Why do non-smokers often display hostility towards smokers?

[WhoWee]

I apologize for sounding hostile, but I have really good reason to want to vent in this thread. I have to deal everyday with obnoxious cigarette smoke filling my house and preventing me from even being able to sit outside on my own patio.

If you don't smoke, a very small amount of smoke is very easy to detect. Non-smokers who point this out are not being over-sensitive. Every time I smell (someone else's smoke) - it triggers a thought that I'm inhaling their bad breath.

 

[Bratticus]

Now, honestly, blowing smoke at a person that does not smoke is simply rude. It should not need laws for people to display good manners. I do not walk though our condo complex with lit tobacco, because I consider it rude to do so. I can do as I wish, as long as I do not infringe on the rights of others... stated ad nauseum... smoking in the presense of non-smokers is rude, simple as that. It has nothing whatsoever to do with the rights of smokers or non-smokers, it is a simple display of respect and courtesy, imho.

Not all smokers are rude, and not all non-smokers are courteous. All ladies are after all women and all gentlemen are men, however, not all women are ladies and not all men are gentlemen. It is a sad state if we need, lawyers and law suits to remind people to be respectful of their fellow man/woman and display basic manners.

 

[WhoWee]

Now, honestly, blowing smoke at a person that does not smoke is simply rude. It should not need laws for people to display good manners.

I agree. We should all treat other people the way we would like to be treated.

I can't really say that people blowing smoke in my face has ever been a big problem. However, it did happen once. A young fellow, trying very hard to impress a young lady as well as his group of friends, stepped very close to me and exhaled a lung full of smoke directly into my face. I smiled, took the cigarette away from him and quickly put it down his open shirt. He didn't bother me ever again.

 

[kldickson]

Realistically, if you want to kill yourself, that's your prerogative. I just don't want to have my respiratory system assailed by carcinogenic fumes.

Find somewhere to smoke where it won't blow into someone else's face. We shouldn't have to breathe your cancer stick crap.

 

[Bratticus]

Hrm... so much for courtesy

 

[Lacy33]

Hrm... so much for courtesy

Why are you looking for courtesy?
A person who is still smoking is at a dangerous level of denial. A nonsmoker has to live with this dangerous denial just like we all suffer potential hazard or death from a drunk who gets behind the wheel of a car. These are behaviors that are known to harm other people and a smoker or a drinker are not going to step over their own denial to protect another persons health. Perhaps a few here and there, but not the majority.

 

[negitron]

Why are you looking for courtesy?

Because if you want courtesy from smokers you have to give courtesy back. That's the way society works, whether you like it or not.

 

[Lacy33]

Because if you want courtesy from smokers you have to give courtesy back. That's the way society works, whether you like it or not.

No, I do not agree. "Society" does not work well on these kinds of issues at all. The system is broken as far as I can see. I am a nurse and I see on the unit what smoking and other such "Society" accepted behaviors do to a person. How many times have I heard from a pt, I wish i would have quit? No, I'm sorry for "courtesy" sake, your comment sounds like more denial. I hope your not a smoker and if you are I hope you are able to give it up somehow.

 

[negitron]

The system is broken as much because of self-righteous people like you as by rude smokers.

I quit smoking 6 years ago.

 

[Lacy33]

The system is broken as much because of self-righteous people like you as by rude smokers.

I quit smoking 6 years ago.

Do you really think I'm being self righteous?

 

[negitron]

Yes, that is the overall tone of your posts thus far, intentional or not.

 

[Lacy33]

Yes, that is the overall tone of your posts thus far, intentional or not.

And I see that you are not prone to suffering fools. To say that you would know one when you see one. So I guess you win and I better go anyway. Happy you were able to stop smoking. I was able to as well.

 

[Hootenanny]

Because if you want courtesy from smokers you have to give courtesy back. That's the way society works, whether you like it or not.

I suppose we should also be courteous to drink drivers then, shouldn't we?

 

[negitron]

Driving drunk is illegal and therefore undeserving of courtesy. Try again.

 

[Hootenanny]

Driving drunk is illegal and therefore undeserving of courtesy. Try again.

Okay, fair point. Suppose I came and stood beside you whilst cutting up some old asbestos filled boards. Would you 'politely' ask me to do it somewhere else? Or would you think that I was obnoxious?

 

[Lacy33]

I suppose we should also be courteous to drink drivers then, shouldn't we?

I would give a drunk driver all the consideration/courtesy they required.
They could have the entire road, sidewalk, front lawns, storefronts, living rooms, driveways, parks, beaches, rivers, lakes and oceans to drive drunk in.


