What Do You Do If You Were a Rock Star?

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by firefly
What do you do if you are a member of an unprotective, overproliferated species and morally desensitized species, and you kitty cat gets stuck, all four claws, climbing the screen door?

Laquer (spray, not brush, too many hairs) then a declaration of "Art Noveaux"!

What do you do if while presenting your "Art Noveaux", the (stupid?) Kitty Cat, reawakens (with/into life #4) stuck to the screen door, by both laquer, and their claws, and it starts howling the tune "Moon River" to the anger of your neighbour, (who would have preferred Au Claire Du La Lune) who then, sends over his wife, to beat you, to a pulp?

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if while presenting your "Art Noveaux", the (stupid?) Kitty Cat, reawakens (with/into life #4) stuck to the screen door, by both laquer, and their claws, and it starts howling the tune "Moon River" to the anger of your neighbour, (who would have preferred Au Claire Du La Lune) who then, sends over his wife, to beat you, to a pulp?

I suspect the wife might be amenable to beating the hearth rather than you... and the dear cat, threatened with being catapulted directly, (abuse by use as kindling - lacquered fur should turbopower the ordinal transcendental transfer), into life #9, might well skip a few tracks and provide the desired melody. Remember to close the door, and if that husband comes asking to borrow a pen, for goodness sake's, don't tell him you're in bed!

What do you do if, in the above scenario, the husband comes over disguised as the wife, bearing a blowtorch althwhile wearing a captivating lip-glossed smile, and the cat, whose now 3rd death endows him with clairvoyance, jumps over the moon with his tail on fire... seeking his 4th rite of passage?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by firefly
What do you do if, in the above scenario, the husband comes over disguised as the wife, bearing a blowtorch althwhile wearing a captivating lip-glossed smile, and the cat, whose now 3rd death endows him with clairvoyance, jumps over the moon with his tail on fire... seeking his 4th rite of passage?

Trip the husband, dressed as a wife, him thusly throwing the Blowing torched at the flying cat, and cedeing to the feline it's aquisition to ascention, thereafter forever beknownst as the passage of the Flying Flaming Pussies rite of passages...

What do you do if, the person(s) who just 'invented' the above writings (singlely, or together) asks you to come and be a participant in a diffent form of a Rite of Passage?

 

[Messiah]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Trip the husband, dressed as a wife, him thusly throwing the Blowing torched at the flying cat, and cedeing to the feline it's aquisition to ascention, thereafter forever beknownst as the passage of the Flying Flaming Pussies rite of passages...

What do you do if, the person(s) who just 'invented' the above writings (singlely, or together) asks you to come and be a participant in a diffent form of a Rite of Passage?

You pass.

But what to you do if you are passing and see a UFO in the oncoming lane of traffic.

 

[selfAdjoint]

But what to you do if you are passing and see a UFO in the oncoming lane of traffic.

You duck.

But what do you do if the duck is Donald?

 

[Messiah]

Originally posted by selfAdjoint
But what to you do if you are passing and see a UFO in the oncoming lane of traffic.

You duck.

But what do you do if the duck is Donald?

You Trump him, of course, and then finish the hand.
But what do you do if the Trump suit is not a Ralph Lauren or Calvin Klein?

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by Messiah
You Trump him, of course, and then finish the hand.
But what do you do if the Trump suit is not a Ralph Lauren or Calvin Klein?

Well my sillies! such expectations would be out of line, for a Robin Parsons only could it be... such contortion of contextivity!

What do you do if the conspired content of the question led to an answer of inconsequentiality?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by firefly
What do you do if the conspired content of the question led to an answer of inconsequentiality?

Remain consequentially quiet...

What do you do if having discovered that the Bald Bellied Bear (Black) had not eaten the rabbit, you don't know what line, to type next?

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if having discovered that the Bald Bellied Bear (Black) had not eaten the rabbit, you don't know what line, to type next?

I would stick to a black-berry eating line, bears do love blackberries, dontcha know?

What do you do if a blackberry paled and turned blue, and worse were it said that once blue, the fruit turned sanguine red?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by firefly
What do you do if a blackberry paled and turned blue, and worse were it said that once blue, the fruit turned sanguine red?

Make the worlds most delightful and delicious Wine(s)!...Uhmmm yum!

What do you do if you have just opened a bottle of the worlds most savory, and deliciously delightfull wine(s), and the aroma makes you instantly drunk? (no puking zone...please, something about the smell? or the roof? or what??)

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if you have just opened a bottle of the worlds most savory, and deliciously delightfull wine(s), and the aroma makes you instantly drunk?

Such delicacy cannot withstand the usual manhandling, and, as such, the best thing is to taste and intertwine the subtle savouring of the wine with other pleasures.

What do you do if the other pleasures intended are quite beyond your repertoire?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by firefly
What do you do if the other pleasures intended are quite beyond your repertoire?

Subscribe to be a willing student! (then learn how!)

