Bad Math Jokes

[mfb]

Not all math puns are terrible...just sum

You asked for a collection of 10/10 jokes, but that's just 1 joke.

 

[256bits]

The triangle finished the discussion with the circle "You are pointless!"

 

[jack action]

Think long and hard before trying to do the math:

 

[BillTre]

Think long and hard before trying to do the math:

View attachment 319227​

Cut the two apples in half with a single stroke.
This gives four halves.
Throw one away.

 

[Ibix]

Cut the two apples in half with a single stroke.
This gives four halves.
Throw one away.

Less dark than my approach...

 

[berkeman]

Less dark than my approach...

Yeah, same here.

 

[Ibix]

Yeah, same here.

Remind me not to get in a car accident wherever it is you're an EMT...

 

[berkeman]

Less dark than my approach...

Well, given the the position of the knife...

Blond Boy: "Hey, we could have just thrown away one of the apple halves!'

Brown-Haired Girl: "Hmm, I didn't think of that..."

 

[Baluncore]

First, pick up the knife, then think.

You don't have to swim faster than a crocodile, only faster than the slowest member in your group.

 

[pinball1970]

No issues with maths and I suppose it is going to me that has to say it out loud.
Cut one apple in half for the chaps and give the lady the full one, we all know they would not hear the last of it otherwise.

 

[Halc]

Auld Lang Sine

Should unit circle be plot out
while using axis Y,
The unit circle thee plot out
is a graph entitled 'sine()'

A graph entitled sine, my love,
A graph entitled sine!
A classic trigonomic set
is a graph entitled "sine()"

-- An original just now by my daughter

Happy New Year all!

 

[jedishrfu]

Happy New Year!

Your daughter wins the poetry of math competition. The next best entry was from ChatGPT:

As the year comes to a close,
We say goodbye to all that's been,
But before we turn the page and start anew,
We sing a song that never fails to renew:

The words of "Auld Lang Syne" ring true,
As we celebrate the old, and look forward to the new,
With memories of friends and loved ones dear,
We raise a glass and bring in the new year

The sin and cos of time have brought us here,
To this moment, bright and clear,
We stand together, hand in hand,
Ready to face whatever this new year has planned.

So let us sing and dance and cheer,
As we bid farewell to the old year,
And welcome in the new with open hearts and minds,
For auld lang syne, we'll leave behind.

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[Ibix]

If you have a string of final length and call this length 1, then you need irrational portions of such strings to make a circumference.

If you have a string that makes a circumference and you call its length 1, then the part of it that represents the diameter is irrational.

You cannot have both at the same time.

...because that would be irrational.

(Sorry - could not resist, but didn't want to pollute thread.)

 

[jack action]

 

[Ibix]

If I had 50p for every maths test I failed I'd have £6.30 by now.

 

[martinbn]

View attachment 321282​

Impressive that 2% of the people can!

 

[jedishrfu]

Those 2% folks drink a lot of milk.

 

[pinball1970]

Those 2% folks drink a lot of milk.

In the UK we would say, they have had their Weetabix. I looked on the internet this afternoon to try and find a good maths joke for pf, my favourites are mathematician, physicist, Engineer jokes.

I tried quite a few sites (lunch hour) and I realised I had read all of them in one form or another on pf.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

True story: The first time a physics professor walked in and started talking about canonical coordinates, for a moment I thought he meant conical coordinates but had been drinking.

Moral of the story: Read the material before class.

 

[jedishrfu]

or wear a cone hat?

My friend and physics coconspirator liked to ask me questions after our tests which I didn't like to answer. In one case he asked about some problem and said he got x=... y=... and z=... and my reply but it was a 2D problem... mic drop...

 

[Ivan Seeking]

nice guy

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Both a math AND a philosophy joke

 

[Baluncore]

You take a third way, pulling the lever, but only half way, derailing the trolley.

 

[Ibix]

Both a math AND a philosophy joke

View attachment 321578

While there's no right answer to these moral questions, some choices are $\beth$er than others.

 

[Swamp Thing]

Both a math AND a philosophy joke

View attachment 321578

 

[Swamp Thing]

Both a math AND a philosophy joke

View attachment 321578

But isn't it true that you can make a one-to-one mapping from one set to the other? Which would make both sets the same size?

OTOH, if they had somehow been grouped as 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + ..., would a zombie rise from the grave that is 1/12 alive?

 

[pinball1970]

But isn't it true that you can make a one-to-one mapping from one set to the other? Which would make both sets the same size?

OTOH, if they had somehow been grouped as 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + ..., would a zombie rise from the grave that is 1/12 alive?

-1/12!
Edit: wow another 20 year member!

 

[pinball1970]

I thought he was going to rescue everyone, that's no fun though!

 

[martinbn]

But isn't it true that you can make a one-to-one mapping from one set to the other? Which would make both sets the same size?

No, that is the point made. There is no such map. The real numbers are more than the integers.

 

[DaveC426913]

 

[Baluncore]

The concept of sacrifice seems to be fundamental to human reasoning, and is often rewarded by the community.

A leader's survival is predicated upon their ability to manipulate others into a position of self-sacrifice.

 

[Jarvis323]

But isn't it true that you can make a one-to-one mapping from one set to the other? Which would make both sets the same size?

OTOH, if they had somehow been grouped as 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + ..., would a zombie rise from the grave that is 1/12 alive?

Unless the people are infinitesimally small, both choices lead to a finite number of people run over. Rather, the second choice can't exist in a reasonable model. Well neither can in reality, but the second choice can't exist more!

The main flaw I mean to point out is that there will never exist a time when the number of people the train has run over is non-finite (at least in the first case for sure).

If we can assume the question asker just made a conceptual mistake in terms of confusing unboundedness and infinity, but we can still trust that an uncountable infinity of people were lined up on the second track, then we can assume those people are infinitesimal, and infinitesimal people cannot be harmed by being run over. So in that case, the least harmful choice is to switch tracks.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

But isn't it true that you can make a one-to-one mapping from one set to the other? Which would make both sets the same size?

Look up the cardinality of an infinite set.