What Do You Do If You Were a Rock Star?

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by firefly
What do you do if you suddenly find that all your vocal emissions sound like a dog-bark, everyone else sounds like pigs grunting, and they seem to understand each other... but not you?

Use your dog voice (and flatulence) to round up the little 'porkers', and sell them off for Bacon, take that money, and go see a plastic surgeon to have your voice restored...

What do you do if, while having your voice restored at the plastic surgeons, they slip up, and it results in you having a voice that can only produce "Bird Chirping" sounds that make you sound just like the first Robin Of The Spring?

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if, while having your voice restored at the plastic surgeons, they slip up, and it results in you having a voice that can only produce "Bird Chirping" sounds that make you sound just like the first Robin Of The Spring?

This could never happen, as the first Robin Of The Spring can be none other than our inimitable Mr. Parsons so any "Bird Chirping" sounds could at best approach a scanty approximation.

What do you do if, while singing Seasons In the Sun", you notice summ-er out of place when spring falls early and you are left with only a long bleak winter?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by firefly
What do you do if, while singing Seasons In the Sun", you notice summ-er out of place when spring falls early and you are left with only a long bleak winter?

Call me! so I can do some "First Robin of the Spring, Bird Chirpin" for you, and cheer you up!

What do you do if the sounds of MRP 'chirpin' don't cheer you up?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if the sounds of MRP 'chirpin' don't cheer you up?

It's funny you should ask that quetion, because once when I was enjoying a demi-tasse of café laced with a measure of ƒireƒly's "Gastroluminescnt" Pure Molasses Rum™ at one of the out door tables at the Café du Lapin Dormant I noticed the little robins begging for bits of croissant and madeleines from the customers looked rather thirsty as well, so I ordered a shot glass of Parson's® Sparkling Aged Vodka for each and every one of them (30 or 40) and had the garçon set them down on the tile where they could reach them.
Once they'd finished, they began dancing in a merry fashion that amused all to no end. They were applauded. Some even stood. It was a damned strange afternoon.What do you do if, having introduced a flock of robins to the delights of spiritus frumenti, they begin to follow you where ever you go, chirping for more?

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if, having introduced a flock of robins to the delights of spiritus frumenti, they begin to follow you where ever you go, chirping for more?

I suspect your new following might have more to do with your sunny signature than your gifted spirit. Your prospects for change are excellent at this juncture...

What do you do if a sun sign is following you around?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by firefly
What do you do if a sun sign is following you around?

Chase the Moon!

What do you do if the Moon is your Sunsign?

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if the Moon is your Sunsign?

You lead a life of lunacy, lit by the stars.

What do you do if the Signs seem to lead you know where only to leave you in despair?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by firefly
What do you do if the Signs seem to lead you know where only to leave you in despair?

given that "Know" where is a place of obvious "know"ledge I would derive from whatever of the "know"ledge(bookshelf) that was there, in "know" where(?), and figure out how to divest myself of any, and all, dispair...disparegments, dispersals, disperrs...er, uhmmm, dis'disesperairdis IDAKNOW!

What do you do if once divested of you dispair, you come across a woman, of whom you are meant to ask a question, thereof, yet, you are not allowed to speak, as condition of the divesting of the dispair, so what do you ask?

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if once divested of you dispair, you come across a woman, of whom you are meant to ask a question, thereof, yet, you are not allowed to speak, as condition of the divesting of the dispair, so what do you ask?

If you can dodge your désespoir, you'll ask of her what you desire, but if you're acting sensibly, you'll ask her how she is, simply.

What do you do if your sense of sensibility is questioned but all the answers you think of are too far-fetched?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by fi/fly
What do you do if your sense of sensibility is questioned but all the answers you think of are too far-fetched?

Use your common sense to take the "far fetched" and make it near fetching, all the rest follows, of it's own accord...

What do you do if your accord, doesn't?

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if your accord, doesn't?

Ionize it and learn to play it.

What do you do if you want to go to th'loo, in an English country garden?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by firefly
What do you do if you want to go to th'loo, in an English country garden?

"Skip to the Loo, my dar'lin..."

