Avoiding homelessness on short timescale

[G037H3]

No. But I can only understand that as recreational activity, not a way to live one's life.

Then you don't know much about it. o.o

I'm not a very functional person on my own, it has little to do with experience/maturity, and everything to do with the parallel facts that I'm a): impractically minded, falling into the bog while gazing at the stars ;) , and b): have a huge hole in my life when I can't focus on another person.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Then you don't know much about it. o.o

I'll agree with you there. But if you are choosing a lifestyle in which you are always submissive and controlled by other people, it doesn't make sense that you get upset when they don't treat you like you want. The whole point is that they get to choose - to abandon you, to be nasty to you, whatever they want.

I'm not a very functional person on my own, it has little to do with experience/maturity, and everything to do with the parallel facts that I'm a): impractically minded, falling into the bog while gazing at the stars ;) , and b): have a huge hole in my life when I can't focus on another person.

Something that you do learn through experience and maturity is that people that you love and count on will leave. Sometimes it's voluntary, and sometimes they die. At some point, you have to learn to stand on your own two stilettos if you want to survive.

 

[JaredJames]

have a huge hole in my life when I can't focus on another person.

I'll be honest, you do seem a bit 'needy' the way you're talking here.

 

[G037H3]

I'll agree with you there. But if you are choosing a lifestyle in which you are always submissive and controlled by other people, it doesn't make sense that you get upset when they don't treat you like you want. The whole point is that they get to choose - to abandon you, to be nasty to you, whatever they want.

Yes, I realize that, and I know that I make myself very vulnerable to those who I am in a relationship with. The actual concept of it is a trade, though: security for me, and a chance to give of myself, in exchange for submission to them. Security to not worry about maddening mundane normal things is something that I greatly desire. And giving myself fulfills me emotionally. If a person resonates with my personal philosophy, my willingness to give to them ranks very highly in a comparison between I and other styled or self-styled 'slaves', etc. The point being that I know what I want, I know how I optimally function, and I know that it is a need, not simply a sort of interest or preference.

Something that you do learn through experience and maturity is that people that you love and count on will leave. Sometimes it's voluntary, and sometimes they die. At some point, you have to learn to stand on your own two stilettos if you want to survive.

Well, yes. That's why I'm learning Python instead of going out trying to meet someone that takes an interest in me.

 

[G037H3]

I'll be honest, you do seem a bit 'needy' the way you're talking here.

It depends on your perspective and norms. If you were a person who felt a great need to organize and structure another person, what they wear, what they eat, etc., then I would sound desirable.

It's sort of like being an uncut diamond. Anyone could try to cut me (create personal growth through disintegration), but only someone who actually sees my shape and size can have any hope at bringing out my shine and shade.

 

[Vanadium 50]

At the risk of sounding harsh, it sounds like you are making choices, and don't like the consequences. In life, you don't get to choose a course of action and also to choose the consequences. Once you haved selected a particular course of action, you have also selected the consequences. If you want to achieve or avoid a certain set of consequences, you need to select your course of action accordingly.

In particular, you seem to want to choose to let other people make major life decisions for you (e.g. where to live) but then don't like the consequences.

 

[JaredJames]

I'm curious why you felt it was right to allow a stranger to support you all that time? $600 per month is a lot of money. From what I've read, it doesn't appear you've done anything to try and support yourself and are now unhappy that they refuse to anymore. A bit selfish if you will.

From what I've seen, it appears you want someone else to work, tell you how to live, control you, and in return you 'dedicate' yourself to them? Basically, you want to be a 'kept' man/woman.

I do agree with Vanadium above.

Again, I do realize this is all very harsh, but I think a reality shock is needed. Get a job, get a decent place of your own, start again.

 

[G037H3]

At the risk of sounding harsh, it sounds like you are making choices, and don't like the consequences. In life, you don't get to choose a course of action and also to choose the consequences. Once you haved selected a particular course of action, you have also selected the consequences. If you want to achieve or avoid a certain set of consequences, you need to select your course of action accordingly.

In particular, you seem to want to choose to let other people make major life decisions for you (e.g. where to live) but then don't like the consequences.

