Avoiding homelessness on short timescale

[G037H3]

It is readily apparent to me and it would appear pretty much everyone else in this thread that essentially your entire life to this point has led you to what is now nearly the rock-bottom of ultimate failure to flourish as a human being. No, you do not "realize things about the world that few others have fully realized". Clearly, essentially everything you think you know about being a serviceable member of society is wrong. You've made a few good steps and looking for help is also a big key towards fixing your life, but you have not yet let go of the belief system that has led you down this road. If you do not reject those beliefs completely, they will forever anchor you to failure.

I hope that stung a little: the sting is a wakeup call that you need to fix this problem of your philosophy, otherwise you will ultimately fall back into the same patterns. Consider this: the only reason you are making an effort now is the crisis that just befell you. It took the perception of mortal danger for you to even begin to reverse your course. Once that fear falls away, I fear you will fall back into your old philosophy and the cycle will repeat.

Ultimate failure? Define success. If success is knowing oneself, then I am undoubtedly succeeding.

Could you possibly imagine for a moment that perhaps some issues with my life aren't actually my fault? An LCD society, spiritual emptiness, culture of lies. These things are not my fault, and are a serious barrier to any sort of security or success.

If I am to give to "society", "society" will be those who are worthy. It will not be those who demand of me without fair compensation. I am not a resource to be abused.

The major flaw of my philosophy, in its current form, is an all-pervading fear.

I am on the edge of the chasm of nothingness, yet I stand there and contemplate it. Nothingness. That seems rather absurd, doesn't it? The chasm, is it a thing? Or is it the absence of something to interact with, a kinetic loneliness.

I fear myself, because I know myself. I fear myself because I know what is possible, and what is possible, nay, what is necessary, are actions which will be emotionally painful.
All of these patterns, speak to me. And I do not hear the echoes of human sentiment.

There, I've given something. It's still a gift, regardless of whether or not you can understand it.

 

[Mech_Engineer]

Wait, this one's even better:

 

[JaredJames]

success
1. the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.
2. the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.
3. a successful performance or achievement: The play was an instant success.
4. a person or thing that is successful: She was a great success on the talk show.
5. Obsolete.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/success

1. Not you
2. Not you
3. Not you
4. Not you
5. I hope not.

 

[Mech_Engineer]

Some other good ones because I just can't help myself. Funny because they're true

 

[russ_watters]

I'm...disappointed by the previous three posts. None of you seem to realize how hard it is for me to have to deal with normal people. Since you're incapable of gauging my intellect by the ideas I espouse, I suppose that there is no reason in arguing.
[emphasis added]

I honestly feel for you and wish you luck. You've begun to pull out of the dive you're in by addressing your physical needs and that's good, but you haven't even really hit the bottom yet (you're still in the apartment!) so you haven't fully failed yet. Certainly the immediate physical needs are the priority for today and this week, but they are only the result of the problem, they aren't the problem itself. Perhaps the jolt of actually hitting the bottom will do you better than the fear of hitting the bottom has. But either way, fixing the underlying mental cause of the problem is much more critical and much more difficult than temporarily addressing the physical consequences.

I do know a little bit about failure. Growing up, I had a single overriding goal in my life, a goal that was entirely up to me to fulfill. 12 years ago, I was firmly on the path to making it happen and nearly close enough to see it, when a mental flaw that dogged me my entire life caused me to lose it. To make matters worse, it wasn't lost for good, but I didn't deal well enough with the flaw to prevent it from continuing the failure and making it permanent. It was a devistating series of failures.

I still have the flaw, but I'm aware of it, I work to fight it and I'm at least moving in a positive direction. I spent 20 years learning that flaw and I don't yet know if another 20 years is enough to unlearn it, but I'm trying. You're in for a similar challenge and the most important thing you can do is recognize it and start to deal with it as soon as you can: the stakes are much higher for you than they were for me.

Good luck. Honestly.

