easiest part about plotting".

he says I ended up passing his test not so much for answering yes, but because I didn't seem to find his random question weird. this is a guy who is a stereotypical nerd when it comes to girls, so he's a bit paranoid about women finding him weird. once again, just being relaxed will do wonders.

cheers!

 

[DaveC426913]

You posted the image correctly; there is a spurious forward slash in the actual URL, preventing the image from showing.

Here is the URL to the comic page, where you can pick up the obligatory rollover text:

And if you labeled your axes, I could tell exactly how MUCH better.

 

[ihatesnakes]

thanks Dave, you lifesaver you

 

[netgypsy]

LOVE it

 

[KingNothing]

I doubt it can be safely generalized. Personally I am kind of vain and want someone who is beautiful.

 

[netgypsy]

You're right and wrong about the generalizations. Each guy/girl has different taste in what is attractive. But there are generalities that hold true for all relationships. Anyone can be beautiful/good looking. (Stupid is forever.) The alarm bells ring when a guy or girl knows that their SO appreciates good looks a lot yet they still go around looking like a bum all the time, anywhere and everywhere.

Most of my nerdy male friends prefer hot over beautiful.

 

[Shaikhob]

This thread made my day, and killed time while I was sitting my my gen Ed classs (waste of time). For me although I like girls who I can spend time with and hold a good conversation or in general have a good time. The girl may be hot but if there's nothing in her head, I won't be able to stand her for a very long time which translate over to a few seconds.

 

[Loess]

I agree with Shaikhob that the person needs to have something in their head. People have different types of intelligence, some may have not done the 'time' working towards a degree, masters etc. I hope I'm not defined just by my qualifications. My ex boyfriend going back some years is an accomplished musician in two instruments, he doesn't have a degree . I respect him for his talents, hard work and his potential. I'm signing up for an astrophysics masters this year. I'm not sure he understands why I love planetary sciences but I think he still respected me for my hard work.

 

[netgypsy]

And generally nerdy guys find smart girls hot.

 

[Shaikhob]

Planetary science. sounds like so much fun.

My problems is that most girls I like I end up being friends with, only problem is that I never have the courage to tell them I like them or want to ruin the relationship >.<

 

[netgypsy]

If the girl likes you in return there will be different body language, type of smile, and she'll laugh at nearly anything you say - dumb or not. Just look for the cues and when you see them, ask her to go grab a burger, coffee, tea, picnic, whatever you already know she likes. So she turns you down. Guys get turned down. Be "clean", smell good, be friendly, stay fit and trim, deal with acne missing teeth if you have them, it takes work to be attractive but anyone can do it. Yes if you have a wart on the end of your nose you get taken off. Look in the mirror and fix what you don't like. You don't have to look like a body builder but it doesn't hurt at all to be fit. If you smoke, stop. Don't chew tobacco. It's not even attractive in baseball players and cowboys. Healthy is attractive and smart is even more attractive. NERDS RULE! (You've heard the old saying to high school kids - BE NICE TO NERDS - you'll probably work for one someday)

 

[Zoro]

Good day friends! I beg your pardon me for my English. I live in Central Asia. And just learning English. What is attractive in a quiet brake guys? Perhaps not even the fact of their isolation, and Ping. And most of their modesty, the imaginary, the possible intelegentnost. Reliability. Who are any of you guys are offended brake? And they made you sick? They have ever laughed at you after love. The topic was asked to speak not about sex. So let the love I mean romance, festivities in the moonlight, and so on.
Such cases are much smaller than the cowboy who makes fun of his ex, or humiliates her in front of friends. ;-)
More races will forgive me for the English, and for the fact that maybe my thoughts are hard to understand ...

 

[netgypsy]

Welcome zoro to a great and very international forum and a great place to practice your English. I have lived in a country that spoke a language that I did not speak or understand and I had a very difficult time but people were very helpful.

The question is asking what kind of woman the quiet studious guy likes, not the reverse. But by talking about the ways of the quiet guy you also give the type of woman the quiet guy likes. A woman who is intelligent, has a good sense of humor, is kind and romantic.

Come back again please. We thank you for sharing your ideas.

(You are misusing the word "brake" and I'm not sure what characteristic you mean for it to describe.)

Thank you again.