Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons Now that the zoob has let slip your nations most important, and advanced, weapons defence system, what the heck is going to defend the U.S.A. (and the rst of North America) now?

Fortunately, there is still Z.O.O.B.Y.: The Zombie Optimized for Online Battle and Yardwork.On a recent excursion to Tierra Del Fuego I had the peculiar experience of an encounter with a two inch tall lilliputian who was on vacation from Lilliput. He said that they prefer to spend the hollidays in cold remote places because they dislike crowds of tourists, which present dangers to them, most notably that of being stepped on. I asked him what he thought would prevent me from stepping on him right then and there, and was suddenly rushed by several million of his countrymen who overwhelmed me and staked me to the ground, Gulliver style.

Where on Earth do lilliputians get so much rope?

 

[Carla1]

Where on Earth do lilliputians get so much rope? [/QUOTE]

From an over-active imagination needing to expend itself but choosing to do so towards a pragmatic end. Thus a lot of rope might come in handy one day, as it most certainly did, for nailing down giant foreigners and the like.


Where is your leader? Take me to him.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Carla1 Where is your leader? Take me to him.

Go here:usimc
Address:http://community-2.webtv.net/zoobyshoe/joe/ On a recent trip to Amsterdam I visited the Rijkmuseum to view thw works of Vincent on display there. As I examined a little known landscape by that famous Dutch lunatic, I was stunned to see a perfectly formed crop circle in a wheat field in the landscape, and what appeared to be a flying saucer rising up from it into the sky, emanating all your typical Van Gogh swirlies of thick paint.

Is this not proof?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
On a recent trip to Amsterdam I visited the Rijkmuseum to view thw works of Vincent on display there. As I examined a little known landscape by that famous Dutch lunatic, I was stunned to see a perfectly formed crop circle in a wheat field in the landscape, and what appeared to be a flying saucer rising up from it into the sky, emanating all your typical Van Gogh swirlies of thick paint.

Is this not proof?

Yes! it is not proof! as in proof of it not, or should we say that the proof not proven is the proof that is not the proof as that is what a not proof actaully is, not, isn't it proven not to be the not proof by the fact of the proof being the proven that is not, such that everyone can know that the not proof proves what is not proven!

How, was the weather?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons How, was the weather?

It was a beautiful day. I strolled up and down. I bathed naked in a canal. I stopped at a cafe. I drank coffee naked. You can pretty much do anything you want in Amsterdam.

I bought some paint and a canvas and stood at the side of a canal painting plagarisms of van Gogh and Rembrant with my fingers claiming to be channeling those dead artists. No one cared. The whole thing was pretty much a waste of time. The weather was beautiful, though.While at the Rijksmuseum I noticed an obscure drawing by Vincent of a landscape somewhere in the French countryside, and upon examining the details of the dots and squiggles he used to shade in a patch of rocky soil I perceived a coded message in proto-cuneiform which said:"Sun pick slobber joist and frimmeling tail pike staff." At first, I was very exited, but then I realized I had no idea what it meant. While I was removing the drawing from the wall to take it home for further study, three docents appeared and tackled me.

What was the big deal?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
While at the Rijksmuseum I noticed an obscure drawing by Vincent of a landscape somewhere in the French countryside, and upon examining the details of the dots and squiggles he used to shade in a patch of rocky soil I perceived a coded message in proto-cuneiform which said:"Sun pick slobber joist and frimmeling tail pike staff." At first, I was very exited, but then I realized I had no idea what it meant. While I was removing the drawing from the wall to take it home for further study, three docents appeared and tackled me.
What was the big deal?