I'm not complaining about that decision. I'm in a place with more opportunities now, and I wouldn't have been able to achieve it on my own. I am aware that the instability of my situation is *partially* my fault. I say partially because the deferral of life responsibility means that the blame is not just mine. Overall I'm happy with the direction I'm headed in. Some main goals in the next 6 months would be:

*find entry-level job
*move somewhere else (first step if free)
*start counseling for gender/depression
*become good enough at Python to be employed for it
*D/s relationship or owner

in roughly that order. Maybe uni after that. I know what I want to do. It's the loneliness tearing away at me, and the implementation issues surrounding the goals, that are constant obstacles.

If someone has a great deal of control over my life, and knows me very well, and instructs me to perform task A, if I try my best and fail, then it was a mistake of theirs, as they should know my abilities considering the dynamic.

 

[rootX]

Cut off the internet, stop thinking; start applying to jobs, start volunteering. Get some hobbies. Meet people.

 

[G037H3]

I'm curious why you felt it was right to allow a stranger to support you all that time? $600 per month is a lot of money. From what I've read, it doesn't appear you've done anything to try and support yourself and are now unhappy that they refuse to anymore. A bit selfish if you will.

From what I've seen, it appears you want someone else to work, tell you how to live, control you, and in return you 'dedicate' yourself to them? Basically, you want to be a 'kept' man/woman.

I do agree with Vanadium above.

Again, I do realize this is all very harsh, but I think a reality shock is needed. Get a job, get a decent place of your own, start again.

They wanted to help me, and in return I was obedient. It seems pretty straightforward to me. ._. I would have committed suicide without their intervention into my life. The reason I haven't gotten a job is that the week with them was so wonderful in contrast to the rest of my life that I despaired when they left me, and quickly became inconsolable after it was clear that the relationship had devolved away from direction, and more towards advice. Their visit touched off so much life within me that I never realized I had, and when they left the feeling was just as bad, in the other direction.

'Kept' is a subset of 'slave' =P (Idk how to do the subset notation, perhaps Unicode?)

I've already received my "reality shock". The problem is that I have essentially no $, so if I can't get a job in the next two weeks, my situation will be very bad.

 

[G037H3]

Cut off the internet, stop thinking; start applying to jobs, start volunteering. Get some hobbies. Meet people.

I have no IRL friends, if I stopped talking to the couple of people I chat with online, my mental health would most likely quickly deteriorate.

As for thinking, I can't ever stop. Philosophy is the highest goal in life; didn't you know?

Volunteering? I need $. :/

Hobbies = um...none?

Meet people? People are painfully ignorant and superficial. :(

 

[JaredJames]

As for thinking, I can't ever stop. Philosophy is the highest goal in life; didn't you know?

There are far better things you could be doing with your life than sitting around pondering what I consider worthless and unhelpful questions. Your plan to go into programming is brilliant. Focus on it and make a true career goal.

Volunteering? I need $. :/

Intern placements can lead to full time jobs.

Hobbies = um...none?

Get some. You like programming / want to get into it, there are local groups that meet once a month where I live that enjoy the subject. I'm sure America has them too.

Meet people? People are painfully ignorant and superficial. :(

With that attiude you are never going to meet anyone, let alone make friends.

Also, regarding the whole "partially your fault" thing in regards to your current situation. It is all your fault. Whether you choose to accept it or not, you made the decisions. You chose to follow the path that has led you to where you are now and there is no one to blame except yourself if you aren't happy with the outcome. You chose to be dependent on this person, you chose to become emotionally involved, you chose to rely heavily on them to survive. The fact they have now turned around and left is simply one of lifes "sh*t happens" cases. It is the fact you decided to be so dependent on them that has left you where you are now.

My view is easy on this subject - the only person you can truly trust to help you is yourself. The moment you start becoming dependent on others, you are simply try to shed responsibility.

If there's one trait I've found common throughout all people I've met, it's the constant searching for someone else to blame when things (start to) go wrong.

 

[Jasongreat]

I am aware that the instability of my situation is *partially* my fault. I say partially because the deferral of life responsibility means that the blame is not just mine.

The instability of your situation is all your fault, if you choose to defer responsibility to others, it was a choice you made and is therefore all your fault. These are the consequences of your choices Vandium50 spoke of in his post.