 

[JaredJames]

Goethe, we aren't here to attack you. I think I can speak for everyone when I say that the members of PF will give you all the help and support they can. But, we also aren't here to blow smoke.

I do hope you sort everything out and get your life on track, but unless you are willing to accept what people here are telling you and at least take it on board you aren't going to get far and all of your posting here will be pointless.

 

[dmatador]

I think you just need to stop thinking. No one on here is incapable of understanding a single thing you have written...

Have you even started programming?

 

[russ_watters]

Ultimate failure? Define success. If success is knowing oneself, then I am undoubtedly succeeding.

I don't think you do know yourself, but regardless, the "success" I'm talking about is in being "a serviceable member of society". Again, you useem to acknowledge these failures:

By your own admission, you have no marketable skills, no social skills, no friends, no family to help you, no money, and a frail constitution. You are nearly homeless.

That's nearly every possible failure to be a serviceable member of society, minus crime.

Could you possibly imagine for a moment that perhaps some issues with my life aren't actually my fault? An LCD society, spiritual emptiness, culture of lies. These things are not my fault, and are a serious barrier to any sort of security or success.

Those things, whether real or not, are not part of what is being described as your failure. Most don't even affect you! Your failures are the things that are directly in your control, and there are a lot of them, but ultimately they can be summed up by your decision to give complete control over your own success/failure over to someone else. A productive member of society cannot give up their personal responsibility for their own success and still label their failure to be the fault of others. The failure to get a high school diploma is yours. The failure to get a job (because you've never attempted to get one!) is yours. The failure to interact with others in a way that enables you to have productive relationships is yours. Or more generally, the decision to give control of your life over to someone else was yours and the failures resulting from that decision are therefore also yours.

If you continue with this attitude, you will get rejected from a couple of job applications, decide society has it in for you and never try again, blaming all of your failures on society never giving you a chance when you haven't put in the effort required to take advantage of a chance in the first place.

 

[Vanadium 50]

I'm...disappointed by the previous three posts.

...

If you have something constructive to say (constructive does not include telling an overly self-critical and self-blaming person that they're arrogant), that is fine.

Remember how I said you can't choose a course of action and also choose its consequences? You also can't ask for advice and also get to choose the advice you receive.

Oh, and you might think about throttling down your contempt for "society" just a notch. They are the ones that will be providing you with the food you eat in just a few days. The reason you will be alive a month from now is because society has decided that even its non-contributing members should not starve to death. In other times or places this would not be the case. Something to think about.

 

[cobalt124]

I'm new to the forum, but I feel I need to say something to you. Firstly Hi. Now the rest. I'm going to be blunt, and what I will say is meant to be well intentioned and for your own good (sort of "tough care" if you will). It may be wrong in parts and coloured by my own experiences which I will apologise for in advance. Take it or leave it as you wish.

First I cannot be of any assistance with your practical situation, which you seem to have a good handle on, but your situation is difficult. Good luck.

From what you say you seem to be a very vulnerable person which seems to be coulouring your outlook (the fear of rape comes to mind, though I don't know all the facts do I). You need to sort out all the practical stuff first, but make sure you do sort it and you are not setting youself up to fail and be a victim and blame all around you (apologies if I am off mark - my personal experience here). You are qualified you need to get a job (stating the obvious here).

Here's a hard one. Your situation is your own doing, based on your own choices (again I don't know all the facts) If you really face this one everything can come right for you (from my reading of the thread you haven't yet). You say you have no friends and no-one to turn to so who else could be responsible (it hurts me to see someone going through this I know how it feels).