Well, what's the big deal you ask, if I stole (or attempted to steal) from you your Holy Grail of your reliigion wouldn't you be resistive? angry? ready to tackle the stranger and ensure that they do not remove the "Secrets to the Universe" that is clearly encompassed within that "proto-cuneiform" that is actually the very first example of "stenganographic" imbedding of information ever accompished by Humanity. As for exactly what the expression; "Sun pick slobber joist and frimmeling tail pike staff." means, well that is an 'International Secret' and can ony be devulged to 'Authorities' with a class (deleted) clearance rating because, well, you know, The mission is (This section deleted, you have no 'Authority' clearance) so that, obviously and clearly, proves it!

Now that the "Secrets of the Universe" have been completely revealed, what is there left to study?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons Now that the "Secrets of the Universe" have been completely revealed, what is there left to study?

Cindy Crawford.In the last century, during the height of battle, I was crawling up a sandy beach on some foreign shore with mortars exploding around me, and bullets zipping just over my helmet, my face running with sweat and salt water, when I can face to face with one of the foreign enemy soldiers who seemed to be crawling in the other direction. He looked me directly in the eye, and, in some silent, unspoken agreement we simply crawled past each other without any trouble.
However, when I made it safely to cover in the bushes I found to my dismay that the Hershey bar in my shirt pocket was squashed and mutilated. Why can't these things ever have a happy ending?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by (an obviously very depressed) zoobyshoe
In the last century, during the height of battle, I was crawling up a sandy beach on some foreign shore with mortars exploding around me, and bullets zipping just over my helmet, my face running with sweat and salt water, when I can face to face with one of the foreign enemy soldiers who seemed to be crawling in the other direction. He looked me directly in the eye, and, in some silent, unspoken agreement we simply crawled past each other without any trouble.
However, when I made it safely to cover in the bushes I found to my dismay that the Hershey bar in my shirt pocket was squashed and mutilated. Why can't these things ever have a happy ending?

Wow, is it ever clear that "The glass iS Empty!" to you, your Hershey bar was "Mutilated and Squashed" after you crossed a battle field, (during a battle! ) and you think that your still edible Hershey's bar is some kind of sign that life sucks?? wow, do you need psychiatric HELP! Buddy, you lived! celebrate it with your food!

Why is it?

 

[motai]

He may have lived, but his chocolate is crushed! That is one of the worst possible tragedies to befall a soldier! Oh the agony! Its almost like getting shot, or a truck running over your foot.

To make it past the shingle and into the safety of the bushes and not knowing that your chocolate didn't survive is just terrible.

Proof is in the form of Homer Simpson. He screamed when he saw a donut being burned.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Why is it?

Then, therefore, cause I said so.

Wow, is it ever clear that "The glass iS Empty!" to you, your Hershey bar was "Mutilated and Squashed" after you crossed a battle field, (during a battle! ) and you think that your still edible Hershey's bar is some kind of sign that life sucks?? wow, do you need psychiatric HELP! Buddy, you lived! celebrate it with your food!

Where would I look to find the stupidity in this anser? I have looked, but I can't find it. Where is it?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Where would I look to find the stupidity in this ansWer? I have looked, but I can't find it. Where is it?

And therefore, you have...

When looking for stupidity, if/when you find it, doesn't that mean that you have really found that, within yourself?

 

[zoobyshoe]

a PROFOUNDLY introspective morsel of speculation Originally posted by the remarkably wize Mr. Robin Parsons When looking for stupidity, if/when you find it, doesn't that mean that you have really found that, within yourself?

So, you think you're the Wizard of Oz, now?: "You didn't need to look for stupidity, you always had it within yourself!" During my misspent youth I had the misfortune of falling in with a rogue who entertained himself by cheating people at 3 card Monte. As the schill, I pretended not to know him, and he would allow me to win a few times in front of the greedy onlookers, which would prime them to play and be fleeced.
One day a group of French Canadian farmers from pretty far out in the sticks of Quebec arrived at the table. I could see my partner fairly licking his lips at this easy prospect, and I began to win in front of them. After my second win they got bored and walked away.