What do yo do if you need to "Skip to the Loo, my dar'lin, and you don't know how to Skip!??

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do yo do if you need to "Skip to the Loo, my dar'lin, and you don't know how to Skip!??

Hire a bulldozer to haul you to the loo.

What do you do if you're floating face up in a canal in Amsterdam with a meercat riding on your stomach, wearing two left shoes, the right one untied, the wrong one also untied, you remark to the meercat that "The right is wrong!" only to have it retort, "No, the right is left!" ?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if you're floating face up in a canal in Amsterdam with a meercat riding on your stomach, wearing two left shoes, the right one untied, the wrong one also untied, you remark to the meercat that "The right is wrong!" only to have it retort, "No, the right is left!" ?

Roll over, for if after that you cannot figure out if you 'left off the right' or had it 'right, when left', then breath very deeply,... "You are getting sleepy...watch the spinnnnning disc, shiny disc...(Insert sound, of you, sleeping/and perhaps drowning, in that canal)"

What do you do if you don't know what sound you make, while you sleep?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons clearly in the throes of some unexplained, not-so-very-unconscious hostility
(Insert sound, of you, sleeping/and perhaps drowning, in that canal)"

What do you do if you don't know what sound you make, while you sleep?

I don't think I'll be risking much sleep at all till this interesting mood you're in passes. What do you do if a crazed Canadian intellectual seems to have confused you with his true nemesis, the Prime Minister of Canada?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if a crazed Canadian intellectual seems to have confused you with his true nemesis, the Prime Minister of Canada?

Nicest thing about 'labels' is that you can switch the product underneath them, and still call them the same thing, now about this crazed Canadian intellectual thingy who the heck ever told you I was an intellectual, how dare you go around spreading such clearly false, and abusive, misappropriations of my Internet Personnnnna, explain yourself Sir, or face the Duel Du Duels Du deUx...twice!

What do you do if a, Now truly Crazed Frenchman wants your REAL NAME!??

 

[megashawn]

RUN!

What do you do if your running from a truly crazed frenchmen?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by megashawn
What do you do if your running from a truly crazed frenchmen?

Say "Mon Nom est.._________" (and make certain you fill in that blank with your real name or else you will have several Angry FrenchMen after your name, and fortune, and reputation, and anything/everything else I can think of...later...)

What do you do now that you have Several angry French Men chasing you?

 

[Messiah]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons

What do you do now that you have Several angry French Men chasing you?

Nothing. Look at them crossly and they will surrender and sue for peace.

Now what do you do if you have several hungry French WOMEN chasing you??

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Messiah
Now what do you do if you have several hungry French WOMEN chasing you??

Surrender, willingly!

What do you do if you are now at the willing behest of several Hungry young French Women, sitting at "Le Cafe du Lapin Dormant" eating "Les Huites du Prairie Canadien" Sauced from "La pluie D'or, du Transport" (doesn't everything sound so yummy, in French) and they want to take you back to "l'Appartement" to 'cook' for you...?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if you are now at the willing behest of several Hungry young French Women, sitting at "Le Cafe du Lapin Dormant" eating "Les Huitres du Prairie Canadienne" Sauced from "La pluie D'or, du Transport" I can't believe you wrote this(doesn't everything sound so yummy, in French) and they want to take you back to "l'Appartement" to 'cook' for you...?

Just remember the Twilight Zone:
"That book, To Serve Man; IT"S COOK BOOK!"What do you do if you find yourself bound and gagged while several women pour over the recipe for Parson a l'Orange?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by, well, someone who makes enough of his own spelling mistakes as to be a little bit smarter then to be correcting others, before he corrects his own, zoobyshoe
What do you do if you find yourself bound and gagged while several women pour over the recipe for Parson a l'Orange?

I had that! it's delicious!

What do you do if you are not allowed over when the Parsons a L'Orange is ready?


EDIT SCHEPELLING CORECTIONESED from It to it's...ooops SO Sorry Zoob, your poor eyes, having to read such an atrocity of typo'ing

 

[Messiah]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Surrender, willingly!