I'll now quote you - "As for habits, I've already completely cut out all of my math/programming studies, and all of my recreational internet perusing" - Thats good, keeping your habits may take you away from facing the issue(s). I must add you also need to drop the D/s thing, not abandon it forever but see it as it really is. It seems to me that is a very good way to set yourself up as a victim and stay as one, so I would advise dropping it until you are in a well enough state to have that relationship, or better to be in a position to choose to have that relationship or NOT, because it looks to me like you may be defining yourself on that relationship and submissive feelings and that is wrong (and I tell you it is a damn sight easier to see it in someone else than in yourself), and if this is the case and you really see it you can do something about it (seeing this part of it is slicing up my stomach).

Talk to a lawyer yes. You have rights, and you don't know what they are, and I suspect you don't feel you have/ deserve them. You do. You grew up in an abusive household, do all your troubles follow from that? If so, you need to start making choices not based on your past (easy to say). You say you tend to blame yourself for things that go wrong. Me too, its a good way of avoiding changing anything. You are trying to figure these things out. Definitely good, but note that trying can be a way of avoiding as failing is still an option (personal experience again). As Math is Hard said it seems you do not want control of your life and have handed it to those around you (been there, done that, didn't help). D/s is not a way of life. JarednJames says - "Perhaps not a deliberate act on your part?" It never seems like that but they are your choices (again been there).

I'm starting to repeat things that have already been said so looking at posts #81-96 there is sound advice and you (don't mean to be hard, just honest) are posting justifications and excuses for your situation which will get in the way of making any of it better. Post #96 and philosophy and genius and arrogance, see what is really going on and change it. Post #98 hits the nail on the head I'm afraid. And #101. And your post #102 - correct, don't argue, that's a step in the right direction. If plenty of people tell you you are standing in dog poo, it is likely you are standing in dog poo. All the posts afterwards seem to be giving the message I'm trying to get across in a more succint way so i will stop here.

Sorry if it's weird I've posted all this, I've never spoken like this to anyone, largely because much of my situation was a lot like yours and I've wasted a lot of years and now I'm putting it behind me and can actually do this and feel right inside. Apologies if this is full of apologies (I'm British, sorry). All the best and take care and keep posting how you get on.

John

 

[Mech_Engineer]

Good god man, paragraphs! Your post is nearly impossible to read as-formatted...

[PLAIN]http://dilbert.com/dyn/str_strip/000000000/00000000/0000000/000000/00000/1000/500/1589/1589.strip.gif

 

[JaredJames]

Good god man, paragraphs! Your post is nearly impossible to read as-formatted...

Couldn't breathe I laughed so hard!

 

[cobalt124]

Noted for future. I'm new to this, and was concentrating on getting it all down in the time I had available. Accuracy was most important. I'll endeavour to be as succint and presentable as others are in the forum, which I believe I noted somewhere in the last third of my previous post. Apologies (there I go again).

 

[cobalt124]

Is there a way to edit it and tart it up?

 

[JaredJames]

Is there a way to edit it and tart it up?

The edit button.

 

[cobalt124]

That better? Found some typos too.

 

[lisab]

That better? Found some typos too.

Welcome to PF, cobalt. You made some good points in your post.

 

[G037H3]

I'm trying to make a list of places to visit to talk to managers about jobs and such, and I realized I have little idea how to focus a list, considering my situation. I tried to obtain suitable results, but all I could really find were many news stories and papers about TG hiring discrimination. That definitely did not help my confidence. Most fast food (excluding like Subway), big box retailers (would make me cut my hair and wear slacks, etc.), and grocers (they're striking), are pretty much a waste of time. Any ideas? (I could have made this a separate thread, but I dunno)

 

[lisab]

Try temp agencies. It's a good way to get your foot in the door to places that might not hire you the traditional way. It's also a good way to get quick cash...just don't expect a 'good' job right off the bat.

 

[G037H3]

Try temp agencies. It's a good way to get your foot in the door to places that might not hire you the traditional way. It's also a good way to get quick cash...just don't expect a 'good' job right off the bat.

Since I'm on food benefits now, I only need a minimum of $500 or so a month. What kind of jobs do temp agencies give access to? :O

 

[JaredJames]

Fast food would make you cut your hair? Why? There's this amazing device called a hair net. Even blokes wear it in the UK.