How was the gravity, that day?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
During my misspent youth I had the misfortune of falling in with a rogue who entertained himself by cheating people at 3 card Monte. As the schill, I pretended not to know him, and he would allow me to win a few times in front of the greedy onlookers, which would prime them to play and be fleeced.
One day a group of French Canadian farmers from pretty far out in the sticks of Quebec arrived at the table. I could see my partner fairly licking his lips at this easy prospect, and I began to win in front of them. After my second win they got bored and walked away.

How was the gravity, that day?

If You want a "Gravity Report" it is requisite that you include the longditude, latitude, and time of day, as to allow me to check just what I had had your sector established at, for that day. That is clearly written upon the form GRF.rep//56473829993048GUI875843900.000000offdre66547agcttagcctta°9 (in 'Latex' or "notedpadder.lie") that must have been hand replicated in quintiplicate-twice and submitted be the fastest bicycle messenger service currently know to exist on the face of the planet, such that it arrives at the orifice of the "Institute of Geophysical Gravitational Adjustments at Centrale Du Tour", Mirroring "The Acadamie du Magnetism Electrificant Au Grossesse^e" within a minimium of thiry five years, as we do not keep our records longer then that, (too much magma) or you will forfeit your admistration fee of three hundred thousand million million "peKUwinuckies".


{On a more personal notation Being the "Setter of the Gravitational Field Force" can sometimes appear as a tedious tasking, but it is actually fun! (sometimes) after all, you thought it was the wind that drove the skirts up, didn't ya?)

When setting gravitational field strengths, should it be an adjustable day?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
When setting gravitational field strengths, should it be an adjustable day?

I'm sorry, I seem to be suffering fom micropsia at the moment, or else there has been some exclusively lateral relativistic effect not forseen by Einstein in his musings on gravity, in this particular perpendicular universe from which I write.Or have you been stretching the gravity out sideways by forgetting to calibrate the second dimension settings?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Or have you been stretching the gravity out sideways by forgetting to calibrate the second dimension settings?

Ahem, clearly you didn't pass the "Gravitational settings adjusters" test, the "second dimensional settings" 'inter-dimensional' sure!, but "two dimensional"?? where have you been...aw well, 4getaboutit
P.S. you don't 'stretch' gravity, it'll rebound on ya, really badly you...oooops!

When falling in a non gravitational environment, is it A) advisable to figure out why you are falling? B) figure out How you are falling? C) Figure out what you are falling through...? D) Figure out when, if ever, you will stop falling? E) All of the Above - 1 F) None of the Above G) None of all of the above that are below all of the above that is what you would have answered if the below had been above what had been the answer below it? H) None of your Freeeeeeek'in business?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
When falling in a non gravitational environment, is it A) advisable to figure out why you are falling? B) figure out How you are falling? C) Figure out what you are falling through...? D) Figure out when, if ever, you will stop falling? E) All of the Above - 1 F) None of the Above G) None of all of the above that are below all of the above that is what you would have answered if the below had been above what had been the answer below it? H) None of your Freeeeeeek'in business?

I believe these quetions are a surreptitious attempt to get me to take the very Gravitational Settings Adjustor's test you mentioned above to demonstrate my unfitness for such a position. This reminds me of something my old Professor of Testology used to spout when I was in college, back sometime before they changed the name of the Grand Canyon to what it is presently called, when we could get him to the local beer joint and pry his tongue loose with that hoppy beverage, which was: "When the testers come to test you, do you think that testing them in return is the true test of your testosterone, in truth?" And we all used to cry: "I suppose!." To which he would respond: "Buy me more beer." To this day I'm convinced none of that meant much of anything. Every schoolchild knows that the acceleration of gravity is 32 feet per second/per second, or 9.8 m persec², but here's a fact about gravity that I bet a lot of people didn't know, which is that at 10:56:34 A.M. on some Sunday mornings the gravity all over the world is colored with a hideous designer color in the range of chartreuse for a span of time lasting about 10^-21 seconds. Heisenberg wanted to do a paper about it but no one cared. Tesla wanted to use it to power the worlds electrical grid, but couldn't find the funding. Nixon secretly spent millions of government dollars trying to find a way to change it to a different color.
Who wants gum?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Every schoolchild knows that the acceleration of gravity is 32 feet per second/per second, or 9.8 m persec², but here's a fact about gravity that I bet a lot of people didn't know, which is that at 10:56:34 A.M. on some Sunday mornings the gravity all over the world is colored with a hideous designer color in the range of chartreuse for a span of time lasting about 10^-21 seconds. Heisenberg wanted to do a paper about it but no one cared. Tesla wanted to use it to power the worlds electrical grid, but couldn't find the funding. Nixon secretly spent millions of government dollars trying to find a way to change it to a different color.
Who wants gum?