(sorry, could not resist) I get the point.

 

[negitron]

Suppose I came and stood beside you whilst cutting up some old asbestos filled boards. Would you 'politely' ask me to do it somewhere else? Or would you think that I was obnoxious?

That would also be illegal; as a hazmat, asbestos requires special handling by EPA-licensed contractors.

 

[Hootenanny]

That would also be illegal; as a hazmat, asbestos requires special handling by EPA-licensed contractors.

You understand the point I'm trying to make.

Suppose I came and set a fire next to you? There's nothing illegal about that now is there?

 

[rootX]

Why are you looking for courtesy?
A person who is still smoking is at a dangerous level of denial. A nonsmoker has to live with this dangerous denial just like we all suffer potential hazard or death from a drunk who gets behind the wheel of a car. These are behaviors that are known to harm other people and a smoker or a drinker are not going to step over their own denial to protect another persons health. Perhaps a few here and there, but not the majority.

Are you saying that if someone harms only himself not anyone else, he does not deserve courtesy?

You understand the point I'm trying to make.

Suppose I came and set a fire next to you? There's nothing illegal about that now is there?

See Lacy33 above post, from where it started. It is not about troubling others.

 

[negitron]

Yes, that's likely illegal, too, depending on where I happen to be at the time. In any case, I do understand the point you are trying to make but unfortunately, it's invalid. See, smoking (in addition to being perfectly legal, with certain exceptions previously noted upthread) has, at least up until recently, a long, long history of being socially-acceptable and as such at least a modicum of common courtesy is due to those who choose to indulge in it provided they are, likewise, courteous in their indulgence.

 

[Hootenanny]

See Lacy33 above post, from where it started. It is not about troubling others.

My point is distinct from Lacy33's, but unfortunately it seems that they have become entwined, which is entirely my fault for not making my point clearly. Allow me to clarify.

My point is simply that, in my experience the majority of smokers do not extend the courtesy of not smoking around non-smokers. Therefore, I see no reason to be courteous to such smokers. I have no problem with people smoking when it affects no one else, what someone puts into their body is their own business. However, I do have a gripe when it affects other people and in particular, me.

 

[Hootenanny]

See, smoking (in addition to being perfectly legal, with certain exceptions previously noted upthread) has, at least up until recently, a long, long history of being socially-acceptable and as such at least a modicum of common courtesy is due to those who choose to indulge in it provided they are, likewise, courteous in their indulgence.

I completely and utterly agree with you (see my previous post). However, as is often the case with non-mathematical discussions, I tend to be unable to clearly elucidate my point. That is why I very rarely post in GD and instead, I lock myself away in the academic forums!

 

[Evo]

Yes, that's likely illegal, too, depending on where I happen to be at the time. In any case, I do understand the point you are trying to make but unfortunately, it's invalid. See, smoking (in addition to being perfectly legal, with certain exceptions previously noted upthread) has, at least up until recently, a long, long history of being socially-acceptable and as such at least a modicum of common courtesy is due to those who choose to indulge in it provided they are, likewise, courteous in their indulgence.

If they were courteous in their indulgence, I wouldn't notice them. That's the problem, most smokers are not courteous.

Your post makes no sense, why are people addicted to an obnoxious, unhealthy habit that causes ill effects for those near them due courtesy? I'll show them courtesy if they do not indulge in their vice where it can affect me.

Also, there are fewer and fewer places where smoking is legal. There are reasons for this, because the majority has spoken up and is saying no more are we going to be abused by smokers.

 

[Redbelly98]

My point is simply that, in my experience the majority of smokers do not extend the courtesy of not smoking around non-smokers.

Just FYI Hoot, it's different in the US. Smoking is not allowed inside many public buildings, at least in my state (New Jersey).

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

My point is simply that, in my experience the majority of smokers do not extend the courtesy of not smoking around non-smokers. Therefore, I see no reason to be courteous to such smokers. I have no problem with people smoking when it affects no one else, what someone puts into their body is their own business. However, I do have a gripe when it affects other people and in particular, me.

In my job I deal with a lot of people who are annoying each other. I have found that in the vast majority of cases if I politely ask someone to stop... they do! I have also found that in the vast majority of cases when a person is rude/obnoxious/discourteous to someone who is annoying them they just wind up pissing people off, making them less inclined to be courteous towards them, and sparking a desire in these people to find ways of getting back at them.

It is generally best to approach most any situation with courtesy to begin with otherwise you may turn a rather simple and easily resolved issue into something much more annoying than it was to begin with.

Anyone who feels that its ok to not be courteous to certain people ought not be suprised when certain people are not courteous towards them.