Stop looking for these discrimination stories. Just apply for jobs.

The whole TG thing doesn't have to come up unless they specifically ask about it. You're not lying to them, you're not being dishonest. If it isn't specificied you must declare it then don't. And even then, is it something you'd know just by speaking to you? If not, let it slide.

 

[G037H3]

Fast food would make you cut your hair? Why? There's this amazing device called a hair net. Even blokes wear it in the UK.

Stop looking for these discrimination stories. Just apply for jobs.

The whole TG thing doesn't have to come up unless they specifically ask about it. You're not lying to them, you're not being dishonest. If it isn't specificied you must declare it then don't. And even then, is it something you'd know just by speaking to you? If not, let it slide.

Fast food/resturants would make me suicidal. I know I'm going to have to deal with a certain level of stupidity regardless of what I do (for now), but being yelled at by a 40 year old who is angry at their failure to make anything of their lives, is not an attractive prospect. I'm also horrible at focusing on minuitae, so dishwashing is out...I have a very active mind, some of the most low-level positions are something I'd fail miserably at. And that's okay, I just need to focus on trying to find places I'd do well at.

I wasn't looking *for* discrimination stories. I was trying to find info/advice on how to approach a job search as a TG person.

I wear eyeliner, girls shirts, skirts, etc., pretty regularly. I don't really have much male clothing; it's repulsively bland.

I've been researching the idea lisab had, about a temp job agency, and it seems like that would be what I really want. *Job placement*. Now the issue is to find one that focuses on entry-level work, I guess. Most of what I've seen is either light industrial/clerical, or degreed positions.

 

[cristo]

Fast food/resturants would make me suicidal. I know I'm going to have to deal with a certain level of stupidity regardless of what I do (for now), but being yelled at by a 40 year old who is angry at their failure to make anything of their lives, is not an attractive prospect. I'm also horrible at focusing on minuitae, so dishwashing is out...I have a very active mind, some of the most low-level positions are something I'd fail miserably at. And that's okay, I just need to focus on trying to find places I'd do well at.

When you post something like this it's like you've just ignored the last 8 or so pages of this thread. You have no work experience and no marketable skills and don't have any money to pay next month's rent, so I really don't see how you can be so picky when it comes to jobs. I don't understand why you're not blanket-bombing every business that you have even the slightest chance of being hired by. The fact that you're not, and that you're still 'thinking' and posting here tells me that the situation may well not be as difficult as you've had us believe.

 

[JaredJames]

When you post something like this it's like you've just ignored the last 8 or so pages of this thread. You have no work experience and no marketable skills and don't have any money to pay next month's rent, so I really don't see how you can be so picky when it comes to jobs. I don't understand why you're not blanket-bombing every business that you have even the slightest chance of being hired by. The fact that you're not, and that you're still 'thinking' and posting here tells me that the situation may well not be as difficult as you've had us believe.

I totally agree.

Goethe, you are asking how to avoid homelessness and we have told you. Get a job, any job and earn some cash. We're not talking about something you'll be doing for the rest of your life, it's simply a stop gap solution to get you some money.

Your attitude is very much "I'm better than these people" and frankly, right now you ain't. There is no reason you can't get a basic job and earn some cash other than your big head not letting you apply for them. These people you see as failures are earning money, paying tax and at the moment, supporting you.

I fully support the benefits systems of the governments, but I do not support them giving money to people who don't work for ridiculous reasons such as those you are giving.

So far as your clothing/makeup goes, tuff. If you really are that desperate for cash, would it kill you to stick some 'male' clothes on for a few hours a day? No. You're just looking for excuses.

We're a post away from me completely losing it with you. Change your attitude. Change if fast.