What do you do if your mother has left the cat outside in the rain, and now the mice in the house are running rampant, and taking all of the foodstuffs out of the pantry, the phone is ringing off of the wall hook because the dog is chewing at the wire while the rabbit is running around the 'inside' garden eating all of the lettuce which was to be for dinner tonight, so how will you reach your goal?

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if your mother has left the cat outside in the rain, and now the mice in the house are running rampant, and taking all of the foodstuffs out of the pantry, the phone is ringing off of the wall hook because the dog is chewing at the wire while the rabbit is running around the 'inside' garden eating all of the lettuce which was to be for dinner tonight, so how will you reach your goal?

Surely, had I not been prey to such an intoxicating influence as the Parsons brand liqueurs I should certainly be more able to navigate the nutrikinetic principles of the problem, however in my current state of disdress, my brain mush limits itself to providing the bare minimum... I will pour myself another: goal reached.

What do you do if the bottle is empty, and the quetion remains unansered, wet cat, chwing dog, running rabbit, chewed let us only imagine what plight awaits dessert?

 

[Messiah]

Originally posted by firefly
I would stick to a black-berry eating line, bears do love blackberries, dontcha know?

What do you do if a blackberry paled and turned blue, and worse were it said that once blue, the fruit turned sanguine red?

I'd whine "sangria..."
But what would you if Jerry Jeff Walker offered you some?

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by Messiah
But what would you if Jerry Jeff Walker offered you some?

Drink it, as long as he drank twice my volume.

What do you do if the What do you do if thread is unraveled such as to skip the context, not to speak of the quest ion, insofaras the prior sanguine blackbearing saga?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by firefly
What do you do if the bottle is empty, and the quetion remains unansered, wet cat, chwing dog, running rabbit, chewed let us only imagine what plight awaits dessert?

Suppositioning that the prior, will lead to the post, the 'P'-light that awaits, as dessert, still awaits the permissory indication that allows the dessert to be, well, served...

Originally posted by an echo of firefly
What do you do if the What do you do if thread is unraveled such as to skip the context, not to speak of the quest ion, insofaras the prior sanguine blackbearing saga?

Well in a 'quest ion' the charges accrue insofarasmuchas it is something electric in the sanguine nature of the Bears repast, past, but the bellied bear bared it's barb, to the bar band that consisted of the Two to's too, begging the query that ensconced, as embedded, is placed upon the quest the u'on, if you can bear up to it...

What do you do if, if, do you do what?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if, if, do you do what?

If, do you, do, then as early as page 20 in the Big Book Of Do's and If Do's they already start recommending the strategy of burying old TV remotes at strategic points in the back yard.

What do you do if you look out in the back yard to see a family of possums standing in a row, all winding their watches?

 

[Messiah]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If, do you, do, then as early as page 20 in the Big Book Of Do's and If Do's they already start recommending the strategy of burying old TV remotes at strategic points in the back yard.

What do you do if you look out in the back yard to see a family of possums standing in a row, all winding their watches?

You gather them in a circle to wand their witches.

But what do you do if the possums play dead and they aren't convincing?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Originally posted by Messiah

But what do you do if the possums play dead and they aren't convincing?

You give them acting lessons.

What do you do if it suddenly dawns on you that a woodchuck actually could chuck wood?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Math Is Hard
What do you do if it suddenly dawns on you that a woodchuck actually could chuck wood?

For GODS SAKE don't tell anyone! The government has been secretly and illegally incarcerating people in mental institutions for years for coming to that important realization.

What do you do if you are trying to dislodge a rotund woodchuck from the srtings of a Boesendorfer grand piano in order to pack it for shipment to Calgary, the greatest city in the world, but each time you get one of his feet unstuck he gets another one caught?

 

[null]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if you are trying to dislodge a rotund woodchuck from the strings of a Bosendorfer grand piano in order to pack it for shipment to Calgary, the greatest city in the world, but each time you get one of his feet unstuck he gets another one caught?

Well of course the woodchuck in question was 'high strung' so preferred a Bosendorfer grand for hibernation. Upon being awakened by a hungry zooby, he had to lodge his foot to prevent his certain consumption, he would rather risk it in Calgary which all ground burrowers know is the worst city in the world as their type is persecuted in the prairie province, so the dumpy duffer, dexterously diverted definite desolation.
Obviously all one must do to dislodge his leg and get hime moving in quick time is to play him an Allegro Marmota monax then suggest a Baby Grand for future hibernations.

So what do you do if an aggitated alligator arrives arguing arduosly against alliteration?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by null
So what do you do if an aggitated alligator arrives arguing arduosly against alliteration?

A gator who scorns `lliteration,
Should not be allowed in the nation.
A reptile like that
Makes poetry flat,
Which just leads to much prosey stagnation.During weird, purple jellyfish season, large herds of weird, purple jellyfish are washed up on the beaches of Southern California. At the same time, freak rainstorms sometimes wash large numbers of rattlesnakes down to the beaches via the stormdrains where they hide in the many piles of kelp, there being nowhere else for them to go.

What do you do if you're caught between a jellyfish and a rattlenake?