 

[negitron]

Anyone who feels that its ok to not be courteous to certain people ought not be suprised when certain people are not courteous towards them.

Bingo. I'm amazed that so many ostensibly intelligent people don't understand this very basic social concept.

 

[Bratticus]

kldickson, I suggest you get yourself a gasmask. Even if no one in this country smokes, you will still be breathing carcinogenic fumes courtesy of automobile emissions and industrial pollution. And to further protect yourself, only use clean energy, which excludes electricity, since much of that is generated by burning fossil fuels, more carcinogens. Might I also suggest not to eat anything cooked on charcoal (carcinogens there as well). And no burning wood or any other organic matter (more carcinogens).

 

[Evo]

kldickson, I suggest you get yourself a gasmask. Even if no one in this country smokes, you will still be breathing carcinogenic fumes courtesy of automobile emissions and industrial pollution. And to further protect yourself, only use clean energy, which excludes electricity, since much of that is generated by burning fossil fuels, more carcinogens. Might I also suggest not to eat anything cooked on charcoal (carcinogens there as well). And no burning wood or any other organic matter (more carcinogens).

I actually avoid smoked meat and have stopped cooking over fire. I threw away my $800 barbecue grill setup because of the information about the carcinogens.

I now make "barbecued ribs" by boiling the ribs in water, then covering in barbecue sauce and baking them in the oven at low heat for a couple of hours. People think they are the best ribs.

But carcinogens in air polution really are not on the same scale as the pain of having to inhale clouds of cigarette smoke. It's the immediate pain and sickness that results from that smoke that is like a direct assault.

 

[lisab]

I have found that in the vast majority of cases if I politely ask someone to stop... they do!

I've had this same experience. It made me feel vulnerable...I had to say, that's over the line, seriously...please stop. Very uncomfortable but it really was effective.

 

[Bratticus]

I actually avoid smoked meat and have stopped cooking over fire. I threw away my $800 barbecue grill setup because of the information about the carcinogens.

I now make "barbecued ribs" by boiling the ribs in water, then covering in barbecue sauce and baking them in the oven at low heat for a couple of hours. People think they are the best ribs.

But carcinogens in air polution really are not on the same scale as the pain of having to inhale clouds of cigarette smoke. It's the immediate pain and sickness that results from that smoke that is like a direct assault.

Do you make your own bbq sauce? If so, I woiuld love the recipe

I understand where you are coming from evo. I do know the pain that can be created by being exposed to something that makes you sick. I am allergic to most perfumes, and having your throat close and stop you from breathing is not fun. And I do not have asthma.

 

[rootX]

I actually avoid smoked meat and have stopped cooking over fire. I threw away my $800 barbecue grill setup because of the information about the carcinogens.

I was looking at George grills for myself..
http://www.georgeforemancooking.com/products/selector.aspx

.

 

[Evo]

Do you make your own bbq sauce? If so, I woiuld love the recipe

I used to, but then found that KC Masterpiece original, tasted very much like mine, so i buy that now.

Get some thick ribs, we love the country pork ribs, boil 45 minutes to an hour, drain, place in your baking dish and cover with the sauce. Cook on 325F for at least5 2 hours, or until meat falls apart. :!)

I understand where you are coming from evo. I do know the pain that can be created by being exposed to something that makes you sick. I am allergic to most perfumes, and having your throat close and stop you from breathing is not fun. And I do not have asthma.

I feel for you. I ran into so much smoke the last few days that I got a really bad sore throat and missed a day of work Thursday because of it.

I really like my neighbors, but my daughter and I have been dropping "hints" like going outside when they smoke and start choking and coughing and saying quite loudly that the smoke is making us sick and that we have to go inside and close the windows and turn on the a/c because the cigarette smoke is making us ill. After doing this dozens of times, they still sit outside all year, even in freezing temps and smoke like chimneys. Any normal person would have taken the hint. We tried to be polite, it didn't work.

 

[Evo]

I was looking at George grills for myself..
http://www.georgeforemancooking.com/products/selector.aspx

.

Those are good.

 

[Hepth]

My method is : Boil said ribs. Throw them under the broiler till they get a little crispy (NOT BURNT or BLACK) just so that the top layer dries out some. Then toss them into the slow cooker/crock pot for a few hours and They'll be amazing. 2-3 hours is probably good, any more and it gets mushy.

 

[Bratticus]

Thanx evo and Hepth, I wrote down both.

Evo, perhaps you can speak with your condo assn and have them post an area for smokers that will not expose you and your daughter to smoke. We did this here and it works just fine. No one has problems with it.