You have said you like philosophy, may I suggest Marcus Aurelious' meditations, Epictetus, and Nietzche, it might help you to read some masters(imo) of philosophy before you start trying to come up with your own.

 

[G037H3]

There are far better things you could be doing with your life than sitting around pondering what I consider worthless and unhelpful questions. Your plan to go into programming is brilliant. Focus on it and make a true career goal.

My buddies the Ancient Greeks disagree. :) But I know I have to focus on dull external things for now. Blah And yeah, programming is the most ideal of any job/career path I can come up with. o.o

Intern placements can lead to full time jobs.

In two weeks? -_-

Get some. You like programming / want to get into it, there are local groups that meet once a month where I live that enjoy the subject. I'm sure America has them too.

Meh, I dunno.

With that attiude you are never going to meet anyone, let alone make friends.

When the difference in intellect between two people reaches a certain range, it's impossible to have a real conversation.

Also, regarding the whole "partially your fault" thing in regards to your current situation. It is all your fault. Whether you choose to accept it or not, you made the decisions. You chose to follow the path that has led you to where you are now and there is no one to blame except yourself if you aren't happy with the outcome. You chose to be dependent on this person, you chose to become emotionally involved, you chose to rely heavily on them to survive. The fact they have now turned around and left is simply one of lifes "sh*t happens" cases. It is the fact you decided to be so dependent on them that has left you where you are now.

If a general knowingly orders soldiers onto a minefield and they all die, is it the fault of the soldiers?

My view is easy on this subject - the only person you can truly trust to help you is yourself. The moment you start becoming dependent on others, you are simply try to shed responsibility.

You're sort of right. It isn't an absolute, however.

If there's one trait I've found common throughout all people I've met, it's the constant searching for someone else to blame when things (start to) go wrong.

When I say 'submission', I don't mean it as a normal person does. I mean that I wish to open myself up to disintegration. It's like needing to jump into a furnace, because I know that the result will be a better self.

 

[G037H3]

The instability of your situation is all your fault, if you choose to defer responsibility to others, it was a choice you made and is therefore all your fault. These are the consequences of your choices Vandium50 spoke of in his post.

You have said you like philosophy, may I suggest Marcus Aurelious' meditations, Epictetus, and Nietzche, it might help you to read some masters(imo) of philosophy before you start trying to come up with your own.

I like how you assume I don't read philosophy. I'm a major ancient Graecophile.

 

[JaredJames]

My buddies the Ancient Greeks disagree. :) But I know I have to focus on dull external things for now. Blah And yeah, programming is the most ideal of any job/career path I can come up with. o.o

And philosophy kept the Ancient Greeks here to this day...

In two weeks? -_-

Got to try something. Just throwing ideas around.

Meh, I dunno.

Again, just ideas. But you really do sound disinterested in meeting people. If this is your attitude to social events/gatherings I suggest you stop complaining that you don't have any friends.

When the difference in intellect between two people reaches a certain range, it's impossible to have a real conversation.

Incorrect. I have some extremely 'dumb' friends and some amazingly clever ones. I can have conversation with both groups very easily. It's only when one party starts making statements about a subject the other party is knowledgeable on that things can become problematic. And yes, that works either way around.

If a general knowingly orders soldiers onto a minefield and they all die, is it the fault of the soldiers?

When you choose to join the army, you accept the consequences and the risk involved. The decision may not be a good one, the general may be in trouble for it and is certainly responsible for the outcome, but the risk of you being in such a situation was taken by you when you signed up. You chose to put yourself in a situation where you may have to walk through a minefield (or any other dangerous situation).
It's the same as joining a SWAT team, being ordered to storm a building and being shot. The responsibility of the call may be with someone else, but you accepted the risks of the job when you signed up for it. You made the choice put yourself in the line of fire and you know full well what the consequences might be.
You are looking for a scapegoat here. You are trying to put the blame on someone else.

You're sort of right. It isn't an absolute, however.

The only actions you can predict with relative accuracy are your own. Even people you feel you know well can surprise you. As predictable as you may feel someone is, it's only when under extreme circumstances that you find out who they truly are and if they will help you.
When you start putting responsibility onto someone else, you are trying to give it up. Call it a feel good method. "I'm leaving the decision up to you, therefore if it goes wrong it's your fault." It's a crude analogy but that's pretty much how it is.