Depends, what flavor is the gum? is it that "Chartruse Sky" flavor? cause that would be, well, gravitational! (That flavor reeeeally Sucks!)

When strolling through a gravitational field, is it better to be wearing a 'G-Suit'? to be a 'G-Man'? or just to be a 'G-sub'?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
When strolling through a gravitational field, is it better to be wearing a 'G-Suit'? to be a 'G-Man'? or just to be a 'G-sub'?

It's funny you should arrive at that particular quetion in your train of thought, because according to my schedule your train of thought was supposed to have pulled into a different station just now. This shows just how reliable thought train schedule writers really are. As a matter of fact, I'm cancelling my subscription to the "Thought Train Weekly Digest" and will return to the TV Guide, which is only occasionally wrong.

So, I'm sitting here surrounded by radionuclides and I'm getting concerned about the K-40 and Na-22 levels, and the darn Geiger Counter rolls over, groans, and I can see its spirit rise up and float away. So that's no use anymore. So what am I going to do if a Gamma ray Burst from long long ago, in a galaxy far, far away arrives for supper and I"m not even aware of it?
Is it possible to sense background radiation with your backside?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
So, I'm sitting here surrounded by radionuclides and I'm getting concerned about the K-40 and Na-22 levels, and the darn Geiger Counter rolls over, groans, and I can see its spirit rise up and float away. So that's no use anymore. So what am I going to do if a Gamma ray Burst from long long ago, in a galaxy far, far away arrives for supper and I"m not even aware of it?
Is it possible to sense background radiation with your backside?

Yes but only by those astute enough to know that the radiation is penetrating them from the front, as backside felt radiation is not the same as frontside felt radiation, least not according to the Journal "Radiation Specialties Addressing the Global needs of Radiologists Knowing of Radiated Directedness in Spatial Symetries that are Translocatable Throughout Radiant Radiances in Radiational Relationships with Radioactive Nucleotides" Vol; 17 Pg 200004887364.4 in which it was specifically mentioned that 'frontside radiation' was severalfold considerationally differentiable from 'backside radiational' relationships, relatively speaking, of course...

Hey a couple of Quebec farmers came by the other day, told me they saw the funniest looking human being that they had ever seen, playing cards or something, they felt sorry for that one, so they left, but tell me, where is my bottle?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
but tell me, where is my bottle?

On its way to Tofua. It is being carried by an ocean current, so the ETA is a long way off. There's a message inside it. It is stoppered with a cork.

Recently it collided with the head of a woman who had slipped overboard from her ship on a particularly warm night for a refreshing swim. She was knocked unconscious.

That's another story. Important here, is the message in your bottle. Don't worry. It's safe. It will get there on time. I can't provide precise long and lat because "you know who" has found a way to frequent this forum disguised as a harmless engineering grad student from lower Szfortzania. Don't interact with that person, he'll just try to talk you into smoking enough happy tabbaccy to spill your G.U.T.s.