 

[G037H3]

When you post something like this it's like you've just ignored the last 8 or so pages of this thread. You have no work experience and no marketable skills and don't have any money to pay next month's rent, so I really don't see how you can be so picky when it comes to jobs. I don't understand why you're not blanket-bombing every business that you have even the slightest chance of being hired by. The fact that you're not, and that you're still 'thinking' and posting here tells me that the situation may well not be as difficult as you've had us believe.

Or maybe I react to things differently than others. If I weren't trans and frail, I wouldn't have an issue with behaving in the manner of Diogenes. I intend on asking the libraries in the greater Seattle area this week whether or not they have any available positions. That's one thing. I'm just looking for other opportunities.

There is little point in chasing something that won't last.

 

[JaredJames]

There is little point in chasing something that won't last.

You don't want something that will last. You want something to get you some cash quickly. Once you've got that, you can work on getting something better and learning programming.

You can't go from nothing to a fairly good job just like that.

 

[G037H3]

You don't want something that will last. You want something to get you some cash quickly. Once you've got that, you can work on getting something better and learning programming.

You can't go from nothing to a fairly good job just like that.

Agreed. But I shouldn't put myself through needless suffering *if I can avoid it*. Going to sleep, it's already really late. :) I intend on contacting the major libraries in my area, and possibly signing on with a temp agency or two. I really am trying. :I

 

[JaredJames]

Apply to every company available. No matter what they are. You can't afford to be selective.

 

[cobalt124]

Hi Goethe, straight in I'm afraid. Read the last six posts and take it on board. Accept it and do something about it. Your situation is bad enough, don't let your attitude make it worse. Get a job, get some money, get somewhere to live, its siht yes, but you have to do it. I'm not just saying this out of my head, for what its worth in ten days my department announces a restructure that may involve 1/6 of the workforce redundancies, so by April next year I may be taking the advice I'm giving you, that is, get a job, any siht job, get the money in eat and have a roof over our heads. Drop the attitude, you can't afford it. Good luck.

John

 

[JaredJames]

I am sorry for my limited knowledge of the English language but I can't figure out what two posts above me mean really by "You can't afford to be selective" and "you can't afford the attitude" ?

Goethe tells us she is desperate for money, but then complains they can't find a 'suitable' job. Complaining that the work is 'below' her.

If she really is desperate, then any job will do to simply get some money.

That is what we mean by selective and attitude.

 

[xxChrisxx]

Also stop milking the fact that you are 'trans and frail'. It's really rather irrelevant as you aren't going to be Hod carrying. It's also really annoying to have it used as an excuse as to why you simply can't work anywhere that isn't exactly what you wanted to do anyway.

My 5 fold path to success (or at least payingfor your own food):

Stop moaning.
Get out to your local MaccyD's for a garbagety job.
Get paid whilst searching for a better job.
Find better job.
Quit garbagety job for better job.


EDIT: Just read the bit where you think you are a genius OP.

lol

 

[Oerg]

You just got to suck it up and pull through. If you really have to be homeless, it is not the end of the world, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_gardner" was homeless once.

 

[Jasongreat]

I'm also horrible at focusing on minuitae, so dishwashing is out...I have a very active mind, some of the most low-level positions are something I'd fail miserably at. And that's okay, I just need to focus on trying to find places I'd do well at.

Who says that if you do menial tasks you have to focus completely on that task, or that only idiots do physical tasks. One thing I like about doing manual labor is that it is physically demanding, but has a very low mental drain. The whole time you are washing dishes you could think about your philosophy, or anything else you heart desires, it doesn't take your full focus to wash a dish. For that matter running a shovel would help your fraility problem at the same time as earning you a paycheck. My mother used to have a little saying, "cant's a slugger to lazy to try", seems to fit your attitude fairly well.

 

[G037H3]

My situation has seemingly radically changed; I'm now looking for a job in Portland!

 

[JaredJames]

My situation has seemingly radically changed; I'm now looking for a job in Portland!

You finally got out of that place I take it? If so, well done. Does this make things better or worse for you?