 

[G037H3]

And philosophy kept the Ancient Greeks here to this day...

Have you ever used logic? Thank Aristotle.

Got to try something. Just throwing ideas around.

>_>

Again, just ideas. But you really do sound disinterested in meeting people. If this is your attitude to social events/gatherings I suggest you stop complaining that you don't have any friends.

I'm disinterested in meeting *normal* people. I'm sure there are a few people in Seattle that I'd be interested in being friends with.

Incorrect. I have some extremely 'dumb' friends and some amazingly clever ones. I can have conversation with both groups very easily. It's only when one party starts making statements about a subject the other party is knowledgeable on that things can become problematic. And yes, that works either way around.

No, it's correct. It's my life experience. "Don't use all those big words, do you think you're better than me or something?", "blah blah blah democracy", "blah blah blah unity and diversity", "blah blah blah oxymorons everywhere blah blah blah".

When you choose to join the army, you accept the consequences and the risk involved. The decision may not be a good one, the general may be in trouble for it and is certainly responsible for the outcome, but the risk of you being in such a situation was taken by you when you signed up. You chose to put yourself in a situation where you may have to walk through a minefield (or any other dangerous situation).
It's the same as joining a SWAT team, being ordered to storm a building and being shot. The responsibility of the call may be with someone else, but you accepted the risks of the job when you signed up for it. You made the choice put yourself in the line of fire and you know full well what the consequences might be.
You are looking for a scapegoat here. You are trying to put the blame on someone else.

You don't get the point of a D/s relationship. Look it up. :/

The only actions you can predict with relative accuracy are your own. Even people you feel you know well can surprise you. As predictable as you may feel someone is, it's only when under extreme circumstances that you find out who they truly are and if they will help you.
When you start putting responsibility onto someone else, you are trying to give it up. Call it a feel good method. "I'm leaving the decision up to you, therefore if it goes wrong it's your fault." It's a crude analogy but that's pretty much how it is.

See above, also see my previous post regarding disintegration.

 

[JaredJames]

You don't get the point of a D/s relationship. Look it up. :/

You agree to enter into the relationship, therefore you accept any consequences that come from it. What happens once you're in it has already been agreed to by you entering into it.

As much as I want to respond to the rest of your post, the thread is somewhat derailed. I'm going to back out and let it get back on topic. Done way too much derailing recently.

 

[dmatador]

Tough times or not, you love to complain. That is certain.

 

[G037H3]

Tough times or not, you love to complain. That is certain.

How am I complaining? =_=

 

[dmatador]

Would you settle if I said you were being difficult, rather? From what I can see on this thread alone, people are offering suggestions, and you in turn come back with arrogance and bitching and bull****.

 

[G037H3]

Would you settle if I said you were being difficult, rather? From what I can see on this thread alone, people are offering suggestions, and you in turn come back with arrogance and bitching and ********.

I take the time to explain why the suggestions aren't standalone solutions. I'm open and honest. I try to explain simple things that others don't understand, after I've already said them.

I'm not arrogant.
I'm not bitching.

 

[dmatador]

You are very arrogant, and I am definitely not alone in having that opinion. But this thread is way off topic. Good luck.

 

[fluxions]

By your own admission, you have no marketable skills, no social skills, no friends, no family to help you, no money, and a frail constitution. You are nearly homeless.

This seems like fairly strong evidence that your life strategy needs to be revised.

 

[G037H3]

By your own admission, you have no marketable skills, no social skills, no friends, no family to help you, no money, and a frail constitution. You are nearly homeless.

This seems like fairly strong evidence that your life strategy needs to be revised.

I have marketable skills, if people recognize the value of them. The rest are pretty true, but the 'social skills' thing isn't my fault; I'm a great conversationalist.

My life strategy was formerly 'do nothing + wait for owner', now it's 'get an entry-level job, learn to program, befriend a couple of other geniuses, be confident in myself, *find* owner'.

So my strategy has morphed quite a bit. The prime goal remains the same; my attitude towards achieving it has changed.

I have one month. I believe that I can accomplish a lot. :)

 

[JaredJames]

I have marketable skills, if people recognize the value of them.

From what you've said, it doesn't appear so. If people don't see you as having skills, how can they possibly see any value in them.