Who else was there, when all this happened?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally asked by an impatient zoobyshoe
That's another story. Important here, is the message in your bottle. Don't worry. It's safe. It will get there on time. I can't provide precise long and lat because "you know who" has found a way to frequent this forum disguised as a harmless engineering grad student from lower Szfortzania. Don't interact with that person, he'll just try to talk you into smoking enough happy tabbaccy to spill your G.U.T.s.

Who else was there, when all this happened?

Well, there was Jimmy,
and Sally,
Joe,
George,
Jane,
Jill,
Christopher,
Al,
Frank,
Georgette,
Peter,
Milo,
Adam,
Priscilla,
Linda,
Lucy,
Orville,
Edna,
Ralph,
Edwina,
Charles,
someone who remained 'untagged' (as named)
Estelle,
Ellen,
Gwen,
Thomas,
& Tom,
Randal,
Nate,
Matty,
Alfred,
Another Lucy,
Bertram,
Barney (NO! not! the Dino!)
Alision,
and some Jerk named "Troggmorten"!

So just outa curiosity, who was missing, that was on "The list"??

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons So just outa curiosity, who was missing, that was on "The list"??

For reasons not yet alluded to I cannot be explicit, implicit, obtuse, or even vague about that. I can however be evasive and deceptive. Therefore the name you seek is not the second one up from the third one down after the guy we both recognise as "Baleen Boy" in a different context, all of which is an evasive lie (hint, hint).Your average topologist wearing a vest and a coat on top of it can perform maneuvers to remove the vest without first removing the coat. That being the case, can he also remove his underwear without first removing his pants?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Your average topologist wearing a vest and a coat on top of it can perform maneuvers to remove the vest without first removing the coat. That being the case, can he also remove his underwear without first removing his pants?

Only if he passes them through his "Stealth Socks" (patent pending) First, otherwise he will simply end up tying himself into 'knots' and need a 'knot theorist' to release him, (VEEEeeeery expensive, I hear, "tres Cher" $$$$$$$$Bigtime)

Is there really a difference between a "Not Theoretician" and a "Knot Theorist"?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally pasteured by Mr. Robin Parsons direct from the mother cowIs there really a difference between a "Not Theoretician" and a "Knot Theorist"?

I met one of each once, and there was a difference, yes. Can't think now what it was, though.I invented the following word recently, please provide a definition: squigifferous

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by a verbose zoobyshoe
I invented the following word recently, please provide a definition: squigifferous

Invented? HA! what a joke! invented?! (NOT!) it is one of the phylum of various marine cephalopod mollusks of the genus Loligo (..and related genera) hence it is of the "Squid Family", just that this particular type of squid tends towards a diet heavy in Iron (pardon the pun) and as such has a tendancey (But only a tendancy) to produce ink that is saturated with that iron content and as a result of that, it's "Ink Stream" defence tactic has evolved into a "Squiggly Squirt" from the more normal and common straight ink jet squirt.

(and the Zoob want's Y'all to think He invented it, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haa ha ha!)

Now this begs the question of, just where does one go to acquire the "Squigifferous Ink Pen Set"?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons who, it seems, has once again broken into someone's house after dark to use their computer, and who had me going for a second there, actually checking the Webster's to see if such a word already existed, and who must be congratulated on his excellent pseudo-denotation (detonation?) of this neologismNow this begs the question of, just where does one go to acquire the "Squigifferous Ink Pen Set"?

This would be an item you'd search for at an antique store. They were handcrafted in Japan between 1901 when this species of squid was first being farmed for its ink, and 1955 when the Squiggiferous Ink Squid Blight took its toll on the Japanese squid farms devestating the population of this handy beast. Now this begs the question of, what, really, is the proper remover for the ink of the squid in quetion? (I don't mean the cheap kind that also removes the skin.)

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by an obviously over-tired, and stressed out man, working way to hard at whatever he is doing, as it is all to clear that he is in need of a rest...need proof? read the responce! zoobyshoe
Now this begs the question of, what, really, is the proper remover for the ink of the squid in quetion? (I don't mean the cheap kind that also removes the skin.)