What do you do if you are now at the willing behest of several Hungry young French Women, sitting at "Le Cafe du Lapin Dormant" eating "Les Huites du Prairie Canadien" Sauced from "La pluie D'or, du Transport" (doesn't everything sound so yummy, in French) and they want to take you back to "l'Appartement" to 'cook' for you...?

Mine or theirs?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Messiah
Mine or theirs?

Ours! obviously!

What do you do when you read a question that you posted, and you don't know that it was you who posted it, never-mind that it makes little sense (as planned) but that you now get to make everyone think that you slightly "nutso" and you still haven't asked your question, properly, so let's go at it agin right, I mean
a-g-a-i-n (soory zoob) so, "What do you do if..Uhmmmm?...you forget the question?"

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
"What do you do if..Uhmmmm?...you forget the question?"

Confabulate vigorously.

What do you do if you are not allowed over when the Parsons a L'Orange is ready?

I do not think I would attend even were I allowed since, given the dietary proclivities evident in that household, an invitation to dinner may merely mean they are lacking a desert.What do you do if you suspect this thread is about to enter a hemiola?

 

[Messiah]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Confabulate vigorously.

I do not think I would attend even were I allowed since, given the dietary proclivities evident in that household, an invitation to dinner may merely mean they are lacking a desert.

They ARE desert

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Messiah
They ARE desert

Hey. Messiah. Answer, then ask. Don't cause a hemiola. There's a rhythm going on here.

 

[Messiah]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Hey. Messiah. Answer, then ask. Don't cause a hemiola. There's a rhythm going on here.

SORRY Still trying to get a Handel on it.

But what would you do if you thought your hemiola was about to be attacked by a hemi-demi-semi quaver?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Messiah
SORRY Still trying to get a Handel on it.

Whoooaaaahhh! I'm impressed. Damn fine save.

But what would you do if you thought your hemiola was about to be attacked by a hemi-demi-semi quaver?

I would give ten extra bonus points to the person who, alone among a sea of physicists, knew what a hemiola was!What do you do if you lack a hemi-demi-semi quaver, but it seems to be playing Hayden seek with you?

 

[Messiah]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Whoooaaaahhh! I'm impressed. Damn fine save.

I would give ten extra bonus points to the person who, alone among a sea of physicists, knew what a hemiola was!


What do you do if you lack a hemi-demi-semi quaver, but it seems to be playing Hayden seek with you?

So, we seem to be getting back to Franz again. What a Surprise

Ok...ok...so what would you do if the Queen ran into the Bear in Paris?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Messiah
Ok...ok...so what would you do if the Queen ran into the Bear in Paris?

Uhmmm follow her inn...and Offer to buy her a drink.

What do you do if the Owner of The Bear doesn't take Masteredcard® © ?

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if the Owner of The Bear doesn't take Masteredcard® © ?

Guess you'll just have to bear with it; patience is a difficult thing to master I know, but once a card is played the game moves on.

What do you do if you see the game as moving onwards and upwards but you are certain the game is still, while whereas you are simply moving backwards and downwards?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by firefly
What do you do if you see the game as moving onwards and upwards but you are certain the game is still, while whereas you are simply moving backwards and downwards?

Turn around and KEEP goin'!

What do yo do if you are starting to type in a language that you are inventin' on the SpoT?

 

[Messiah]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Turn around and KEEP goin'!

What do yo do if you are starting to type in a language that you are inventin' on the SpoT?

ÖÊÃt Ŧ¥¤ ±²³0┤¼ ©Â¾. (LOL)
°xÉÊËäåÄ ëØÖ ÑÛåï?? (no pun intended)

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by Messiah
°xÉÊËäåÄ ëØÖ ÑÛåï?? (no pun intended)

°xÉÊË is not usually combined with the any type of äåÄ as you imply, let alone would make good ëØÖ ÑÛåï although I agree that the latter is a wonderful soup, great when you have a cold (any and all puns intended, if only to allow the statements to take an odd, unexpecting tern (down by the lake, with a shotgun.))

What do you do if you are a member of an unprotective, overproliferated species and morally desensitized species, and you kitty cat gets stuck, all four claws, climbing the screen door?