The rest are pretty true, but the 'social skills' thing isn't my fault; I'm a great conversationalist.

The conversations you have had here, don't show you as having good communicaiton skills. From this and past conversations with you it is clear you think a lot of yourself and even feel that you are above others in intellect, something which appears to be on the basis that you are into philosophy.

befriend a couple of other geniuses

Ah, so you consider yourself a genius. A clear sign of arrogance. (Before you tell me you are a genius, please note you have done nothing in any discussion I have been in with you to demonstrate this.)

I have one month. I believe that I can accomplish a lot. :)

That's a good attitude. Concentrate on a getting a job and a new place. Once done, then focus on programming.

 

[G037H3]

From what you've said, it doesn't appear so. If people don't see you as having skills, how can they possibly see any value in them.

True.

The conversations you have had here, don't show you as having good communicaiton skills. From this and past conversations with you it is clear you think a lot of yourself and even feel that you are above others in intellect, something which appears to be on the basis that you are into philosophy.

Not because I'm *into* philosophy. Because I realize things about the world that few others have fully realized.

Ah, so you consider yourself a genius. A clear sign of arrogance. (Before you tell me you are a genius, please note you have done nothing in any discussion I have been in with you to demonstrate this.)

Okay, so being a genius and knowing it is arrogance. That seems pretty irrational. Either I'm lying, deluded, or 'arrogant'. If I were lying, what purpose would it serve to open myself up to criticism? If I were deluded, the gains I have made in my life perspective are all for naught, as I base my philosophy on self-criticism and the need to overcome the present self.
If I'm simply 'arrogant', I shouldn't worry that you cannot see me for what I am. So I sha'n't worry. :3

That's a good attitude. Concentrate on a getting a job and a new place. Once done, then focus on programming.

Thanks. The idea is to spend roughly 40% of my time* looking for a job/place, and 40% on Python.

*Time = (24hours - (sleep+grooming+eating) )

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Not because I'm *into* philosophy. Because I realize things about the world that few others have fully realized.


Okay, so being a genius and knowing it is arrogance. That seems pretty irrational. Either I'm lying, deluded, or 'arrogant'. If I were lying, what purpose would it serve to open myself up to criticism? If I were deluded, the gains I have made in my life perspective are all for naught, as I base my philosophy on self-criticism and the need to overcome the present self.
If I'm simply 'arrogant', I shouldn't worry that you cannot see me for what I am. So I sha'n't worry. :3

Oh Lord. I have tried to stay out of this but you need to know. Your attitude is a sure recipe for failure. I have watched so many nobodies go down in flames because they couldn't get past their own delusions of grandeur - people who thought no less of themselves than you - that is has literally become a cliche. If you don't lose this attitude, you can expect a very difficult and unsuccessful life. If you were a genius is any meaningful sense, your life wouldn't be a disaster. Set goals, get a job, stop spending the day online telling everyone what a genius you are, and figure out that genius is ultimately measured by one's accomplishments, of which you apparently have none.

 

[JaredJames]

Thanks. The idea is to spend roughly 40% of my time* looking for a job/place, and 40% on Python.

*Time = (24hours - (sleep+grooming+eating) )

Good, I'd suggest more time on job hunting though. Leave python until you get an income and get a new place to live. Focus on one thing at a time.


Side Note:

I'd also request you look at the definition of arrogance. You are claiming to be a genius, but you have done nothing to prove it. That is being arrogant.

<sup>arrogant
1. Having or displaying a sense of overbearing self-worth or self-importance.
2. Marked by or arising from a feeling or assumption of one's superiority toward others: an arrogant contempt for the weak.
3.having or showing an exaggerated opinion of one's own importance, merit, ability, etc.; conceited; overbearingly proud an arrogant teacher an arrogant assumption</sup>

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/arrogant - (Quote format altered slightly to constrain length.)

For all I know you could be a genius. But based on what has been shown here, it doesn't appear so. So you fit the definition perfectly.

 

[fluxions]

I have marketable skills, if people recognize the value of them. The rest are pretty true, but the 'social skills' thing isn't my fault; I'm a great conversationalist.

My life strategy was formerly 'do nothing + wait for owner', now it's 'get an entry-level job, learn to program, befriend a couple of other geniuses, be confident in myself, *find* owner'.