 

[Messiah]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if you look out in the backyard and find a family of woodchucks standing in a line dressed as Elvis, and singing "Love Me Tender"?

Cook him until he is.

But what would you do if Elvis got into a fight with Jimmy Hoffa?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Messiah
But what would you do if Elvis got into a fight with Jimmy Hoffa?

I would pack them both inside a grand piano crate and ship them to Louisiana.During weird, purple jellyfish season, large herds of weird, purple jellyfish are washed up on the beaches of Southern California. At the same time, freak rainstorms sometimes wash large numbers of rattlesnakes down to the beaches via the stormdrains where they hide in the many piles of kelp, there being nowhere else for them to go.

What do you do if you're caught between a jellyfish and a rattlenake?

 

[Math Is Hard]

What do you do if you're caught between a jellyfish and a rattlenake?

Jump straight up in the air. The rattlesnake that is lunging at you will miss and hit the Jellyfish. The rattlesnake bite will kill the jellyfish and the jellyfish sting will kill the rattlesnake.


but what do you do if you don't have a good recipe for jellyfish jambalaya or rattlesnake ratatouille?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Math Is Hard
but what do you do if you don't have a good recipe for jellyfish jambalaya or rattlesnake ratatouille?

Try the zoobie recipe: as is. What do you do if, no matter how much you scold and yell, a herd of washed up jellyfish decides you're their mother and slithers after you where ever you go?

 

[null]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Try the zoobie recipe: as is.
What do you do if, no matter how much you scold and yell, a herd of washed up jellyfish decides you're their mother and slithers after you where ever you go?

Become very suspicious.
-First attempt to invert the invertebrates to produce the famed fish jelly.
-If unsuccessful then it is as I suspected, you've been snookered , jelly can slide but it can't slither (even if rattled), it must be a hallucination invoked by the psychedelic pseudo jellyfish. I recommend you consociate these gelatinous gems so you may reef the euphoric rewards .

What do you do if upon reefing too many of the psychedelic pseudo jellyfish rewards you
are only able to confabulate in haiku?

 

[Messiah]

Originally posted by null
Become very suspicious.
-First attempt to invert the invertebrates to produce the famed fish jelly.
-If unsuccessful then it is as I suspected, you've been snookered , jelly can slide but it can't slither (even if rattled), it must be a hallucination invoked by the psychedelic pseudo jellyfish. I recommend you consociate these gelatinous gems so you may reef the euphoric rewards .

What do you do if upon reefing too many of the psychedelic pseudo jellyfish rewards you
are only able to confabulate in haiku?

I'd go out of my mime.

But what would you do if the ×äõí¼ diddled the ³¨¤Ÿ in broad daylight?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Messiah
But what would you do if the ×äõí¼ diddled the ³¨¤Ÿ in broad daylight?

Smile while calling the 'Diddling' police...

What do you do if, when the "diddling" police show up it is the 'BPO' and she is accompanied by the 'MMB', who wants to Diddle YOU?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if, when the "diddling" police show up it is the 'BPO' and she is accompanied by the 'MMB', who wants to Diddle YOU?

I don't think those characters will be showing up. Their costumes have been eaten full of holes by moth larvae from years in storage, and the Lovely Sally O'Malley, who used to play the MMB, has been arrested for shoplifting and minor drug possession charges, while Shirley "Pearly" Morgan, who used to play the BPO now weighs in at over 300 pounds.What do you do if you look out in your back yard and discover a team of NASA engineers and a camera crew using it as a space to hoax the martian rover pictures?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe

What do you do if you look out in your back yard and discover a team of NASA engineers and a camera crew using it as a space to hoax the martian rover pictures?

well... DUH! You call Art Bell.

What do you do if the line is busy?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Math Is Hard
What do you do if the line is busy?

His line is always busy because the show is a hoax, all the callers are actors, and while the tape is playing the thoroughly inebriated Mr. Bell is usually at home crawling on all fours around his trailer trying to find the bathroom.What do you do if you're thoroughly inebriated, and crawling on all fours around your trailer, when the Men In Black from Area 51 show up yet again to find out exactly how much it is you know about their reverse engineering program?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if you're thoroughly inebriated, and crawling on all fours around your trailer, when the Men In Black from Area 51 show up yet again to find out exactly how much it is you know about their reverse engineering program?

Llet Meht gnihtyreve I t'nod wonk, Backwards!

What to you do if, someone figures out that, your secret code(ing system) is to write everything backwards?

 

[Messiah]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Llet Meht gnihtyreve I t'nod wonk, Backwards!

What to you do if, someone figures out that, your secret code(ing system) is to write everything backwards?

Angechay the odecay

But what would you do if they cracked your super-duper most secret code - INVISIBLE to the naked eye and figured out how to read your mind as well??

PS: Just think like a "#D0D0"

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Messiah
But what would you do if they cracked your super-duper most secret code - INVISIBLE to the naked eye and figured out how to read your mind as well??

Well, first I would 'highlight' (to copy/paste) so's I'sa could reads'a the hidden massages, then, I would cease thinking, completely!

What would you do if you ceased thinking, completely?