Pssssssst zoob it's got iron in it, use the magnet!

Why is it always when you need to recall something, and you are really really tired, you can't?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Ogrinlltti opsoesd yb Mr. Robin Parsons Why is it always when you need to recall something, and you are really really tired, you can't?

Cssszzz xncnmmmmmmmmmm mllllllyyy
grooooooookkknerrrrrrm floooooooomspie squilllllltriisssshhhhhhchiiiiiiok joooooombro
zzzzzzzhnnnillyjgiiiiii ooojhpo uo dfo sblackfzzzzzzz//////?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
sssshhhhhhchiiiiiiok joooooombro
zzzzzzzhnnnillyjgiiiiii ooojhpo uo dfo sblackfzzzzzzz//////?

ABSOLUTELY! ...and I have to tell you! I don't think(!) that I have, ever, in the entirety of my living! have I heard it stated better!

Aside from that tarnish on my reputation, what else was inferred by that eloquent statement of the (I finally figured it out) Takeoff from the comic strip Shoe, Titled 'Zoo'? (hence we have the sematic strip "Zoo" by this guy in the strip 'Shoe')

 

[wasteofo2]

WTF IS QWANTUM MEKANIKS?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by that well-known bearded, fugitive who was recently pulled from a hidey-hole in the floor of a Kingston Public Library, Mr. Robin Parsons Aside from that tarnish on my reputation, what else was inferred by that eloquent statement of the (I finally figured it out) Takeoff from the comic strip Shoe, Titled 'Zoo'? (hence we have the sematic strip "Zoo" by this guy in the strip 'Shoe')

What was meant was that the tarnish on your reputation was supposed to have been shoe polish; your reputation was meant to have been polished to a lustrous shine, at the zoo, by 'Shoe".

For Quetion, see post by WasteofO₂ above.

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
For Quetion, see post by WasteofO₂ above.

Come on now, (way to easy) the number of mehcanics that must have been working on your car, for the bill to have achieved that need of Exponentiation!

While working on a car, how many mechanics does it take to "Change the light bulb(s)"??

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons While working on a car, how many mechanics does it take to "Change the light bulb(s)"??

Fewer, normally, than the number of light bulbs it takes to change a mechanic.Who do you turn to if the mail order bride you recently ordered from Minnesota, and who you have discovered by E-Mail and phone to be an attractive, scintillating personage, reveals that she will be arriving to live with you soon, but that, due to her membership in the Church of Bod Dob, The Pallindrome Boy and manager of the shipping department at a wearhouse near you, the wedding must be delayed for 32 years, six months, four days and three hours, in observance of the Pallindromic Retrogression, and that there will be no premarital sex?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Who do you turn to if the mail order bride you recently ordered from Minnesota, and who you have discovered by E-Mail and phone to be an attractive, scintillating personage, reveals that she will be arriving to live with you soon, but that, due to her membership in the Church of Bod Dob, The Pallindrome Boy and manager of the shipping department at a wearhouse near you, the wedding must be delayed for 32 years, six months, four days and three hours, in observance of the Pallindromic Retrogression, and that there will be no premarital sex?

Llac Dod Bob gnikaeps drawkcab, esrever !gnihtyreve, And have some really good Sex!

Does it really qualify as a "Stupid Quetion" if/when you ask it in the "What do you do if..." form? {but not in the forum, but the form, you know foaming, oops I mean... yikes! )

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons Does it really qualify as a "Stupid Quetion" if/when you ask it in the "What do you do if..." form? {but not in the forum, but the form, you know foaming, oops I mean... yikes! )

"Who do you turn to if..." is not the same as "What do you do if..." but, even if it were, it's stupid enough to be a stupid quetion.Should the marriage be performed by:
1.) A psychiatrist

2.) An Exorcist

3.) Zooby, the cat.

?