So my strategy has morphed quite a bit. The prime goal remains the same; my attitude towards achieving it has changed.

I have one month. I believe that I can accomplish a lot. :)

What, exactly, are your marketable skills?

The 'social skills' thing is your fault. You need to get out there and learn how to interact with 'commoners.' The first step is to realize that people don't care to hear how great you think you are.

I suggest you find a job in the food service industry. Perhaps a coffee shop. These types of jobs typically accept people with little to no work experience (which certainly describes you). The wage, of course, will be quite low, and the work quite unpleasant, but it will provide enough income for you to get a very modest place of your own and have some food to eat. Further, you will gain valuable skills; in particular, you will learn how to interact gracefully with people you dislike and/or are better than.

 

[russ_watters]

Not because I'm *into* philosophy. Because I realize things about the world that few others have fully realized.

I'll start by plagarizing Ivan:

Oh Lord. I have tried to stay out of this but you need to know...

And fluxions:

...By your own admission, you have no marketable skills, no social skills, no friends, no family to help you, no money, and a frail constitution. You are nearly homeless.

This seems like fairly strong evidence that your life strategy needs to be revised.

It is readily apparent to me and it would appear pretty much everyone else in this thread that essentially your entire life to this point has led you to what is now nearly the rock-bottom of ultimate failure to flourish as a human being. No, you do not "realize things about the world that few others have fully realized". Clearly, essentially everything you think you know about being a serviceable member of society is wrong. You've made a few good steps and looking for help is also a big key towards fixing your life, but you have not yet let go of the belief system that has led you down this road. If you do not reject those beliefs completely, they will forever anchor you to failure.

I hope that stung a little: the sting is a wakeup call that you need to fix this problem of your philosophy, otherwise you will ultimately fall back into the same patterns. Consider this: the only reason you are making an effort now is the crisis that just befell you. It took the perception of mortal danger for you to even begin to reverse your course. Once that fear falls away, I fear you will fall back into your old philosophy and the cycle will repeat.

 

[G037H3]

I'm...disappointed by the previous three posts. None of you seem to realize how hard it is for me to have to deal with normal people. Since you're incapable of gauging my intellect by the ideas I espouse, I suppose that there is no reason in arguing.

I'll just focus on obtaining a job, and becoming a Pythonista. Arguing with people who cannot see what I am is a waste of time. If you have something constructive to say (constructive does not include telling an overly self-critical and self-blaming person that they're arrogant), that is fine.

 

[russ_watters]

I suggest you find a job in the food service industry. Perhaps a coffee shop. These types of jobs typically accept people with little to no work experience (which certainly describes you). The wage, of course, will be quite low, and the work quite unpleasant, but it will provide enough income for you to get a very modest place of your own and have some food to eat. Further, you will gain valuable skills; in particular, you will learn how to interact gracefully with people you dislike and/or are better than.

That's great advice, but I'm not sure a coffee shop will do. Food service at a nursing home probably pays better and accepts a lower quality of worker (which the OP is) because the working environment is so miserable. It is a much better character-builder than a coffee shop where the worst of it will be having snobby rich people look down on you, which may end up just reinforcing your own sense of superiority. Working alongside a poor, uneducated minority who is much better at your crappy job than you are is a wakeup call you desperately need.

 

[JaredJames]

I'm...disappointed by the previous three posts. None of you seem to realize how hard it is for me to have to deal with normal people. Since you're incapable of gauging my intellect by the ideas I espouse, I suppose that there is no reason in arguing.

We have gauged your intellect based on what you post.

I'll just focus on obtaining a job, and becoming a Pythonista. Arguing with people who cannot see what I am is a waste of time. If you have something constructive to say (constructive does not include telling an overly self-critical and self-blaming person that they're arrogant), that is fine.

Look, just because you don't like what you're being told, doesn't make it less true.

Sometimes telling it like it is, despite how hurtful it can be, is the best way forward for someone. If you don't accept what you are being told then we cannot help.

Constructive criticism isn't always positive.

 

[Mech_Engineer]

Set goals, get a job, stop spending the day online telling everyone what a genius you are, and figure out that genius is ultimately measured by one's accomplishments, of which you apparently have none.